Stream Chat Mods - Page 4

Hello, my name is fanatacist, twitch account TrappedInC.



I used to be a moderator on clanbnu.net, a website dedicated to a clan that was around for years. I had amassed approximately 6000 posts on that site before its forum reset. I ruled the lands with an iron fist. Stupidity was punished with humiliation and indiscriminate banning. People who tried to mask their trollish behavior or inherent ignorance were unearthed through superior NCIS-level detective skills which involved at least level 9 bait and trap techniques. The rest of my repertoire in this field is unfortunately confidential; this is a war of information and attrition.



Despite many a failing on this very website, Team Liquid, I have learned valuable lessons the hard way. Sometimes, even the monkey falls off the tree. By having been banned for such a great variety of reasons and over such a long duration of time, my tenure as the second-most-banned poster on this website ensures that I will handle the moderation of your chat channel with experience and almost vengeful brutality. I have posted over 40,000 posts on forums in my life - I have seen it all. I feel no remorse turning on my former brethren. I am like that 'Catch Me if you Can' guy.



My current greatest infatuation in life is actually my friend's mother. She says she is 50 - I know she lies. Her beauty cannot be described without running the risk of the reader's boxers to get soaked in lovejuice or have the reader's panties creamier than an eclair on a hot summer day. Some may say that this might be detrimental to my duties, as moderation is not my number 1 priority. I can see your point, but I think it betrays something greater about me: the power to dream. I have a dream that Nony's twitch.tv chat can be free of trolls. I have a dream that I, with a few of my trusted co-moderators, can withstand the massive onslaught brought upon us by the infinite source of power that is human stupidity. Would you rather have a defeatist or a dreamer as your moderator? Think about it.



Having been a complete asshole for the majority of my life, I have grown callous and unforgiving. I will ban people first and ask questions never. All applications for unbanning must include a formal hand-written letter of apology or heroic ode to Nony, as well as community service in the form of productive SCWiki updating of tournament results. They must also include a picture of the violator bent over in front of his monitor, with the Glider portrait of Tyler maximized on the screen. Subservience starts from the dregs of society and instills fear in those who may be tempted to walk the dark side.



Sure, I may be an outspoken antagonist of SC2. This is why I am the perfect candidate: I don't need to nor do I want to watch the games (nothing against Nony's play, of course; it's a game preference). Of course this might lead to some omitted bans due to my lack of knowledge of how stupid their comments might be regarding the outcome of the game, but I will let the more SC2-savvy mods handle this.

I think it's pretty clear that I am the most worthy candidate for this position. I will even do the first week for free, as a sign of good will to Lord Tyler and for quality assurance purposes. Please PM me with any specific requests for moderation filters. Thank you.