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I don't think I've ever heard someone call me competitive. I never really get upset when I lose at something and I never really dig into someone when I win. But the simple truth is that I'm actually really competitive during a game, convincing myself not to care is pretty much impossible. I'll always strive and play my best until I know for certain that I've lost.
And as such this has lead to a weird form of ladder anxiety for me that's physical, rather than mental. For some reason, I get myself so revved up when I play a match that if it goes over 15 minutes I'm practically shaking from all of the adrenaline. This makes it hard to want to click on the find match button again for another few minutes. (In which time I often find myself absorbed into something else.)
Truthfully, I'm not making this post to find out solutions to this problem since I already overcame this in another area. When I first learned to drive I experienced the same symptoms. Then commuting for an entire semester pretty much killed that problem dead. So I know I need to just push through the jitters and play on a regular basis.
The reason that I'm writing about this is because when I mentioned this to my friends they all looked at me like I was crazy. It was something none of them had ever heard of before. This made me curious. I've heard about people being afraid to lose or just being afraid of competing. But have any of you run into the same problem I'm struggling with?
Sidenote: For what it's worth, no this has never happened to me with other games or sports. I can play games like Halo Reach or Tennis for hours on end, and this pretty much never happens.
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I don't really feel "anxiety" I just hate to lose and starcraft stresses me out for some reason. I'm not afraid of losing, I don't really care if I lose, I don't like it but I don't fear it, but for some reason the ladder is just not fun for me. It's too serious I guess lol. I have fun when I offrace as protoss and rush carriers and stupid stuff like that.
I definitely understand the adrenaline thing, but I only get that feeling and kinda shakiness when I play at LAN tournaments when it's like a Bo5 vs somebody really good. But I think that just goes away after a while when you get used to it. I definitely play better at LAN tournaments when this happens, but the after effects are quite odd when you are out of the game.
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I'm like that too. Though for me, in the beginning I'm fine. The second I start actually seeing my opponent, I feel more adrenaline and I often end up misclicking/pressing often and end up being very sloppy. I don't mind if I lose, but I can't seem to shake off the feeling that I have to perform well during the match and I guess that contributes to it.
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when i was plat, i used to shake all the time. it was really awkward because when we got to the mid game (these were the days when i went muta ling bling in all my zvts) my left pinkie would always start shaking because i was really really REALLY scared of stimmed marines so i had trouble hitting the A button...LOL. but yea, i kinda get what you mean. i got over my chronic fear when i learned how to fungal and i just started playing more 1s glgl~!
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I think a lot of your anxiety might have to do with comfort. When SC2 first came out and I hit diamond, I was almost scared to play. In match queue I'd be nervous (when I get nervous, my teeth go dumb, its strange, I know, but thats what I sat there not feeling) and in game, I'd shake a little, my heart would be pumping, etc.
After I played a handful of games, started feeling confident (as I moved to the top), the anxiety went away. I think you should try to relax, enjoy the game a little more and you won't feel that way ^_^
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I definitely had this too. I think it used to be related to how confident I was feeling and how...invested I was in the outcome of the game. The more confident I got and the more I adjusted my laddering mindset to be about just executing my builds well, there was less adrenaline and less stress. I guess the unknown, dangerous, and exciting things in life will give you that adrenaline rush, but once they become habit (known) or less dangerous and exciting, the rush will die as it did with your driving. So basically, practice approaching it with a different mindset if you can.
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Take a deep breath. Literally. Your heart rate will slow down back to a normal rate, making you feel much better.
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Wow so it's not quite that uncommon. And there some great suggestions for people too:
aike: Yeah it's strange. It's almost like all that adrenaline makes it hard to stop concentrating and give your mind a break. But from what your saying it definitely seems tied to nervousness.
Zhou: So like a self-conscious thing then? Yeah that makes sense. I get that feeling the most when I'm doing where I'm being judged.
Andromedan: Dude really? Haha it's funny how that stuff happens. And yet more confirmation that practice clears it up over time. :D
JerKy and Vod.kaholic: I think you guys really hit it straight on. It's gotta be a comfort level thing. Recently I had a game too where everything felt alot better than normal and even though I got those jitters it didn't really feel uncomfortable. Now I actually feel more like playing more too. It definitely explains what happened with driving.
Heh_: That is true. It's a good way to recover after the game is done. *Harry Potter reference incoming* A tiny piece of chocolate seems to have a similar effect if it's really bad. (Or so those books would have you believe.)
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I'd really like to hear the story of you driving competitively with adrenaline pumping through you.
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Often enough after a really intense game, I'll sit back in my chair and feel my heart pumping like crazy.
I wouldn't say the adrenaline is negative for me, though, I tend to play much faster and pay closer attention when I'm that focused on what's going on. I don't even really notice until the end of the match when I lean back and can hear my blood pounding in my head..
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Probe1: Well I haven't really been playing long enough to have any really GOOD stories yet. But here's one from a couple days ago.
I hit the matchmaking button for the first time in a couple days. Haven't really been playing the greatest, so I took some time to step back, watch some vods, and practice my mechanics by maxing in solo games for a day or two. Basically, I'm not expecting much from the game. But it turned out to be a pretty insane experience.
My opponent comes up. Ohana LE. Random. Oh boy here we go. I think to myself. For a long time I've had problems with holding off early attacks. So when I see random players my confidence sinks a little. At least if I know a little about timings with normal players. But randoms who like to play fast and loose in the early game? Not so much. I scout early, my opponent spawns zerg and nothing seems fairly out of the ordinary. Manage to keep my scouting probe alive so I park him out on the map until a little later. I head back up into his base and, sure enough, no second.
I start poking around the map to check if something odd is going on and I catch a few blue dots on the mini-map. I tap over to my scout and roaches! Roughly 4 or 5, wasn't 100% sure. I pull my units into my base and manage to hold him off with a few forcefields. I warp in enough sentries to keep me safe, but I don't effectively have enough to deal with the roaches. He has me well trapped with a contain.
So what do I do? Well honestly if my opponent was expanding there wasn't much time. So I built a few more units and danced back and forth on the ramp for a bit. It was starting to get desperate so I tech up to DTs. (And yeah you can guess where this is going.) I manage to cause a little damage to his main and scare off the roaches for a bit. But not for long, my opponent was on top of things and had a few overseers in fairly short order. I manage to get the overseers when he comes back to my base and stabilize. FINALLY, (I think it was around 15 minutes Blizzard time.) I expand.
Now honestly, having been trapped in my base that long I really shouldn't have had a chance from then on. My opponent should easily be a couple bases up on me and teching hard. But, my dts only saw a natural. I suppose he thought I was dead already so he didn't focus on macro much. Lucky! I think to myself. (If you're an anime fan, then you know how I thought it.) He keeps coming with occasional attacks, but forcefields, some immortals and occasional dts help keep me in the game. I knew that I was relying on his mistakes to keep me going, but maybe ... just maybe.
I get away with getting a third and we're even on bases. I suppose he didn't know what to do from there, because the attacks stopped completely for a while. There was a long, tense silence, and eventually I was able to build up a big army and win by running his third over. (At which point he rage quit.) (That long silence bit actually makes the replay a tad on the boring side. But hey, it was exciting in the moment.)
Morale of the story? I gg when two conditions are met. 1. When I think I'm dead. And 2. When I'm convinced my opponent is irrevocably ahead. That second one comes from my competitive spirit. I have quite a few more stories of that sort of thing with Tennis to be honest, since I've been playing that much longer. But it's a similar sort of thing, as long as I believe I have a reasonable chance. I'm not giving up.
dGHaiL: Yeah I'd have to agree that it doesn't really have any negative effects in game. I suppose you could say the "anxiety" part of it for me is subconsciously wanting to avoid the aftereffects. Maybe if I take a more positive view on it I can deal with it better. Thanks!
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