Trials and Tribulations

Frustration, anger and stress!
So basically this week has been a (fudging) (female dog). Uni/college assesments due in and exams closing in fast. This year (as in academic year (Sept-May)) has absolutely flown by me. It is a stange feeling for me to look back at a year and barely remember where you have been and how much you have done in a year. I remember back in September, thinking "Oh wow, this year's gonna be long, hard and take some real tough work". But to be honest I had it easy. Going out socialing ALOT, playing ALOT of games, eating out ALOT and I basically pigged out this year and dragged along while time passed me by, and assignment deadlines approached.

I love my Uni course and yet, somehow, one of the main assignments I have to hand in soon (a couple of days left) is still incomplete. Why do some people like me not realise that if they worked on something bit by bit they could have a major assignment done in good time for handing in? I'll tell you why. Because humans are generally becoming LAZY. I don't understand it, there is something inside me telling me that it will be alright because I will get this assignment handed in OK regardless, but no. The stress I am experiencing from not having this done is painful. I hate the stress so much and yet it's my own fault for not doing the work in better time. Anyway, the assignment is basically creating this multimedia project but the software we use to create it is the single worst piece of software I have ever encountered hands down. I think the little apps to make fart noises are more useful than this horrible creation I have to use to make a multimedia project. The worst thing about it is that when I actually do go to do some work for it, the damned program keeps crashing randomly, deleting any work I've done on that particular file. But that isn't too bad, because the shitty software AUTOSAVES every two seconds and has ONE undo level so if you mess up, congratulations, its probably permanant.

So yeah, been trying to code a game in this piece of shit and its so awful and I hate it so much I just had to vent the anger here, its so so so terrible and it goes by the name of "Adobe Director 11.5". Anyone who has encountered this program will have to agree how much of a terrible of an excuse it is and how much I fudging fudging fudging hate it. Damn it is so bad. It's like, "Hey Mackin, I see you're trying to make something productive there" and then BAM it doesn't work anymore, even though it worked for days and days no matter what else you changed. Its just so bad.

On top of this, exams are starting next week so I've got basically no time to learn what the hell is going on in half of my classes before the exam destroys me. I used to never get stressed, no matter the situation, maybe it's because my education actually costs me something now that I actually care about it. Its stress to the fudging max. Damn it.

So all of this crap makes me feel like the above video. Just like I'm the earth and my doom is that big ass asteroid coming to obliterate me. I get so annoyed thinking about this crap because to do what I actually want to do in my career I'm gonna have to go through this bull for another 4 full years after this one, and I'm gonna come out with a literal fudgeton of debt. The above are all the crappy feelings I have when I think about all this, but all is not lost.

Optimism, happiness and postive thinking!
On the other hand, this video is like the total opposites of the first in my opinion. And these are the kind of ones I try to keep myself feeling at all times. When I compare all the stuff I have to others, I always remember these are dumb "first-world-problems" and it kind of makes me happy to know that at least I have the things I need to live safely, comfortably and securely and makes me look at all the positives I have in my life.


Family. Family are so awesome to me. They are the difference in me enjoying life and total pointlessness. They make me glad I'm alive and happy to be so. Family to me are the most important thing in my life. They are the one consistent thing I can rely on, the one consistent thing I can put my trust and faith into and know I'll get a positive outcome. Family are one of the things that make me glad I have the so called "crappy" problems and not anything less fortunate. Keeping in touch with family may not seem important at times, but go too long without talking to a family member and you can totally lose all connection with them, and as a result, anything postive that you could offer each other.

Friends. Friends are pretty cool too. They keep the balance of happiness within me and keep me in check if I step out of line or say something wrong. They keep me entertained when I'm not playing games (if I'm not playing with them that is ) and they always seem to make life feel more positive. I'm as lucky to have them as they are me and I know that some of them would do anything (relatively not absolutely anything) but they would really help me out when I need it. Maintaining friendships is important to me and they are one thing that help me relax when it comes to the evenings and I go out to enjoy the occasional beverage or four .

Gaming + TV shows. Everyone needs a hobby to pass the time and seeing as I'm on TL, I clearly love games so that would be one of mine. In the past few years my passion for games has dimmed somewhat, but I always know I'll be playing them for fun and hopefully someday making them! Games are so fun and I genuinely think Starcraft has changed my life. It is amazing how long one spends on SC2 once they have delved into TL. MLGs, GSLs, IPL all the tournaments provide me with ample entertainment and help me forget about ridiculous assignments and crummy exams when im annoyed with it all. Another thing about games can be absolutely depressing in their story lines and still make me happy, not only the fact that they're fun, but knowing how good I actually have it in life compared to those less forunate than myself. Im no richy-rich, but I certainly won't be scraping food from the streets anytime soon.


Positive thinking. People should just be happier. It sounds stupid and ridiculous but I have too many friends and peers and co-workers that are wasting their lives worrying a lot more than I do. I only worry when I've made a huge mistake or left something too late to be perfectly corrected (see above ) Being happy is strange for me, because I can just choose when to feel it, I just think about things that make me happy and stop worrying immediately.