EPTAbout two weeks before MLG columbus, I got myself a girlfriend. I got her by taking her to Robek's and hanging out with her and giving her the occasional phone call when I was driving to and from one of my many choirs. Eventually, dating was inevitable.
Before MLG columbus
Well, I left a part out. Before we went out, we were at a party watching a movie. EXPLICIT DETAILS AHEAD+ Show Spoiler +
basically I got her pretty aroused yet couldn't finger her because my arm was around her a little too high to reach. Plus, we aren't dating yet. But as I kinda recognized I shouldn't expect to give/get some tonight, she leans against me(we are under a blanket) and slowly moves her hand down to my crotch. Massages it, then unzips and massages the head. Dear god, there is nothing like a women's touch after over a year. But then it was midnight, my curfew, and I had to leave.
We also sit at the same lunch table. I love my lunch table. My entire lunch table knew it was my intent to date her. In fact, she knew this with her ex-bf. It wasn't like a constant reminder thing, just an idea that she was the girl for me that I could not deny. So anyhow at lunch after the party we were holding hands and it was really cold. So she was wearing one of those big ass sleeved shirt that you can see into if they have their arms up. She put my hand in, and all that was there was her skin and her bra, and warmth. MMM. Apparently "she forgot to put on a tank top" Yeah whatever I had whatever fun you could have at a lunch table in high school.
Eventually I asked her out. Robek and Panera dates galore.
So I invited her over. We were gonna watch, Idk. We ended up spooning and then sexualish things were going on. But she decided she wanted me to see some youtube videos(my computer is hooked up to the widescreen Tv in the living room). So as she is leaning over the mouse and keyboard, I playfully grab her butt like how someone would grab a waiter's but. Her response was "Do you treat all your girlfriends this way?" She proceeded to explain to me that she was open to doing sexual stuff, but "we have to do this relationship right" and wait a while, an eventual system of sexual things. Well, that confused me on one hand(our relationship was borderline born from sexual things after much flirting) but at the same time I can accept that and I really haven't had a real bf-gf relationship ever. So while we were watching youtube videos, she taught me to kiss. Yep, I've done many sexual things but I don't know how to plain kiss. But it was fun. And sweet. And so we liked to kiss. After dates, after school, it was all cool.
The Grubby-erhemfhgssdf- I mean MLG columbus line lies here
I went to MLG columbus with my bro! It was so fucking awesome. I will say this. Day 1: Stephano vs Polt was possibly the only good game of the night but the crowd was FUCKING CRAZY. Day 2: There was maybe two good games on the main stage. Day 3: OMG sex amount of good games. MKP ended up vs everyone I was a fan of ever, and MKP won over my brother over the course of the weekend with his godly thor micro. So it was conflicting fans rooting their hearts out at the most suspenseful and wellplayed games ever. Parting lost his army at one point and then used 4 high templars and resent MKP's army too. Also, credit to that guy in Parting's fanclub who recently commented "STORMTOSS BOOM BOOM" its all I think about when I see Parting now. Also, on my way out I walked past Tasteless, Artosis, and DJ Wheat. OMG I was so starstruck I was dieing walking past them. And as I walked past them I literally could only say "Tastosis! DJ Wheat!" Like in kingdom hearts two when a disney character sees you again and says "Sora! Donald! Goofy!". Tasteless shook my hand and said "Thanks for coming, man." OMG OMG OMG OMG. Seriously OMG. I shud of gotten a pic. oh well.
Special Mention to: The free bags from dr pepper girls, the random guys i talked to about starcraft watching the main stage, Golden eating subway, Stephano sitting 10 feet away from me and me not being able to go up to him, the dr pepper pic with me and my bro and a girl that is the only pic i have of MLG columbus.
The MLG columbus Line ends here and thus a new part of the relationship.
I'm back! I don't text. I prefer phonecalls for any sort of communication and texts for things like "What is my curfew, what do you want at the grocery store, what was the homework?". So as I'm driving back I call her and talk to her for nearly the first time in the weekend. It's a nice little phonecall while driving....and later when I'm home and about to sleep and we're gonna hang out tomoro she's like "I missed you(tilde)." She has a signature tilde at the end of her words that I can't find on a keyboard. I was like "You haven't seen me yet." But she was like "Yeah but I missed talking to you" So yeah, good.
Fast forward a bit, hanging out with some people from catholic schools(we go to a public high school) we go to a few beaches. It was really nice because we would sneak kisses when alone and to some extent grind in public. Eventually it ended up being us and another couple and she kinda shut me down at panera bread by sitting opposite of me, even though there was sexual energy....meh.
Fast forward to a surprise party for our mutual friend. We are cute to some extent, we cuddle and kiss a bit, it's a laid back party, not a rager party. We went to CVS to get hair dye, it was the birthday girl who could now drive in one car and me and her in the other. We actually had a lot of fun, we acted really like a couple and did fun things and laughed together and took alternative routes to beat them home. It was a really nice time. When we get back, someone decides to play gay girl games on the wii(only girl games at girls houses). She suggests that she gets her games. Then I have to drive her to get her just dance, uhhhh dance dance rev and uhhhh some singing game. So we cuddle a bit, but she really just spends the night playing those games all the night(ALL the night for you memers). So I ditch at like 12:30 cuz its a girls sleepover and they still have to dye hair. I was kinda bummed after that. I went home and watched GSL and she said I could text her(I totally broke my own rule, I'm sorry guys and if you keep reading I do suffer the consequences) so I did. I guess I told her I was kinda down and shes like I'm here for you tell me what's up. So I told her how I feel like I'm just the sequel to her exboyfriend. WAIT, you don't know about him. New paragraph time.
Her ex-boyfriend. Let's call him skylar cuz it rhymes with his name. Skylar was her first boyfriend. They dated for like maybe 11 months. They had fingered, given handjobs, and she gave him a blowjob like twice. They argued about month 9, They would both get pissed off but she would fight for the relationship. Eventually, skylar just started ignoring her during school and they had to break up. I was there when it was her, her best friend(who had the surprise party) and I just watching movies and she broke down crying. Another good point to make here: I can't help people, especially girls, with their emotional troubles. I let her best friend take care of that and eventually I got them laughing. But the real implication of the story is that we saw skylar at a mcdonalds(before the part a week or two)(she wanted my little pony toys, we're both bronys) we saw her and we were with one of her guy friends she made through skylar, The guy friend was like "dude i love skylar" and she was like " I used to"...This is not a new statement to me. This is like the 5th time I had heard it while hanging out with her. I don't like to feel like I'm dating someone who just needs a replacement for her ex-bf, or subconsciously is using me as one. Back to the text.
So I said I feel like I'm the sequal to the Ex-bf and she replied "You're not the sequel to my ex bf. We can have a wonderful relationship together of our own. You're mine, so imma treat you like a prince." It's too bad I deleted all our previous texts yesterday on a whim, because the way she comforted me deserves to be written down somewhere so I can use it. That said, I feel this was a mistake in my book, besides that I shouldn't be feeling that way, I don't think it's attractive to do what I did and act put off.
So starts the last week, monday-thursday for now. I wanted to go eat with her(it's kinda become a habit over the week since we both really don't have time to hang out) but she was busy. On tuesday we were gonna go to robeks but she made herself dinner and promised me that we'd go to panera wed or thurs. While on wed we established we'd both be busy allll dayyy. On thurs she decided to go to the boys tennis match(her ex bf is on that, but she has really good relationship with the tennis coach, since she is a star tennis player, and so thats probably why, but she had been going to the boys tennis a lot lately) After that, she had rehearsal for senior skit night(she can manage sound, and lights, crew stuff. We're not seniors). Luckily for our dinner plans, I had been so tired that I just slept from 3 until 8 pm. So on wed the rehearsal ended at 9 so I figured cool we can go out to panera that I think closes at 10. While she ended up not being done so I went to panera, it was closed, so i went to subway and then home. I hadn't seen her outside of school since that party. Speaking of which sometime on mon-wed I texted her and she said she was depressedish and on sixmillionsecrets (google it) in the love section. I tried to comfort her, but she didnt seem open to it so I just said don't hesitate to talk to me and remember you have me. What bothered me here is that the depressedish was clearly due to her ex-bf.
I reminded her that I was going to the techno dance on friday and she asked if i knew about her and her best friends coffee date.
Me: "No, what is it?"
Her: "After the techno dance, you, me, my best friend, skylar, and another of skylars friends that wants to hook up with my slutty best friend is coming(we will call him chad.) to caribou coffee. And sophie, a girl from a catholic school."
Note: I was kinda perplexed by this, seeing as how it was her ex bf and all. But I deducted(theoretically I was correct) that we were chaperoning her best friend cuz she wants to get sum but not through hanging out alone.
Me: "Was I even invited to this? haha sounds pretty full of a group."
Note: Yeah, I really didn't see how it would be constructive to hang out with her ex bf when I'm her bf.
Her: "No we just created it today"
Me: "Oh. Does he know we're dating/care?"
Her: "He knows. He doesn't care."
Me: " Oh cool. How are things between you and him?"
Note: I obviously knew the answer to that to some extent. But I had the premonition that she and her ex had had some kind of communcation and so I didn't know the full story. The next text is nearly word for word. Really.
Her: "I guess I'm not over him yet? But I'm trying to get him over him with you. You can be part of the process."
OKAY THEN. Laws of dating: Do not date someone who isn't ready to date. They can't have low self confidence. Other rules, I believe unspoken ones: You cannot use new boyfriends to get over old ones, and if your ex-bf comes up in conversation all the time the guy becomes disinterested. Well I thought those thoughts and also simply asked the following, as it's the only part of the text I didn't get.
Me: "How can I be part of the process?"
Her: "By showing me this relationship is worth it? ETC ETC tolerate me when I'm depressed at lunches and something else idk anymore"
Note: I always wondered why at most lunches she really didn't seem that super like herself. There you go. Show her the relationship is worth it? DA FUX!
Me: "That's always been my goal..a worthwhile relationship with a worthwhile person."
She said something and I told her "I miss you. I sent it at this point since I hadn't seen her all week, and it wasn't really a lie. She said "Yeah, we really don't hang out as much as we used to" True, but that is just a product of how busy the past two weeks have been. i said "Yeah we've just been busyer than normal" she said "All our relationship really consists of is school and going out to eat." That's not true! Idk what I replied, I guess something like "Yeah currently." She's like "You need to buck up and take charge in the relationship, because we don't do anything." So I asked her when she was free this weekend(sunday, tormoro currently.) and she said sunday. I told her to keep it open since I wanted to go to the metro parks which have these sweet trails that you can bike on and i just want to go.
So at this point, I just knew that tomorrow would be an interesting gauge of just about everything. It could be a nice little day, or not.
Friday(Yesterday) at the lunch table
General discussion was had. The coffee thing was so her best friend could get some as i predicted. I had decided to act self confident like my single self(my dating self sometimes acts a little more docile, but i figure if I want to show her the relationship is worth it, i have to act like myself. It felt really good. Really good.). Lunch was fun, fun convos were had, she and me weren't lovey dovey but were part of just funny table stuff.
The techno dance and a little before
On the way home from voice. I tried to call her, as typically that is a phone call drive for me, talking to her. She called me back, telling me she was at something, idk. I asked her what I should wear to the techno dance and she said you know something not too casual, which is weird cuz normally she knows exactly what I should wear. She told me she was showering then going to her best friends house and then walking to the techno dance which is very close to that. I told her to call me if she wanted a ride or otherwise so we could meet up and go to the dance together. So i ate dinner and then she hadn't called me so I just chilled in the parking lot of our high school/the techno dance and blasted techno music while I waited for her to call or for me to see them walk by. As a precaution I texted her and her best friend asking "where you at" they didnt answer for like 10 mins and then her best friend said they were already in. So i went in, danced with them a bit, danced with friends from school(I really love dances because they show me who I have a chance with, cuz girls like to dance with me.) They(her and her best best friend) kept leaving the dance floor so when I decided to get a drink I asked them whats up and they told me that they weren't playing any techno music. This was true but I didn't give a fuck. I ended up dancing with this cute white girl and her asian friend, the white girl I knew and they both had flawless skin but dayum that asian was just so cute. They only danced for the one more techno song they played and then just she(my gf) was angry and just bitched around with her best friend about how it sucks. I stayed with them and their anger a bit but I wasn't feeling any techno elitist side to me so I just danced the night through and saw them on occasion. I couldn't believe the amount of bitchiness to exist, calm down it's a dance, but whatever I'll let it slide just like I let slide that you aren't over your ex.
Enter coffee, or the attempt to get skylar(her ex) and Chad(her best friends impending hook-up) and then the rest
So this is after the dance, we were gonna get skylar and chad and then go to caribou and meet sophie. It was 4/20 and I knew they would be high somewhere. Their choice was the woods. My gf and her best friend attempted to contact them but they would respond that you have to find us or not answer. So i just parked and my gf was steamed, really pissed off. She said something about how "He would never do this before" when they were dating obviously. It started to rain and we just parked in a shady place and they came out to the edge of the woods and she claimed skylar and chad should be happy we are coming to get them and get in the car. Eventually they came to the edge of the woods, saying they would run and she and her best friend would have to catch them, and I parked. She and her best friend ran out after them. So I got to chill on Teamliquid for a little while, musing that I can't believe that she would let me see this, how irrational she is being, how she clearly isn't ready to date me, how I wouldn't kiss her if she tryed, how the only reason she wouldn't just want to go to caribou without them clearly is to do with how she isn't over him.
While alone, I tweeted "I guess theres a side of every person I don't want to see, and a side I do."
Eventually they return. They didnt chase them, and she is very pissed. We decide to go caribou. I take the non-highway route cuz it's raining like mother, but I don't neccesarily know the way. They talk about how they are dissapointed, I get to the road they told me to get to but we turn the wrong way since I asked them and they told me the wrong way..I get on the phone with sophie, who instructs me to near the caribou area which I know very well. All the while they are criticizing me, but I try not to think too much of it cuz they are being irrational. The criticism would be like "Why didnt you just take the highway" or"Why didnt you just get to the road(the one that I got to and they told me to go the wrong way). As we got closer, I complained that you can barely see the road when it rains this hard. More criticism. So we get to caribou, I was a little steamed but still my regular self, and caribou is about 3 minutes from closing. I get some hot chocolate, she gets nothing, her best friend and sophie get something and me and sophie talk about normal shit. we then decide to go taco bell. I drive with just her in the car and she says shes sorry for not talking but if she does she would cry. DA FUX? you are so not over him and why should I have to deal with this. At taco bell I just talk nonchalantly and her best friend describes how her cat is her best friend and it's some of the funniest shit ever.
" When I'm taking a shower, my cat comes in and watches me, because he loves my body regardless. When I'm trying to sleep, my cat comes and punches me in the face. Because friends keep other friends up."
It was good and she was laughing even. I noticed that both she and her best friend are texting skylar at this point, bitching him out. Gewd, very gewd. I drop off my gf first and then drive around with her best friend. her best friend tells me that since She had a relationship so late in her life relatively she doesn't understand them. I tell her best friend that I wouldn't mind a break since she needs to get over skylar and im not part of that equation. She cautions me against it and tells me she feels like I don't care. I drop her best friend off.
I don't care? Please. I can't show compassion to you being sad about your ex boyfriend. If it's something else, im sure it's weird girl reasons. But really, thats what she thinks? wow.
So I'm feeling like and I'm hoping she feels like we should break up, or take a break. Because this relationship is bullshit in my mind.
Now I have the texts. So I tell you the conversation that I had before I went to bed.
Her: "A birdie tells me ur upset"
Me(as i send this I receive another text from her, so this is never responded to): "Im not upset"
Her: "If you wana talk about it now its ok. But if youd rather discuss it tomorrow thats fine. We should just make sure we communicate the issue soon ok- ? Im sorry I was kinda bitchy tonight. Just, kinda rough night for me. Sowwie"
Me: "Hmmm. Tomorow. Lemme sleep on it so I don't do anything stupid."
I really feel that us talking about it can lead to nothing but me breaking up with her or taking a break until shes over skylar, which is really the same thing. I was just gonna do it yesterday but I decided against not sleeping on it.
I sleep for 11 hours, wake up, and write this blog.
Today we technically are sposed to talk. I still feel more obligated towards a break even though tomoro we were sposed to hang out. TL, I want to know what you think on where I stand and what I can do and what I should do. If you feel anything is left out of the story or have questions, ask away.
TL;DR
+ Show Spoiler +
Just kidding. You have to read the story.
So we just talked. I explained to her my feelings about what the night shows, she confessed she doesn't really know how to deal with her emotions and she should ask her best friend for advice, I told her one day if there still is an attraction then we can date again when she's mentally in the right place. All your advice turned out great(not that it wasnt what I was already thinking) and I feel really good about it.
