Like the title says I been having some roommate problems recently. I been doing my best to just keep out of his way but finally I cannot take it anymore..
This whole year he's been complaining to me about various things I have that smell. I eat korean food on a daily basis(I'm korean)and rice+kimchi is a must for every meal(along with other side dishes)but those two absolutely must be there. So the first problem comes with the kimchi. He's saying the smell comes through his a/c's vent even though he shut it because of the smell(he says it still comes through). So he asks me if I can shut my vent too every single time I eat.
Another is, I have korean food like bulgogi inside ziploc bags and I throw the bulgogi in a bowl, heat it in microwave then eat it. I throw the ziploc bag away. However, the ziploc bag has some leftover bulgogi juice and after a couple days it starts to rot like any other food u throw away. So he complains about that too how the trashcan smells and that I need to rinse the ziploc bag with water every time before i throw it away.
He also once mentioned that my soon dubu soup smelled like fish(even though there's not a hint of fish in that soup)and that my room smells like food and I should vacuum it.
Two days ago, he put pinesol in my toilet. I had to hurry and catch the bus so after I got on I texted him. "Did you use my bathroom?" and he replied "of course not. your bathroom is very dirty and the smell reeks into my bedroom. i threw pinesol on it to ease the smell"
Before I left for spring break couple weeks ago, I cleaned some of the bathroom floor and around the cracks and corners and also around my sink. I didn't have time to clean the toilet. So he put a towel under the door crack so the smell wouldn't come to his side of the bathroom. I don't know how he handles going to the men's public bathroom cuz half the time they smell too but u just learn to ignore it.
I've had 4 non-asian roommates and they never complained to me about kimchi smell going through the vent or nothing about this bathroom thing. I would have to flip my life around and not eat korean food and clean my room and bathroom everyday so it smells minty fresh for him.
And I realize the bathroom is my fault but it's just all his complaining about everything that's adding up and its driving me crazy. And it goes beyond the kimchi + trashcan + bathroom. He just keeps on complaining about other stuff too.
He really may just have a sensitive nose. Things like closing your vent before you eat, cleaning out the ziploc bag (trash not taken out for 2 days? :O) shouldn't be a big deal. If he's sensitive smells, be sensitive to that fact and try to clean any smells you make.
I think you're overreacting a bit. I don't really feel like it's too hard to do most of the things that he asks you to do.
Shutting the vents isn't a huge demand, and neither is preventing the trash can from having rotting juice in it by washing the bag. Each of these will take you like.... 15-20 seconds?
And for cleaning the toilet? Let's say 30 minutes a week.
I don't think he's trying to give you a hard time... I feel like his current list of demands is reasonable
make him hang an air freshner over the vent or something sounds likes hes really overreacting and you two should have a conversation about your problems and see if its possible for you two to keep living together
maybe try some compromises like rinse your bags if he stops complaining about the kimchi and stuff like that
Should probably try and compromise the best you can. Seems like you are both blowing it out of proportion to me. Coming to an agreement that wont exactly "flip your life around."
If you can't do without Korean food tell him how often you are willing to clean the bathroom and take out the trash. Maybe 2 or 3 times a week if you can't do it once a day.
I would really just talk to him and try to come to an agreement that you can both accept even if its not perfect. Its only gonna get worst if you let it stew.
On April 20 2012 12:24 klibrt wrote: Um.. kimchi.. smells.. a lot. Not many non-Asians like it... And dang.. you a fob? kimichi and bab everyday/meal? :O
I realize this but I take it to my room, close my door, he has his vent closed, the kimchi container is open for 20~ minutes while i eat then it's closed again. But it still somehow goes through the vent. That is what I don't understand. I never had this problem with any of my previous roommates before. I mean it must be quite severe to him if hes closing his a/c vent and putting a towel in the crack under the door.
I just cannot continue living with him knowing that hes suffering like that and I have to make changes to keep him happy.
The pine sol in the toilet is the start to passive-aggressive warfare. Start using his toothbrush to scrub the toilet, ejaculating into his shampoo, and eating all his food (since he hates the smell of yours). Also, start making shitloads of noise/inviting people over at night, cooking/eating when he's trying to sleep, and playing obnoxious music (kpop?) way too loudly.
Either that or admit to yourself that you're fucking dirty and clean up after yourself. I shouldn't be surprised/disgusted that some people use public restroom's cleanliness standards for their own personal ones. but i am. rotting meat juice in the trashcan? god damn
Its called living with other people and it won't work unless you put some effort into it.
Clean your zip-lock bags Close your vent Clean your washroom
You should be doing these things even if you lived alone. You should definitely be doing these things if you live with anybody with reasonable household standards.
Part of growing up is ideally becoming sensitive to the expectations of others and fulfilling those expectations where possible. The inconvenience to you in this particular situation is negligible and will in fact improve the quality of your living.
On April 20 2012 12:30 MaRiNe23 wrote: I just cannot continue living with him knowing that hes suffering like that and I have to make changes to keep him happy.
I believe this is the underlying problem with your situation.
Kimchi smells bad to people who don't love to eat it. A LOT of people don't like pickled things. Pretty sure it's your fault for all the smells that are uninviting. or maybe ask him to cut off his nose.
On April 20 2012 12:35 Ximeng wrote: Its called living with other people and it won't work unless you put some effort into it.
Clean your zip-lock bags Close your vent Clean your washroom
You should be doing these things even if you lived alone. You should definitely be doing these things if you live with anybody with reasonable household standards.
Part of growing up is ideally becoming sensitive to the expectations of others and fulfilling those expectations where possible. The inconvenience to you in this particular situation is negligible and will in fact improve the quality of your living.
On April 20 2012 12:30 MaRiNe23 wrote: I just cannot continue living with him knowing that hes suffering like that and I have to make changes to keep him happy.
I believe this is the underlying problem with your situation.
After some thought I pretty much agree with everything you said. It's gonna be hard for me to suddenly make all these changes from my old lifestyle but I'ma try to start by at least cleaning the toilet.
I just wrote this cuz when he does things that annoys me sometimes, I just learn to live with it or work around it and try not to make a big deal out of it. I mean i have a friend that's saudi arabian and when I go to his house there is a certain smell I'm not used to or fond of but my nose eventually gets used to the smell and life goes on.
After some thought I pretty much agree with everything you said. It's gonna be hard for me to suddenly make all these changes from my old lifestyle but I'ma try to start by at least cleaning the toilet.
I just wrote this cuz when he does things that annoys me sometimes, I just learn to live with it or work around it and try not to make a big deal out of it. I mean i have a friend that's saudi arabian and when I go to his house there is a certain smell I'm not used to or fond of but my nose eventually gets used to the smell and life goes on.
edit: thank u for ur post btw
No problem mate. Took me a while to learn this myself about 2 years ago when my wife moved in with me full time. As soon as I adapted, and it took about 2 months, things have been rosy ever since.
Yeah, just fyi, in case it isn't clear... I've been to houses of Korean people and on occasion I literally can't be within 5-10 feet when the fridge is opened with kimchi in it. It's seriously a horrendous smell to anyone who's not used to it.. x.x I know korean people cant even smell it but it's god awful. Seems like he's slightly overreacting but I can't imagine the smells being pleasant.
O_o dem Koreans are dumb. There's something called a kimchi refrigerator that a lot of people get :D. Used for only kimchi basically 'cuz that shit stinks up your fridge and stays there. My friend had some in his dorm some time ago... that kimchi smell.. never went away LOL
EDIT: PUPATREE is correct. You don't want to have a passive-aggressive roommate. My brother went through that in for a semester when he was in a dorm with 3 other white kids that were sophomores.
Lol i have a friend who's rooming with 3 white guys and they don't fucking clean their dishes or w.e. they use to cook. Fucking smells death every time i go to his dorm.
The meat in the bag thing is pretty easy to deal with. Just rinse the bag before you throw it away. Dunno about kimchi though. Never found the smell to be terrible. It's not particularly great smelling but I don't find it horrible either.
Just as a sidenote: The whole problem of that ziploc bag smelling in the trash can after a couple of days shouldn't exist in the first place because you shouldn't have your kitchen trash can filled with leftovers of food for several days. Empty that thing at least every second day man (this obviously goes for your roomie too).
Marine23 my guess is that you are pretty unkempt. Get your act together and clean your shit. I am going batshit crazy living with my girlfriend's family as their standard of hygiene is below what I deem "liveable".
Just to reiterate, you are most likely in the wrong here and you should actively take steps to control your Korean odor. ___Just because people in the past haven't brought it up does not mean it wasn't an issue.___
I applaud your roommate because few people have the balls to actively complain about what pisses them off.
The bathroom is your fault though, I don't keep my bathroom 100% clean all the time but it should not ever smell -_-
I would draw the line on the food though, I'm sure there are food that he likes that you are not very fond of. What's with this guy, he doesn't eat any soup or hot food or anything? anything cooked will smell, if it doesn't then something is wrong with the cooking -_-
This reminds me a lot of the situation a friend of mine is in.
He lives in a dorm and has to share a bathroom and hallway with a roommate, but they both have their own separate rooms. So my friend is a smoker and naturally the other guy is constantly complaining that he is "harming his health" and everything smells. He had never ever smoked in their shared room (where it isn't allowed) and always closed his door. Because of the constant complaining (several times a day when he's there - the guy also filed a few formal complaints but my friend was given right) he's already only smoking with his window open, STICKING HIS HEAD OUT and does not store anything he owns (that might smell - like clothes) in their shared rooms.
Guess what, his roommate still harasses him constantly about it (also did that towel thing lol).
Soon the semester is over and my friend will live somewhere else because the situation is that unbearable.
I have lived together with 3 people, mostly different ones every year, for 3 years now and there always will be things you don't like: One is still cranking the heater up mid april and has a gf who has the habit of waking me up in the morning by whistling . The other one always leaves the kitchen in a mess but does not acknowledge it is her. One girl always gets on my nerves when she is bored (she is bored a lot). Another girl I had living here was obsessed with cleaning and used to wake me up at 4am by bringing drunk people in our house to eat pasta, often several times a week. I could go on...
Point is, there are always thing you don't like and you just gotta accept that and move on. If you have zero tolerance get an apartment on your own. I have yet to find someone who doesn't have at least one thing that bothers me a bit, but that's how people are and i'm not really mad at them for it.
OP if your bathroom stinks you should clean it. There is really not that much to it and takes an hour once a week max. I guess you are used to your mum doing it but those times are over my friend
About the food. Some food smells some doesnt but what you can do is not throwing left over food into your garbage bin and let it rot there for several days, it is pretty disgusting and attracts flies.
Your roommate is probably overreacting a bit but you are used to the smell of Kimchi and other korean food while your roommate is not. It's the same like garlic, people who ate it cant smell it anymore but everybody else will.
So you got two choices, try to get your roommate to eat some korean food with you or bring out the leftovers after you ate.
and opening windows helps too I heard. An AC does not produce fresh air
Nah dude its clearly not working you guys are just too different u can try and patch things up buts its a temporarily solution just find a new place its much for fun to live with people u can talk to have some fun
On April 20 2012 12:24 klibrt wrote: Um.. kimchi.. smells.. a lot. Not many non-Asians like it... And dang.. you a fob? kimichi and bab everyday/meal? :O
Lol, my thoughts exactly. Rice I can understand, but kimchi every meal? Don't you get tired of it? Learn to make fried rice, miso soup, chili, curry, spagetthi, etc. These are all pretty easy things to make....
On April 20 2012 19:07 MaGariShun wrote: This reminds me a lot of the situation a friend of mine is in.
He lives in a dorm and has to share a bathroom and hallway with a roommate, but they both have their own separate rooms. So my friend is a smoker and naturally the other guy is constantly complaining that he is "harming his health" and everything smells. He had never ever smoked in their shared room (where it isn't allowed) and always closed his door. Because of the constant complaining (several times a day when he's there - the guy also filed a few formal complaints but my friend was given right) he's already only smoking with his window open, STICKING HIS HEAD OUT and does not store anything he owns (that might smell - like clothes) in their shared rooms.
Guess what, his roommate still harasses him constantly about it (also did that towel thing lol).
Soon the semester is over and my friend will live somewhere else because the situation is that unbearable.
I just remembered something else from your post. He also complained about his sink smelling like "smoke" the first week he moved in.
...and I renewed my lease with my current roommate for another year before it got this bad t.t.
On April 20 2012 19:23 Skilledblob wrote: I guess you are used to your mum doing it but those times are over my friend
This exactly lol. I was never taught how and my mom just did it along with other housework. I didn't wanna put in my OP that I didn't know how to clean a toilet. I would be expecting pages of flame and how I should learn. I acutally have to call my mom soon to learn how.
Honestly, he sounds like a complete asshole. I'm sure if you asked around you would hear an endless number of roommate horror stories. Smelly food and a slightly unkept bathroom is seriously nothing to complain about. The fact that you actually care about his absurd complaints and even took the time to clean up your bathroom makes you sound like a great roommate to me.
On April 20 2012 12:34 PUPATREE wrote: The pine sol in the toilet is the start to passive-aggressive warfare.
On April 20 2012 12:24 klibrt wrote: Um.. kimchi.. smells.. a lot. Not many non-Asians like it... And dang.. you a fob? kimichi and bab everyday/meal? :O
Lol, my thoughts exactly. Rice I can understand, but kimchi every meal? Don't you get tired of it? Learn to make fried rice, miso soup, chili, curry, spagetthi, etc. These are all pretty easy things to make....
Dude, I eat saurkraut all the time. Hotdogs/brauts/grilled food gotta have some on there, probably just my extremely german heritage lol. Granted every meal might be a bit over the top, but he shouldn't have his roommate dictating what he can and cannot eat.
On April 20 2012 19:23 Skilledblob wrote: I guess you are used to your mum doing it but those times are over my friend
This exactly lol. I was never taught how and my mom just did it along with other housework. I didn't wanna put in my OP that I didn't know how to clean a toilet. I would be expecting pages of flame and how I should learn. I acutally have to call my mom soon to learn how.
Get something like this:
Pour a bunch in the bowl, after 10+ minutes scrub the inside bowl with:
Then use a sponge with hot water + the comet bleach stuff around the rest of the toilet.
On April 21 2012 05:39 TheToast wrote: Honestly, he sounds like a complete asshole. I'm sure if you asked around you would hear an endless number of roommate horror stories. Smelly food and a slightly unkept bathroom is seriously nothing to complain about. The fact that you actually care about his absurd complaints and even took the time to clean up your bathroom makes you sound like a great roommate to me.
This is why I made this blog. I was wondering if I'm in the wrong or if hes just blowing things outta proportion. He complains about every little thing that isn't clean or smells even a little bit. The vent thing still surprises me though becuz we each have our doors closed and his a/c vent is closed. It's not like im anywhere near him when i eat.
I bought some clorox stuff and pour it around my toilet then scrubbed it with the sponge and letting it sit for 10 minutes now. I also sprayed a differnt clorox spray for surfaces on the exterior of my toilet and the floor around it and wiped it clean.
But I really don't think I can take much more of this. The manager wasn't in the office today but I gave them my number so they can call me when she gets in. I'm gonna try and see if there's any way I can go back on my renewal with him.
Anyways i did my part and cleaned the bathroom so just gonna try to stay outta his way till he ccomplains about something else agian..
i am so glad i never ever have to have a room mate again beyond a single woman, it's never worth it unless you're both on the same wave length about everything involving living with someone
On April 21 2012 09:50 Divinek wrote: i am so glad i never ever have to have a room mate again beyond a single woman, it's never worth it unless you're both on the same wave length about everything involving living with someone
And kids! Don't forget the kids. I just ruined your day didn't I? :D
On April 21 2012 05:39 TheToast wrote: Honestly, he sounds like a complete asshole. I'm sure if you asked around you would hear an endless number of roommate horror stories. Smelly food and a slightly unkept bathroom is seriously nothing to complain about. The fact that you actually care about his absurd complaints and even took the time to clean up your bathroom makes you sound like a great roommate to me.
Dude, I eat saurkraut all the time. Hotdogs/brauts/grilled food gotta have some on there, probably just my extremely german heritage lol. Granted every meal might be a bit over the top, but he shouldn't have his roommate dictating what he can and cannot eat.
Sorry for bumping this but I just got done talking to my mom and she got really mad about the kimchi thing. Her basic point was that if he wants to close his vent that's fine. It's his room. But for him to also control my a/c vent is going over the top and that I shouldn't have to live uncomfortably like that. She said I been too nice to him giving him rides to grocery stores and stuff cuz he has no car, taking all his complaints, while i try hard to keep him happy. I cleaned the bathroom today, i had to force myself to get in the habit of closing the bathroom door cuz he wants it closed and among many other things.
She said that how can he expect me who's been eating korean food all his life to just give it up cuz my roommate says it smells??
I mean I'm sure there are some ppl out there that dont agree with my mom but i feel like things are only gonna get worse if this continues. This smell thing is a pretty big issue and if we cant solve it, i dont think we can live with each other.
EPT
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