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Canada1551 Posts
Hello Hello Poetry Of Social Judgement
My name is Borz
Its actually Al-Borz
People have a tough time with my name, but thats alright.
People ask me, why you say? or how you say? thats all thought.
Ok, listen here. Its just like this. I love you. Your my human and im your human.
We are in this together and judgement is a big fear.
Sometimes I compliment my thoughts for my dear.
My dearest is closet to me than my near.
SO I write free flow to get them by my ear.
But what is it to me if you hear?
I have nothing to give but my share.
In farsi, share means song.
So I tell you, listen to this chong.
I talk truth, and write rhythm.
FOr your mind, and my mind to prism.
Peak to the altitude, touch base, and shoot for gold.
We go higher an higher, taking the world.
We go higher and higher, touching the soil.
Its a vertical, dimensional, prism.
No limits, but those of fear induced jism.
Touch the sky, and see that there is no sky, but your imagination, bring you by.
Ego boost full. Mission complete. I am better than you. So I am defeat.
  
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"fear induced jism"
5/5
Do you speak Farsi?
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Just FYI, I think good poetry puts more emphasis on imagery and metaphor than rhyming.
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On March 24 2012 14:42 jrkirby wrote:
Just FYI, I think good poetry puts more emphasis on imagery and metaphor than rhyming.
agreed;
Ezra Pound said:
That part of your poetry which strikes upon the imaginative eye of the reader will lose nothing by translation into a foreign tongue; that which appeals to the ear can reach only those who take it in the original.
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Very fckin sick man 5/5!!!!!!!
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Canada1551 Posts
HAHA thank you everyone. Thank you. Yes, I speak Farsi. Baleh dadash. Lol I really like you guys 
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Canada1551 Posts
On March 24 2012 14:42 jrkirby wrote:
Just FYI, I think good poetry puts more emphasis on imagery and metaphor than rhyming.
Thanks. Ill remember this. Yea.. It turned into a rap LOL <3
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Canada1551 Posts
On March 24 2012 15:56 cmen15 wrote:
Very fckin sick man 5/5!!!!!!!
Thanks bro. re-reading it I truly appreciated it haha
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Canada1551 Posts
On March 24 2012 14:36 ohsea.toc wrote:
"fear induced jism"
5/5
Do you speak Farsi?
Thanks haha yes I do, do you?
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Canada1551 Posts
On March 24 2012 14:14 Isolath wrote:
I'm confused. :/
Confusion is ok haha
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On March 24 2012 17:23 Alborz wrote:Show nested quote +On March 24 2012 14:36 ohsea.toc wrote:
"fear induced jism"
5/5
Do you speak Farsi? Thanks haha yes I do, do you?
I speak Arabic but no, not Farsi.
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On March 24 2012 17:21 Alborz wrote:Show nested quote +On March 24 2012 14:42 jrkirby wrote:
Just FYI, I think good poetry puts more emphasis on imagery and metaphor than rhyming. Thanks. Ill remember this. Yea.. It turned into a rap LOL <3
Good hip-hop tends to be a mix of both, I say focus on imagery first and then try to make it rhyme.
From one beat to another.
Beat being used as an antonym to deadbeat. :D
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It is possible to record u saying this? i dont have a very good poet voice or like the know how to ready poetry out loud, so when i read it in my head it sounds dull T_T, its very intresting i think it would sound much better if i could hear u say it. Good Job man, i actully like the imagery in the poem but i just suck at poetry T_T
edit: tempo its tempo i dont know the tempo at which to read it, thats what i was trying to say, lol, sry just remembered the word for it.
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I don't mean to be a debbie-downer or a negative-nancy, but this poem is bad on so many levels...
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EPT
