On March 05 2012 16:37 GertHeart wrote: "GO TO YOUR ROOM, GO TO YOUR ROOM."
Should have screamed "I HATE YOU, I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN" and slammed the door.
He actually ended up slamming my door, also his dog was afraid to approach him, I had to carry his dog out for him calmly, it kept running back into my room over and over. In AZ slamming a door is considered Domestic Violence.
He must be really unpleasant to live with. He'll probably calm down tomorrow but if he ends up kicking you out at least you won't have to live with him anymore. I know that's cold comfort if you don't have anywhere else to go though.
On March 05 2012 17:48 Azzur wrote: He shouldn't explode on to you like that, but I feel sorry for him. Actually, you are wrong - child support is a very punishing thing on an individual.
I don't see where the OP said anything that goes against that notion.
On March 05 2012 17:48 Azzur wrote: He shouldn't explode on to you like that, but I feel sorry for him. Actually, you are wrong - child support is a very punishing thing on an individual.
What happens is that a judge will mandate a certain amount of child support. If the man's circumstances change (e.g. getting disabled), the amount of money needed to be paid doesn't decrease. The authorities come hunting for people in such situations because the amount of revenue they get depends on the amount of money they manage to collect. This is why they don't care about child custody violations (because they get no money) but are so stringent on child support.
Such a situation is enough to drive people insane.
The child support issue wasn't regarding him. But he had to do it in the past, but he is 65 years old and his youngest son is older than even me.(I am 26)
On March 05 2012 16:37 GertHeart wrote: "GO TO YOUR ROOM, GO TO YOUR ROOM."
Should have screamed "I HATE YOU, I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN" and slammed the door.
He actually ended up slamming my door, also his dog was afraid to approach him, I had to carry his dog out for him calmly, it kept running back into my room over and over. In AZ slamming a door is considered Domestic Violence.
He must be really unpleasant to live with. He'll probably calm down tomorrow but if he ends up kicking you out at least you won't have to live with him anymore. I know that's cold comfort if you don't have anywhere else to go though.
On March 05 2012 17:48 Azzur wrote: He shouldn't explode on to you like that, but I feel sorry for him. Actually, you are wrong - child support is a very punishing thing on an individual.
I don't see where the OP said anything that goes against that notion.
I'm merely enlightening the OP on how difficult it is (from the writing, the OP thinks it's not that bad).
Money talks. If he's paying your rent so you guys don't get evicted, he can do whatever he wants as far as I'm concerned. You don't pay, you don't live there... kinda simple.
On March 05 2012 16:37 GertHeart wrote: "GO TO YOUR ROOM, GO TO YOUR ROOM."
Should have screamed "I HATE YOU, I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN" and slammed the door.
He actually ended up slamming my door, also his dog was afraid to approach him, I had to carry his dog out for him calmly, it kept running back into my room over and over. In AZ slamming a door is considered Domestic Violence.
He must be really unpleasant to live with. He'll probably calm down tomorrow but if he ends up kicking you out at least you won't have to live with him anymore. I know that's cold comfort if you don't have anywhere else to go though.
On March 05 2012 17:48 Azzur wrote: He shouldn't explode on to you like that, but I feel sorry for him. Actually, you are wrong - child support is a very punishing thing on an individual.
I don't see where the OP said anything that goes against that notion.
I'm merely enlightening the OP on how difficult it is (from the writing, the OP thinks it's not that bad).
It's not about thinking it is very bad. I had no intention of making it a better or worse thing, I just was simply stating that the laws are different from state to state in the US, which they are.
He'll probably have calmed down by tomorrow, try speaking to him then, and be sure to admit to him that you were wrong, even if you weren't.
If you do end up getting kicked out however, ask friends or parents if there's a possibility that you could stay there for a little while while you find a new place where you can live. And even if you do end up staying, starting to look for a new place would probably be a good idea, since you never know how long it'll be until he wants to kick you out again.
On March 05 2012 16:37 GertHeart wrote: "GO TO YOUR ROOM, GO TO YOUR ROOM."
Should have screamed "I HATE YOU, I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN" and slammed the door.
He actually ended up slamming my door, also his dog was afraid to approach him, I had to carry his dog out for him calmly, it kept running back into my room over and over. In AZ slamming a door is considered Domestic Violence.
He must be really unpleasant to live with. He'll probably calm down tomorrow but if he ends up kicking you out at least you won't have to live with him anymore. I know that's cold comfort if you don't have anywhere else to go though.
On March 05 2012 17:48 Azzur wrote: He shouldn't explode on to you like that, but I feel sorry for him. Actually, you are wrong - child support is a very punishing thing on an individual.
I don't see where the OP said anything that goes against that notion.
I'm merely enlightening the OP on how difficult it is (from the writing, the OP thinks it's not that bad).
Poor choice of words there, he never actually said he thought it was not that bad and their argument had nothing to do with that, saying that he is wrong is, wrong.
You'll be ok hopefully, it'll be a tough patch but you'll come out better for it. And hey: hey's an insane old geezer without legs. Your life's a lot better than him. If he thinks being old and disabled is license to be an ungrateful dick, fuck it. Let him live or die alone and miserable.
You seem like a nice person, if you're being honest. I'm sure someone else will want to live with you.
HOWEVER, if you do want to continue living there despite everything, the nature of the relationship has to change. You can't be a doormat. Straight up tell him: "you think you'll find some other sucker willing to do all this shit for free? Either I walk out right now and you can shell out for a full time nurse, you old cunt, or you shut the fuck up and we pretend this never happened."
Hey, if he's kicking you out, this will at least let you leave with the last word.
First off, he is in the right to kick you out I think if you are behind in rent.
Second, he sounds like a really unpleasant individual, and I think you would be better off finding a different place to live.
But that might be hard on short notice, so I would try to start looking immediately, and apologize to him even if he was wrong.
Simply put, if he is acting that way, nothing can be gained from waiting and hoping he 'sees you were right and he was wrong' ... but it won't be pleasant living there either. So, do both.
as people have stated most likely it was a sensitive point for him. maybe he got fucked over. it could be connected to all kinds of things. he might have some pent-up rage from feeling disabled and helpless, having to receive so much care from his environment and this was just the trigger. was there nothing at all leading up to this point? sorry bro but it seems a bit weird. there must have been smth.
i dunno, you should probably talk to him when he's calmed down. do you like your roomie? you've not said anything about what you personally think about him which probably is the most important point. if you like living there normally, go talk to him, straighten things out, ask why he was so mad and if he still wants you to move.
besides, helping him out 40-60 hrs/month is probably not the best thing if you're behind in rent unless you've some sort of agreement. get another job instead and let him sort his disability out himself. get your shit together first and then worry about others.
even if you are the nicest person in the world there are gonna be people that dont like you, the question is, do you want him to be reasonable? or do you want to survive? if you want to survive fake "beg" him, apologizes, cry, do whatever necessary to stay a couple of days more until you find a place, but if you dont want to be an "hypocrite", well good luck with your situation, life is not fair, the world is not fair, honest people get fucked up by bad people all the time, been "honest" to him is probably gonna get you in the streets.
To the people saying he has the right to kick him out because he's behind $20 in rent: yeah, sure he does technically but 1) with the insane amount of help the OP provides for this guy for free, that's completely barbaric to do such a thing over an insignificant amount. 2) that's not even the reason for him getting kicked out. the reason is clearly because of the stupid argument. he's abusing his power by kicking him out because he didn't have a solid response to visible facts.
Anyway, it looks like you're best off getting out of there anyway. You can't take a bus back home to stay with your parents until you find a new place or something?
On March 05 2012 19:45 Grobyc wrote: To the people saying he has the right to kick him out because he's behind $20 in rent: yeah, sure he does technically but 1) with the insane amount of help the OP provides for this guy for free, that's completely barbaric to do such a thing over an insignificant amount. 2) that's not even the reason for him getting kicked out. the reason is clearly because of the stupid argument. he's abusing his power by kicking him out because he didn't have a solid response to visible facts.
Anyway, it looks like you're best off getting out of there anyway. You can't take a bus back home to stay with your parents until you find a new place or something?
On March 05 2012 16:37 GertHeart wrote: "GO TO YOUR ROOM, GO TO YOUR ROOM."
Should have screamed "I HATE YOU, I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN" and slammed the door.
Family is in WA, I am in AZ, a bus is not viable. a plane ticket is not viable. I only kept 3 dollars to myself for bus fare to an interview and back when I'd get one, everywhere else I walk. And waiting and trying to setup and interview to get a job. It's getting late now, and well I have been looking for another option, i already had to pawn my PS3 and collection of 150+ games PS2/3, and it was an MGS PS3 backwards compatible =/ the expensive one. Sigh.
I don't get why there was an argument in the first place. You clearly overdid it with insisting on "pulling the facts up on the computer" when he clearly wasn't interested in facts.
Young, succesful people who are honest all the time often come of as smart asses and he clearly would've like to make a point about being right with something he has experience in (paying child support).
Doesn't matter now though. If I were you, I'd wait until he has calmed down and tell him that you're sorry for coming of as a smart ass. Don't suck up to him. Also tell him that you know that you're behind in rent, and have been trying to make up for it by helping him out.
You guys live together and you need to come to an agreement. You need to tell him what he can do and what he can't do with you. Maybe if you man up and talk it through you can solve this. Otherwise call your parents and get on a bus home or crash at a friends place.
EPT
