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Have you seen a peahen? Peahens are female peacocks, though they bear no resemblance to their famous mate whatsoever, being small, shorttailed and a drab brown color. It's the male of the species that is far more gaudy.
One may wonder why would the peacock have such a large, colorful and cumbersome tail?. Wouldn't it make him far more vulnerable to predators? The answer is that it does! And it is precisely that fact that attracts the peahen; he can still survive in the jungle despite this handicap, so he must be a strong yet agile fellow and thus a worthy mate.
The emperor's crown serves the same purpose: he shows his status by proclaiming "Look! I can wear such a large, heavy and useless object because everyone else is here to protect me," thereby he is obviously the most important person around.
If we observe carefully, we can see this principle of "negative signalling" all around us. Look at girls who write blogs or post online. Many girls like to proclaim "I have bad temper/I'm a princess/I'm not easy to take care of." One would expect people to tend to hide their weaknesses online, yet they do not. The reason for this is simple - it is in fact a form of bragging that "despite my bad temper there is still a man (or many men) ready to take care of me and love me. I must be very desirable!"
Of course, the female of the species is not the only one using this tactic. Many men strut around proclaiming "I'm a bad boy" or "I'm a heartbreaker". This is meant to show that "despite my playboy tendencies I'm charming enough to make tons of girls fall for me". Personally I find this even more hilarious than the female version due to its lack of subtlety.
No one would ever self-proclaim a real weakness on the dating market, eg:
Men:
I'm not very smart and have zero ambition
I'm a big coward
My dick is less than two inches in length
Women:
My boobs are padded with multiple layers and I need a ton of makeup every morning to look presentable
(other variations on the same theme)
So when someone proclaims a weakness in public, it is very often negative signalling.
 
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Regardless of whether this is true or not, it's fucking stupid.
The only reason this works in the peacock world is because both parties "understand" it. If some girl told me she had a bad temper, I would tell her to keep it to herself. See ya missy, you can keep your temper cause I can't be bothered dealing with that shit.
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lots of times if this happens irl and not the internet. OMG theres a difference. obviouslly shes signalling that she likes you.
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What the fuck with it? I'm struggling like crazy to derive any meaning from this post. And the peacock example is totally baseless.
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so how exactly does this help us?
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On March 02 2012 15:10 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
so how exactly does this help us?
What makes you think you're so important 
But seriously, it's simpler than that. Human interaction 101:
Girl tells the world that she's sad -> World reacts by validating the living shit out of her -> She received attention
So, what can we make out of that? Girls will do things to get attention. It's all a big ole' mating thing 24/7.
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On March 02 2012 15:18 Djzapz wrote:What makes you think you're so important But seriously, it's simpler than that. Human interaction 101: Girl tells the world that she's sad -> World reacts by validating the living shit out of her -> She received attention So, what can we make out of that? Girls will do things to get attention. It's all a big ole' mating thing 24/7.
Boy tells the world that he's sad --> World reacts by validating the living shit out of him -> He received attention
So, what can we make out of that? Boys will do things to get attention. It's all a big ole' mating thing 24/7.
See what I did there? Of all the attention whores I know, they're pretty much equally split between guys and girls with a slight leaning towards guys this year.
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On March 02 2012 15:25 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +On March 02 2012 15:18 Djzapz wrote:On March 02 2012 15:10 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
so how exactly does this help us? What makes you think you're so important But seriously, it's simpler than that. Human interaction 101: Girl tells the world that she's sad -> World reacts by validating the living shit out of her -> She received attention So, what can we make out of that? Girls will do things to get attention. It's all a big ole' mating thing 24/7. Boy tells the world that he's sad --> World reacts by validating the living shit out of him -> He received attention So, what can we make out of that? Boys will do things to get attention. It's all a big ole' mating thing 24/7. See what I did there? Of all the attention whores I know, they're pretty much equally split between guys and girls with a slight leaning towards guys this year.
Not impressed.
Boys rarely tell the world that they're sad, they know better. Nobody wants to hear a guy whine. They have to act tough and "cool" - that's how the get validated and that's how they get attention.
You didn't invent anything. As for which gender has more attention whores, I don't know. In real life it's probably 50/50 with guidos and... questionable ladies. On social networking though, I think women take the cake with a landslide.
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so many new english words, need to get my dictionary.
edit: now I get it. tbh I don't see this kind of bragging much. Countrary I see many succesful people trying to look down to earth and saying smth like 'nah, I'm just lucky. I earned all this by accident' or 'I just kicked the ball and somehow scored'.
though I see a lot of bragging by pictures in facebook: "Look at me I'm in Paris", "look at me I'm at luxurous hotel" and so on. that doesn't bother me much. Its like competition (mostly between females, who claim they are friends, but they are not), where everyone tries to surrpass others in terms of "how successful they are".
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It's actually quite simple - when a girl says something (both positive and negative), a bunch of semi-stalker guys will jump in and post something, thus fueling her ego. Remove the attention, and the posts will be gone.
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Meh, this post as an attempt to decode human behaviour is a failure imo.
If we observe carefully, we can see this principle of "negative signalling" all around us. Look at girls who write blogs or post online. Many girls like to proclaim "I have bad temper/I'm a princess/I'm not easy to take care of." One would expect people to tend to hide their weaknesses online, yet they do not. The reason for this is simple - it is in fact a form of bragging that "despite my bad temper there is still a man (or many men) ready to take care of me and love me. I must be very desirable!"
Since when is "I have bad temper/I'm a princess/I'm not easy to take care of." is a WEAKNESS ?? It's not a virtue I admit but it really doesn't fit your theory around "negative signaling".
I can admit that it has bragging in it "I'm cute enough that you have to cope with my shit". It's also a form of challenge.
A weakness would be: "I think I'm ugly"
and loser guy comes around to confort it.
But that doesn't really goes well with your theory, because in this case it's not bragging, it's manipulation.
Of course, the female of the species is not the only one using this tactic. Many men strut around proclaiming "I'm a bad boy" or "I'm a heartbreaker". This is meant to show that "despite my playboy tendencies I'm charming enough to make tons of girls fall for me". Personally I find this even more hilarious than the female version due to its lack of subtlety.
Lol wut ? You really don't get it. It's BECAUSE I am a bad boy, not "despite". Playing the bad boy card 100% means "hey I'm not a pussy, I promise monkey sex and a wild ride".
Im a heartbreaker = I meet a ton of girls, there is a reason for that.
Now. If you want to say that we say things that are not 100% "pure" to convey an implicit message on the intent to sparkle attraction. I agree.
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I really like this blog. It's concise, and talks about real circumstances based on good evidence and well founded logical arguments. And yeah ok it's 'failure of humans' that we propagate these behaviours but really there are things much worse in life to worry about. I think most people with a good head know that something is up with "i'm a heartbreaker" statements, even if they can't put it into nice terms like OP did.
Hopefully more to come?
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South Africa4316 Posts
I actually think you have a point because I do this to some extent (as a guy). I'm not conviced it's always a form of bragging. Generally I don't disguise my weaknesses because feel like I have no reason to. That said, I'm probably more honest about my weaknesses than I need to be which would be explained by your theory :p
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On March 02 2012 16:09 ShinyGerbil wrote:
I really like this blog. It's concise, and talks about real circumstances based on good evidence and well founded logical arguments
This reads like sarcasm but I'm afraid it's not.
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Bitch's may come and go but my boy's remain eternal lolol... not sure why i dropped that line.
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[spoiler]On March 02 2012 14:50 targ wrote:
Have you seen a peahen? Peahens are female peacocks, though they bear no resemblance to their famous mate whatsoever, being small, shorttailed and a drab brown color. It's the male of the species that is far more gaudy.
One may wonder why would the peacock have such a large, colorful and cumbersome tail?. Wouldn't it make him far more vulnerable to predators? The answer is that it does! And it is precisely that fact that attracts the peahen; he can still survive in the jungle despite this handicap, so he must be a strong yet agile fellow and thus a worthy mate.
The emperor's crown serves the same purpose: he shows his status by proclaiming "Look! I can wear such a large, heavy and useless object because everyone else is here to protect me," thereby he is obviously the most important person around.
If we observe carefully, we can see this principle of "negative signalling" all around us. Look at girls who write blogs or post online. Many girls like to proclaim "I have bad temper/I'm a princess/I'm not easy to take care of." One would expect people to tend to hide their weaknesses online, yet they do not. The reason for this is simple - it is in fact a form of bragging that "despite my bad temper there is still a man (or many men) ready to take care of me and love me. I must be very desirable!"
Of course, the female of the species is not the only one using this tactic. Many men strut around proclaiming "I'm a bad boy" or "I'm a heartbreaker". This is meant to show that "despite my playboy tendencies I'm charming enough to make tons of girls fall for me". Personally I find this even more hilarious than the female version due to its lack of subtlety.
No one would ever self-proclaim a real weakness on the dating market, eg:
Men:
I'm not very smart and have zero ambition
I'm a big coward
My dick is less than two inches in length
Women:
My boobs are padded with multiple layers and I need a ton of makeup every morning to look presentable
(other variations on the same theme)
So when someone proclaims a weakness in public, it is very often negative signalling.
Lol. So if this is an evolutionary development, why does this behavior make me like girls less?
Personally I think guys are just taught to keep their emotions internal, while girls are raised up to experience people responding to their emotions.
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I guess I used to do it in class alot, not studying/practicing so as to come off as not needing to. 'Oh I started my essay at midnight, soooo tired' and then still getting a D. Maybe hair styles are similar too? The 'I just rolled out of bed' styled look signals, 'imagine how hot I am when I put in some effort'
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On March 02 2012 17:03 Scarecrow wrote:
I guess I used to do it in class alot, not studying/practicing so as to come off as not needing to. 'Oh I started my essay at midnight, soooo tired' and then still getting a D. Maybe hair styles are similar too? The 'I just rolled out of bed' styled look signals, 'imagine how hot I am when I put in some effort'
Haha I used to do this all the time... "I slept through class, borrowed my friend's notes, and scored higher than he did on the midterm", "I missed over 100 classes winter quarter and still got As", "I probably practice piano a few hours... a week", etc...
Then I realized that no one cares, I'm only hurting myself, and it's okay to be a tryhard. It's funny how sprezzatura (studied nonchalance) seems so desirable, though.
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Yo guys I think I put it a bit too concisely. What I actually mean is something like this:
When I surf the net (yes I have a boring life) and I see female blogs or profiles on dating sites/forums, I tend to see personal statements like "I'm hard to handle and you know it", "I'm a princess, so?" or "Bad-tempered, but my boy still loves me". Although not weaknesses the same way stupidity would be a weakness, I would still regard bad temper or being hard to handle as a negative trait. If you were hiring someone to work in your department and they said they had bad temper and were hard to get along with, would you hire them?
The direct announcing of these bad traits serve as a boast "I'm cute enough so that these don't matter".
I wasn't really referrring to posting emo statuses on Facebook to garner attention.
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Sexual selection is one of the main tenets of evolutionary theory, and phenomena like these exist in the natural order, including our own species. Remember, 'fitness' in the world of evolution describes the ability to survive and reproduce, so if survival is easy, more time can be spent appearing sexually desirable and can actually come at the expense of pure survival traits.
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EPT
