|
sup TL. your friendly neighborhood hydralisk here. I have a problem that's been creeping back into my life and I was wondering if any TLers have any experience with it. my problem is the fact that I'm nervous all the time for no apparent reason, and it's negatively influencing my life. I'll give a little backstory to help you guys make sense of this.
basically, I used to have huge social anxiety problems when I was younger. around 8th grade or so, I developed social anxiety severe enough that I ended up dropping out of public school and doing my classes online. I ended up doing the entirety of high school online, and then started going to actual college because I was sick of not having a social life to speak of. my first year of college was tough (didn't make many friends because I didn't really know how), but during the summer between my freshman and sophomore years, I did a lot of soul searching and self improvement, and it helped me become a pretty social person. because of that, I ended up meeting a lot of new people over the summer and especially during my first semester as a sophomore. right now, I'm in my 2nd semester semester as a sophomore, and here's where the problem arises. my nerves are coming back and I don't know why or how to stop them. I'm uneasy and nervous almost all the time, and I've noticed the only way to get rid of it is to do something that takes my mind off of it. naturally, that's not very easy when I'm sitting in a class listening to a lecture (which is most of the time when I'm in class), so I've been a nervous wreck lately when I'm in class.
I think the nerves are tied to social interaction (just like they were before), but I really don't know why they've come back all of a sudden. I hate feeling this way because it makes me less confident and more reclusive, and I like being more confident and social. if I had to try and pinpoint the reason for my anxiety, I'd say it's centered around leaving my own house (stupid, I know) and going to public places. I try to put on a front and walk tall so people won't notice, but I'm afraid they DO notice and that just makes it worse. overall, I'm just sick and tired of feeling nervous all the time. it's taking the enjoyment out of things I used to love, and I want to be confident and carefree again. here's a list of things I'm already doing to try and fix the problem (incase people were going to suggest them):
1. getting plenty of sleep
2. eating a healthy, well balanced diet (I'm gluten intolerant so I pretty much have to unless I want to get really sick)
3. seeing a psychologist (it's nice to have someone to talk to about this stuff, but it doesn't seem to help much once I leave her office)
4. exercising when I can. it's hard to make time when I'm taking 18 credits + extracurriculars + part time job, but I do it when I have time.
so, that's about it. do any of you have any ideas to deal with these nerves? I feel like going outside and screaming until I can't scream anymore... like that's the only way I can get this nervous energy out.
|
Well something I've heard some people do is every morning you wake up and look into the mirror. An start telling yourself that not only can you be social but you are!! You need to understand that this problem is stuck in your head and you are the only one that can overcome it. I know this is going to sound terrible but have you ever thought of smoking some weed? Yea I know drugs are bad lol but it would for sure calm you down.
|
On March 01 2012 15:46 cmen15 wrote:
Well something I've heard some people do is every morning you wake up and look into the mirror. An start telling yourself that not only can you be social but you are!! You need to understand that this problem is stuck in your head and you are the only one that can overcome it. I know this is going to sound terrible but have you ever thought of smoking some weed? Yea I know drugs are bad lol but it would for sure calm you down.
weed would be nice but I'm broke as fuck enough as it is haha.
|
Has your psychiatrist recommended medication? This sounds somewhat debilitating.
|
I definitely don't think psychologists help very many people, it's just a bunch of talking. I used to have problems similar to yours. I'm a very introverted person so I spend a lot of time thinking about and analyzing everything, but it doesn't cause any problems for me anymore. After I accepted who I was and the fact that everyone is different I got more confident. I started challenging myself everyday to do something that I was slightly uncomfortable with. Just little things like if I'm at a café for instance, I would ask the person behind the counter an extra question, just for the hell of it like "do you bake your own carrot cakes?" and then get a normal answer and realize that it's not a big deal. I'm actually studying to become a teacher, so my schoolwork requires a whole lot of speaking in front of people, which I knew would be a massive problem if I didn't work through my anxiety issues. I started challenging myself in that area as well, I tried looking people in the eyes when talking to them, no matter how awkward it felt, I soon realized it was not a big deal, I started thinking about how my body reacted to talking in front of people and I tried compensating for it by breathing slowly, talking slowly, and not letting my arms flail like a crazy person's and all of these things eventually paid off. When I had experienced the things that I was afraid of, I felt incredibly confident, because I knew that it was rarely a big deal.
|
On March 01 2012 15:49 BottleAbuser wrote:
Has your psychiatrist recommended medication? This sounds somewhat debilitating.
That's the problem with psychiatrists, the make you a fucking addict instead of solving the problem.
|
I was going to give you some advice but now that I think about it I don't think I can really help you, it sounds like it's more serious than a problem that TL can solve. There's nothing wrong with venting your frustration if it helps though, get a stress ball or go punch a pillow!
|
The problem with asking TL about you're problem is that we are all going to say "well i knew this one guy" or "i went through something similar". The problem is that every situation is very different and that there are people trained to help with these types of problems. even if you don't want to see a psychiatrist, I would recommend talking with some for of counsoler or someone trained in some form on psychology. It sounds to me that you have some form of general anxiety disorder, and that is indeed something that can be debilitating. Hope it gets better.
|
|
|
Look up something called ACT, or Acceptance Commitment Therapy. Basic idea is that the people who experience the most intense feelings of anxiety are the ones who fight it, the ones who really don't want to feel anxious. There's a lot more too it then that, but if you are looking for something to try, perhaps that can help. It's helped me in the past.
|
On March 01 2012 15:49 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On March 01 2012 15:46 cmen15 wrote:
Well something I've heard some people do is every morning you wake up and look into the mirror. An start telling yourself that not only can you be social but you are!! You need to understand that this problem is stuck in your head and you are the only one that can overcome it. I know this is going to sound terrible but have you ever thought of smoking some weed? Yea I know drugs are bad lol but it would for sure calm you down. weed would be nice but I'm broke as fuck enough as it is haha.
I'm not sure if you're being serious or not but i would highly recommend that you do not smoke weed. It will not help your situation and likely make it a lot worse. You don't need the added stress of wondering if you smell of it nor the paranoia that comes from smoking it. It might calm you down but its not something you should rely on to get through the day.
With that aside a small piece of advice would be to keep in touch through texts or something with a family member or close friend. If you're feeling anxious before going to class just give them a phone call, ask them about their day and just talk a bit to relax yourself and take your mind off things. Try to make a daily routine thats relaxing, maybe watching some starcraft before you goto class or work and then carrying that momentum to stay calm and not over-think going to class and socializing.
Just go about your day like you do it every day with no problem. Socialize with an open mind, be yourself, and keep at it. Do not avoid things that might cause anxiety or you'll never conquer them.
From someone that can relate to your troubles, i wish you the best of luck. 
|
I'll give you some advice. I'm 27 now, and I started dealing with anxiety attacks after a bad shroom trip when I was 16 or 17. It basically acted as some sort of weird catalyst to spark a problem I continue to have to this day, though unfortunately, they're nothing like what your describing, as they are almost sureley PTSD-related involuntary reactions (or some shit :/). Regardless, anxiety still feels like anxiety, whether you're actually worried about something or not. Anyways, as I am a bit of an introvert at my core, I can understand a bit about what your talking about socially as well, as I have had a my share of tough years socially for various reason throughout school and other places.
It is important to realize that, basically, anxiety/stress/depression is like an invisible rock you carry unwillingly on your emotional back. When you fall into holes of self pity, lack of confidence, ect, it's that much harder to pull yourself out. When you want to make a leap of faith for something, that rock likes to second guess the shit out of you before you take your first step. And unless you luck out and find (or need) medication, this rock will usually only get a bit smaller, or disappear for small periods of time (even with the medication).
Lucky for you, it's an emotional rock, and not a logical rock. You feel like it's hard to do these things, but if you don't suffer from some sort of dementia or physical ailment (which is quite possible to have manifest with serious panic attacks), then you always have the choice to "man up" and face the reality around you, and not the reality that you create in your head.
It's probably not what you want to hear, but it's actually the only sure thing that can help you. A psychologist can give you pills and techniques that may or may not help, and you may or may not just grow out of it naturally. But if it ends up as a persistent problem, your only option is to acknowledge your problem for what it is, and choose to not acknowledge it in the social situations you describe. You just have to let go, be yourself, and crash and fucking burn if you have to. And then try to learn something.
As I am likely a bit older than you, I've had a lot of time to deal with my problems, make an amazing amount of mistakes, and still be come out on top as an optimist. Which means I can find lots of great things and strengths about your condition and your situation.
1. Your a college student. You and your peers think you are all adults, but you're (mentally) likely just a bunch of glorified teenagers. So many people are still maturing (believe it or not), and in the greater scope of things, these are (for the most part) not people you are going to be around for the rest of your life. It's a huge world out there, and these people are a stupidly small part of it. Think of your disorder as a fear of swimming, and this is a shallow side of the kiddie pool for you to fuck around in. Take that mentality in fully, be yourself, and get used to dealing with your feelings gracefully, knowing whats really happening and not what you feel is happening.
2. People with anxiety disorders generally pickup (or have always had) natural traits of analysis and hyper vigilance. This means you prepare for problems or inconveniences constantly, usually having contingencies, based on being able to read people and situations pretty well. Use that as a strength with your intuition, and not as a hindrance when you know logically that something has only the risk of you being nervous about something or someone.
3. You have a problem. Problems let you sympathize with others. Sympathy is a social feeling, as we all have problems, and most of us enjoy not feeling alone with their troubles if they don't have to. Take that optimism I keep bringing up, be humble and thankful for the problems you don't have, and put yourself in a position to relate with others when they open up to you. Anyone who has the balls to admit their weaknesses openly, usually gains a bit of trust and respect from those they open up to. They usually gain good friends, too
There are other things I could mention, but the bottom line is you have to look at your situation optimistically, and not be afraid to fail socially. Bad things happen to everyone, but like I said before, you can either over-acknowledge your problem, and use it as a crutch or excuse for your problems, or do the best you can with the handicap you have.
So, sadly perhaps, that is my advice. However, learning how to deal with your problems will greatly improve your quality of life, even though it might never fully or truly solve the problem. I sincerely hope some of this helps you, anxiety is not fun.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
