EPTMay 5th, another not so normal day in the life of Endymion. I sat upon my bed, looking over my over packed bag. Since my recent posts, I had been relocated down to the Korean coast by Chill, he said that not even Disney land could fix me.. South Korea was the last place on Earth which didn't sit within Team Liquid's sphere of influence, even posters as young as Pokebunny knew that.. However, this had a fairly important consequence: most nerds didn't have a chance in hell getting laid in the last free province of Earth.. All of the anti-gaming girlfriends had fled west over the pacific when Nazgul took the white house; they knew what was coming. This was my punishment, this was my curse. I had been forbidden to speak to Elly since my last visit to TLHQ, and I had a ghost ready to burst with energy, needing to EMP my enemies before I EMPed in my sleep.
On the flight over I had contacted my one hope on the Korean Peninsula, a man who goes by the ID Rekrul. He flourished in the anti-gaming club scene, he has since renounced poker in favor of a more "mature" occupation of trading fixed income securities. Bitches love fixed income securities. Anyways, I'm off topic. Rekrul had been cold to me over the phone, telling me "stfu nerd get laid el oh el u suk" as he hung up. I wasn't discouraged. I promptly sent him a picture message of Blake Lively, captioned with "dude I totally fucked her, no jokes." I think he believed me, but I can't really be sure. I'll have to check the forums when I get back to NYC.
Still green with motion sickness, I dismounted the plane. At first I had a lot of trouble, I hadn't been in an airport without chat channels in quite a while, so I didn't really know how to figure out where to go. I tried asking random people, but they just got mad when I told them my ladder rank before I actually asked them where the PUA area of the airport was. Eventually, I was drawn by the smell of betas, and I found them. A bunch of them were standing around, practicing on each other, while others were reading The Game, while others yet were jerking off. Rekrul stood apart from the pack, standing straight and confident. "You finally fucking got here.. Took you long enough, no wonder chill kicked you out..."
I responded with "Sorry, I'm out of my element in Seoul.. I don't even speak korean.."
"You're not an alpha, why did you even call me.. You think I can get you laid? You're worse at talking to girls than torte de lini is at SS! Go home kid!"
"Are you serious Rekrul? I fucked ESPORTS, I sk8ted, I even downloaded some ram, get off my case."
"Alright alright lets take it down a knotch... you've got some game"
"damn right I do"
We couldn't take Rekrul's car back to his place, he doesn't need one.. He just has girls from the last night drive him around.. The girl of the day was actually the new heir apparent to the unified Korean Kingdom, a meager catch if you hear it from Rekrul. We rolled up to his place around 2pm kst, apparently Elky had just finished some poker tournament and he was celebrating with getting in a boxing match.. Yeah, I didn't know either.. It's an alpha thing I guess.. The shudders were drawn in the penthouse, the walls were lined with monitors displaying information related to fixed-income securities worldwide, apparently Rekrul doesn't fuck around. I picked up a vanilla folder, expecting to find headshots of cute girls, instead it was labeled "Interest Rate Risk Analysis: The Rekrul Take," apparently he was writing a book. I smiled at the irony, then looked through the contents.. It was all pretty accurate, he had done his homework. I dunno why I expected anything less.
Rekrul and Tasteless entered the room. Tasteless hopped over a table, exclaiming "sup bro! welcome to Korea!" He then flipped a table because he's that fucking alpha. Rekrul told tasteless to calm the fuck down, then turned his gaze towards me. "We're hitting Kangnam... Five minutes. Nick here is going to give you a hair cut before we go because you look like a virgin." Nodding to Tasteless, he turned away. Tasteless reached into his pants and whipped out a giant sword, and gave me a frohawk in just two cuts! Boss! He then drank some nerd blood and jumped out a fucking window. Classy. "We'll meet him at the club, lets bounce."
The cabs took forever, but we eventually made it to the club. It was called "순결의 자유의 맛" ... Typical Korea... We roll up, hop out the cabs, and get to business. Rekrul holds me back for the first few minutes, he says my white boy look isn't going to fly with Korean chicks. I tell him he's batshit crazy. I go up to this girl and give her the soul stare: I just awkwardly stare at her until she looks away. ALPHA BABY. I looked over my should and winked at Rekrul, to reaffirm my success of course. I swag stepped up to her, and introduced myself. "hi i'm endymion nice to meet you, your hair is really cute!" She says something in korean, typical girl... I ignore that BS, instead I reach for her inner thigh. She's into it, starts trying to mimic starcraft units in english. I tell her she's fucking terrible at it. Then I make out with her. alpha. I look over, Tasteless is making out with some chick in a pandabearguy outfit. I ignore it because he's my boy, and take this biddy back to Rekrul's flat. We get there, I get it in, she comes first. Second. Third. I tell her she's bad again, call her a newbie bronze leaguer even, then I pass out. Once again, alpha.
I wake up in the morning, and my fucking headphones are missing... I don't even know what happened, I think she stole them though, what a whore. I ask Rekrul what happened last night, and he just tells me to go post about it on TL. Fucking typical girls, never having sex again..
