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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
It was just a regular old day in a regular old week. Me putting in the hours at what I call my job. Just like any old company, the company employs a janitorial contract service. Every day around 8pm, the crew comes in to throw out the trash and clean the restrooms. I'd imagine that the same crew comes in to vacuum the floors. Being in the engineering team, we tend to put in longer hours than your typical nine to five. Naturally we often find ourselves hovering around the office by the time 8pm rolls around. 8pm is the twilight zone. It's when the white collar world of the tech company and the blue collar world of the janitorial firm races towards each other at full speed. Collision is imminent - or so we think. The crash rarely happens. We are racing towards each other... only in opposite lanes. We're in the same space, in the same hour, yet we hardly acknowledge the other's existence. It's like a parallel universe that we reject and eject from our consciousness. Our subconscious is trained to ignore the other world. But sometimes, the two world's do collide. Something pulls the two worlds together and we realize our ignorance. But such epiphanies are fleeting. Just as they stampeded into our consciousness, they shuffle their way out. We're back to square one. On the regular old day in a regular old week, I made my way to the men's room during the twilight zone. There was a female worker in the men's room, carrying out her professional duties. I see her, but the visual information doesn't trigger any sort of emergency response. I proceed with my mission, heading towards the urinary equipment. The woman shuffles out hurriedly, as I lower my zipper. It's finally at this point, that I realize what I have done. I acknowledged the existence of an animate creature, yet completely ignored the human aspect of this fellow being. Forget about those "objectifying women" complaints we see every day; what I did was far worse than that. I dehumanized a fellow human being. A few minutes later, I had completely forgotten about this realization. The worlds had intersected briefly, but were separate again. A few weeks later, the same thing happened. I felt even worse this time, as I had failed to correct my already inexcusable ways. But today I caught myself before the act. I realized the distinct possibility of a female janitor being in the men's room, and braced myself as I prepared to acknowledge her existence and to treat her with the respect and consideration that someone of the opposite sex should deserve in such a circumstance. I opened the door, entering my trial. Alas, empty. The true test would have to wait until another day. But today, I was a little more aware of the other, invisible world. One small step for me. One small step for me.
Crossposted from my main blog
 
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
>Spieltor
The matter is far worse and condemnable than sexism as manifested in the modern western world, in my opinion. This attitude and behavior is closer to racism or slavery. It's the subject of a "second class citizen". It's about dehumanizing a fellow human.
And honestly, I am guilty of just that.
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I'm not sure what Spieltor's complaint is here... haji's admitting to his mistakes. Better to be made aware of things and change them than not.
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Hm, I honestly don't see what's wrong here but I suppose I will give you my respect for constantly seeking self-improvement.
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It is socially awkward sometimes to acknowledge the other person.
Saying 'Hi, how is your day?' is silly because neither party gives a shit, just be courteous without having to make an uncomfortable situation.
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Which made you feel worse? Going pee pee in front of this woman? Or failing to acknowledge her?
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I know this feel. I try to lock eyes and say hello whenever I'm in the same vicinity as our janitor, but the barrier is there mostly due to his not speaking swedish very well. We say hello to each other but that's the end of it.
Thing is, I don't really have any obligation to bond with him any more than I should bond with the guy who cleans the street or the dude that packs boxes at my supermarket. It's weird, but this is just how it is, the human brain simply can't handle too many "people" in our vicinity so they become "things" instead.
Google monkeysphere.
I gave a guy about $30 yesterday because he stepped in front of me and pestered me about the cruelties in Irak on my way home. He showed me licenses and shit from the police to show that his drive was legit, and obviously I have no good reason not to give money to stop women being stoned for unfair reasons. But neither those women or the guy were real to me until he shoved himself and his story into my life.
If everyone spent all their loose cash on charity the world would become a much better place, but we don't do it because throwing money outside of our monkeysphere makes us feel like we're throwing it in the river.
It's just how we function. Your cleaning lady is a strange monkey in your sphere.
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Nice writing, I liked it. I read an interesting article about a psychology professor in Brazil who did an experiment on the invisible people who work as janitors and such. For weeks he worked part time being one of them in the university, wearing their uniform and doing the cleaning job together with them.
He mentions that some of his colleagues would not even recognize and say good day while passing by, as used as they were of not looking in the faces of the people who wear such uniforms.
On the other side, the workers were at first uncertain of this new guy working with them. What does he think, this professor, coming to work with us? His first "trial" was when they had their first break for some coffee and faced the situation where they had no cups. One of the guys went to a nearby trash can, pickup some soda cans an cut them to use as a makeshift cup. He said all their eyes were on him, to see if he would refuse to drink the coffee in this "dirty" cup.
He wrote a book on his experiences during the period, "The Invisible Men". I could not find the original article, but did find something in English: http://www.bleebo.org/2012/01/the-lackluster/
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Good thing our janitor lady always put up the 'washroom closed for cleaning' so I know not to interrupt her duties. There are two washrooms on our floor and only one of them is unavailable at times (I assume that there is only one cleaning lady / 'team' per floor).
Say one day she forgot to put up her sign. Having read this, I'm certain that I'd try to quickly exit before she notices me, so that she won't be interrupted in her routine. If she does notice me, hopefully I'll excuse myself out before she offers to pause her routine.
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Why didn't you apologize to her?
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
On February 11 2012 00:54 xSixGeneralHan wrote:
Why didn't you apologize to her?
The second time, I actually did, not that I think about it.
Doesn't make it any better though 
Also, I think the same sort of psychology happens at cashiers as well.
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Sit to pee and have a chat while you're in the stalls.
I've solved two problems with one post. Huzzah!
I dunno. Don't see it as too much of a thing... maybe marginally rude that you didn't say, 'Hi I want to go pee' first?? It's not some kind of grave travesty that takes away her worth as a human being.
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On February 11 2012 02:26 thedeadhaji wrote:Show nested quote +On February 11 2012 00:54 xSixGeneralHan wrote:
Why didn't you apologize to her? The second time, I actually did, not that I think about it. Doesn't make it any better though Also, I think the same sort of psychology happens at cashiers as well.
Sorry, I'm missing the point on you writing the blog in the first place. Did anything on this make you even feel bad at all? Are these all just questions you you are trying to "lift" here or do you genuinely think you have done some wrong and wanted others to open their eyes to the same thing/wrongdoing? If so, please elaborate a bit more than the facts and on the feelings 
Sorry if I may be asking too much and about any misspellings.
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Did she have the door blocked? After my first year of university I got a summer job working as (a) maintenance/janitor/security guard. Part of my janitorial duties was, of course, cleaning the bathrooms and whenever I would go in the womens I would block the door with a garbage can so that anyone coming in knew I was in there and we wouldn't have any awkward moments.
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Guess at your workplace, Janitors don't put up a DO NOT ENTER sign when they clean bathrooms.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
I think that, no matter what job role someone else is serving at that time, I should always interact with them in the same manner I would if I met them at a cafe, or something along those lines. Human interaction, I think, is always beneficial to both sides.
I'm actually pretty good at this when passing by construction workers who are diverting traffic, or cashiers at the grocery store.
I think there are ways to make the interaction not-so-awkward, and so I'll be trying to work on this as time goes on...
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This was a bit eye opening. I realize I do the same thing without any second thought whatsoever now. I became so conditioned to just treat the person as if they were not there. You have a point, don't know if I will remember next time I'm in a situation like that but its definitely something I realize I should keep more in mind to.
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On February 12 2012 03:50 thedeadhaji wrote:
I think that, no matter what job role someone else is serving at that time, I should always interact with them in the same manner I would if I met them at a cafe, or something along those lines. Human interaction, I think, is always beneficial to both sides.
I'm actually pretty good at this when passing by construction workers who are diverting traffic, or cashiers at the grocery store.
I think there are ways to make the interaction not-so-awkward, and so I'll be trying to work on this as time goes on...
I can agree with that, but I would disagree in your assement that no doing so is dehumanizing. I think there's a fair bit between being a dick and straight up dehumanizing. I don't know where that line is though.
I can see grocers, just doing a simple hi and thank you, have a good day, but are you yelling out the window to construction workers or something?? This is kind of funny to think about.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
>Hawk.
For construction workers / gardeners, I do my best to make eye contact or wave at them or something similar if I'm in my car. If I'm walking around, I'd probably do something similar - at least acknowledge their existence, if you know what I mean.
I'm not certain myself, but maybe the action itself can almost be trivial, as long as the other person doesn't feel inanimate through your actions/attitude?
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Yeah I get and agree with what you're saying in your last paragraph. I generally do the same when I get coffee, with the mailman, etc etc.
It was just the notion of yelling hi to a construction worker as you roll by in your car that was kind of funny to me.
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Austin10833 Posts
This seems weirdly condescending to me. You're saying you have to make a concerted effort to interact with people of a certain income bracket, or else you tend to think of them as objects or set-dressings?
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
>Brood
I'd say it's people in certain social/occupational roles that I have this problem with. Yes, there's a correlation between these occupations and income bracket, but I'm being totally honest when I say that I don't think their monetary compensation isn't a factor in this situation, at least for me.
Rather it's that I seem to have been "trained" (or perhaps I trained myself, one way or another) to ignore and not acknowledge these people while they do their jobs as janitors and other similar roles. Maybe a part of it is because there's no interaction from the side of the janitors as well, so there's a mutual understanding of noninterference? If it's solely income bracket, I should have the same problem with cashiers or mailmen, but I don't seem to have the same oversights with these groups of people.
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EPT
