EPTBesides, the word failure really has no meaning. I'm certain there are people in your situation as well as people who have far less than you that do not consider themselves failures, and on the other hand there are people who have a ton of the things you want that think they are failures. You have to ask yourself, what do you really want, that fits with your personality and your interests and work towards that, instead of judging yourself based on random standards you get from who-knows-where.
I am a failure - Page 3
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jubil
United States2602 Posts
Besides, the word failure really has no meaning. I'm certain there are people in your situation as well as people who have far less than you that do not consider themselves failures, and on the other hand there are people who have a ton of the things you want that think they are failures. You have to ask yourself, what do you really want, that fits with your personality and your interests and work towards that, instead of judging yourself based on random standards you get from who-knows-where. | ||
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Emperor_Earth
United States824 Posts
From a psych standpoint, we're driven to feel good and to be right. Guilt in and of itself is a very weak blip on the radar. Something to consider. | ||
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Emperor_Earth
United States824 Posts
On February 10 2012 09:33 jubil wrote: You're breathing right now, right? That means no matter what else you think about your life, you have a good starting place. I don't think any human life can be called a failure at 21 - that's like calling the game in the first 10 minutes. Besides, the word failure really has no meaning. I'm certain there are people in your situation as well as people who have far less than you that do not consider themselves failures, and on the other hand there are people who have a ton of the things you want that think they are failures. You have to ask yourself, what do you really want, that fits with your personality and your interests and work towards that, instead of judging yourself based on random standards you get from who-knows-where. I disagree. I consider my 23 years an abysmal failure. The other side of the coin, however, is that I am still in a tenable position to change that, as is the OP here.. | ||
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cz
United States3249 Posts
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JJoNeEightY
United States509 Posts
I just wanted you to know that some good came of what you've posted here, it's made me do a whole lot of thinking about my own life, and I'm going to try and make some changes with you. If we find some way to make ourselves happy, and to contribute to society in even the smallest fashion (to make other people happy,) then I think we will have succeeded. Good luck. | ||
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Roe
Canada6002 Posts
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Golgotha
Korea (South)8418 Posts
On February 10 2012 06:32 mewbert wrote: I think you are giving him bad advice, words like these are what enable people to fuck their life up for so long, you need to change now if you want to be happy in the future, every desicion you make should be a long term goal if you are really unhappy with yourself and want to change. what? how is that bad advice? the op is clearly distraught over the mistakes he has made and he labels himself as a failure. however, the truth is that he can change and fix his problems, he is not doomed to be a failure forever. You think I told him to fuck around until the very last moment and then miraculously shape up? where did I say that?  I did not say such things.Look, you seem to think that you need to change now in order to be happy in the future. Well, changing is easy for some but very hard for others. Some people need time before waking the hell up. Thus, even if the OP does not change NOW, he is not doomed forever. That is my message. I doubt it will fuck his life up. lol. | ||
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`Zapdos
United States935 Posts
On February 10 2012 13:05 Golgotha wrote: what? how is that bad advice? the op is clearly distraught over the mistakes he has made and he labels himself as a failure. however, the truth is that he can change and fix his problems, he is not doomed to be a failure forever. You think I told him to fuck around until the very last moment and then miraculously shape up? where did I say that? I did not say such things.Look, you seem to think that you need to change now in order to be happy in the future. Well, changing is easy for some but very hard for others. Some people need time before waking the hell up. Thus, even if the OP does not change NOW, he is not doomed forever. That is my message. I doubt it will fuck his life up. lol. You ruined me. Kidding aside I don't understand fighting and negative attitude in this blog so I chose to ignore people like that and I appreciate your advice Golgotha. Also to everyone else who replied in here saying they've been inspired to change or that they're going through this right now feel free to PM me please. I really don't have other people to talk to so I don't mind exchanging stories with you and giving and receiving advice. I'm trying to build relationships and a foundation to start fixing myself and I think TL is great for that I've already met some very nice people from this thread. | ||
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Zorkmid
4410 Posts
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guN-viCe
United States687 Posts
On February 10 2012 06:24 0123456789 wrote: I honestly think the solution to most of these kind of blogs' problems is the computer. Step away from the computer, distance yourself from it. Don't touch it for a week. And most of your problems will solve themselves. Computer or any type of external stimulation like tv, phone, ipod, everything stimulating. This. At least for me. Internet/computer addiction is a very real problem for some people. | ||
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THE_DOMINATOR
United States309 Posts
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Hidden_MotiveS
Canada2562 Posts
On February 10 2012 06:24 0123456789 wrote: I honestly think the solution to most of these kind of blogs' problems is the computer. Step away from the computer, distance yourself from it. Don't touch it for a week. And most of your problems will solve themselves. Computer or any type of external stimulation like tv, phone, ipod, everything stimulating. I think I agree with this statement. | ||
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`Zapdos
United States935 Posts
On February 13 2012 09:45 Hidden_MotiveS wrote: I think I agree with this statement. I'm pretty sure the internet does not hinder me from what I need to do nor was it a cause for my problem with myself, but I do appreciate the advice. | ||
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Hidden_MotiveS
Canada2562 Posts
On February 13 2012 13:23 `Zapdos wrote: I'm pretty sure the internet does not hinder me from what I need to do nor was it a cause for my problem with myself, but I do appreciate the advice. I guess I was commenting on what was bringing myself down. In my personal experience setting unrealistic expectations on oneself and using a board as motivation hasn't been too effective, but perhaps it will work for you. Otherwise I'd talk to this friend of yours about it. | ||
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cArn-
Korea (South)824 Posts
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QuanticHawk
United States32044 Posts
On February 10 2012 13:05 Golgotha wrote: what? how is that bad advice? the op is clearly distraught over the mistakes he has made and he labels himself as a failure. however, the truth is that he can change and fix his problems, he is not doomed to be a failure forever. You think I told him to fuck around until the very last moment and then miraculously shape up? where did I say that? I did not say such things.Look, you seem to think that you need to change now in order to be happy in the future. Well, changing is easy for some but very hard for others. Some people need time before waking the hell up. Thus, even if the OP does not change NOW, he is not doomed forever. That is my message. I doubt it will fuck his life up. lol. the way he conveyed it is crass, but he is right that your post does not convey the sense of urgency that is needed in this case. The changes needed are not something that can be delayed for a few more months, because he's creating permanent damage to both his grades, and possibly his health. To get where he wants to be, the op needs life altering changes asap, because the older you get, the harder and harder it is to get back into shape, to unfuck your grades, to find the motivation to get your four year degree when you're 20-something taking a bunch of courses with dipshit freshmen kids. Getting a 1.x in community college is real bad. I landed there after flunking out of university myself, and i can say from experience that those courses are designed so that even the dumbest of people will pass with a little effort. I'm gonna assume the op is not retarded, but lazy as fuck. The only way you fail CC is if you don't give a fuck at all, and if you can't get it up for CC, you're boned at a four year, and even something like Berklee or some other kind of art/music school where grades really don't matter as much. And that says nothing of your GPA, which is hard as hell to bring up when you've sunk it that low. Prior to getting booted from my four year, I had two semesters with a 1.x and then I dipped below 1.0 after I just stopped showing up. Even after returning and pretty much getting 3.5 or better ever semster, I still only graduated with a 2.8 or 9 (I think my core was higher but whatever). Point is, even if you get suddenly motivated tomorrow, that is a huge fucking hole to dig out of, and the only way you do that is by starting asap. Even if you are of just moderate intelligence, almost all levels of schooling are about how many miles of shit you're willing to walk through to get to your end goal. it's really something like 80% effort and 20% plain old smarts. You make up the difference by putting in the extra effort. If smarty pants dipshit that fucks the curve takes an hour to study, you take three. If you're not willing to put forth the required effort, you should drop out for a semester and get a full time job. For a lot of people i've talked to that have been through similar issues (and for myself), working 40 hours a week for peanuts with no prospect of improvement is a pretty damn strong motivator to get your shit together in school and in life. Shit, working full time through school is a damn good way to get yourself so busy that you don't have time to be sitting around, moping in your room by yourself and fucking around playing games instead of studying. It teaches you how to manage your time, and how to manage money. You'll also meet more people. I really wish I had started college like that instead of waiting til I dropped out. anyway, good luck. You're behind the 8 ball a bit, but you can definitely recover. it's up to you to put forth the immense effort you will need to unfuck what you've done. You've at least recognized where you're at, which is a major step forward. | ||
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