Warning
+ Show Spoiler +
This story is not intended for young children under the age of 16, the elderly, people prone to epilepsy, and the mentally unstable.
Our story begins in the court of the mighty and legendary Sayle, StarCraft: BroodWar's new hope, and a savior of ESPORTS. Back in ye olde days, the legends echo of his exploits and manliness, which he forever carved into our hearts with the mighty psi-blades of Aiur. His streamed events would attract spectators from throughout the land; the poorest of vagabonds to the wealthiest of merchants. These said events were battles-to-the-death in the blood-stained arenas of the latest and trendiest Proleague maps, and as these intrepid warriors would clash with their mightiest and most imbalanced of units, the commanding and omnipotent voice of Sayle would narrate every ingenious movement that these warp-speed chessmasters would execute!
One fateful day, I sought to set my delicate feet into that arena. In the midst of that deadly abode, I was struck senseless by the jeers of the rowdy and bloodthirsty audience, and in my confusion and panic, succumbed to the painful humiliation of being defeated by the lowliest of newbs. I then only sought to hide my face in shame from this horrendous and debilitating blow to my pride. Many of my comrades petitioned for my comfort, but alas! 'Twas in vain - I could not be consoled. There was only one path to vindication and resolution: REVENGE.
This is the story of that vengeance.
During my stay in purgatory, I decided to quit StarCraft. Worst decision ever. Don't ever do that, because StarCraft is awesome. What's not awesome is being taunted constantly with things like, "Girls can't play StarCraft" (which I'm pretty much desensitized to; I've heard it a billion times or so.) and "You lost to Eywa."
Oh, Eywa.
We used to be friends... where did it go so wrong? I guess it all started when he started being a royal JERK to everyone. But let's not focus on that so much right now, and rather, let's talk about this battle report thingy. I finally got some sweet sweet delicious yummy revenge when I stream-sniped Eywa, and apparently, he did not take kindly to that. So, a couple days ago, while hangin' out in Op Teamliquid on iCCup, I was all, like, "Yo yo, anyone wanna play?" and ended up playing Eywa, which I did not KNOW was Eywa until after the fact.
So, let's get into it:
There's a base within my base!
Being Eywa, it's in his blood to make proxies. He did a proxy gate build while smurfing against Puppykiller and decided to be a total meanie by posting a super-lame battle report on TL, bragging about how he defeated Puppykiller, so in a way, this blog is also for YOU, Puppykiller.
Another proxy.
Another proxy.
Another proxy.
So, okay, let me stop for a second. Some of the games that I lost to Eywa during the grudgematches were actually a blessing in disguise. I learned a lot from my mistakes and was able to improve my Zerg vs Protoss and my responses to proxies. Admittedly, the first proxy in this match took me by surprise, and I lost 3-4 drones to stop it from going up, but after that, I just let the probe go nuts making proxy buildings.
You see, if you play Protoss, you know that you need to be as efficient as possible to make sure your tech is on time, otherwise, what will happen is the Zerg's tech will allow them to snowball the game into an insurmountable victory. The margin for error, unfortunately, is not very favorable for Protoss in PvZ, and every time you make a proxy, it must do damage, because the construction of the proxy will delay your tech. I knew that letting him build more proxies would just increase my advantage.
A very sad empty crib where a base should be.
My overlord sees everything. I do see a spinning cybernetics core but no stargate. This obviously means he's going to have very late corsairs, or is making dragoon range AND getting zealot speed. Seriously, what is this? C'mon... really?
The best counter to proxies is Mutalisks.
At 13:00 into our game, we see a Templar Archives arriving on the scene, most likely to archive some templars.
When Ultralisks are battering away at your front, the proper response is to build an empty shuttle. The empty shuttle can be used to float around, completely empty, and act as a floating vessel of emptiness. I have to admit, the whole time I was playing, I was wondering "Is that shuttle empty?" but I sent a pair of scourge to SLAM-DUNK THAT SHUTTLE INTO A GARBAGE DUMPSTER.
The cows. They say hi. They say hi by ramming their gigantic horns into your feeble base, with a clear message on their minds: "Let it go, dawg, it's over."
Conclusion
Thus ends our tale. Only Oya can consistently win with pure proxies, because Swedish people are magic. People who attempt to copy-cat Oya's style will find themselves hopelessly behind in tech. Although proxies can take people by surprise, it's always important to be able to play a strong overall game.
NINA OUT!
-drops the mic-