Hooray, Christmas season is among us. Now, back when I was a tyke, I got into the Christmas spirit. However more and more I find myself dreading the Christmas season. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying Christmas is evil or bad or anything like that. What I’m saying is that Christmas is of the devil. It is supremely evil. Now, I don’t really care about the religious part, or even the delicious part. No, I care about the way Christmas is celebrated in America, and the ridiculous evil that occurs.
First is Santa. The Big Man himself. To demonstrate my point, I give a completely unbiased comparison of Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick and El Diablo.
Clearly, the two are practically the same. And that’s not bringing in the dubious origins of what happens to naughty kids (it involves chains and kidnapping, if I’m not mistaken). No, Santa may be a jolly fellow, but it is the jolliness of sadism and ransom money.
Now I come to the real reason I hate Christmas. Santa is fine, honestly. Just some terrible mythic figure. I can ignore Santa. But there is one aspect of Christmas that is ubiquitous. There is one aspect that no matter how secular you are, no matter how hermit-like you behave, you cannot escape no matter how hard you try.
The horrible, godawful music.
The annoyingly catchy, psychotically upbeat music.
A little backstory might be necessary right here. See my handle? My name is DoubleReed, because I play bassoon. As a musician, I have played a lot of Christmas gigs which means I have played a lot of Christmas music. And after playing so much Christmas music, I only have ten months before it all happens again. Ten months is just not enough time.
Silent Night, O Little Town of Bethlehem, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, King of Kings, Jingle Bells (and its little retarded brother, Jingle Bell Rock). These are the things that terrify me. Even the non-Christmas songs, like Driedel Driedel and Let It Snow are terrible songs. And they’re everywhere. Malls, coffee shops, bookstores, restaurants, and barbershops (don’t even get me started on their quartets). People even have a tradition of going up to people’s houses and singing at them. It’s called caroling.
They actually even have the gall to claim that this holiday is under attack. It’s the “War on Christmas.” Well let me tell you something, if Christmas and America are at war, I think it’s pretty damn certain who’s won. November and December, a sixth of our entire year, have been personally set aside for this commercialized monstrosity. I think there might even be a conspiracy in the works here, involving Santa Claus, BP, Iran, and the President of the United States, but I haven't put all the pieces together yet.
LOL this is great, ever since Christmas went commercial I started hating it (around when I was 13) there really is no difference between tim allen and tim curry lol
I love Chistmas so I can't agree with any of your points. Love the cheesy movies, love some of the music (not all the time though), love the snow storms that start in december every year (pretty late this year though T_T hope we get snow soon; what we got already melted). People are less a bunch of assholes around this time of the year too so it's awesome. I only get to see my family once a year and that's at Christmas as well. For 3-4 days at my parents, I gorge myself on awesome food that I don't get to eat the rest of the year. I don't care much for presents though, waste of money.
But the most important part : the dark and depressing months of october and november are over! Woo!
Yeah, go Christmas! No joke. I won't have any problems not killing anyone.
Oh, and this song is awesome (original one too) :+ Show Spoiler +
i never really understood why there's a santa in christmas. is he a god? or is he a real person, that uses god's magical reindeer and elf-slaves to build toys for every child. I just don't get it.
Wat! I love the christmas time and the songs and the mood it's getting you on. Btw I have a habit of always whistling a christmas tune, no matter where I am and what time of the year it is.
Getting presents is pretty nice too and I get to be a cheapass this year and barely buy presents since I have been unemployed for awhile now. win/win.
Can't stand Christmas music/movies though, it's all shit. Not to mention it's always just mildly cold here around that time, just doesn't feel right without the stereotypical snow around this time of year, it's hard to get into the mood of it.
Yea i stay away from the radio and tv during this time especially now. I am on and off with this girl who loves Christmas music.... Shit drives me crazy lol.
Gotta agree with this. It's really ridiculous how much Christmas music gets blasted just about everywhere. Having to see a guy paid to act as Santa in the mall every goddamn year is just annoying.
Meh, I can't say I don't enjoy the presents and the sexy santa suits.
Santa symbolizes the fat corporate CEOs who sell the product. Follow the profits, people. That's where the real evil lies. Er, rather... that's where the real evil rests his feet on his desk.
On December 11 2011 05:54 Newbistic wrote: Someone should give you a dreidel for a Christmas present. Maybe it'll inspire you to write more entertaining blogs. 5/5
Yeah, Christmas music is a horrible evil which you can not escape for two months of the year. It's awful when they start putting up Christmas items in the store in October (WTF!). Then I know that Christmas is nigh. *shudders*
Hooray, Christmas season is among us. Now, back when I was a tyke, I got into the Christmas spirit. However more and more I find myself dreading the Christmas season. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying Christmas is evil or bad or anything like that. What I’m saying is that Christmas is of the devil. It is supremely evil. Now, I don’t really care about the religious part, or even the delicious part. No, I care about the way Christmas is celebrated in America, and the ridiculous evil that occurs.
First is Santa. The Big Man himself. To demonstrate my point, I give a completely unbiased comparison of Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick and El Diablo.
Clearly, the two are practically the same. And that’s not bringing in the dubious origins of what happens to naughty kids (it involves chains and kidnapping, if I’m not mistaken). No, Santa may be a jolly fellow, but it is the jolliness of sadism and ransom money.
Now I come to the real reason I hate Christmas. Santa is fine, honestly. Just some terrible mythic figure. I can ignore Santa. But there is one aspect of Christmas that is ubiquitous. There is one aspect that no matter how secular you are, no matter how hermit-like you behave, you cannot escape no matter how hard you try.
The horrible, godawful music.
The annoyingly catchy, psychotically upbeat music.
A little backstory might be necessary right here. See my handle? My name is DoubleReed, because I play bassoon. As a musician, I have played a lot of Christmas gigs which means I have played a lot of Christmas music. And after playing so much Christmas music, I only have ten months before it all happens again. Ten months is just not enough time.
Silent Night, O Little Town of Bethlehem, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, King of Kings, Jingle Bells (and its little retarded brother, Jingle Bell Rock). These are the things that terrify me. Even the non-Christmas songs, like Driedel Driedel and Let It Snow are terrible songs. And they’re everywhere. Malls, coffee shops, bookstores, restaurants, and barbershops (don’t even get me started on their quartets). People even have a tradition of going up to people’s houses and singing at them. It’s called caroling.
They actually even have the gall to claim that this holiday is under attack. It’s the “War on Christmas.” Well let me tell you something, if Christmas and America are at war, I think it’s pretty damn certain who’s won. November and December, a sixth of our entire year, have been personally set aside for this commercialized monstrosity. I think there might even be a conspiracy in the works here, involving Santa Claus, BP, Iran, and the President of the United States, but I haven't put all the pieces together yet.
On December 11 2011 03:20 DoubleReed wrote: Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying Christmas is evil or bad or anything like that. What I’m saying is that Christmas is of the devil. It is supremely evil.
This is like my favorite part of the whole thing. Though I couldn't agree more about the music section ^_^ My school is playing Christmas music over the loudspeaker in between periods T_T
On December 11 2011 03:20 DoubleReed wrote: Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying Christmas is evil or bad or anything like that. What I’m saying is that Christmas is of the devil. It is supremely evil.
This is like my favorite part of the whole thing. Though I couldn't agree more about the music section ^_^ My school is playing Christmas music over the loudspeaker in between periods T_T
Interesting to note that good 'ol Santa should be green (St Nicholaus' traditional colour) instead of coca cola's fucking red. I feel your ear-pain, OP.
Despite the bleak portrayal of Christmas written above, I would like to point out that is a guaranteed public holiday and that because of Christmas, we have boxing day as well. That's right folks, Santa may be the devil himself but he gives you two days off work so suck it up.
Hooray, Christmas season is among us. Now, back when I was a tyke, I got into the Christmas spirit. However more and more I find myself dreading the Christmas season. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying Christmas is evil or bad or anything like that. What I’m saying is that Christmas is of the devil. It is supremely evil. Now, I don’t really care about the religious part, or even the delicious part. No, I care about the way Christmas is celebrated in America, and the ridiculous evil that occurs.
First is Santa. The Big Man himself. To demonstrate my point, I give a completely unbiased comparison of Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick and El Diablo.
Clearly, the two are practically the same. And that’s not bringing in the dubious origins of what happens to naughty kids (it involves chains and kidnapping, if I’m not mistaken). No, Santa may be a jolly fellow, but it is the jolliness of sadism and ransom money.
Now I come to the real reason I hate Christmas. Santa is fine, honestly. Just some terrible mythic figure. I can ignore Santa. But there is one aspect of Christmas that is ubiquitous. There is one aspect that no matter how secular you are, no matter how hermit-like you behave, you cannot escape no matter how hard you try.
The horrible, godawful music.
The annoyingly catchy, psychotically upbeat music.
A little backstory might be necessary right here. See my handle? My name is DoubleReed, because I play bassoon. As a musician, I have played a lot of Christmas gigs which means I have played a lot of Christmas music. And after playing so much Christmas music, I only have ten months before it all happens again. Ten months is just not enough time.
Silent Night, O Little Town of Bethlehem, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, King of Kings, Jingle Bells (and its little retarded brother, Jingle Bell Rock). These are the things that terrify me. Even the non-Christmas songs, like Driedel Driedel and Let It Snow are terrible songs. And they’re everywhere. Malls, coffee shops, bookstores, restaurants, and barbershops (don’t even get me started on their quartets). People even have a tradition of going up to people’s houses and singing at them. It’s called caroling.
They actually even have the gall to claim that this holiday is under attack. It’s the “War on Christmas.” Well let me tell you something, if Christmas and America are at war, I think it’s pretty damn certain who’s won. November and December, a sixth of our entire year, have been personally set aside for this commercialized monstrosity. I think there might even be a conspiracy in the works here, involving Santa Claus, BP, Iran, and the President of the United States, but I haven't put all the pieces together yet.
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