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Active: 695 users

how to feel like you did something today

Blogs > intrigue
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1 2 3 4 Next All
intrigue
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
December 01 2011 23:20 GMT
#1
people seem to think you have to do stuff. 'what did you do this weekend?' what a stupid question. what % of people can say more than "nothing i just sat at my computer and jerked off"? this may get to you and make you feel shitty. it's okay.

i have compiled an exhaustive list of things you can do to make yourself feel better.

1. floss. you don't floss. when you hear people talk about how gross it is to not floss, you suddenly feel self-conscious and pretend agree. have you ever thought that those people might not floss themselves? who the fuck flosses? i mean i do, now, just to feel useful. but before? fuck no. what if nobody in the world flossed, and the entire floss industry makes money off of peoples' vanity? fuck flossing. but still, floss. it feels great, it hurts and it also will probably bleed a surprising amount. even your fingers will hurt. any activity that involves lingering pain, cut circulation and bleeding is by definition very exciting. good job!

2. clothe an animal. this will give you something cute, whimsical and funny to say if an attractive member of the other sex asks. "so what do you do for fun?" "well yesterday i dressed my dog up in a pumpkin costume" [intrigue's note: i actually did this] and insert a mischievous smile [i actually did this]. it will make her laugh and imply that you do interesting things all the time and follow your imagination, when you don't at all. who cares. people don't like other people for who they are, they like other people for who they're perceived to be. enjoy getting laid, a lot.

3. trim your pubes. if you already do, just do it again. it's fun, and you feel different down there for a few days. it's a constant reminder that you look great, girl, have you been working out? yeah i found this new gym, and there's this really cute trainer. his name is dmitri and i fucked him in the parking lot.

thanks for reading, have a great day everybuddy. i hope your children all attend prestigious universities for non-liberal arts degrees and make you proud.

****
Moderatorhttps://soundcloud.com/castlesmusic/sets/oak
Ack1027
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States7873 Posts
December 01 2011 23:21 GMT
#2
How high?
Titusmaster6
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5937 Posts
December 01 2011 23:23 GMT
#3
This made my day, but even better, it just made my weekend
Shorts down shorts up, BOOM, just like that.
Probulous
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia3894 Posts
December 01 2011 23:24 GMT
#4
I am pretty sure that point number 2 and " i hope your children all attend prestigious universities for non-liberal arts degrees and make you proud." are contradictory

What would possess you to demean a companion thusly. Tut tut I say. Tut. Poor pooch won't want to piss on anything in case it smells of pumpkin juice
"Dude has some really interesting midgame switches that I wouldn't have expected. "I violated your house" into "HIHO THE DAIRY OH!" really threw me. You don't usually expect children's poetry harass as a follow up " - AmericanUmlaut
Rostam
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States2552 Posts
December 01 2011 23:24 GMT
#5
Great post. I never have anything to say when someone asks me what I did over the weekend, but now I can tell them I flossed.
BW forever || Thall
Myles
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States5162 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-12-01 23:26:18
December 01 2011 23:25 GMT
#6
No matter how cute a girl might find me for clothing my dog, I can't lower myself far enough to degrade them like that.
Moderator
impression
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
413 Posts
December 01 2011 23:25 GMT
#7
Oh intrigue, a dog in a pumpkin costume! *laughs
I don't floss. Fuck flossing. My toothbrush is good enough.
Lol! 5/5
I did stuff today guys!!!
행운을 빌어요 재미
blubbdavid
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Switzerland2412 Posts
December 01 2011 23:27 GMT
#8
Flossing is sooo american....
What do you desire? Money? Glory? Power? Revenge? Or something that surpasses all other? Whatever you desire - that is here. Tower of God ¦¦Nutella, drink of the Gods
liberal
Profile Joined November 2011
1116 Posts
December 01 2011 23:33 GMT
#9
I told my wife I will never touch one hair of my manly mane of pride.

She laughed at me, but deep down, she understood...
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
December 01 2011 23:35 GMT
#10
The best part of this blog is that Intrigue really is a cat irl.
FlaminGinjaNinja
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United Kingdom879 Posts
December 01 2011 23:35 GMT
#11
Wow, epic post.... I have to start flossing!
GinjaNinja.661 EU I'd like to thank my sh*t keyyboard for always messing up my 'Y's
intrigue
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-12-01 23:39:27
December 01 2011 23:38 GMT
#12
On December 02 2011 08:23 Titusmaster6 wrote:
This made my day, but even better, it just made my weekend

happy birthday, dear. i hope your marriage or romantic union last as long as you want it to and be full of profoundly loving moments.
Moderatorhttps://soundcloud.com/castlesmusic/sets/oak
Darkren
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1841 Posts
December 01 2011 23:39 GMT
#13
Can we get a photo for number 3 i dont seem to understand what u mean
"Yeah, I send (hopefully) helpful PM's quite frequently. You don't have to warn/ban everything" - KadaverBB
GettingIt
Profile Joined August 2011
1656 Posts
December 01 2011 23:39 GMT
#14
This actually turned my day right side up thanks
DreamChaser
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
1649 Posts
December 01 2011 23:40 GMT
#15
I floss...I get a strange joy from seeing all the crap stuck between my teeth gone.
Plays against every MU with nexus first.
zZygote
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Canada898 Posts
December 01 2011 23:42 GMT
#16
Flossing removes tartar, and dentists all over the world will remember the day intrigue got 90% of the nerds on TL to floss their teeth because people forgot how more meaningful it is to do something again
intrigue
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
December 01 2011 23:43 GMT
#17
yeah sure darkren so okay "pubes" is the american colloquial term for pubic hair, or the hair found around your genitals (which are your reproductive organs - if you are male, then it is your junk and if you are female it is your uterus&co). i don't feel like typing anymore
Moderatorhttps://soundcloud.com/castlesmusic/sets/oak
AcrossFiveJulys
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
United States3612 Posts
December 01 2011 23:43 GMT
#18
hmm, i recently successfully asked a girl out when I showed pictures of my dressed up robot (with which I conduct research) for halloween :3
impression
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
413 Posts
December 01 2011 23:45 GMT
#19
On December 02 2011 08:40 DreamChaser wrote:
I floss...I get a strange joy from seeing all the crap stuck between my teeth gone.


That's how most people feel about cleaning their ears
행운을 빌어요 재미
Randomaccount#77123
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States5003 Posts
December 01 2011 23:46 GMT
#20
--- Nuked ---
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