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intrigue
Washington, D.C9935 Posts
people seem to think you have to do stuff. 'what did you do this weekend?' what a stupid question. what % of people can say more than "nothing i just sat at my computer and jerked off"? this may get to you and make you feel shitty. it's okay.
i have compiled an exhaustive list of things you can do to make yourself feel better.
1. floss. you don't floss. when you hear people talk about how gross it is to not floss, you suddenly feel self-conscious and pretend agree. have you ever thought that those people might not floss themselves? who the fuck flosses? i mean i do, now, just to feel useful. but before? fuck no. what if nobody in the world flossed, and the entire floss industry makes money off of peoples' vanity? fuck flossing. but still, floss. it feels great, it hurts and it also will probably bleed a surprising amount. even your fingers will hurt. any activity that involves lingering pain, cut circulation and bleeding is by definition very exciting. good job!
2. clothe an animal. this will give you something cute, whimsical and funny to say if an attractive member of the other sex asks. "so what do you do for fun?" "well yesterday i dressed my dog up in a pumpkin costume" [intrigue's note: i actually did this] and insert a mischievous smile [i actually did this]. it will make her laugh and imply that you do interesting things all the time and follow your imagination, when you don't at all. who cares. people don't like other people for who they are, they like other people for who they're perceived to be. enjoy getting laid, a lot.
3. trim your pubes. if you already do, just do it again. it's fun, and you feel different down there for a few days. it's a constant reminder that you look great, girl, have you been working out? yeah i found this new gym, and there's this really cute trainer. his name is dmitri and i fucked him in the parking lot.
thanks for reading, have a great day everybuddy. i hope your children all attend prestigious universities for non-liberal arts degrees and make you proud.
 
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This made my day, but even better, it just made my weekend
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I am pretty sure that point number 2 and " i hope your children all attend prestigious universities for non-liberal arts degrees and make you proud." are contradictory 
What would possess you to demean a companion thusly. Tut tut I say. Tut. Poor pooch won't want to piss on anything in case it smells of pumpkin juice 
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Great post. I never have anything to say when someone asks me what I did over the weekend, but now I can tell them I flossed.
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United States5162 Posts
No matter how cute a girl might find me for clothing my dog, I can't lower myself far enough to degrade them like that.
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Oh intrigue, a dog in a pumpkin costume! *laughs
I don't floss. Fuck flossing. My toothbrush is good enough.
Lol! 5/5
I did stuff today guys!!!
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Flossing is sooo american....
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I told my wife I will never touch one hair of my manly mane of pride.
She laughed at me, but deep down, she understood...
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The best part of this blog is that Intrigue really is a cat irl.
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Wow, epic post.... I have to start flossing!
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9935 Posts
On December 02 2011 08:23 Titusmaster6 wrote:
This made my day, but even better, it just made my weekend
happy birthday, dear. i hope your marriage or romantic union last as long as you want it to and be full of profoundly loving moments.
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Can we get a photo for number 3 i dont seem to understand what u mean
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This actually turned my day right side up thanks
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I floss...I get a strange joy from seeing all the crap stuck between my teeth gone.
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Flossing removes tartar, and dentists all over the world will remember the day intrigue got 90% of the nerds on TL to floss their teeth because people forgot how more meaningful it is to do something again 
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9935 Posts
yeah sure darkren so okay "pubes" is the american colloquial term for pubic hair, or the hair found around your genitals (which are your reproductive organs - if you are male, then it is your junk and if you are female it is your uterus&co). i don't feel like typing anymore
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hmm, i recently successfully asked a girl out when I showed pictures of my dressed up robot (with which I conduct research) for halloween :3
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On December 02 2011 08:40 DreamChaser wrote:
I floss...I get a strange joy from seeing all the crap stuck between my teeth gone.
That's how most people feel about cleaning their ears
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EPT
