If the topic of relationships with parents hadn’t been brought up… if I hadn’t randomly asked the girl to my right whether she was close to her mom starting a chain of answers leading to you… I guess we all wouldn’t have seen those ten minutes of you completely crumbling as you revealed that your mother passed away just a few years ago. God, it’s crazy isn’t it? Pain - the initial surface wound does scab and eventually heal over but the deeper bruise and scar it leaves just never, ever goes away. It took all of ten seconds for that pain to resurface for you, and watching your eyes suddenly flick toward the ground, your fingers awkwardly grab at each other searching for the strength to push it back down, but failing because goddamn when that pain decides to spring back up there’s no stopping it… As the tears inevitably came and we all became quiet, all I could think was, how, how were you so strong? These past four years I’ve dealt with depression and phases of hibernation because I just couldn’t handle things, and while suffering is relative, the grief following something like the death of someone so close is something I’ve been fortunate enough not to experience yet, and I can’t even imagine what I’d do… If I’ve struggled so much with these problems I have now, how much more would I have completely fallen apart if I had to face something of that magnitude? How broken would I have been?
To you, who never once showed such pain except for those few minutes today… for always smiling and being one of the brightest, friendliest faces on campus despite it all… such strength is so incredibly inspiring and beautiful. To face such adversity and still work so hard, still smile so warmly at everyone - I only hope I can do the same in the times to come ahead - through both the good and the bad.
My girlfriend's mom died about 6 years ago or so, but it's so easy to see sometimes that it might as well have been yesterday. Especially when her dad had surgery for lymphoma earlier this year...sometimes there's just nothing you can say to make things better.
People can find strength in the strangest places. Once you find it, hold on to it. And when you find that someone takes that strength from you, be grateful and repay their trust. :D
On September 27 2011 12:48 sermokala wrote: I can't really say words but this has affected me I don't know what else to say. I lost my uncle recently and I always felt the same.
blog of the year award. make it. for this.
I know the feeling. I lost my grandfather end of last year and I think I've never really felt the same since before. It sounds cliche but you really don't realise how much you care until something is out of your life.
Cheers to staying strong, don't fall into the trap of thinking it's just for other people. Look after yourself too.
Thank you for the wonderful insight. Very nicely written, I commend your friend for being so strong. I lost 2 of my grandmothers during the same year, about 2 years ago, and even then, I still can't imagine what it would be like to lose someone as close to me as my mother.
On September 28 2011 01:06 BLinD-RawR wrote: I miss my dad.....I've never shown it,every time I hear my mom say "You are just like you're father",I just have the urge to say it,but I never do.
just a hollow smile,but I think she understands...
I get that exact same feeling of helplessness and desperation sometimes when I'm drinking and someone is talking about his/her mother. But then I drink some more and it goes away. In this moments I always got Metallica - All Within My Hands on my mind. Maybe because I listened to that song 8 hours straight when my mom died.
Very powerful words, been reading all your blog posts and it has made me very sad.
I come from a broken home and I've been through very hard times. I've been up and I've been down and I tried to stay strong but its hard. I've always been a very empathetic and sympathetic person and it hurts me more then anything else in my life. I cant stand watching people suffer and I want to help everyone but I cant. I get overwhelmed and stall.
Everyone deals with there problems in different ways, I love music and I put it in songs. Gaming is also something that really helps me. The escape of going into a video game or just writing a song is unprecedented and is probably why im still functioning as a human being.
On September 27 2011 14:29 p4NDemik wrote: Sheds a humbling light on any of the petty things I've been fretting over lately. You're lucky to have a friend like that.
That pretty much sums it up. Your friend sounds like a remarkable person.
I came across this for whatever reason, and it just hit me in the face *BAM!*... I cried abit and then decided I had to atleast tell you how very well written this blogpost was and how it truly touched me.