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Student Answers Greatest Hits - Page 5

Blogs > micronesia
Post a Reply
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G3CKO
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1430 Posts
September 23 2011 06:29 GMT
#81
v=d/t...

I seriously laughed
┌⋉⊳∀⊲) ☆ If your soul has not truly given up, then you can hear the sound that races through the end of the world.
Espelz
Profile Joined October 2010
Germany833 Posts
September 23 2011 06:41 GMT
#82
On September 23 2011 11:09 micronesia wrote:



PS I heard a couple of stories the past couple of years about a 9th grader being unable to tell time on an analogue clock


Actually : I had severe problems with that for a very long time too, I pretty much never had an analog clock for a long time, and only beeing able to tell the time on a normal watch "in theory" made me have to think for ages in front of a "normal" watch (whenever I had to ask someone on the street for the time because I had no watch and they would just SHOW me their watch, I was pretty much doomed.. never got it in time)

Learned it sooner or later though (I´m still slow and have to think about it for a moment, but hey... its okay , and everything else was always pretty good.


But on topic : I feel you Teaching myself, and beeing the son of two teachers, I know how that feels...)

My Mom actually teaches german and .. uhm.. pretty much nutrition ? (online dictionary tells me home ec , but I dunno if thats really the right one...). Anyway... can you imagine what it´s like to have 10 pupils like the one from your post in a kitchen and try to teach them to cook something ?

Hint : it is actually possible for people to misread + Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
for + Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
"Its not over till Fantasy gg´s" - Sayle
Velr
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Switzerland10939 Posts
September 23 2011 07:44 GMT
#83
7:
Q) How did the Jason, an underwater robot, assist in the photographing of the sunken Titanic?
A) It can go underwater.


Well... I don't see how you can say this is wrong ^^.
Nazarene
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Denmark996 Posts
September 23 2011 07:49 GMT
#84
What is the second theory Darwin is famous for?
surfinbird1
Profile Joined September 2009
Germany999 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-23 07:54:08
September 23 2011 07:49 GMT
#85
Are you for rela?
I feel for you. Math and Physics teacher here. Kids can be pretty horrifying. A student once told me that velocity was measured in seconds (at least partially true) -.- Or dividing by zero, or calculating with fractions,... I wanna cry in the corner
life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
Nikon
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Bulgaria5710 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-23 08:20:24
September 23 2011 08:18 GMT
#86
On September 23 2011 11:09 micronesia wrote:
1:
Q) Who was the first person to discover North America by boat?
A) Titanic

2:
Q) In what year did this discovery occur? 2050bc, 1002ad, 1492ad, or 1992ad
A) 1992ad

3:
Q) In what year did Columbus sail to North America? 2050bc, 2002ad, 1492ad, 1992ad
A) 2050bc


Lol, you can't be serious. Were these three questions next to each other on the exam paper? Because if they were, well... they practically solve themselves. Unless some of the public common knowledge has changed since I left school, that is. But still, come on.
Vlare
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
748 Posts
September 23 2011 08:21 GMT
#87
Been making synical remarks about children being the future for years now... We're fucked.
Mass zerglings doesnt fail
jacen
Profile Blog Joined April 2004
Austria3644 Posts
September 23 2011 08:43 GMT
#88
On September 23 2011 15:03 Bobo_XIII wrote:
it's a responsibility that has to be assumed by any and everybody playing in some part of a kids' upbringing. the line "it takes a village to raise a child" is very true. with todays' school systems, teachers (next to managers and bosses at part time jobs) have more face time with kids next to parents... they can essentially be viewed as second parents.

Here in Austria, after grade school, you have different teachers for every subject. You see them about 2-5 hours a week at most in classes. Also you don't see them the whole summer during the huge 9 weeks summer holidays and some other holidays in between. They can have some influence, but that's not nearly enough time to really get close to the kids. And this is the time (10-14) where many intellectual habits/methods develop. I know i would have been lost if my mom wouldn't have been so strict and my dad showing me what the world is about (even if my parents divorced when i was 12). Parents matter very much. Teachers are also in a bad position as, aside from grades, they have no way of punishing the kids without violating regulations and risking their job. You cannot raise a kid just with good words. You have to be strict. And you can only be that if you have leverage. Teachers don't have that.

And yes, "it takes a village to raise a child". Too bad 2/3rds of the western population live in cities where there is no "village".
(micronesia) lol we aren't going to just permban you (micronesia) "we" excludes Jinro
gullberg
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Sweden1301 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-23 09:37:18
September 23 2011 09:36 GMT
#89
These kids are most likely trolling (I did most of the time on surveys) because I fear for humanity if they were serious.
SpoR
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States1542 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-23 10:00:24
September 23 2011 09:48 GMT
#90
On September 23 2011 16:49 Nazarene wrote:
What is the second theory Darwin is famous for?

evolution and natural selection

Evolution is the process that things change and adapt with their environments over time. Natural selection is like a catalyst, survival of the fittest and have lots of babies.
A man is what he thinks about all day long.
zeru
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
8156 Posts
September 23 2011 09:52 GMT
#91
--- Nuked ---
ckei
Profile Joined July 2009
Finland37 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-23 10:18:21
September 23 2011 10:05 GMT
#92
ill have to agree with HwangjaeTerran. The system is kinda shitty. The reason why people study is to pass trough the grueling university admittance exams(or atleast thats why I studied on weekends instead of partying).

2 - All teachers are prepared in academic universities.
To teach in Finland you need at a minimum a Masters degree for permanent placement.

This seems good on paper,but the reality is another thing. The MA degree only takes 4 years and is basicly our BA degree.

just my 2 cents


micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24787 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-23 10:21:01
September 23 2011 10:18 GMT
#93
On September 23 2011 14:14 liam33 wrote:
7:
Q) How did the Jason, an underwater robot, assist in the photographing of the sunken Titanic?
A) It can go underwater.

well at least they got this one right

So did the submersible Alvin which they already knew went down to the Titanic. The Jason was tethered to the Alvin and was able to go inside the Titanic and photograph the inside.


On September 23 2011 14:43 Bobo_XIII wrote:
this form of intellectual snobbery in this thread is more discouraging than the insinuated implicit idiocy of the students in the original post. i'm glad that nearly everybody here has had the pleasure and good fortune to have had the right environment or people in their lives to encourage (or force) you all to have the worldly knowledge and common sense that you all suggest you have.
Whether the kids are dumb, the environment is terrible, or something else is to blame, it is pretty strange to many people here that they would have this much trouble with the questions. If it was one kid having trouble then people probably wouldn't be laughing, but it's clearly a large percentage of the group.

micronesia (and any other current or aspiring educator in this thread), i sincerely fucking hope that you are making a legitimate attempt to not only dump information into these kids' brains, but also mentor them and guide them to be better and more successful people in life. one of the most overlooked aspects of a 'good teacher' (especially in america, where knowledge isn't always as heralded as it should or could be in many parts of the country) is the quality to mentor a kid to at least develop some/more will to learn and grow intellectually. otherwise, you're as much of a problem as past teachers that apparently 'have failed' these kids.
This is easy to say but difficult to do. I feel like I do a good job with this with some of my students each year, but you won't be able to do it for many of them. When you are with kids 40 minutes a day and have 100 students spread across 4-5 classes with millions of other strict limitations you aren't going to reach every kid in a way that truly inspires them. If you do you are a God among men.

edit: if this offends you or anybody else, i'm sorry. it is a fucking peeve of mine for people in mentor/leadership roles that shrug off responsibility... i have this (maybe unfounded or discolored) view of today's teachers fitting this perfectly. i know some shitheads from high school that are fucking terrible at communicating ideas and concepts to people, let alone providing some semblance of guidance to the audience probably most in need

You've clearly been jaded by bad experiences but make sure you realize your experience doesn't tell you the whole story.


On September 23 2011 16:49 Nazarene wrote:
What is the second theory Darwin is famous for?

Atoll formation.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
Kyhol
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Canada2575 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-23 11:13:31
September 23 2011 11:10 GMT
#94
You had me at #3, this is amazing. I had quite a few laughs. You should consider doing a greatest hits. I love this humor.
Wishing you well.
Sm3agol
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States2055 Posts
September 23 2011 13:18 GMT
#95
On September 23 2011 11:09 micronesia wrote:
I'm going to share some questions and real answers 16-17 year old students gave in the past day in a class studying marine science:

1:
Q) Who was the first person to discover North America by boat?
A) Titanic

2:
Q) In what year did this discovery occur? 2050bc, 1002ad, 1492ad, or 1992ad
A) 1992ad

3:
Q) In what year did Columbus sail to North America? 2050bc, 2002ad, 1492ad, 1992ad
A) 2050bc

4:
Q) What two theories is Charles Darwin famous for?
A) pressure

5:
Q) What did Benjamin Franklin accomplish to advance oceanography?
A) Became President of the USA

6:
Q) What was his motivation for doing this?
A) Greedy

7:
Q) How did the Jason, an underwater robot, assist in the photographing of the sunken Titanic?
A) It can go underwater.

Bonus: real answer from a physics quiz also:

Q) A students walks with a speed of 2 m/s for 5 s. How far did she walk?
A) v=d/t = 5/2 = 2.5m/s

Bonus #2: real answer from a nutrition quiz:

Q) True or False: You should eat a lot of food shortly before going to bed.
A) True

And this isn't even an exhaustive list of all ridiculous written answers from the past 24 hours! (never mind ridiculous spoken things) These are just some that I remembered from grading earlier...

There is no such thing as an easy question for somemany students. Every question is a challenge that they very well might get wrong :/

Is it something in the water D:

PS I heard a couple of stories the past couple of years about a 9th grader being unable to tell time on an analogue clock

Honestly I could go on and on but this is just too depressing. No wonder teachers are often heavy drinkers.

edit: probably wasn't clear, but the title of this OP is joking since this is just from today and not even a greatest hits list

Are you sure some of the kids weren't just trolling to be cool? I know I had several friends/acquaintances that would intentionally bomb tests because making A's wasn't "cool" in their little clique. They would brag about doing zero studying because all they can find time to do is get high, and answering c on true and false questions.
Armathai
Profile Joined October 2007
1023 Posts
September 23 2011 13:18 GMT
#96
Funny tidbits.

It's really tragic that they don't have the knowledge that seems so basic to us. I'm hoping that they'll improve in the future, but the sad reality for many is they're past their formative stage and won't change much.
Looking for ArcticCerebrate formerly from @USEast
Gogleion
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States534 Posts
September 23 2011 13:51 GMT
#97
I knew a girl in high school who couldn't tell time on an analog clock either, it was strange
EffOrt. That is all.
iamperfection
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States9647 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-23 14:49:34
September 23 2011 14:49 GMT
#98
On September 23 2011 18:36 gullberg wrote:
These kids are most likely trolling (I did most of the time on surveys) because I fear for humanity if they were serious.


Yes i think these are just the greatest trolls of all time.

However i do remember an incident when i was in school were it was very hard for some of my classmates to find canada on a map. In their defense it was a big map.
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=406168&currentpage=78#1551
CryMore
Profile Joined March 2010
United States497 Posts
September 23 2011 15:18 GMT
#99
I hope you are failing these kids and handing them out burger king applications and self-made brochures of county jails.
"What wins? 3-base Protoss or 2-base Zerg?" "1-base Terran"
Hesmyrr
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada5776 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-23 15:29:59
September 23 2011 15:27 GMT
#100
2:
Q) In what year did this discovery occur? 2050bc, 1002ad, 1492ad, or 1992ad
A) 1992ad

3:
Q) In what year did Columbus sail to North America? 2050bc, 2002ad, 1492ad, 1992ad
A) 2050bc

WTF?

@Nikon
Actually no, because the answer is not Columbus for the first question.
"If watching the MSL finals makes you a progamer, then anyone in Korea can do it." - Ha Tae Ki
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