First off, the Girl Blog.
It is some kind of tradition for the frustrated Teamliquidian to write about his girl concerns in a blog, this will be the same.
I have no idea why, but some voice inside my head keeps telling me to fall in love: A voice that resembles the feeling of hunger. I don't know why this happens but it's still there.
However, i just can't seem to find that girl; my mind first tells me to fall in love ASAP and then goes around saying 'not that one' 'nope' 'not that one either' 'not for you' etc.
The thing is, i don't find that i can love most girls because i feel way to different to them: I was educated by myself, steering away from societal concepts of 'mature', 'well-mannered' and alikes, because i didn't learn by experience, but by reading.
Yup, books have been my friends for a longer time than humans, and i still don't fully know how to treat anyone, let alone a girl. I usually think a lot, i'm very serious and doubt about everything, but i haven't seen very many girls that like that kind of stuff (usually they like the funny type guy that shows confidence in every action they perform -- If i have confidence, i don't show it, and i probably don't).
When i see a girl that looks like i would like her, i go and talk to her somehow, but after meeting and getting to know her more deeply, i simply lose interest, for some reason. Is it because of my ego? I consider myself to be an intelligent person and maybe i deprecate most girls because they don't think as much.
Or maybe I'm just too different to them to be able to talk closely? Not a great while ago, i met a girl, who seemed to be more intelligent than the rest of women in my grade (high school), but i somehow lost interest in her as well. Is it that i just refuse to put an effort into seeing someone's qualities? I appreciate my friends who are girls, but somehow don't feel any attraction to her; besides, most of them have had quite stable relationships for one year or more.
Do i just have to wait for someone who has that sparkle that ignites my fire? Or am I doing something wrong?
Secondly in my list: Nasty Neighbours
In the past, i made the mistake of gaming at too high of a level (with speakers instead of a headset). And my neighbours got pissed off. Now that i turn the volume down, and maybe will purchase a headset to game silently.
But the Neighbours (more exactly the ones immediately avobe my flat) don't forgive. They have now started fighting some sort of guerrilla war, in which, when i go to sleep, they attempt to drive me crazy by knocking on the floor, letting their dogs loose in the room over mine, and talking in high volumes.
I have considered moving to my grandma's house: It is closer to my school, the neighbours aren't shit there and i will be able to sleep well once again. However, i wouldn't be able to take my computer there, and i would have to use a really slow internet connection in a Laptop with a Core 2 Duo and integrated graphics. So i'm waiting to when i build my own computer (thanks to Myrmidon and FragKrag, among others, for the advice!) so that i can take it to my grandma's.