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Some professors cut the bullshit and start ram-rodding material down your throat on day 1. Others feel the need to audition for their students' respect with trivia and life lessons and self-deprecating humor that no one laughs at. Some kids hate it when professors pussyfoot around, but most of them probably have trouble hitting the books after the lecture is over. Can you imagine studying without music or overpriced coffee? If I were a professor I'd beat around the bush plenty, because preaching to undergrads can't be terribly fun.
To be fair, some professors are just goobers, and deserve their ridicule to some extent. A lot of professors are goobers, actually. It takes a good bit of goober to devote yourself to some obscure slice of academia and forgo the blisteringly exciting lifestyles of the corporate office and the food and service industries. But nothing brightens my day like a goofy asian guy puttering through integral calculus and shitty jokes in broken english. Good teachers are nice, but honestly, if I'm going to blow off studying anyways I might as well get a kick out of the lectures.
I'd probably do better in school if I focused more on learning, and if every other class I took didn't have a disgustingly attractive redhead in it. But such is college, the great procrastination game, a race to not grow up and also get laid. I certainly feel I've matured since elementary school, but I can't imagine myself ever being a legitimate adult. For instance, I have a part-time job in addition to my classes, I work out almost every day, I'm learning to cook, and I'm saving my change to buy a TV or something. Pretty standard white collar adult stuff. Yet I still masturbate like a fiend, spend way too much money on drugs, think that one day I could be a rock star, and several other things I'd rather not mention. I just can't take myself seriously, no matter how responsible I am on a day-to-day basis.
This one time I went to a Korean place with some friends, and this Korean girl from one of my classes was there with one of her friends. We exchanged awkward glances and then kept to ourselves, but the important thing was that a legit Korean girl had seen me at a legit Korean restaurant, legitimizing myself as a connoisseur of Korean culture. I decided to sit next to her the next day and spit some game. When the time came I took my seat and opened fire:
"Hey, were you at Mong Chon the other day?"
"...what?"
"Mong Chon, the Korean place on Harvey."
"...no"
"Oh...sorry"
And just like that, my fake koreaboo self had confused a generic asian chick for a cute girl in one of my classes.
"Oh, do you mean the takeout place?"
"Yeah yeah, I thought I saw you there."
"Haha I don't know the name of it I just go there.
"Haha. What's your name?
At this point her accent obscured her already hard-to-grasp name, and instead of clarifying, I just kept on keeping on, my relief at knowing who I was talking to fading quickly.
"My name's Austin, nice to meet you."
In the following awkward silence I proceeded to fumble my pencil and had to get out of my chair to get it, and we never spoke again.
Say what you will about being an awkward fuck, it's not too bad all things considered. Sure, you don't exactly wallow in poontang, but once you learn to take it in stride it's actually pretty fun. It's absolutely unacceptable the mirth I get from weirding people out using only my poorly concocted sentences and halting conversation. I can almost hear people think, "How did this idiot get into college, let alone graduate high school?" But that's the thing, I've managed to be relatively successful in life in spite of myself, and there's no reason I won't keep bumbling on through life, miraculously emarging from each trial with a roof over my head and food on the table. Maybe people will think me a fool, but I really am, and I can't blame them for thinking so.
  
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Hahaha one of the best blogs I've read, mainly because I can relate so much. Isn't being awkward hilarious?? I laugh all the time at myself when I'm talking to people because of how ridiculous and awkward some things I say are, and then me bursting into laughter right after just makes it more awkward and consequently more hilarious, so I end up just laughing hysterically while the other person smiles awkwardly because they're just confused.
On September 13 2011 16:01 wootasaurus wrote:
In the following awkward silence I proceeded to fumble my pencil and had to get out of my chair to get it, and we never spoke again.
Oh god, this sentence got me good. I had a nice, long chuckle at that. I've been there so many times.... Then afterwards you'll still see them walking around campus and you both know that you know each other but you also realize you don't have anything to say to them so you don't know whether to smile at them or just not acknowledge them at all..... THEN you have another class with them and you end up being grouped up on a project so you're forced to talk to them and have to just pretend there wasn't like a year of awkward times you passed them on campus and never said anything....
Hahaha, oh man, living the life right?
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Ahhhhh fobs 
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Hahah this blog really made me laugh,thank you.
I'm quite socialy awkward to people as well,often silent in a group and drop a line here and there when I have something to contribute to the conversation just so people wouldn't look at me to wiered.A lot of people think I'm smarter than I actually am because of that.
The most awkward thing is when someone at college asks me what are my plans for the weekend and I say that I'm gonna probably sleep and watch starcraft.I get a lot of:"Hahaha.....no seriously,what are you up too?" or something like that.
Sometimes I think if it weren't for my girlfriend I would just wake up 40 years older and still sleepy as fuck.
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On September 13 2011 16:01 wootasaurus wrote:
I can almost hear people think, "How did this idiot get into college, let alone graduate high school?"
Just thought I'd let you know that you reversed the order of the two qualities in this sentence. It should be "How did this idiot graduate high school, let alone get into college?" Unless you intended that graduating high school is harder to do than getting into college. 
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United Kingdom10823 Posts
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I have the same first name, and I too think redhead girls can be extremely hot. Stop copying me ><
All of my professors, though, are pretty cool.
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ill give you a tip, when your talking to university girls drop the word 'babe' every 5 minutes it works everytime.
i think your only problem is your conversation skill, instead of watching tastosis or husky making the biggest nerd jokes ever, spend your free time creating two separate characters in your head, and play out a conversation between the two. make sure the characters have the exact same personality that you want to have yourself
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That was a cool read. I really like your writing style.
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lol so many things I agree with!
I love the awkwardness. It's one of those odd feelings you can't describe completely, yet people who experienced it know exactly what it's about.
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EPT
