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My childhood best friend attends college in South Florida, so we try and Skype regularly for fear of losing touch with what’s happening in our lives.
Last night the topic turned to something interesting we did at the beginning of middle school. We wrote letters to ourselves to read after graduating high school - Cool idea, right?! Her mom encouraged us to do this, and promised she’d keep the letters safe for the seven years that followed. She did, and those letters are like little flashbacks of my childhood during that time period. I really appreciate having something like this to laugh and reminisce over.
Anyway, we had just started middle school at the time of writing these silly things, and had long forgotten about them as seniors preparing for college. Let me just say: they were bad. They involved lists of things I liked at the time… Pokemon, Playstation, Neopets, Harry Potter, swimming, playing manhunt, mint chocolate chip ice cream, chik-fil-a, the color brown (it was my favorite color for years, idk.) and of course, my childhood crush, James.
We lived in the same neighborhood. He was a grade older, and oh-SO-dreamy. Our cul-de-sacs were even on the same street as each other, and I thought that meant we were soul mates. I’ll never forget the first time he invited me over to play his Playstation 2. He said he had Kingdom Hearts. I was so jealous. In my letter I described this as “the best day EVER” in some rather embarrassing detail.
I won’t copy the god awful description my young self wrote of this day, but here’s a paraphrased version:
I was one of those typical latch-key kids who walked home from school every day. On this particular day, he was waiting for me in the bushes outside my house, and attempted to scare me when I got home (what a creep, little did he know – I strived to be fearless!). It DID scare me, but I did my best to pretend my reaction was fake. His mom made us pizza rolls that afternoon and I was almost certain he liked liked me.
We were certainly going to get married, and in my letter I boldly stated that after our 7 year courtship we would definitely be engaged before heading off to the same college. I was going to include this letter in our wedding vows. He was perfect for me, after all! We had the same interests. Pizza rolls AND Kingdom Hearts. Later, he would eventually come over to play Grand Theft Auto and Twisted Metal (his mom didn’t buy him anything she considered violent, and our friendship consisted of mostly playing video games at my house). Our courtship lasted forever in middle school terms, a whole 6 months in the 8th grade. He broke my heart, which led to us drifting apart in high school. Typical!
This brings me to a conversation I had with my best friend via Skype recently. She laughed at how we knew EXACTLY what we wanted in middle/high school and made it very clear. At the time, we thought these were realistic wants. Pshhh. That’s why looking back on that letter brings back such fond memories.
Nearing the end of college (especially her, she didn’t change her major halfway through -_-), we decided to come up with an equally ridiculous and impossible combination of traits we’d like to find in one perfect guy. Perfect follow up to a previous shitty boy blog. This is my not-so-serious list:
- Thinks I’m absolutely beautiful. Other women simply do not exist.
- Intelligent in areas that I am not.
- Not a picky eater.
- Enjoys outdoorsy things, has an active lifestyle.
- Appreciation for similar interests. (Ex: Esports, Sc2)
- Not a pushover.
- Witty/sarcastic sense of humor.
- Wants children eventually, confident in becoming a father someday.
- Willing to watch and enjoy the cheesiness of True Blood and the bro-ness of Entourage with me.
- Only drinks diet versions of soft drinks.
- Same sexual, uh, interests?! LOL.
- Coffee lover.
- Enjoys traveling and being adventurous (like trying something random. Ex: Fencing lessons.)
- Has a competitive nature.
- Not feminine at all.
- Alpha males are attractive, although d-bags are not.
- Has a passion for something. Anything.
- In the age range of 23-26
- Finds assembling stuff from Ikea satisfying, like I do.
- The ability to debate with me on an intellectual level, no matter how significant/meaningless the topic may be.
- Avoids cracking their knuckles. Ugh.
- Respects my hectic schedule and works around it.
- Thinks pickles are disgusting, and ketchup is awesome.
- Loyal to friends and family.
- Tells me when I’m wrong, at the right times. Not all the time.
- Loves large, long haired, orange cats.
You’ll notice that nothing on my list is superficial. It mentions nothing related to finances, or social status. I’m not shallow, at all. Although, this list is purely for fun. It’s not meant to be taken completely seriously, because it is impossible. I don’t go around describing this as the absolute standard.
So, with that in mind, what would be on YOUR list of characteristics if you could have your own ridiculous combination of traits in a guy or girl?
  
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wow this is crazy bc i love japanese video games, expensive systems, fantasy stories, social games, athletic activities, dessert flavors, fast food restaurants, certain colors, attractive members of the opposite sex, role playing video games, italian food, internet chat programs, the act of writing, beautiful people, knowledge, food, things that aren't indoors, confidence, sarcasm, wit, children, television shows, liquids that are drinkable, sexual intercourse, loyalty, pets, and remembering childhood as well... we must be sole mates.
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Smix
United States4549 Posts
Hahaha that is a crazy long list!
I have a few non-negotiables... 1) has to have their life straight, has good work ethic 2) doesn't judge 3) confidence, not cockiness 4) honest/loyal and for 5), we have a similar one - has to have a passion in life. nothing so unattractive as someone who has no passions...
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On September 05 2011 13:37 Smix wrote:
Hahaha that is a crazy long list!
I have a few non-negotiables... 1) has to have their life straight, has good work ethic 2) doesn't judge 3) confidence, not cockiness 4) honest/loyal and for 5), we have a similar one - has to have a passion in life. nothing so unattractive as someone who has no passions...
Yes, I agree with all of your non-negotiables on serious note. I can't even consider dating someone who doesn't have their life straight!
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Shite, I'm your man. Except for the not cracking my knuckles part, so i guess it just isn't meant to be.
edit: of course I'm also not an alpha-male when baller's in the room.
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You had fucking awesome taste in food then if nothing else...mint chocolate chip and Chik-fil-a are awesome.
edit- also why do you care if they drink regular soft drinks? Not like it's going in your body or anything.
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On September 05 2011 13:57 DystopiaX wrote:
You had fucking awesome taste in food then if nothing else...mint chocolate chip and Chik-fil-a are awesome.
edit- also why do you care if they drink regular soft drinks? Not like it's going in your body or anything.
Right, but I'd like the guy to care. Personally, I'd rather eat my carbs/sugar/calories than waste them in drink form!
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On September 05 2011 13:25 Porcelain wrote:
...- Thinks I’m absolutely beautiful. Other women simply do not exist....
LOL. This reminds me how much women dont understand their own nature. I get that your list is in all good fun but there are women naive enough to actually want this in a guy. The day your man stops showing interest in other women and shows has only eyes for you, he becomes less attractive to you. Moderate doses of jealousy will keep you interested. It serves to remind you of his value and without it you'd slowly grow to resent him. I dont know why humans work like this but its true.
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Hey,
I just wanted to stop by and say while I had good fun reading your blog,
a lot of your points are superficial. But this is nothing bad and I'm not here to judge, you should just not lie to yourself by saying otherwise, because points like
- Avoids cracking their knuckles. Ugh.
are extremely superficial - And also grammatically horrible. :D
But as long as you don't be like
"He cracks his knuckles, I'll dump him. Sick bastard."
Nobody could judge you for that, we all have these silly superficial things we bitch about.
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Okay, lets see where I stand.
On September 05 2011 13:25 Porcelain wrote:- Thinks I’m absolutely beautiful. Other women simply do not exist. Once i'm in love, there is only one woman in the world - Intelligent in areas that I am not. Hopefully you're bad in math/comp science :p- Not a picky eater. French food is too good to be picky- Enjoys outdoorsy things, has an active lifestyle. Moutain Hiking FTW- Appreciation for similar interests. (Ex: Esports, Sc2) ESPORTS !!!!- Not a pushover. Check- Witty/sarcastic sense of humor. Check- Wants children eventually, confident in becoming a father someday. Check- Willing to watch and enjoy the cheesiness of True Blood and the bro-ness of Entourage with me. Never watched Entourage, but i could give it a try- Same sexual, uh, interests?! LOL. Check- Coffee lover. Check- Enjoys traveling and being adventurous (like trying something random. Ex: Fencing lessons.) Fencing is amazing :p- Has a competitive nature. ESPORTS!!!- Not feminine at all. Never wore a robe while sober- Alpha males are attractive, although d-bags are not. - Has a passion for something. Anything. ESPORTS!!! Also any competitive board game ( chess, mah jong, poker, go ...)- In the age range of 23-26 Check- Finds assembling stuff from Ikea satisfying, like I do. Check, although i always seems to have a LOT of left over pieces. I say its because i'm good at optimizing stuff. - The ability to debate with me on an intellectual level, no matter how significant/meaningless the topic may be. Check- Avoids cracking their knuckles. Ugh. Check- Respects my hectic schedule and works around it. Have done it before- Only drinks diet versions of soft drinks. Ugh.. why not...- Thinks pickles are disgusting, and ketchup is awesome. I'm sorry, nothing will ever happen between us  . Pickles are one of the best thing in the world, and ketchup should be banned from earth and selling it should be punished by death
On a more serious note, I dont have such a long list of prerequisite for the perfect girl. But I have a least 2 important ones : 1) Touch of crazyness 2) Long hair. Non smoking is a plus too :p
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On September 05 2011 13:25 Porcelain wrote:
- Same sexual, uh, interests?! LOL.
Meaning they must like cock too ?
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Germany1287 Posts
On September 05 2011 13:25 Porcelain wrote:+ Show Spoiler +
- Thinks I’m absolutely beautiful. Other women simply do not exist.
- Intelligent in areas that I am not.
- Not a picky eater.
- Enjoys outdoorsy things, has an active lifestyle.
- Appreciation for similar interests. (Ex: Esports, Sc2)
- Not a pushover.
- Witty/sarcastic sense of humor.
- Wants children eventually, confident in becoming a father someday.
- Willing to watch and enjoy the cheesiness of True Blood and the bro-ness of Entourage with me.
- Only drinks diet versions of soft drinks.
- Same sexual, uh, interests?! LOL.
- Coffee lover.
- Enjoys traveling and being adventurous (like trying something random. Ex: Fencing lessons.)
- Has a competitive nature.
- Not feminine at all.
- Alpha males are attractive, although d-bags are not.
- Has a passion for something. Anything.
- In the age range of 23-26
- Finds assembling stuff from Ikea satisfying, like I do.
- The ability to debate with me on an intellectual level, no matter how significant/meaningless the topic may be.
- Avoids cracking their knuckles. Ugh.
- Respects my hectic schedule and works around it.
- Thinks pickles are disgusting, and ketchup is awesome.
- Loyal to friends and family.
- Tells me when I’m wrong, at the right times. Not all the time.
- Loves large, long haired, orange cats.
Hi, ever since you posted your beatiful self in your TL shirt, I can not stop thinking about you. You are the only one that goes through my mind.
I am 25 years old, I don't have any restraints on my diet, except for it has to include ketchup. I drink 1-2 cans of coffee throught the day, and in my free time, when I am not playing Starcraft or watching Entourage, I love building racks and shelves competitively against the clock in our local home-improvement club, of which I am the president.
I hate people who crack their knuckles and I am looking for a female who is able to reason and debate with me about the uselessness of pickles.
If you are an active person with many friends and a sweet family, then my two cats will also look forward to meeting you.
+ Show Spoiler +
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Here's my ideal guy list I wrote on my tumblr blog few months ago ^^ I'm happy to say, if you have a set visualization of what you want, you are more than eligible enough to get it :>
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lol nice lists
If I made a list it would be like this
1.) Isn't ugly
2.) Tends to be a pleasant person
3.) Honest
4.) Has a calm mind, maybe even borderline stoic
5.) Intelligent
6.) Aggressive in pushing the relationship cuz I am too awkward and dunno wtf to do
7.) Similar interests would be cool but I don't even care too much as long as we have respect for each other's interests
8.) I guess a good sense of humor would be nice too
I satisfy your lists btw. Except contemporary art, art isn't really a big deal to me. But then you see me and you're like oh I'm not sure he's handsome enough. In reality I bet how good looking the guy is is like 50%+ of the qualification, which is why the lists are kind of silly for most people.
Ok actually venus I don't satisfy your list I went over it again that list is like insanely picky haha. got most of it though
P.S: Porcelain, diet soft drinks are pretty much as bad for you as regular ones. Drink something healthy lolz
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Taht's a long list, but I don't think it's too picky. I wouldn't be surprised if several TLers fit your list, for at least 90% of the requirements. Hell, I think I'd score like a 80-85 if all requirements are weighed equally.
As for my ideal woman, in no particular order of priority/preference but must satisfy all to be qualified as "ideal":
+ Show Spoiler [Long List!] +1) Musically talented. Singer, violinist, or pianist - in the first two cases I'd play accompaniment, in the last, 4-hand or 2-piano duets. Basically, has to be talented enough to play with me without pissing me off too much.
2) Passionate about music. Must be interested and enthusiastic, have well-educated and informed opinions, etc.
3) Cute face with a sexy body. Height within 160-170cm, weight within 50-60kg.
4) Decent at cooking - I don't need anything fancy here.
5) Can withstand me raging about random crap in life (I do this a lot)
6) Willing to engage in moderately "unconventional" sexual activity. Not going into details for this.
7) Street smart.
8) Has a respectable career (not flippin' burgers for a living)
9) Good family background - no criminals, stoners, psychos, genetically mutated, or whatever weirdos in family
10) Friendly and approachable in general, gets along well with my family members. I guess I should say good personality in general (honest, caring, etc.)
11) Appreciates ESPORTS and follows the scene (being a TL member would b nice).
12) Plays games at a casual level, good enough to play co-op console games but not hardcore like masters league
13) 1-4 years younger than me
14) Devoted to me no matter what
15) NOT a vegetarian
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Hey, this is adorable. You just described me.
Well, aside from the 'looking only at you'-part. But that's okay. <3
As for what I'd be looking for - someone who
- is uninterested in vulgar luxuries such as overpriced fashion goods
- would prefer an evening with a good movie or a few beer out on town rather than clubbing
- has a cheery, smiling personality
- is in control of her emotions and doesn't let the situation take her head off
- has a humor that enjoys subtleties and absurdities of common situations
- enjoys long walks, bike trips and sleeping in tents or under the sky
- has a flexible sexuality, not simply usually falling into dominant or submissive roles
- realises that cats are superior, and that dog people are deluded
- is compassionate and considerate of those around her
- has a developed vocabulary and is able to hold intelligent conversations
- enjoys spending time with me, but realises that both of us needs alone time
- does not buy into pseudoscientifical crap such as aura healing and so on
- would prefer rustic countryside life more than city life
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I was like 21 for 26 until
On September 05 2011 13:25 Porcelain wrote:
- Loves large, long haired, orange cats.
lol not going to happen
I btw. love the idea of letters to future-selfs.
When my brother graduated from "german high school" his former german-teacher in the fifth grade handed letters to all the graduates, letters they wrote in 5th grade to themself in 7 years.
It was one of the most adorable things i've ever read :D <3<3 (especially since that was a pretty hard time on him back then, parents separating etc. )
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as for the list, i am pretty much modest:
* kind, caring person
* average looking (dont need no model girl)
* should at least have some hobbys in common (esports, seriesjunkie, quiet reading count for that matter)
* should have at least a basic plan for the future
* accept (and maybe even embrace) some of my rather uncommon characteristics
Well, thought i found her some years ago, discovered I was the uneven part in the equation.
Oh well, ill find her someday i guess (hope ? )
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This is a fascinating blog. Love it It's wonderful to see how much we change from our childhood days to adulthood, and also the many ways we stay the same!!
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Hi,
I'm dating a perfect girl who's perfect and perfect. She's like a model studying socio-ethnology and my best friend. I feel for y'all.
A little bragging can't hurt.
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EPT
