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Ill try to be brief because this is a serious issue.. When im nervous I tend to get a bit gassy.. and not the pleasant kind. It tends to be a sulfide-rich poisonous stench that the human nose can detect in very low concentrations. Needless to say, in University exams and deadline work schedules, there come problems. I try to execute my gas exhausts silently, which my sphincter is capable of doing.
Nevertheless, it is hard to stay ninja in the environment of social paranoia that follows. I try not to blush and hope my mates dont realize who it is, but by the degree of smell onset among group it is reasonably easy to pinpoint the gasser through triangular approximation. So a solution is necessary to fix this, long term.
Yes, there is also a slight diarrhea- like syptom when nervous but not so bad - as my intestine is used to pulling the liquid content back up into the Large Intestine, which isnt quite possible with gas.
So, any tips?
  
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Drop stink bombs at every corner of the exam room, so no one will be able to trace your farts.
More seriously, you should try to learn how to be less nervous rather than trying to fix your intestine.
Being nervous not only makes you release horrible farts, but it also has a lot of negative side effects on concentration, etc. On the long run, you want to be able to feel comfortable and stay focused in every stressful situation, not only hold your deadly farts.
If you really can't find a way to control yourself, I guess you can slightly modify your diet before exams to make sure your intestine contains less organosulfur compounds.
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Papua New Guinea1058 Posts
Seeing a physician seems like a best way to go. If anyone can help, it's a doctor or a diet expert.
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Relieve yourself before going into said situations and possibly take something to calm your stomach.
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On August 31 2011 20:01 avilo wrote:
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My thoughts exactly.
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It's most likely something in your diet. Do some research about things that cause a lot of gas build up and compare it to what you're eating.
Usually for nerves/gas, thinking about anything other than the gas/what you're nervous about helps. Whether that is your exam or what's on the back of some guy's shirt or a sexual fantasy, eventually the feelings die down.
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On August 31 2011 19:59 OmniEulogy wrote:
Relieve yourself before going into said situations and possibly take something to calm your stomach.
On August 31 2011 19:58 HornyHerring wrote:
Seeing a physician seems like a best way to go. If anyone can help, it's a doctor or a diet expert.
On August 31 2011 20:06 ketomai wrote:
It's most likely something in your diet. Do some research about things that cause a lot of gas build up and compare it to what you're eating.
Usually for nerves/gas, thinking about anything other than the gas/what you're nervous about helps. Whether that is your exam or what's on the back of some guy's shirt or a sexual fantasy, eventually the feelings die down.
I dont think its the diet.. Its whenever im nervous for a longer period of time(30+minutes), and the stench, it is terrible. This is the real problem. I dont know if i described it well enough but, it is really toxic, it is the kind of thing that when i do it, everyone in the room WILL be focused to it, for a significant period of time. At home, not so bad. But when in school, the toxic smell will infest the room. A bit worse in smaller rooms due to deadlier concentration.
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I can try to hold the gas in me but then my tummy will hurt and make focusing on the distressful situation even harder.. It is a gotta go situation
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I'm sorry to laugh at your misfortune as it does seem to be a very serious issue that would cause much embarrassment, but I have to admit I laughed so hard at the way you described the stench. Thank you so much for that. To aleviate your issue, there is a product in the states called beano that is made to counter gas issues. I'm not sure if it would work for your specific issue, but I think anything is worth trying at this point. Good luck man.
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Australia8532 Posts
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I'm a big fart myself D= and I even made a blog before about how should I deal with my gas in the office... I keep a Febreze dandy.
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On August 31 2011 19:44 Klaca wrote:
ut by the degree of smell onset among group it is reasonably easy to pinpoint the gasser through triangular approximation.
Probably not, you dont seem to really understand what you are talking about.
As for your problem, I would either suggest going to see doctor or trying to relax somehow.
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DENY EVERYTHING would be my advice 
Also be aware of repeat performances, it can seriously reduce the list of suspects ... I'd say be careful but from your account your not following through.
Just goto the doctor, its fairly common but could be symptomatic of several things that you do want to get sorted out.
As for your ass, let em rip ... better a noisy neighbour than a bad tennant.
Buy better food. seriusly a lot of food isnt far from being rotten shit, you eat it and you are gonna excrete it.
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better go eat some beano
eat beano then they'll beano gas
lolololol
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On August 31 2011 22:38 arb wrote:
better go eat some beano
eat beano then they'll beano gas
lolololol
I don't know why but I couldn't help myself giggle from this.
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its better to burn out than to fade away i always say.
Get anti flatulence pills. I heard they work wonders.
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beano, gas-x, maaloft
or you could just bottle it up until youre about to burst then excuse yourself to the bathroom and let'm rip
if pets are allowed, just keep a dog with you. Pretend you are blind. Blame everything on your dog.
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Chew your food better. Or eat better. Eat like a normal meal instead of fast food or junk food when you're hungry. And try to savor each bite so you chew better. Also eat fruits and veggies for fiber. That will also help.
That's all from my own personal experience. I have no medical knowledge at all.
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On August 31 2011 23:37 ZaplinG wrote:
beano, gas-x, maaloft
or you could just bottle it up until youre about to burst then excuse yourself to the bathroom and let'm rip
if pets are allowed, just keep a dog with you. Pretend you are blind. Blame everything on your dog.
poor dog...
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Just own up to it. Never apologize. Fart like a boss.
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It probably has to do somewhat with diet. I dont get gassy at all when I ate clean. Try to stay away from processed foods(grains,legumes,etc).
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United States42106 Posts
Evolution is clearly at work here. When threatened you exude repellent gases.
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When some people get nervous they do get gaseous... and it tends to smell really bad.
I forget the exact name of the condition, but you're not alone?
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Sorry man it's a diet issue 99% of the time...
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There's a lot more at work here than just "I fart, I need to stop". His flatulence is situation specific, which means there's an underlying issue. Over the counter medicine probably won't help here, and while it may be SOMEWHAT diet related, I doubt that's the whole story.
Really, you have 3 options (or steps depending on how you want to look at it). The first and most obvious is to talk to a doctor about it. The second is to switch to a diet high in unsaturated fat, and low in carbs and sodium (this digests much slower, reducing gas output), and increase your exercise. The third is to try and find a way to prevent your nervousness, since that seems to be the "cause" of this disturbance.
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Just fart as loud as you possibly can and put the biggest cheesiest smile you can muster on your face. In 2 days, noone on earth will want to be near you, so you'll no longer be nervous.
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Just let it out slow and blame it on the quiet girl next to you. :D
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Short and solid answer from my gf next to me (med student):
This has nothing to do with your diet, it's most likely an adrenaline reaction.
Get nervous -> adrenaline -> -should- start a flight response which won't work cause of your environment -> adrenaline moves on to other areas -> intestines work too fast and any stuff you ate doesn't get digested properly -> You get those smelly farts and sometimes diarrhea.
Solution? Stuff that works as a deflatulent.
I'm not sure where you're from but in germany a common thing used for this would go by the name of "sab simplex" ( http://www.docsimon.com/article/sab-simplex-drops-suspension-30ml ) - even babies can take that so it really doesn't have a lot of side-effects.
Just go to the pharmacy of your choice and tell em the problem & the name of the product above and they should find you something that works for you.
(Also this actually seems to be way more common than people think here, it's just the stuff no one talks about. =P)
Enjoy & give a shout if that helped. =)
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Try and sum up your diet. You may think it's not your diet, but a lot of stuff can create a gas. I had horrible gas and tummy aches in classes because of me eating way too much grains, bread etc. Some stomachs just can't handle it.
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On August 31 2011 20:01 avilo wrote:
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"I poop myself when I'm nervous"
Honestly dude, the internet is not where you fix these things. Hit up a doctor
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On August 31 2011 21:28 bkrow wrote:+ Show Spoiler [NSFW] +Or you could see a physician  we have some over the counter medication here called De-Gas
Oh jesus, i don't remember when i last laughed this hard. Brilliant..
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.........So if you get nervous on a date.......?
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On September 01 2011 01:06 r.Evo wrote:Short and solid answer from my gf next to me (med student): This has nothing to do with your diet, it's most likely an adrenaline reaction. Get nervous -> adrenaline -> -should- start a flight response which won't work cause of your environment -> adrenaline moves on to other areas -> intestines work too fast and any stuff you ate doesn't get digested properly -> You get those smelly farts and sometimes diarrhea. Solution? Stuff that works as a deflatulent. I'm not sure where you're from but in germany a common thing used for this would go by the name of "sab simplex" ( http://www.docsimon.com/article/sab-simplex-drops-suspension-30ml ) - even babies can take that so it really doesn't have a lot of side-effects. Just go to the pharmacy of your choice and tell em the problem & the name of the product above and they should find you something that works for you. (Also this actually seems to be way more common than people think here, it's just the stuff no one talks about. =P) Enjoy & give a shout if that helped. =)
Be sure to go ask your doctor about this first though :p. TL is good for getting some ideas about medical help, but in no way should substitute an actual physician.
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imagine getting nervous during sex.
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Has anyone ever fainted when you've farted?
Take some anti-fart pills is all I can suggest.
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I'm gonna have to say it's the mindset in this situation. I'm not sure where you have to start, but you're gonna have to disconnect the keyword" gas" with "stress" and somehow train your mind because at the end of the day, it's the your brain that controls the body.
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On September 02 2011 05:10 Venus.exe wrote:
I'm gonna have to say it's the mindset in this situation. I'm not sure where you have to start, but you're gonna have to disconnect the keyword" gas" with "stress" and somehow train your mind because at the end of the day, it's the your brain that controls the body.
yes, you can definitely control when you get sick
BRILLIANT IDEA!
Go to a doctor or learn how to not get nervous.
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I am sorry , i really am but you just made my bad , i loled.
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On September 02 2011 05:49 Nemesis wrote:Show nested quote +On September 02 2011 05:10 Venus.exe wrote:
I'm gonna have to say it's the mindset in this situation. I'm not sure where you have to start, but you're gonna have to disconnect the keyword" gas" with "stress" and somehow train your mind because at the end of the day, it's the your brain that controls the body. yes, you can definitely control when you get sick BRILLIANT IDEA! Go to a doctor or learn how to not get nervous.
No need to shut down my suggestion. Obviously your logic and my logic are not quite the same. What this guy has is psychological. Being "gassy" because of nervousness is not a physical illness. When physical and psychological links together, I'd say don't disregard digging into the psychological aspects of this problem.
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i always found it easiest to just stop caring, like plant one and when someone gives u that look just give em one right back that says, yeah, that was me! take it in brother!
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This blog shall become legend. It shall become the gretorp of blogs.
If you don't give a shit what you're reading, well... read Poison Farts when Nervous.
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On August 31 2011 19:44 Klaca wrote:
but by the degree of smell onset among group it is reasonably easy to pinpoint the gasser through triangular approximation.
I find serious words, hard to take serious in this context 
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/ORmWi.jpg)
