Alright homies, since this is #5 for me, I wanted to make it a good one. And holy shit did I ever succeed (maybe). This isn’t a long game but its one of the silliest ones I’ve ever played. Considering how many proxy hatcheries and mass DT recalls I’ve done in my life, I feel like that says a fair bit. But I must warn you, this game features what is quite possibly the dumbest and overall worst mistakes anyone has ever made under any circumstances. Just know now that if you ever had even the smallest shred of respect for me as a human being, it be gone after this game in all likelihood.
Also for some reason I decided I wanted this to be my 1500th post so I made like 50 posts last night. >_> Edit: I actually didn't know you get a new picture for 1500! But I have a queen now. =)
Again, I slapped everything in a spoiler so I don’t have to scroll like a madman to read comments on this thing. Gogogo
It’s a ZvT on Grand Line, just like every other game I’ve played since I figured out how to host a few days ago. For whatever reason, a wee bit of the right side of the screen got cut off in all these pictures. If supply counts arouse you, I am sorry.
Hokay so he’s going factory, didn’t wall, and he stopped producing from his barracks after one marine. I’ve been trying very hard to overcome my old, totally bullshit ways but if there was ever a player begging to be all-in-ling’d, it was this guy. “Pay no attention to the man behind the nothing at all!” - This guy
I’ve got 8 lings out right away instead of my normal 4, with nothing but more lings rallied behind them. I’m going 3 hatch and getting gas, but only for ling speed. Have you ever wondered what a game of Flash vs Kwanro would look like if Flash had a stroke and was hit in the head by a bat at the start of the game and Kwanro lost both his hands? Wonder no more, here you go!
My lings get to his base and he has exactly as many units as he did when my drone was there. I cant help but feel any strategy that gets you an army value of exactly 50 minerals by the 4 minute mark should be reconsidered. To be fair, I think he might have had a vulture in his main by now but even vultures aren’t that imbaimba, no matter what incontrol says.
He starts microing his one vulture against my initial 8 lings but he’s got quite the project ahead of him. I feel I can most succinctly describe this vulture’s feelings with the following: + Show Spoiler +
While his vulture is off bullying some of my cute little zerglings, I’ve got 4 in his mineral line dry-humping (probably) his SCVs. Unfortunately SCVs are super strong in this game so the lings are pretty boned as soon as the SCVs notice they’re dying. + Show Spoiler [Brief Aside] +
Have you ever seen SCVs with medic support go up against zerglings without attack or carapace upgrades? Its actually pretty dope how well the SCVs do. I remember watching Ret’s stream a few years ago (holy shit nostalgia) when he got 12 lings into a mineral line with a similar number of scvs and a few medics. It was really quite impressively not even a little bit close. Hokay sorry, battle report time.
After about a minute and a half of lings vs vulture micro (by that I mean vultures patrol furiously while I A-move blotches of zerglings), I’ve got all the vultures dead with a handful of lings still standing. With a stroke of sheer common sense brilliance, I do the following: I actually felt dope as hell doing this. Shh.
By this point he has speed on his vultures and, once he manages to get a few out, he cleans out the rest of my lings. I’ve got a few stragglers coming but they can’t do anything so I need to turn around with them. Also of note is that Armory. This silly goose thought I was actually good and had a follow-up!
Okay so the whole time this is happening it felt like there were some serious problems happening. I didn’t think I had as many lings as I should. Also, I felt like I had enough drones to constantly make lings from 3 hatches but I was finding myself short on money. I figured out the first problem upon looking at my base for the first time in what feels like forever. Also I mined 300 more gas than I wanted.
Alright, the rest of the report will be in yet another spoiler. This is because coming up right now, is a brutal, Rated R, Hostel-esque scene. If you have any small children in the room, tell them to leave. This is about as close to NSFW as an in-game screenshot of a normal game of Starcraft could possibly be. Even if someone never saw the game and had no clue how it works or what a computer is, they would still likely faint after seeing something this terrible, stupid, and quite frankly grotesque.
I know what you’re thinking: “It can’t possibly be that bad.” I’m going to tell you right now that it totally is. After I realized what happened, all the dogs on my street starting barking and a bird shit on my window. My 2 year old nephew came into my room and uppercut me in the dick (not unlike Wario in Smash Brothers Brawl). A blind leper came to tell me how obscenely bad I am at this game. Saint Peter descended from above to tell me there was “No f**cking way in hell you are getting into Heaven.” (Yes I understand its a weird way for him to word it and I genuinely had no clue he swore like that but hey, I’m just quoting the man.)
If you’re alone and brave enough, you can continue on to see what I did. + Show Spoiler +
Oopsie daisy
I want to make it clear the I am fully aware that no circumstances exist that could possibly justify this happening. But if it is at all possible to preserve even the tiniest shred of dignity, I am going to try to do that. I did not have the sound on this game. The night before, I was watching replays while listening to music. I did not look at the minimap because I am really bad was pretty sure no vultures went got out and that there shouldnt be anything happening down there.
I have since turned the sound on.
Anyway, even in my darkest hour, I have to carry on. And with that, here is more things that happened:
To top it off, 4 vultures run by my single sunken colony and started shooting what few drones I had left. Please leave me alone, I just got punched in the dick.
Fortunately, he let this happen: Omg what a noob. How do you let something like that happen? I mean, how bad could you possibly be? I would never ever ever lose any units unnecessarily because of not paying attention like that. Some people … -_-
With no economy to speak of, I select my lings, A-move them at his base, and hope for the best. As you can can’t see from my sweet editing, he’s close to double my food (just trust me!) Also we interesting enough have the exact same amount of minerals.
He doesn’t really have any things so I’m able to run him over, thus collecting the single least deserved victory in Starcraft history. Despite his lack of things that do stuff, I think he might have GG’d prematurely. He maybe didn’t realize that my economy consisted of exactly 2 drones.
And with that, I collected his ladder points. As a bonus, he was D+ so I got extra points . Also, this pushed me up over 1700 points which I think is a personal best for me. I didn’t show the murder scv for dramatic effect, so if you want to watch it do its thang you can find the replay here.
On August 27 2011 01:22 Hyde wrote: LOL opening that second spoiler topped it for me, my reaction was WHAAAT the captions were hilarious. Nice BR once again
and it was against Iplaythings huh? congrats on 1500
Is that someone of note? I thought it sounded familiar.
On August 27 2011 01:22 Hyde wrote: LOL opening that second spoiler topped it for me, my reaction was WHAAAT the captions were hilarious. Nice BR once again
and it was against Iplaythings huh? congrats on 1500
Is that someone of note? I thought it sounded familiar.
On August 27 2011 01:22 Hyde wrote: LOL opening that second spoiler topped it for me, my reaction was WHAAAT the captions were hilarious. Nice BR once again
and it was against Iplaythings huh? congrats on 1500
Is that someone of note? I thought it sounded familiar.
On August 27 2011 01:22 Hyde wrote: LOL opening that second spoiler topped it for me, my reaction was WHAAAT the captions were hilarious. Nice BR once again
and it was against Iplaythings huh? congrats on 1500
Is that someone of note? I thought it sounded familiar.
Edit: Ooh maybe its the TL poster? :O
Edit of edit: I quoted by accident TT
yeah it's a TL poster haha
Heh, had I known that I might have considered not all-inning him. :D But I stand by my opinion he was totally asking for it.
Do you know him at all? I would love to get his thoughts on the game and, more specifically, how hard he was laughing while killing all my drones.
On August 27 2011 01:22 Hyde wrote: LOL opening that second spoiler topped it for me, my reaction was WHAAAT the captions were hilarious. Nice BR once again
and it was against Iplaythings huh? congrats on 1500
Is that someone of note? I thought it sounded familiar.
Edit: Ooh maybe its the TL poster? :O
Edit of edit: I quoted by accident TT
yeah it's a TL poster haha
Heh, had I known that I might have considered not all-inning him. :D But I stand by my opinion he was totally asking for it.
Do you know him at all? I would love to get his thoughts on the game and, more specifically, how hard he was laughing while killing all my drones.
lol nah I don't know him, but you can PM him to let him know he's been featured in your BR and what his thoughts are. That is if it's him, I mean it could be coincidental His profile
On August 27 2011 01:22 Hyde wrote: LOL opening that second spoiler topped it for me, my reaction was WHAAAT the captions were hilarious. Nice BR once again
and it was against Iplaythings huh? congrats on 1500
Is that someone of note? I thought it sounded familiar.
Edit: Ooh maybe its the TL poster? :O
Edit of edit: I quoted by accident TT
yeah it's a TL poster haha
Heh, had I known that I might have considered not all-inning him. :D But I stand by my opinion he was totally asking for it.
Do you know him at all? I would love to get his thoughts on the game and, more specifically, how hard he was laughing while killing all my drones.
lol nah I don't know him, but you can PM him to let him know he's been featured in your BR and what his thoughts are. That is if it's him, I mean it could be coincidental His profile
Thank you thank you. I PM'd him in search of truth.
LOLOL!!! i rofled for like 5 minutes when i saw scv with 6 kill drones. "oops..." if he microed well enough, he probs could have taken out the spawning pool too without you ever noticing xD
GG i should play you sometime. KT.FaTe[BSG] is my name. ill be on in about 30 mintues if you want to play and feature me xD
@FlaShFTW I can't really play right now but I'll be sure to hit you up some time . And yeah if we manage to churn out a somewhat respectable game I'll totally get you in one of these things.
@3FFA Admittedly I made about a dozen 1 liners in the GSTL LR thread. But 1 liners are bad so for the most part I think I did okay. =)
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
On August 28 2011 05:27 Iplaythings wrote: My offrace is terrible
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
OH! and
We could only wish this was possible....1 Zlot + 3 probes + 1 cannon >>>>>> 12 lings
On August 28 2011 05:27 Iplaythings wrote: My offrace is terrible
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
OH! and
Did the SCV autotarget drones or something? :O
Either way, grudge totally accepted as long as you understand I'll lose or cheese trying.
On August 28 2011 05:27 Iplaythings wrote: My offrace is terrible
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
OH! and
Either way, grudge totally accepted as long as you understand I'll lose or cheese trying.
Do your worst
on august 28 2011 05:51 bbit wrote:Did the SCV autotarget drones or something? :O
No idea, I probally woulda hung around in game a little longer if I knew you were droneless, lol
On August 28 2011 05:27 Iplaythings wrote: My offrace is terrible
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
OH! and
We could only wish this was possible....1 Zlot + 3 probes + 1 cannon >>>>>> 12 lings
Me making more than 1 cannon lol are you fo rela, cannons are expensive and delaying my core (yep, that's my attitude in BW, I might play more safe vs bibbit next time though)
On August 28 2011 05:27 Iplaythings wrote: My offrace is terrible
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
OH! and
Either way, grudge totally accepted as long as you understand I'll lose or cheese trying.
On August 28 2011 05:27 Iplaythings wrote: My offrace is terrible
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
OH! and
We could only wish this was possible....1 Zlot + 3 probes + 1 cannon >>>>>> 12 lings
Me making more than 1 cannon lol are you fo rela, cannons are expensive and delaying my core (yep, that's my attitude in BW, I might play more safe vs bibbit next time though)
Heh, yeah I figured you didn't realize I was on 2 drones. Even if you super super barely managed to hold the lings and lost most of your scvs in the process, you would be in pretty good shape. =)
Unfortunately I'm gonna have to dodge the grudge for a little bit because I've been playing ZvT exclusively and don't know how to ZvP. Hopefully I'll be able to figure out how soon enough. But yes you will get your grudge even if I dodge for a week.
Bibbit, I will train you. I'll be the Mick to your Rocky. You'll be the greatest ZvPer of all time and I won't even make you memorize a build order. What do you say?
On August 28 2011 06:15 Chef wrote: Bibbit, I will train you. I'll be the Mick to your Rocky. You'll be the greatest ZvPer of all time and I won't even make you memorize a build order. What do you say?
Heh that made me think of that Shine vs Bisu picture from a while back. "Hydras, more hydras!"
Regardless, I'm a big fan of yours and wouldn't mind you helping me find my H key or whatever your plan is. :O
On August 28 2011 05:27 Iplaythings wrote: My offrace is terrible
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
OH! and
Either way, grudge totally accepted as long as you understand I'll lose or cheese trying.
Do your worst
on august 28 2011 05:51 bbit wrote:Did the SCV autotarget drones or something? :O
No idea, I probally woulda hung around in game a little longer if I knew you were droneless, lol
On August 28 2011 05:38 SarR wrote:
On August 28 2011 05:27 Iplaythings wrote: My offrace is terrible
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
OH! and
We could only wish this was possible....1 Zlot + 3 probes + 1 cannon >>>>>> 12 lings
Me making more than 1 cannon lol are you fo rela, cannons are expensive and delaying my core (yep, that's my attitude in BW, I might play more safe vs bibbit next time though)
Heh, yeah I figured you didn't realize I was on 2 drones. Even if you super super barely managed to hold the lings and lost most of your scvs in the process, you would be in pretty good shape. =)
Unfortunately I'm gonna have to dodge the grudge for a little bit because I've been playing ZvT exclusively and don't know how to ZvP. Hopefully I'll be able to figure out how soon enough. But yes you will get your grudge even if I dodge for a week.
On August 28 2011 05:27 Iplaythings wrote: My offrace is terrible
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
OH! and
Either way, grudge totally accepted as long as you understand I'll lose or cheese trying.
Do your worst
on august 28 2011 05:51 bbit wrote:Did the SCV autotarget drones or something? :O
No idea, I probally woulda hung around in game a little longer if I knew you were droneless, lol
On August 28 2011 05:38 SarR wrote:
On August 28 2011 05:27 Iplaythings wrote: My offrace is terrible
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
OH! and
We could only wish this was possible....1 Zlot + 3 probes + 1 cannon >>>>>> 12 lings
Me making more than 1 cannon lol are you fo rela, cannons are expensive and delaying my core (yep, that's my attitude in BW, I might play more safe vs bibbit next time though)
Heh, yeah I figured you didn't realize I was on 2 drones. Even if you super super barely managed to hold the lings and lost most of your scvs in the process, you would be in pretty good shape. =)
Unfortunately I'm gonna have to dodge the grudge for a little bit because I've been playing ZvT exclusively and don't know how to ZvP. Hopefully I'll be able to figure out how soon enough. But yes you will get your grudge even if I dodge for a week.
I'll play terran then. It will be glorious
Unless you accept chef's offer ofc
Chef is one of my TL heroes and a big reason I even write starcraft related things in the first place, I could not possibly refuse his super generous offer.
On August 28 2011 05:27 Iplaythings wrote: My offrace is terrible
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
OH! and
Either way, grudge totally accepted as long as you understand I'll lose or cheese trying.
Do your worst
on august 28 2011 05:51 bbit wrote:Did the SCV autotarget drones or something? :O
No idea, I probally woulda hung around in game a little longer if I knew you were droneless, lol
On August 28 2011 05:38 SarR wrote:
On August 28 2011 05:27 Iplaythings wrote: My offrace is terrible
and you read my mind when you said that I thought you were good and had a follow up lol. Probally helped that I had no idea my scv killed anything at all.
I call for a re (grudge)match :D Maybe you can ling all in my toss this time? kekeke
OH! and
We could only wish this was possible....1 Zlot + 3 probes + 1 cannon >>>>>> 12 lings
Me making more than 1 cannon lol are you fo rela, cannons are expensive and delaying my core (yep, that's my attitude in BW, I might play more safe vs bibbit next time though)
Heh, yeah I figured you didn't realize I was on 2 drones. Even if you super super barely managed to hold the lings and lost most of your scvs in the process, you would be in pretty good shape. =)
Unfortunately I'm gonna have to dodge the grudge for a little bit because I've been playing ZvT exclusively and don't know how to ZvP. Hopefully I'll be able to figure out how soon enough. But yes you will get your grudge even if I dodge for a week.
I'll play terran then. It will be glorious
Unless you accept chef's offer ofc
Chef is one of my TL heroes and a big reason I even write starcraft related things in the first place, I could not possibly refuse his super generous offer.
EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/mDahW.png)
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. Also, this pushed me up over 1700 points which I think is a personal best for me. I didn’t show the murder scv for dramatic effect, so if you want to watch it do its thang you can find the replay here.
![[image loading]](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3292/3058569147_cbd3eb07cf.jpg?v=0)
![[image loading]](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3034/3059405606_246575bc32.jpg?v=0)
