I came back from my best friend's funeral. I dont know how i can go on. We have been close for 16 years. I never thought something like this could happen. We were gonna be each other's best man. We were gonna grow old together and talk about life over a few beers.

He was the brightest person on earth. He would lighten up any situation. He was the centerpiece of our gatherings. He was the most loyal friend one could hope for. He had so much love to give for his friends and family. Its like I lost a part of me. My heart feels empty. How can i cope?

GrapeD

Canada679 Posts

August 04 2011 22:46 GMT

I'm sorry for your loss. One of my friends lost his cousin a few months ago and what he did was he decided to live life to the fullest for the both of them.

DavidLindley

United States84 Posts

August 04 2011 22:51 GMT

Damn man I'm so sorry. It's a very fine balance between moving on yet never forgetting his legacy. This is something that over time, you will figure out. You can't simply move on yet you cannot dwell on the situation forever. Live your life as you know he would have wanted you to live it. Use this as motivation to become the best person you possibly can be. This is probably the best thing you can do. Never forget, but do not dwell.

PM me if you need to talk.

DoomsVille

Canada4885 Posts

August 04 2011 22:52 GMT

I'm so sorry to hear

.

My only advice is to remember that he would want you to be happy and live your life to the fullest. Try to do that for him. It won't be easy, but he deserves that, right?

RedJustice

United States1004 Posts

August 04 2011 22:53 GMT

*hug* I'm so sorry.

You need to start by taking the time you need to grieve in whatever way is good for you. If that means talking to someone, find a person you feel able to talk to. If that means you need to be alone, tell family/other friends you need to be alone for a while and then take your time working through your grief.

You can PM me as well if you want.

Triscuit

United States722 Posts

August 04 2011 22:54 GMT

I'm really sorry. About 2.5 years ago a childhood friend (not as close as the friend you're speaking of) committed suicide on my birthday. It's hard. I still have dreams all the time that he just shows up again.

Just take your time in coping. Don't try to rush it and act like everything's normal; that's only going to make it worse. I really hope you have someone to just vent your frustration and sadness with, but know that TL can help as well.

DusTerr

2520 Posts

August 04 2011 23:13 GMT

Sorry to hear. Life will continue - slowly at first - and you'll be okay. It's hard to cope with losing part of your life suddenly so take the time you need and mourn. When you're ready, start living again (but don't let life pass you buy).

Dice17

United States520 Posts

August 04 2011 23:25 GMT

Damn man im sorry

Words do not always heal, but there is a saying that I have learn to trust

"It will get better and life does get better"

Interloper

Sweden217 Posts

August 04 2011 23:31 GMT

I am so sorry to hear that...
My dad died unexpectedly last december, and i just broke down. Not to say i'm done with my grieving over the loss of him, bit i am already some what on the upswing (waiting for another down i guess). What i did, and still do, is talk alot about him, even tho it hurts like a motherfckr. It has made me atleast used to the idea that he is gone now. Not to say that this is some kind of "rule of thumb" for grieving, because its not. Everyone deals with it in a different way, and you will find what is best for you. But what is so great about talking with others, atleast for me, is that you are able to remember all the good times and you are able to be happy while thinking about the one you lost.

nofAcedAgent

United States952 Posts

August 05 2011 00:10 GMT

#10

Im so sorry.

I lost my best friend in January, even though he wasnt human - it was the worst day of my life. The only advice I have is to remember those sixteen years fondly. His life force is with you now, I truley belive that.

Stay up man.

JiSu

Korea (South)140 Posts

August 05 2011 00:20 GMT

#11

*pat on the back* sorry friend.

The best way to deal when you lose someone close to you is time. Time will heal all things. Very cliche but it is the only real solution. Other things can speed up the process such as spending time with his family and closed ones, talking to your other close friends (especially girls), doing stuff that will always cheer you up, being alone in your room, crying your eyes out, punching your pillows 1000 times. Please don't be discouraged and go emo for too long, try to have a positive attitude. Never get rid of the stuff/memories that you have of him. Keep them and treasure them always.

Dalguno

United States2446 Posts

August 05 2011 00:47 GMT

#12

Just to reiterate what everyone is saying, live your life now how he would want you to. You owe it to him. And I'm sure he'd have to you to be a happy person. Never forget him, but don't dwell. I'm sorry about your loss man. I can't imagine losing my best friend, I don't know what I'd do. You've got your life ahead of you. Keep your chin up.

Impulsa

United States122 Posts

August 05 2011 01:26 GMT

#13

I recently lost my father so I understand how you feel completely.

gameguard

Korea (South)2132 Posts

August 05 2011 09:29 GMT

#14

i sincerely thank you for all the kind words. TL can be such a comforting place. I just came back from a crash site visit and a meeting with all our close friends. There was alot of grieving but also alot of laughter about the great memories we shared. Its such a same for such a soul to leave us at the age of 26.

He treasured his friends and family more than anything in life. He was like a glue or thread that kept us all together over the years. I think the best way we can honor him is to keep our friendships strong in the coming years. He would be happy to see that.

Primadog

United States4411 Posts

August 05 2011 09:38 GMT

#15

I am sorry for your loss. Just know that TL got your back, so rest assure in your time of grieving that we'll be here for you, whenever you're ready to return to the community. Until then, real life comes first.

OpticalShot

Canada6330 Posts

August 05 2011 12:41 GMT

#16

"I'm sorry for your loss."

Those were the exact words I muttered to the family members of my friend 3 months ago. I lost a classmate/friend who was 23 years old. It'd be a stretch to say he was among my closest friends (or vice versa in his perspective), but we had good times hanging out after classes, skipping classes to play foosball, and so on. It was just a swirl of emotions at the funeral and afterwards, but I don't think it took too long for any of us to accept the facts and move on.

Cherish the good times, move on with life as usual - you and your friends will be fine. If you want to talk in more detail about post-funeral emotions, feel free to PM me.

Grettin

42416 Posts

August 05 2011 13:02 GMT

#17

Sad to read such a story. I really don't know how you feel right now. Never lost any of my friends or close relatives yet.

Moving on won't be easy but eventually the pain will ease, i'm sure. Good luck to you and my condolences.

Oh, and i just want to share this with you. Always brings joy to my life after something bad happens. Such a beautiful song in my opinion.

+ Show Spoiler +

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiyFeT0Tpkk
I hope it doesn't offend you in anyway. Stay strong!

TheGiz

Canada708 Posts

August 05 2011 13:13 GMT

#18

Whenever you lose someone special for whatever reason, you just have to push yourself to keep going.

I used to go to this hockey school run by a Russian named Nikolai. He worked us very hard, and whenever I feel like stopping anything I just imagine his voice in my head as he pushed us through the drills:

Come on guys! Keep going! Keep going! Keep going! Yes! That's it! Move it! Harder! That's it guys! Keep going! Keep going!

Non-stop, you just have to keep pushing yourself even in the face of grim tragedy. Life gets better if you can just keep going.

Knap4life

Slovenia333 Posts

August 05 2011 13:29 GMT

#19

You are at a point where your life ended and have to start a new one. Its not easy but it does get better in time.

gameguard

Korea (South)2132 Posts

August 05 2011 14:35 GMT

#20

On August 05 2011 22:02 Grettin wrote:
Sad to read such a story. I really don't know how you feel right now. Never lost any of my friends or close relatives yet.

Moving on won't be easy but eventually the pain will ease, i'm sure. Good luck to you and my condolences.

Oh, and i just want to share this with you. Always brings joy to my life after something bad happens. Such a beautiful song in my opinion.

+ Show Spoiler +

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiyFeT0Tpkk
I hope it doesn't offend you in anyway. Stay strong!

thanks for that video. I saw this movie a while back and appreciated the beauty in death. But when it is a personal matter, its hard to see anything positive. I know that all i got are memories now, but 16 years was too damn short.

btw i love that track. Its really soothing.

[uci] Fizik

United States263 Posts

August 05 2011 18:10 GMT

#21

My heart goes out to you man, my first death experience happened to be one of my good friends who I use to do Kendo with. He was a good guy and suddenly and tragically out of no fault of his own he was taken from us. There were a lot of dreams, hopes and aspirations in that man and I know he wouldn't want me to grieve for the rest of my life. I am sure it is no different with you and your best friend. You need to be strong and live your in a way that can let him live through you. Take from his life the best things so that if anyone ever asks why you are who you are today, you can tell them because of your good friend.