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...with the parents.
Currently on a road trip with the rents from Buffalo to Boston, everything is more or less enjoyable or at the very least, tolerable, except for this: I wake up with the stiffest, most massive morning wood erections, every single fucking morning.
Since my dad kicks and snores in his sleep like a rhino, I usually share a double/queen bed with my mom. Yah... every morning I gotta set my cell phone alarm like half an hour early on vibrate, and even though im wide awake cuz im fucking terrified of my monstrous manhood i gotta pretend like im still sleeping, using the 30 mins to try and calm my dick the fuck down. I try so hard to think of fat chicks, fat guys, spiders and all sorts of nasty shit, but it still takes forever for me to look presentable.
I'm sitting on the can typing this on my iPad, and earlier I was talking to my woody friend, bargaining and begging the little horny fucker to reduce his visibility just for now, "yo man look, you can't be like this right now, can't you please just hide yourself and I promise the gf and Sally and Polly will make you very very happy many many times when the trip ends, please..."
Speaking of which, I haven't ejaculated in 2 weeks. Fat chicks on the street are starting to turn me on.
I hate traveling with the rents.
/end rant
  
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Sounds like you got some really rough first world problems there bud 
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hahaha this made me lol so hard.
not to be lewd or anything, but why dont you just jack it off in the bathroom
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On July 19 2011 21:47 Grim_Reaver wrote:Sounds like you got some really rough first world problems there bud
Road trip (for pleasure) ✔
Queen-sized bed ✔
Cell phone ✔
Worst fears: fat chicks and fat guys ✔
iPad ✔
I'm just kidding, I feel you.
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if you're 'monstrous' then you shouldnt really care, and just face the opposite side as your mom, but i agree. if the morning wood is an issue, wake up a few minutes early and take a shower or something.
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On July 19 2011 21:53 Orpheos wrote:
hahaha this made me lol so hard.
not to be lewd or anything, but why dont you just jack it off in the bathroom
I would assume that during a trip you don't have long stretches of time where you have the bathroom to yourself--or at least a long period of time where someone won't notice you're in the bathroom for a while LOL...
@OP
Just think of it this way: you'll feel great when you finally have your gf, Sally, and Polly (don't get this part, your hands?).
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funniest thing i've read lately, just watch some porn on the ipad, low volume and then erase the evidence, in order to tame the beast
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On July 19 2011 22:34 Loser777 wrote:Show nested quote +On July 19 2011 21:53 Orpheos wrote:
hahaha this made me lol so hard.
not to be lewd or anything, but why dont you just jack it off in the bathroom I would assume that during a trip you don't have long stretches of time where you have the bathroom to yourself--or at least a long period of time where someone won't notice you're in the bathroom for a while LOL... @OP Just think of it this way: you'll feel great when you finally have your gf, Sally, and Polly (don't get this part, your hands?).
I thought people named their hands something like Lindsey and Jennifer :O
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ROFLMAO beautiful blog 5/5
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Actually sleeping in the spoons position is acceptable with family and friends. There was a topic about it recently and yes, there is nothing strange about it. So you can spoon with mom and that should be enough to subconsciously prevent boner from happening.
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On July 20 2011 01:49 xarthaz wrote:
Actually sleeping in the spoons position is acceptable with family and friends. There was a topic about it recently and yes, there is nothing strange about it. So you can spoon with mom and that should be enough to subconsciously prevent boner from happening.
Rofl, that is a horrible, horrible idea
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EPT
