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My friends and I constantly play games similar to "would you?". Would you do Sara? How about Amy? Would you do Jenny? What if her twin sister was there too?
I used to think that I wouldn't to any girl. I wouldn't want to be known as someone who slept around, and I don't see much long term benefit to sleeping with strangers or people one barely knows.
It's a good idea to ask these questions though so that you will have decided what you want to do in situations similar.
Let's do a case study though. A hot/cute stranger girl meets you at a bar/library/etc... She talks to you for a while, you get her name, then she grabs your crotch and whispers in your ear that she wants to fuck you. You have contraceptives. You know it will most likely turn into a one night stand. You are sober and in a healthy state of mind. You are also single, male, and straight.
My question is simple.
+ Show Spoiler +Poll: Would you?Hell Yes! (109) 69% Yes (48) 31% 157 total votes Your vote: Would you? (Vote): Yes
(Vote): Hell Yes!
+ Show Spoiler [ok seriously] +Poll: Ok, serious pollYes (155) 66% No (81) 34% 236 total votes Your vote: Ok, serious poll (Vote): Yes
(Vote): No
The way I see it. The pros of abstaining from sex under (sub)optimal conditions are mostly moral. Some people are just raised to not believe that they can follow through with something they don't believe is right. Others go a step further and think that they will go to hell if they do.
You also maintain a good reputation about yourself. Sleeping around tends to get around pretty quickly.
You don't risk the chance of impregnating someone and possibly ruining your life.
The pros of promiscuity are that you get to have more sex.
Discussion is welcome ( I hope it's not too one-sided, someone help me play devil's advocate if it is pls ). Please to not be too preachy. Kthx
 
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No, I wouldn't. I don't think there is anything intimate about having sex with a stranger, and one coming onto me so aggressively would make me suspicious.
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Perhaps it's my libido speaking for me, but in all honesty (and assuming there's no danger whatsoever of an STD / her being a total fucking psycho), I would probably go for it. This most likely means I am a dirty whoremongerer. Maybe.
Seriously, though, I don't see it so much as a moral issue, because men generally are not as vulnerable to ostracism from promiscuity as women are. It's a bragging right in many cases for a man to have slept with a lot of women, but if a woman does it, she's a slut. I would imagine that the question of morality is subverted somewhat by cultural and societal standards concerning sex.
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On June 30 2011 08:44 Chef wrote:
No, I wouldn't. I don't think there is anything intimate about having sex with a stranger, and one coming onto me so aggressively would make me suspicious.
Yes, you would.
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Why?
What's attractive about someone who is so desperate she'll have sex with a total stranger? Don't you think that implies she has sex with many strangers? Doesn't that make you feel a little used and disgusting?
I don't think it has to be a moral question, and for me it isn't. It's a question of personal preference and sexuality.
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Of course. I guess it's a moral question, but I don't see any downside here.
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Maybe I'm a bitch, or maybe I'm old school, but I actually prefer getting to know someone before I'd engage in intercourse. If I had to put a time on it, I'd probably say it would take like 4-5 dates/hangouts before I'd feel comfortable enough to make the decision engaging in sex would be a good idea.
I've found I tend to get attached rather easily, as I have a quite addictive personality with almost anything.
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Yeah, I'd be more paranoid than anything lol. That's just not normal. And a girl's attractiveness is only one tiny aspect of sex.
Then again, I guess it depends on how skanky she's dressed. I have a thing for skirts so if she was in a short one, maybe I'd say yes :-\.
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If the previous conversation showed her interesting and attractive, then sure. If I was completely indifferent and not sexually attracted to her before she started grabbing my nuts, then she'd have to get in line and wait her turn.
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Even if she were Venus herself, uncouth behaviour does its part in quickly making someone undesirable.
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On June 30 2011 08:50 TadH wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 08:44 Chef wrote:
No, I wouldn't. I don't think there is anything intimate about having sex with a stranger, and one coming onto me so aggressively would make me suspicious. Yes, you would.
I'm with Chef.
I'd probably get over it or take legal action. Most likely get over it as I cannot afford a lawyer.
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On June 30 2011 09:07 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Even if she were Venus herself, uncouth behaviour does its part in quickly making someone undesirable.
What if she was German?
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On June 30 2011 08:51 Chef wrote:
Why?
What's attractive about someone who is so desperate she'll have sex with a total stranger? Don't you think that implies she has sex with many strangers? Doesn't that make you feel a little used and disgusting?
I don't think it has to be a moral question, and for me it isn't. It's a question of personal preference and sexuality.
i agree with this. plus I was brought up with pretty high morals. but even if i wasnt i dont like girls who sleep around casually. less faithful.
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On June 30 2011 09:09 RageOverdose wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 08:50 TadH wrote:On June 30 2011 08:44 Chef wrote:
No, I wouldn't. I don't think there is anything intimate about having sex with a stranger, and one coming onto me so aggressively would make me suspicious. Yes, you would. I'm with him. I'd probably get over it or take legal action. Most likely get over it as I cannot afford a lawyer.
Take legal action over what? Sexual harassment? That's probably invalid if you have consensual sex with someone.
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I would say no just because she was grabbing my junk after knowing for such a short amount of time. If that didn't happen but she was still on board me with taking her home or whatever I would take the one night stand, but the grabbing is just overly suspicious and desperate on her end.
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<3 Chef
No, and as soon as I read the description the word "whore" immediately crossed my mind. There's virtue in sleeping around. Simply put, sex is a special and important thing, you shouldnt defile yourself with every person you see in the street; that's self-degrading.
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On June 30 2011 09:26 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 09:09 RageOverdose wrote:On June 30 2011 08:50 TadH wrote:On June 30 2011 08:44 Chef wrote:
No, I wouldn't. I don't think there is anything intimate about having sex with a stranger, and one coming onto me so aggressively would make me suspicious. Yes, you would. I'm with him. I'd probably get over it or take legal action. Most likely get over it as I cannot afford a lawyer. Take legal action over what? Sexual harassment? That's probably invalid if you have consensual sex with someone.
But I'm not having consensual sex with anyone. She groped my crotch and I wouldn't like that.
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First, determine if she is crazy.
The general rule of thumb is that you don't stick your stuff into crazy.
Other than that, it might also be wise to think about the possibility of the affair leaking out into gossip, if you are afraid of your public image being altered by the affair.
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Oh, sorry RageOverdose, I was confused who you were agreeing with. I should have realised it makes more sense the other way around.
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My mind would say "no" but my crotch would say "yes."
Unfortunately, I'd probably listen to my crotch and regret it later. So I voted "yes." It might be different if she weren't groping my stuff, though.
Yes, I know I have weak self control and all that, but c'mon, I'm just a man. 
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i have and i will again.
but each to his own.
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On June 30 2011 08:44 Chef wrote:
No, I wouldn't. I don't think there is anything intimate about having sex with a stranger, and one coming onto me so aggressively would make me suspicious.
I agree. To have sex I believe there needs to be a degree of intimacy that's impossible to attain with a stranger. With that being said, I have two rules for sex - we must love each other and it must feel right. Loving someone isn't a cut and dry process - it takes a lot of time, work, and heart. It feels right after that love has proved itself as solid - the real deal! I could go a bit further on how "waiting until marriage is the ultimate test on when it feels right", but that's more in depth than this survey demands, so I'll leave it with that thought!
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On June 30 2011 09:27 bITt.mAN wrote:
<3 Chef
No, and as soon as I read the description the word "whore" immediately crossed my mind. There's virtue in sleeping around. Simply put, sex is a special and important thing, you shouldnt defile yourself with every person you see in the street; that's self-degrading.
Sex on its own really doesn't hold much meaning. It's only within the context of a relationship of mutual commitment where it has any meaning beyond sexual release and procreation.
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I would rather masturbate than have a one-night stand. Quicker, easier, and I can immediately go back to play video games once finished.
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On June 30 2011 09:33 Chef wrote:
Oh, sorry RageOverdose, I was confused who you were agreeing with. I should have realised it makes more sense the other way around.
Well, I did quote someone and just say "him." That makes it confusing. I fixed it though. Sorry for the confusion.
I'm personally not interested in having sex with people I'm not in a relationship with. To me sex is an intimate and special kind of thing. For someone to just talk to me, basically assault me, and say they want to have sex with me, it makes me a bit uncomfortable. Maybe a bit confused too, because part of me will be flattered that the person wants to get into bed with me (probably wrongfully anyway) while the other part is uncomfortable because it's a stranger.
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Ok, so I need a devil's advocate to join me.
On June 30 2011 09:07 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Even if she were Venus herself, uncouth behaviour does its part in quickly making someone undesirable.
But of course, how can I judge a girl's attractiveness without first knowing:
-Their religion, and respective piety
-Their family and family history
-Their socio-economic class
-Their artistic and literary talents
-Their sensitivity, romanticism and sentimentalism
-Their patriotism, provincialism, and rootedness in their native culture
-Their cooking, cleaning and other domestic abilities
-Their mental and emotional stability
-Their historical attitude and preferences regarding bourgeois family life
-Their racial origins (if not already clear)
-Their feminine virtues (virginity, modesty, etc)
I have a friend who says he won't fuck ugly girls or fat girls, but when he gets the chance, he always takes it.
All you guys saying you won't have sex with girls, you're defying your natural instincts, and they're some pretty strong natural instincts. Ones that you've all fallen prey to at some point in your life. Do you really think you're going to be able to control them, or are you just lying to yourself?
Maybe you don't want to be seen as a whore. A lot of girls get really ashamed the night after a party when they find out who they've slept with, but they keep going back to the parties anyways. They like the sex, the flirting, the dancing, the stupid drinking. Who's to say you aren't the same. Can you honestly say that you go to clubs or parties with just the intention of "having fun platonically"? When you talk to a girl, do you tend to talk more with girls whom you consider more attractive? Do you really think that when you go up and introduce a girl that you're only thinking of "making new friends"?
People say things about abstinence, but from what I've seen, when the situation presents itself, most people don't take the high road. I think you guys just haven't been tested. Until you can say "man that girl was really hitting on me, but I turned her down multiple times and I'm happy I did", all you're words are meaningless.
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I think it depends on the situation.. If its been like a year since you last had sex/had a gf, you would be more likely to than if you are dating someone or have recently..
I think even at that point, I dont think I would.. but never know until the situation happens.. it is pretty gross to think about (as someone said, she probably does this often, thats a major turnoff for me)
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Why would you make a poll if you are just going to say our words are meaningless?
All you guys saying you won't have sex with girls, you're defying your natural instincts, and they're some pretty strong natural instincts. Ones that you've all fallen prey to at some point in your life. Do you really think you're going to be able to control them, or are you just lying to yourself?
I think that the stereotype that men are horny retards who only think with their dicks is one worth fighting against. I don't think it's instinct to just have sex with any random girl who you will never see again. To say something is 'instinct' is a really hard to prove argument. What if I say that forming a stable relationship with someone is instinct? We end up in a meaningless argument.
Physical beauty is only one part of attractiveness. A bad personality can make a good body look disgusting. Even if there were no tricks, no STDs, I would still have to know that I was special and not just another random dude she's decided to bone. Some people want relationships, what's wrong with that?
It's a very macho-bullshit attitude to think all men would have sex if a girl with a nice body were willing. I don't generally even find someone that attractive until I've actually met them and learned about them. Physical appearance is just one checkmark in a list of things required to get me horny. Does she have a brain? Do I like her as a person?
If it's instinct to have sex with as many women as possible due to a biological need to impregnant women, why are you able to resist the baby making part and use contraceptives? Maybe just maybe the 'have sex with many women' is something men mistakenly embody as the meaning of maleness, when it is really just an excuse.
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On June 30 2011 10:02 Chef wrote: Physical appearance is just one checkmark in a list of things required to get me horny.
i really don't believe you
to get the blood flowing to your penis you need to be sexually aroused
and men are sexually aroused very easily by attractive women, esp. if their clothing is sexy
or are you seriously saying that when you see a beautiful woman in lingerie approaching you you wouldn't get even close to a boner; and that it only occurs when you've talked to her and adequately found that she is a nice person, and then your dick finally gets hard?
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Well...yeah, man. I don't see anything wrong with two consenting adults fucking. What the hell else is there to do?
Obviously I prefer sex as an expression of romantic love with someone I care about, but failing that...
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On June 30 2011 09:45 obesechicken13 wrote:Ok, so I need a devil's advocate to join me. Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 09:07 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Even if she were Venus herself, uncouth behaviour does its part in quickly making someone undesirable. But of course, how can I judge a girl's attractiveness without first knowing: -Their religion, and respective piety -Their family and family history -Their socio-economic class -Their artistic and literary talents -Their sensitivity, romanticism and sentimentalism -Their patriotism, provincialism, and rootedness in their native culture -Their cooking, cleaning and other domestic abilities -Their mental and emotional stability -Their historical attitude and preferences regarding bourgeois family life -Their racial origins (if not already clear) -Their feminine virtues (virginity, modesty, etc) I have a friend who says he won't fuck ugly girls or fat girls, but when he gets the chance, he always takes it. All you guys saying you won't have sex with girls, you're defying your natural instincts, and they're some pretty strong natural instincts. Ones that you've all fallen prey to at some point in your life. Do you really think you're going to be able to control them, or are you just lying to yourself? Maybe you don't want to be seen as a whore. A lot of girls get really ashamed the night after a party when they find out who they've slept with, but they keep going back to the parties anyways. They like the sex, the flirting, the dancing, the stupid drinking. Who's to say you aren't the same. Can you honestly say that you go to clubs or parties with just the intention of "having fun platonically"? When you talk to a girl, do you tend to talk more with girls whom you consider more attractive? Do you really think that when you go up and introduce a girl that you're only thinking of "making new friends"? People say things about abstinence, but from what I've seen, when the situation presents itself, most people don't take the high road. I think you guys just haven't been tested. Until you can say "man that girl was really hitting on me, but I turned her down multiple times and I'm happy I did", all you're words are meaningless.
I agree most of what you're saying, but it is possible to hold back on your urges. I have no problems with people having light, uncommitted sexual relations. I only have a problem with promiscuity when a person has entered into a committed relationship, unless they both have stated with utmost clarity that it is to be an open relationship. I personally don't like the idea of open relationships, but whatever.
I have been in a relationship with a girl for the past two years. She currently attends one of the University of London branches in the UK, and I'm currently a student in McMaster university in Canada. Because of our distance, our financial status as poor university students, and how busy we are with work/school, we see each other like 1-2 times a year for 1-3 weeks each time. We are both 20 and obviously we have a lot of difficulty with the relationship but we still try our best because we love each other.
The past year I've been approached by two girls, and I rejected them both multiple times. The first girl has been a close friend with me since I was 13, and I often slept over at her house whenever I went to Toronto and we never had any problems with it. We've both liked each other for short periods of time here and then throughout high school, but we always found someone else, so nothing ever happened. We were always good friends though, and always kept in touch. Last summer, after going out for the night (she took me to a rave), drinking, and talking on a beach (I never knew they had artificial beaches in Toronto until then), we head back to her apartment. She just moved into the apartment after a painful falling out she had with a close friend of ours, so there was like no furniture except some minimal things in her room. We ended up sleeping in the same bed. I didn't have any problems with the idea because we've been friends for so long, but when we went to bed she made a move on me. If I said I wasn't tempted, I'd be lying. But I turned her down and I left quietly early in the morning.
The other girl was a girl with who I shared a mutual attraction since the first week of university, but during the first year of university I was recovering from having my heart ripped to shreds by the first girl I really loved so I didn't have the strength to become close to her. Whenever we walked by each other in school we always looked at each other though. So years later, we finally have a class together again, and for the whole semester she hit on me. It's not if she wasn't my type either, since I had a crush on her since the first time I saw her, but I turned her down.
This obviously doesn't fit what the OP is saying since all my actions happened within the context of me being in a committed relationship and I already knew the girls from before, but I know people can hold themselves back because I have been able to. Obviously it isn't always an easy thing, but it's doable. If I was single, I would have had no reason to turn either of them down and I probably wouldn't have. But If I was able to turn down these two girls because of my personal ideals and my commitment to the promises I have made to my girlfriend, then I find no reason to believe that some of the people that have posted in this thread would be unable to turn down a girl that offers random sex, regardless of how attractive she is and how sexually aroused they may be.
edit: Yes, I went to a club with my female friend to have fun platonically.
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or are you seriously saying that when you see a beautiful woman in lingerie approaching you you wouldn't get even close to a boner; and that it only occurs when you've talked to her and adequately found that she is a nice person, and then your dick finally gets hard?
I'm not 13 years old. If a physically attractive woman gets on the bus, no I don't have to worry about standing up. If I were poppin boners all the time life would be pretty awkward.
Sure, if I wanted to be erect I could get it up by thinking sexy thoughts about a person, but that's a conscious decision. When you're a fully functioning adult it really is a choice lol. Do you have trouble walking thru malls with giant posters of women in lingerie? Neither do I.
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On June 30 2011 09:45 obesechicken13 wrote:Ok, so I need a devil's advocate to join me. Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 09:07 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Even if she were Venus herself, uncouth behaviour does its part in quickly making someone undesirable. But of course, how can I judge a girl's attractiveness without first knowing: -Their religion, and respective piety -Their family and family history -Their socio-economic class -Their artistic and literary talents -Their sensitivity, romanticism and sentimentalism -Their patriotism, provincialism, and rootedness in their native culture -Their cooking, cleaning and other domestic abilities -Their mental and emotional stability -Their historical attitude and preferences regarding bourgeois family life -Their racial origins (if not already clear) -Their feminine virtues (virginity, modesty, etc) I have a friend who says he won't fuck ugly girls or fat girls, but when he gets the chance, he always takes it. All you guys saying you won't have sex with girls, you're defying your natural instincts, and they're some pretty strong natural instincts. Ones that you've all fallen prey to at some point in your life. Do you really think you're going to be able to control them, or are you just lying to yourself? Maybe you don't want to be seen as a whore. A lot of girls get really ashamed the night after a party when they find out who they've slept with, but they keep going back to the parties anyways. They like the sex, the flirting, the dancing, the stupid drinking. Who's to say you aren't the same. Can you honestly say that you go to clubs or parties with just the intention of "having fun platonically"? When you talk to a girl, do you tend to talk more with girls whom you consider more attractive? Do you really think that when you go up and introduce a girl that you're only thinking of "making new friends"? People say things about abstinence, but from what I've seen, when the situation presents itself, most people don't take the high road. I think you guys just haven't been tested. Until you can say "man that girl was really hitting on me, but I turned her down multiple times and I'm happy I did", all you're words are meaningless.
First off, if you are putting yourself in compromising situations like at a party or flirting or clubbing and are trying to stay on the "high road" than you deserve whatever comes your way. If "compromising situations" find you anyway than its slightly more understandable. But every person has self control. Most dont know how to "train" it or simply wont use it. To each his own regarding what their own morals are.
I have been hit on enough times (only once like the OP describes) to know that it is possible to not do something Id regret later.
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Pretty much happened to me. I didn't know the girl but we went to school together, she was 4 years above me. She recognised me from school we talked for 2 minutes then went to her place. We were fuck buddies for a few months but she was fuckin crazy so..
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On June 30 2011 10:14 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +or are you seriously saying that when you see a beautiful woman in lingerie approaching you you wouldn't get even close to a boner; and that it only occurs when you've talked to her and adequately found that she is a nice person, and then your dick finally gets hard? I'm not 13 years old. If a physically attractive woman gets on the bus, no I don't have to worry about standing up. If I were poppin boners all the time life would be pretty awkward. Sure, if I wanted to be erect I could get it up by thinking sexy thoughts about a person, but that's a conscious decision. When you're a fully functioning adult it really is a choice lol. Do you have trouble walking thru malls with giant posters of women in lingerie? Neither do I.
Im having the same thoughts as Chef in every one of his posts.
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idk its pretty hard to determine this kind of thing for me, it would really depend on how amazing the person is; but i would never just answer "no" or "yes" for that matter
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On June 30 2011 10:23 Liquid`HuK wrote:
idk its pretty hard to determine this kind of thing for me, it would really depend on how amazing the person is; but i would never just answer "no" or "yes" for that matter
but would you if some random scantily clad hot chick walked up to you and after a couple minutes wanted sex? I highly doubt you'd think they are an "amazing" person in a few min, let alone after what she just did.
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Btw, people don't believe you will go to hell just for having sex.
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I'm with Chef in like 99% of what he said, assuming I was single and the -only- thing to go by is physical appearance, no I wouldn't. It probably wouldn't take much, but I'd certainly not do this with a complete stranger.
But what I don't get is... Why open a poll and ask about this, and then go and tell people they are bullshit lying and they'd do it anyway? -_-
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From imagination I'd totally do her but if this were to happen in real life. I'm not exactly sure how I'd respond. For me it is easier to imagine an ideal scenario so it's easy to just say okay but given a situation that is less than ideal, I dunno how I'd react.
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On June 30 2011 10:23 Liquid`HuK wrote:
idk its pretty hard to determine this kind of thing for me, it would really depend on how amazing the person is; but i would never just answer "no" or "yes" for that matter
It's Haypro in a dress. He walks up to you in a Korean restaurant and you can only stare open mouthed. The music GOM played when Idra left Korea is serenading you both. You try to talk but he puts his fingers to your lips.
'Don't say anything. Don't spoil it.'
One night stand. Yes or no.
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On June 30 2011 10:14 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +or are you seriously saying that when you see a beautiful woman in lingerie approaching you you wouldn't get even close to a boner; and that it only occurs when you've talked to her and adequately found that she is a nice person, and then your dick finally gets hard? I'm not 13 years old. If a physically attractive woman gets on the bus, no I don't have to worry about standing up. If I were poppin boners all the time life would be pretty awkward. Sure, if I wanted to be erect I could get it up by thinking sexy thoughts about a person, but that's a conscious decision. When you're a fully functioning adult it really is a choice lol. Do you have trouble walking thru malls with giant posters of women in lingerie? Neither do I.
the situations you're describing are completely different from the one i described, although i thought that was obvious
and you can claim that it wouldn't happen, but has anything even close to it ever actually happened to you?
btw, boners are not the same thing as actually being willing to have sex with her
your mind and penis can disagree
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On June 30 2011 10:28 The KY wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 10:23 Liquid`HuK wrote:
idk its pretty hard to determine this kind of thing for me, it would really depend on how amazing the person is; but i would never just answer "no" or "yes" for that matter It's Haypro in a dress. He walks up to you in a Korean restaurant and you can only stare open mouthed. The music GOM played when Idra left Korea is serenading you both. You try to talk but he puts his fingers to your lips. 'Don't say anything. Don't spoil it.' One night night stand. Yes or no.
I'm so sexually confused right now.
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On June 30 2011 10:28 The KY wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 10:23 Liquid`HuK wrote:
idk its pretty hard to determine this kind of thing for me, it would really depend on how amazing the person is; but i would never just answer "no" or "yes" for that matter It's Haypro in a dress. He walks up to you in a Korean restaurant and you can only stare open mouthed. The music GOM played when Idra left Korea is serenading you both. You try to talk but he puts his fingers to your lips. 'Don't say anything. Don't spoil it.' One night night stand. Yes or no.
then Tyler walks in.........
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No. But my objection is moral. Without that - it's a hot girl, why wouldn't you? (Plus, I know what happens here in my dreams - when the conscious morality doesn't restrain instincts.)
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On June 30 2011 10:28 tube wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 10:14 Chef wrote:or are you seriously saying that when you see a beautiful woman in lingerie approaching you you wouldn't get even close to a boner; and that it only occurs when you've talked to her and adequately found that she is a nice person, and then your dick finally gets hard? I'm not 13 years old. If a physically attractive woman gets on the bus, no I don't have to worry about standing up. If I were poppin boners all the time life would be pretty awkward. Sure, if I wanted to be erect I could get it up by thinking sexy thoughts about a person, but that's a conscious decision. When you're a fully functioning adult it really is a choice lol. Do you have trouble walking thru malls with giant posters of women in lingerie? Neither do I. the situations you're describing are completely different from the one i described, although i thought that was obvious and you can claim that it wouldn't happen, but has anything even close to it ever actually happened to you? btw, boners are not the same thing as actually being willing to have sex with her your mind and penis can disagree
You're seriously arguing that 100% of males can't resist random sex with some random whore?
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On June 30 2011 10:32 Mikilatov wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 10:28 tube wrote:On June 30 2011 10:14 Chef wrote:or are you seriously saying that when you see a beautiful woman in lingerie approaching you you wouldn't get even close to a boner; and that it only occurs when you've talked to her and adequately found that she is a nice person, and then your dick finally gets hard? I'm not 13 years old. If a physically attractive woman gets on the bus, no I don't have to worry about standing up. If I were poppin boners all the time life would be pretty awkward. Sure, if I wanted to be erect I could get it up by thinking sexy thoughts about a person, but that's a conscious decision. When you're a fully functioning adult it really is a choice lol. Do you have trouble walking thru malls with giant posters of women in lingerie? Neither do I. the situations you're describing are completely different from the one i described, although i thought that was obvious and you can claim that it wouldn't happen, but has anything even close to it ever actually happened to you? btw, boners are not the same thing as actually being willing to have sex with her your mind and penis can disagree You're seriously arguing that 100% of males can't resist random sex with some random whore?
I don't think he's saying that. He's simply saying that even if you don't accept the offer, if an attractive girl is being very seductive, then it's not unlikely that you'll get aroused to some degree.
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On June 30 2011 10:32 Mikilatov wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 10:28 tube wrote:On June 30 2011 10:14 Chef wrote:or are you seriously saying that when you see a beautiful woman in lingerie approaching you you wouldn't get even close to a boner; and that it only occurs when you've talked to her and adequately found that she is a nice person, and then your dick finally gets hard? I'm not 13 years old. If a physically attractive woman gets on the bus, no I don't have to worry about standing up. If I were poppin boners all the time life would be pretty awkward. Sure, if I wanted to be erect I could get it up by thinking sexy thoughts about a person, but that's a conscious decision. When you're a fully functioning adult it really is a choice lol. Do you have trouble walking thru malls with giant posters of women in lingerie? Neither do I. the situations you're describing are completely different from the one i described, although i thought that was obvious and you can claim that it wouldn't happen, but has anything even close to it ever actually happened to you? btw, boners are not the same thing as actually being willing to have sex with her your mind and penis can disagree You're seriously arguing that 100% of males can't resist random sex with some random whore?
what
wait what are you even reading
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On June 30 2011 10:26 DyEnasTy wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 10:23 Liquid`HuK wrote:
idk its pretty hard to determine this kind of thing for me, it would really depend on how amazing the person is; but i would never just answer "no" or "yes" for that matter but would you if some random scantily clad hot chick walked up to you and after a couple minutes wanted sex? I highly doubt you'd think they are an "amazing" person in a few min, let alont after what she just did.
Eww... Gross. I'd be terrified of her and would probably get the hell out of the library or wherever I'm at just to get away from her. She probably asked another guy not twenty minutes ago the same question she's asking you. I like to orally pleasure my girl before making love to her, so public girls are a no go because I don't want herpes on my mouth.
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On June 30 2011 10:35 koreasilver wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 10:32 Mikilatov wrote:On June 30 2011 10:28 tube wrote:On June 30 2011 10:14 Chef wrote:or are you seriously saying that when you see a beautiful woman in lingerie approaching you you wouldn't get even close to a boner; and that it only occurs when you've talked to her and adequately found that she is a nice person, and then your dick finally gets hard? I'm not 13 years old. If a physically attractive woman gets on the bus, no I don't have to worry about standing up. If I were poppin boners all the time life would be pretty awkward. Sure, if I wanted to be erect I could get it up by thinking sexy thoughts about a person, but that's a conscious decision. When you're a fully functioning adult it really is a choice lol. Do you have trouble walking thru malls with giant posters of women in lingerie? Neither do I. the situations you're describing are completely different from the one i described, although i thought that was obvious and you can claim that it wouldn't happen, but has anything even close to it ever actually happened to you? btw, boners are not the same thing as actually being willing to have sex with her your mind and penis can disagree You're seriously arguing that 100% of males can't resist random sex with some random whore? I don't think he's saying that. He's simply saying that even if you don't accept the offer, if an attractive girl is being very seductive, then it's not unlikely that you'll get aroused to some degree.
Haha, well okay then, that's fair.
Assuming he doesn't use that as an argument for "You'd do it." then sure. =P
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It is also true: you can say all that you want, but if you don't actually follow through with your word then your word is meaningless. This is the main crux of what obesechicken was trying to say, and I suppose he was challenging everyone to see if they actually did any of what they say they would do. Because if you haven't, then your ideals are untested and can ultimately end up just being a naive and weak proclamation that holds no weight.
On June 30 2011 10:36 Mikilatov wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 10:35 koreasilver wrote:On June 30 2011 10:32 Mikilatov wrote:On June 30 2011 10:28 tube wrote:On June 30 2011 10:14 Chef wrote:or are you seriously saying that when you see a beautiful woman in lingerie approaching you you wouldn't get even close to a boner; and that it only occurs when you've talked to her and adequately found that she is a nice person, and then your dick finally gets hard? I'm not 13 years old. If a physically attractive woman gets on the bus, no I don't have to worry about standing up. If I were poppin boners all the time life would be pretty awkward. Sure, if I wanted to be erect I could get it up by thinking sexy thoughts about a person, but that's a conscious decision. When you're a fully functioning adult it really is a choice lol. Do you have trouble walking thru malls with giant posters of women in lingerie? Neither do I. the situations you're describing are completely different from the one i described, although i thought that was obvious and you can claim that it wouldn't happen, but has anything even close to it ever actually happened to you? btw, boners are not the same thing as actually being willing to have sex with her your mind and penis can disagree You're seriously arguing that 100% of males can't resist random sex with some random whore? I don't think he's saying that. He's simply saying that even if you don't accept the offer, if an attractive girl is being very seductive, then it's not unlikely that you'll get aroused to some degree. Haha, well okay then, that's fair. Assuming he doesn't use that as an argument for "You'd do it." then sure. =P
I guess he just thinks that Chef's "I need more than simple visual/physical stimuli to get aroused" is just overly defensive and rather questionable.
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On June 30 2011 10:30 DyEnasTy wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 10:28 The KY wrote:On June 30 2011 10:23 Liquid`HuK wrote:
idk its pretty hard to determine this kind of thing for me, it would really depend on how amazing the person is; but i would never just answer "no" or "yes" for that matter It's Haypro in a dress. He walks up to you in a Korean restaurant and you can only stare open mouthed. The music GOM played when Idra left Korea is serenading you both. You try to talk but he puts his fingers to your lips. 'Don't say anything. Don't spoil it.' One night night stand. Yes or no. then Tyler walks in.........
If the question is 'Do you have a one night stand with Tyler' there would be no 'No' option.
Speak of the devil, he's streaming! *swoon*
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On June 30 2011 08:51 Chef wrote:
Why?
What's attractive about someone who is so desperate she'll have sex with a total stranger? Don't you think that implies she has sex with many strangers? Doesn't that make you feel a little used and disgusting?
I don't think it has to be a moral question, and for me it isn't. It's a question of personal preference and sexuality.
Why does one have to be desperate for sex to be open\ up front about it? If you take 2 random people (not including nymphomaniacs), one who is having a lot of sex, and another who does not have any sex. My bet is that the vast majority of times the guy(girl) who is not having much sex is the one who is 'desperate' for it. If a girl is likely to do something like that, she probably is very confident in herself, and probably cares a lot less than the average girl who is interested for you about whether or not she gets further or you turn her down.
A lot of people might agree with me on this, but I would say people who have more sex (To some extent with different partners.) Also probably have better sex on average, because experience breeds confidence, and confidence (Especially from a guys point of view) is good for both people involved. Not at all saying that you need to have a lot of sex, or with different partners, to have good\great sex, just that it is likely to help out your average person. And it does not have to make the experience hollow or meaningless.
I think Sex is way to taboo in society in general. Sex can be a magical experience between two people in love, yes. But it does not HAVE to be that. And regardless of what a lot of people tell you, even if you have a lot of sex it does not have to take away from how 'special' sex can be with someone who you love\whatever. I can't be the only person who finds it absolutely crazy that it is to some extent 'normal' by some people, even non religious, that someone is considered a bad or Immoral person because he/she (especially she) has had a lot of sex? I find this to be absolutely positively mind boggling.
To answer the actual OP, it obviously depends a lot of the situation. If we were flirting and she said that I might be slightly more receptive, and if we had just had strictly platonic talk I would be more on Guard. In general if something like this happened I would probably be aware of the chance of it being some sort of prank\hoax\hidden camera sort of thing. Regardless of her intentions though, assuming I was interested in her I would not just straight up say "yes" or "ok lets do that" or whatever. I am guessing I Would in some way play it off as a joke, but obviously take into account that the girl apparently is pretty comfortable with her sexuality.
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On June 30 2011 10:28 tube wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 10:14 Chef wrote:or are you seriously saying that when you see a beautiful woman in lingerie approaching you you wouldn't get even close to a boner; and that it only occurs when you've talked to her and adequately found that she is a nice person, and then your dick finally gets hard? I'm not 13 years old. If a physically attractive woman gets on the bus, no I don't have to worry about standing up. If I were poppin boners all the time life would be pretty awkward. Sure, if I wanted to be erect I could get it up by thinking sexy thoughts about a person, but that's a conscious decision. When you're a fully functioning adult it really is a choice lol. Do you have trouble walking thru malls with giant posters of women in lingerie? Neither do I. the situations you're describing are completely different from the one i described, although i thought that was obvious and you can claim that it wouldn't happen, but has anything even close to it ever actually happened to you? btw, boners are not the same thing as actually being willing to have sex with her your mind and penis can disagree
No, it hasn't. I probably don't strike women as the type of guy who would. Or maybe I'm not attractive. Or maybe I don't frequent the types of places where this happens. Who knows? I tend to talk to women very respectfully, so it'd be weird to suddenly grab my dick and whisper into my ear.
If I could say something 'close' had happened, I recall in 9th grade every day after my first class on my way to my second class, some girl from a higher grade would grab my ass and it really pissed me off because I a: couldn't tell who it was and b: didn't like it.
Girls have sexual desires too. Do you think girls get wet from being groped by a random attractive stranger? I think it would make them as uncomfortable as I was when I was harassed in 9th grade. It's not cool, it's creepy. It doesn't give me a boner, even when I was getting random boners from sitting on a vibrating bus lol. It's just unwelcome.
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But we aren't talking about some hidden molestation. We're talking about someone you met, had face to face conversation for some duration of time after mutual introductions, then the girl making a move on you. The OP is working off the assumption that you also find this woman exceedingly attractive, and for the sake of the argument, you had a good first impression of her and find her personality fitting and interesting you.
Getting groped by some faceless stranger every day isn't even in the same goddamned universe as the scenario that was put in the OP.
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Well I know that, that's why I said I haven't. I was just sharing the only remotely similar experience I've had with it. I can only say what I think I'd do, and I think the OP should have qualified 'have you ever rejected this type of situation before' if he wanted only people its happened to before (which would skew results since people it hasn't happened to are probably people who avoid those situations).
I don't feel it's fair to ask a question and then warp it later to make me look like I didn't answer it properly. The question was 'would you' in this hypothetical situation. Not 'have you?'
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On June 30 2011 10:40 The KY wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 10:30 DyEnasTy wrote:On June 30 2011 10:28 The KY wrote:On June 30 2011 10:23 Liquid`HuK wrote:
idk its pretty hard to determine this kind of thing for me, it would really depend on how amazing the person is; but i would never just answer "no" or "yes" for that matter It's Haypro in a dress. He walks up to you in a Korean restaurant and you can only stare open mouthed. The music GOM played when Idra left Korea is serenading you both. You try to talk but he puts his fingers to your lips. 'Don't say anything. Don't spoil it.' One night night stand. Yes or no. then Tyler walks in......... If the question is 'Do you have a one night stand with Tyler' there would be no 'No' option. Speak of the devil, he's streaming! *swoon*
I was actually just continuing the story you started. lol
and I agree
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On June 30 2011 10:54 Chef wrote:
Well I know that, that's why I said I haven't. I was just sharing the only remotely similar experience I've had with it. I can only say what I think I'd do, and I think the OP should have qualified 'have you ever rejected this type of situation before' if he wanted only people its happened to before (which would skew results since people it hasn't happened to are probably people who avoid those situations).
I don't feel it's fair to ask a question and then warp it later to make me look like I didn't answer it properly. The question was 'would you' in this hypothetical situation. Not 'have you?'
I think he was a bit unfair with it too, but you can see it positively too. Don't set your ideals cheaply. And I suppose even more importantly, would be the question of why you put the concept of sex on a pedestal. I like your sentiments but your rationale is a bit naive. It's easy to say things. But it's not like I don't believe you won't be able to do what you say you would do. You just don't have to be so defensive even when people jab at you.
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People are overanalyzing the specific setup.
I'm assuming it is, girl whom you find very attractive, for whatever reasons, is interested in you. There are no negative future consequences, although people might hear that you've done this sort of thing. As in she won't kill you and consume your flesh or secretly have tons of std's and lie about it.
Would you do it?
Well, I don't agree with the premise that accepting the offer makes you have no self control and unable to resist sex.
But I'll try to pretend I'm really cool and say, why not if I'm interested and I don't have anything better to do. I mean maybe I really have to see the last Harry Potter movie or save the world.
+ Show Spoiler [more appropriate attractive example] +, say for much of this forum, it would be a 5 foot tall korean pop star in gallons of makeup and 12" heels, who happens to be Boxer's younger cousin and loves to talk about starcraft. She's really into you because she saw you beat a friend of hers at starcraft and thinks you're awesome.
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On June 30 2011 08:42 obesechicken13 wrote:
Let's do a case study though. A hot/cute stranger girl meets you at a bar/library/etc... She talks to you for a while, you get her name, then she grabs your crotch and whispers in your ear that she wants to fuck you. You have contraceptives.
Oh its on.
On June 30 2011 08:42 obesechicken13 wrote:
The way I see it. The pros of abstaining from sex under (sub)optimal conditions are mostly moral.
Morality only exists in the context of human perception. It doesnt actually correlate with anything real ie. Its all in your head.
On June 30 2011 08:42 obesechicken13 wrote:
Some people are just raised to not believe that they can follow through with something they don't believe is right.
Save for the obvious risk of disease, for what possible reason could it be wrong for two emotionally mature adults to share in the carnal pleasures of each other's bodies, even if its for only one night ?
Why is it that so called 'conservative' minded people love to think that there is something wrong with wanting to fulfull sexual desire. Sexual desire is a natural product of human physiology, little different from the need to eat.
On June 30 2011 08:42 obesechicken13 wrote:
Others go a step further and think that they will go to hell if they do.
Oh for f**k's sake. This medieval nonsense just wont go away.
On June 30 2011 08:42 obesechicken13 wrote:
You also maintain a good reputation about yourself.
What a strange culture you must live in. Where im from, if a guy sleeps around alot, he's golden. Guys will be tripping on themselves to buy you beers and make friends with you in the hope that your 'awesomeness' will ruboff. You will never have to pay to go to any of the best parties as there would be no shortage of guys willing to burden themselves with the expense just for the pleasure of basking in your glorious masculine presence in the hopes that it will net them some pussy. Im not exaggerating. This is serious what im saying, ive seen it countless times here.
On June 30 2011 08:42 obesechicken13 wrote:
Sleeping around tends to get around pretty quickly.
Again, where im from you better hope it does. No better way to get your own little gang of alpha-males at your beck and call.
On June 30 2011 08:42 obesechicken13 wrote:
You don't risk the chance of impregnating someone and possibly ruining your life.
Ask any parent....they'll tell you that their kids are the best things that ever happened to them even if they had to give up on their dreams for them.
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Why would I go to a bar/library/etc when I can stay at my house and play StarCraft?
Absolutely not.
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On June 30 2011 11:46 Kanil wrote:
Why would I go to a bar/library/etc when I can stay at my house and play StarCraft?
Absolutely not.
gg wp lol.
Maybe if I was depressed at that moment, but probably not. I would rather not hook up with a person that way. And the fear of STDs doesn't help much either.
But irl I'm with Kanil. Bar? Library? Girls? Outside world? Fuck that, +2 just finished. I can research extended thermal lance IN THE GAME, thank you very much.
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On June 30 2011 12:08 Darclite wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 11:46 Kanil wrote:
Why would I go to a bar/library/etc when I can stay at my house and play StarCraft?
Absolutely not. gg wp lol. Maybe if I was depressed at that moment, but probably not. I would rather not hook up with a person that way. And the fear of STDs doesn't help much either. But irl I'm with Kanil. Bar? Library? Girls? Outside world? Fuck that, +2 just finished. I can research extended thermal lance IN THE GAME, thank you very much.
wp very nice.
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On June 30 2011 08:44 Chef wrote:
No, I wouldn't. I don't think there is anything intimate about having sex with a stranger, and one coming onto me so aggressively would make me suspicious.
Agreed completely. Sex with a woman I don't love sounds really boring to be honest. I wouldn't be into at all. I don't get excited from bar skanks so this would easily be a no-go for me.
I'd rather have less sex and find a girl I actually want to be with instead. Definitely not going to happen with the type of woman that does what the OP describes... if you ended up in a relationship, how are you supposed to trust that girl. I've always felt the same way for ending up with a girl you meet that's cheating on her boyfriend and ends up breaking up with him to be with you... no trust at all to be found there.
Either way, I find people put too much importance on sex. It's great if you're in a relationship and it's passionate; otherwise, there's no emotion there (for me at least) with a random girl. Might as well masturbate, at least I can do it the way I like.
I'm 23 and I'm never going to get the point of random sex. Boring and unsatisfying way to live your life. Get a loving girlfriend and start focusing all your extra energy on better things.
(P.S : Chasing around slutty women is not going to get you that great girl).
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On June 30 2011 08:57 Battleaxe wrote:
Maybe I'm a bitch, or maybe I'm old school, but I actually prefer getting to know someone before I'd engage in intercourse. If I had to put a time on it, I'd probably say it would take like 4-5 dates/hangouts before I'd feel comfortable enough to make the decision engaging in sex would be a good idea.
I've found I tend to get attached rather easily, as I have a quite addictive personality with almost anything.
You're not that old school, you'd do it like a man and dominate that woman if you were.
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This feels like it should go hand in hand with that other topic that asked about people's experience in the matters they're talking about - I honestly can't help but feel like a lot of people commenting would answer differently if they'd ever been in a relevant situation. And I mean that sincerely and respectfully.
From my own point of view - I'm single and have both a condom and a willing participant of the opposite gender? Absolutely! I'm not even sure how anyone else who's ever been in that situation could ever say anything differently. I feel like sex has been so romanticized in our society that a lot of people are seeing it as something sacred and wonderful - and while that can certainly be the case in some specific situations, there's nothing wrong with getting naked and having a little fun.
(On a side note, I feel the same way about relationships - they're never going to be perfect, and there'll always be stuff you have to work through. And most of the time they don't work out and you'll have to get on with your life til you get to the next one which is (hopefully) better. I think most of the girl blogs on this site would disappear if people just took that to heart.)
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If a key can open many locks, it's a pretty damn good key.
If a lock can be opened by many keys, it's a pretty shitty lock.
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FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
No.
But then again, I'm training to become a monk.
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On June 30 2011 11:29 SaRrAceN wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 08:42 obesechicken13 wrote:
The way I see it. The pros of abstaining from sex under (sub)optimal conditions are mostly moral.
Morality only exists in the context of human perception. It doesnt actually correlate with anything real ie. Its all in your head. Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 08:42 obesechicken13 wrote:
Some people are just raised to not believe that they can follow through with something they don't believe is right.
Save for the obvious risk of disease, for what possible reason could it be wrong for two emotionally mature adults to share in the carnal pleasures of each other's bodies, even if its for only one night ? Why is it that so called 'conservative' minded people love to think that there is something wrong with wanting to fulfull sexual desire. Sexual desire is a natural product of human physiology, little different from the need to eat.
1). From this point of view I see morality as the basis of one's decision-making process. Sex with said female is an unusual choice prompting one to see where this falls in their process. Two things come to mind - "Do I want to" (physiologically speaking that's probably a "yes") and "Should I do this?" (different for everyone). I'm sure a philosophical debate can rage from here so I'll just leave it at that.
2). Don't forget about the risk of pregnancy. I practically had to raise my youngest brother and doing anything that would cause me to reproduce (no matter how remote) weighs heavy on my mind even if we're mostly undressed and she's begging me (which has happened about 5 times - and she cried every time I said no despite how much I wanted it). Contraception IS included in the scenario, but I still wouldn't be anywhere close to comfortable. Save for abstaining or surgical removal nothing else has the 100% guarantee. I probably would have been ok with the pill/condom combo, but then a friend beat the odds and now he has a 3-year-old. I don't care about the odds - I'm not rolling the dice.
Those who are conservative about sex feel that way for various reasons. I feel that most of the reasons center around their moral compass (which may or may not say that sex, under given circumstances, is wrong). Whether you agree with it or not, you can't deny that it takes an incredible amount of discipline to tell yourself "no". My morality plays a role, but when it got down to it I said no because I'm not ready to be a parent.
You seriously put eating and sexual desire on the same playing field? I suppose this makes sense once you rationalize everything. Still, without food you die. Passing up an opportunity for sex? Not going to kill you. One must eat often to survive, but one must only reproduce once to continue a species. This sounds like another justification to screw everything that walks, which then falls into someone's moral decision-making process bringing us full circle!
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You have already voted in this poll.
I don't remember this. But I would say "No".
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
>morality
>implying you aren't evolved apes who are the product of millions of years of fucking girls as soon as you saw them.
>implying the very first thing you think of when you see a girl isn't if shes fuckable and if you'd tell your friends if you fucked her.
>implying your biggest fantasy isn't for some hot girl walking by to firmly grab your package through your jeans.
>implying you haven't masturbated to this very idea, felt a little guilty and then fell asleep without showering.
That poll might be the least accurate piece of information i've ever seen, you are either all liars....or liars. And religion threads are banned on TL which this is quickly turning into - if it continues that way i will close it.
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On June 30 2011 11:29 SaRrAceN wrote:+ Show Spoiler +On June 30 2011 08:42 obesechicken13 wrote:
Let's do a case study though. A hot/cute stranger girl meets you at a bar/library/etc... She talks to you for a while, you get her name, then she grabs your crotch and whispers in your ear that she wants to fuck you. You have contraceptives.
Oh its on. On June 30 2011 08:42 obesechicken13 wrote:
The way I see it. The pros of abstaining from sex under (sub)optimal conditions are mostly moral.
Morality only exists in the context of human perception. It doesnt actually correlate with anything real ie. Its all in your head.
I see what you did there 
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I was playing dragon quest 3 and when I saw this I thought of this thread:
+ Show Spoiler +
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It would completely depend on the girl in my opinion, because there is a big difference between this happening in a library and it happening in a bar. Library, I would probably say yes, bar, I dunno.
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If I'd be the say no type I'd be almost a decade with no sex now. Sex is sex, love is ... a drug.
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On June 30 2011 14:05 Servius_Fulvius wrote:
You seriously put eating and sexual desire on the same playing field? I suppose this makes sense once you rationalize everything. Still, without food you die. Passing up an opportunity for sex? Not going to kill you. One must eat often to survive, but one must only reproduce once to continue a species. This sounds like another justification to screw everything that walks, which then falls into someone's moral decision-making process bringing us full circle!
I boldly submit that these two these are in the same playing field. They have a number of things in common.
1) One is no more evil than the other.
2) Both are born of biological necessity. Eating is necessary to obtain energy which by the conservation law cannot be made from nothing so it must be converted from another form to one which can be made use of in the body's metabolic processes. Sex is one link in a long chain of processes made specifically to pass on genes of preferably higher fitness.
3) The compulsion to perform both acts are driven by physiological state changes, a part of which is a psychological change that gives rise to the respective compulsions(basically feeling hungry/horny)
As you can see there is actually nothing here to justify. There is no untruth in what I say. To bring things like morality and justification into this is making something simple unnecessarily complicated.
Simple: You think the girl is hot, the girl thinks you're hot. You are prepared to mitigate the risks with condoms. She agrees. Let nature run its course. You may want to see her again. You may not. Very simple. 
Edit:
On June 30 2011 14:05 Servius_Fulvius wrote:
This sounds like another justification to screw everything that walks, which then falls into someone's moral decision-making process bringing us full circle!
To pound on this point. Who should I have to justify my promiscuity to ? You ? A fellow man ? What arrogance is this that a man should think he deserves my explanation for why I choose to indulge in sexual relations without intent to marry or forming a monogamous relationship. Why should I implicitly allow you to impose your beliefs upon me by acknowledging that I need 'justification' ? Your statement reeks of arrogance. I will never tell anyone that marriage is wrong and your bad/evil/stupid for doing it. Its just another way of life. No man has the right to claim one way is inherently better than the other.
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The first thing I thought of when I read this was that Chris Rock bit where he says it's impossible for men to turn down sex.
it may not be true for everyone, but probably is for most of us
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I am stunned by the amount of no's in this thread. Sex is fun, having sex with a lot of women makes you official campus baller, having a scene from a porno unfold in real life is incredibly hot. Hell to the yes.
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On June 30 2011 20:15 BouBou.865 wrote:
I am stunned by the amount of no's in this thread. Sex is fun, having sex with a lot of women makes you official campus baller, having a scene from a porno unfold in real life is incredibly hot. Hell to the yes.
Dont kid yourself...a lot of people here are in denial. They are in agreement with what you say im sure. Its just that their respective societies have rigidly embedded in their psyches that its wrong to be a little naughty or to want to, the latter most apparent in this case.
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On June 30 2011 19:35 SaRrAceN wrote:
Who should I have to justify my promiscuity to ? You ? A fellow man ? What arrogance is this.
This is an idiotic argument because you're saying that who someone is affects the truth of their words. What is said should be true regardless of who says it.
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On June 30 2011 20:43 Ghin wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 19:35 SaRrAceN wrote:
Who should I have to justify my promiscuity to ? You ? A fellow man ? What arrogance is this. This is an idiotic argument because you're saying that who someone is affects the truth of their words. What is said should be true regardless of who says it.
Your statement shows a glaring lack of understanding. 'Promiscuous sex is wrong' is not a truth, it is a point of view therefore subjective which means who the 'someone' is carries much weight. If you're going to call any submission on this little debate 'idiotic' then I suggest you bring a level of intellect that doesnt prove you to be of the same caliber.
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On June 30 2011 21:22 SaRrAceN wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 20:43 Ghin wrote:On June 30 2011 19:35 SaRrAceN wrote:
Who should I have to justify my promiscuity to ? You ? A fellow man ? What arrogance is this. This is an idiotic argument because you're saying that who someone is affects the truth of their words. What is said should be true regardless of who says it. Your statement shows a glaring lack of understanding. 'Promiscuous sex is wrong' is not a truth, it is a point of view therefore subjective which means who the 'someone' is carries much weight. If you're going to call any submission on this little debate 'idiotic' then I suggest you bring a level of intellect that doesnt prove you to be of the same caliber.
I said that you wrote something an idiot would. Nothing you said in reply changes that, addresses it, or even shows a basic understanding of my principles.
Who you are has nothing to do with how true something is. Anyone can have an opinion and who they are has no effect on whether it is a good opinion or if the words are true. A king can be wrong and even an idiot can be right.
I can break down every sentence you wrote for you and show you the failures in logic if you like.
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On June 30 2011 21:38 Ghin wrote:
Who you are has nothing to do with how true something
Oh for f**k's sake....What truth are you talking about here ? Re-read what I posted and try to respond more intelligently. There are no truths here only point of views/perspectives/perceptions. You seem far too dense to be capable of any intelligent discussion or even basic understanding. This is especially apparent when you have to resort to crude attacks like calling others(or implying others are) idiots to cover up your own intellectual inadequacies.
On June 30 2011 21:38 Ghin wrote:
...how true something is....
This further distinguishes your lack of intellectual acumen. Something is either true or false.
There is no 'how true
On June 30 2011 21:38 Ghin wrote:
Anyone can have an opinion and who they are has no effect on whether it is a good opinion or if the words are true.'
Lump this in and we have contradicting ideas. What the hell are you talking about here ? Facts are seperate from opinions, since you're so fond of using the word 'true' we can assume
that you intend to deal with the pertainant elements of the discussion as facts yet you now speak of opinions. Opinions and facts for the most part are mutually exclusive, its either one or the other. Your thoughts are like wild vines growing absent any sensible direction.
On June 30 2011 21:38 Ghin wrote:
I can break down every sentence you wrote for you and show you the failures in logic if you like.
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
Please...lol
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No, not just cause I'm in a long term relationship right now but anyone who's that aggressive is probably going to lead me to a dark alley where her real boyfriends are. They'll proceed beat the shit out of me and take my wallet and my kidneys.
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Or she thinks you're really hot and just wants to screw you senseless.
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No.
After I tell her no, she will most likely ask the same thing to another guy.
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On June 30 2011 22:10 ZeaL. wrote:
No, not just cause I'm in a long term relationship right now but anyone who's that aggressive is probably going to lead me to a dark alley where her real boyfriends are. They'll proceed beat the shit out of me and take my wallet and my kidneys.
What medieval town do you live in? It's not uncommon to meet someone in a club and end up in bed with her for the night. It sometimes happens even to me who's still petrified (literally) whenever I want to try to pick up a girl. I need a song, alcohol (for myself) and luck, I never had the balls to pick up someone in a bar, without the dance pretext. Not being made of bricks on the floor probably helps ).
Quality condoms are a must, no matter what she says about contraceptives. Morning after pills when she realizes she forgot her pill or the shitty condom broke are not good for your stress levels or her physical health (having friends asking you for a loan because they were too cheap the night before is priceless).
As long as she has a good time there nothing wrong, is there? And are you really that scared that countless men fucked her brains out before? Why? Any reason other than the age old "do you know how many dicks you're kissing now?"
Every woman I've tried a long term relationship turned out to be a bitch. I'd rather have some fun with the ones that are at least honest about what they want.
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Why wouldn't you? Nay-sayers say no because you are picky about how you are supposed to meet girls, this girl could be something special.. Jump at every prospect,
climb every mountain, search high and low
Follow every byway, every path you know.
Climb every mountain, ford every stream,
Follow every rainbow, 'til you find your dream!
Sound of fucking music up in her' yo!
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On June 30 2011 22:37 dakalro wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 22:10 ZeaL. wrote:
No, not just cause I'm in a long term relationship right now but anyone who's that aggressive is probably going to lead me to a dark alley where her real boyfriends are. They'll proceed beat the shit out of me and take my wallet and my kidneys. What medieval town do you live in? It's not uncommon to meet someone in a club and end up in bed with her for the night. It sometimes happens even to me who's still petrified (literally) whenever I want to try to pick up a girl. I need a song, alcohol (for myself) and luck, I never had the balls to pick up someone in a bar, without the dance pretext. Not being made of bricks on the floor probably helps ). Quality condoms are a must, no matter what she says about contraceptives. Morning after pills when she realizes she forgot her pill or the shitty condom broke are not good for your stress levels or her physical health (having friends asking you for a loan because they were too cheap the night before is priceless). As long as she has a good time there nothing wrong, is there? And are you really that scared that countless men fucked her brains out before? Why? Any reason other than the age old "do you know how many dicks you're kissing now?" Every woman I've tried a long term relationship turned out to be a bitch. I'd rather have some fun with the ones that are at least honest about what they want.
If I'm in a library just talking to a chick and she randomly grabs my nuts I don't think that's normal. If it was some drunk girl in a club that would make more sense, and in that situation I would say why not. It actually happens quite frequently where chick goes around picking up men and lures them into beatdown and a mugging. If you think about it its pretty genius because a horny guy is easily misled and won't be as aware of his surroundings.
Nothing wrong with banging sluts, but just FYI condoms do help with most STDs but they can't protect vs open sores etc. Don't just slap that rubber on and go all in without a visual inspection first.
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Absolutely not. I would have to agree with all the other fellows here who would find the situation suspicious.
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On June 30 2011 22:47 ZeaL. wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 22:37 dakalro wrote:On June 30 2011 22:10 ZeaL. wrote:
No, not just cause I'm in a long term relationship right now but anyone who's that aggressive is probably going to lead me to a dark alley where her real boyfriends are. They'll proceed beat the shit out of me and take my wallet and my kidneys. What medieval town do you live in? It's not uncommon to meet someone in a club and end up in bed with her for the night. It sometimes happens even to me who's still petrified (literally) whenever I want to try to pick up a girl. I need a song, alcohol (for myself) and luck, I never had the balls to pick up someone in a bar, without the dance pretext. Not being made of bricks on the floor probably helps ). Quality condoms are a must, no matter what she says about contraceptives. Morning after pills when she realizes she forgot her pill or the shitty condom broke are not good for your stress levels or her physical health (having friends asking you for a loan because they were too cheap the night before is priceless). As long as she has a good time there nothing wrong, is there? And are you really that scared that countless men fucked her brains out before? Why? Any reason other than the age old "do you know how many dicks you're kissing now?" Every woman I've tried a long term relationship turned out to be a bitch. I'd rather have some fun with the ones that are at least honest about what they want. If I'm in a library just talking to a chick and she randomly grabs my nuts I don't think that's normal. If it was some drunk girl in a club that would make more sense, and in that situation I would say why not. It actually happens quite frequently where chick goes around picking up men and lures them into beatdown and a mugging. If you think about it its pretty genius because a horny guy is easily misled and won't be as aware of his surroundings. Nothing wrong with banging sluts, but just FYI condoms do help with most STDs but they can't protect vs open sores etc. Don't just slap that rubber on and go all in without a visual inspection first.
Let's just say that due to personal preference my eyes were always inspecting first. And I'm overall less worried about me getting STDs than I am of getting someone pregnant after a one night stand. Ruining someone's life for 1 night of fun is not a pleasant thought.
As for your "frequently lure to mug", are you that sure about it? Sure, it shows up on the news but how many just go and fuck never being advertised. Just because journalists are ratings whores doesn't means this is frequent (just like the pedo scare, the rapist scares and all the shit that makes people afraid to go out of their houses).
I've always gone by humans are decent and so far I've yet to get mugged or beaten. Sure, there's the occasional loud drunk with something to prove but as an adult I don't even have to deal with the random bullies that were after my money till 8th grade. And even then, the right friends and you're safe. Pays being able to have friends from all kinds of social strata.
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>implying your biggest fantasy isn't for some hot girl walking by to firmly grab your package through your jeans.
>implying you haven't masturbated to this very idea, felt a little guilty and then fell asleep without showering.
My fantasies usual involve someone I've very interested in, not someone totally imaginary. They also tend to go beyond just sex.
Again, I don't really see the argument that it's natural to have sex with anything with a good body as very strong. I believe natural selection includes things beyond physical appearance, or as humans we wouldn't value intelligence so highly. Apes are so many species away from us it seems weird to compare homo sapiens to them. What's an ape gonna do with a big ole brain? One ape looks just as dumb as the other. As long as you can get around the forest and find food you're okay. Surviving and prospering as a human is very different.
You might have sex with a random girl just for fun, but that's exactly it. It's just for fun. It's a human invention that sex doesn't have to be for procreation, the same way it is a human invention that sex is something you share only with people who get very close to you. The argument that it's natural doesn't really follow because condoms are not natural. It shouldn't be any less appropriate to decide sex is something you will only share with one person than it is to decide you can use contraceptives. Both are choices we make as thinking human beings.
I believe very little of what humans do can be called 'natural' or 'instinct.' Anything that seems natural, or true, is often more easily linked to culture.
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On June 30 2011 19:35 SaRrAceN wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2011 14:05 Servius_Fulvius wrote:
This sounds like another justification to screw everything that walks, which then falls into someone's moral decision-making process bringing us full circle!
To pound on this point. Who should I have to justify my promiscuity to ? You ? A fellow man ? What arrogance is this that a man should think he deserves my explanation for why I choose to indulge in sexual relations without intent to marry or forming a monogamous relationship. Why should I implicitly allow you to impose your beliefs upon me by acknowledging that I need 'justification' ? Your statement reeks of arrogance. I will never tell anyone that marriage is wrong and your bad/evil/stupid for doing it. Its just another way of life. No man has the right to claim one way is inherently better than the other.
For such a rational person I'm surprised that you jumped several steps in assuming I'm imposing MY beliefs on you by saying you need justification. Responding to supposed arrogance with arrogance certainly advances your position. Read what I said a little closer before you start jumping the gun on your "everyone lives life differently" slogans. My claim is that you need to justify your promiscuity to yourself. Keep in mind I'm using the textbook definition of "justify" which is "to show to be just or right".
It's already been stated by the OP that you think the person is hot, you've talked for a while (assuming there is enough in common to sustain said conversations), and she wants you.
So how do you need to justify this? In this situation you don't for reasons already described.However, if there is a circumstance where sex is available and you don't desire it, will you do it anyway? Your desire itself is a justification if there are situations where you would say no based on appearance, attraction, and stimulation.
You also brought up contraception a number of times (even casting it as bold in your original reply). Will you make a different decision if the risks are not mitigated? If you will not, then the availability of contraception is your justification for saying "yes".
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I'm wary of sluts I know, but if I don't know her then WHO CARES?
Seriously, there are no consequences to banging an attractive slut when using protection in a stranger situation. It's basically the equivalent of masturbating to porn, but with the obvious benefits of it being a real person; you do it anyways, no one knows, and you had a good time.
Sure, if she's crazy she can do things to make your life miserable afterwards, but what woman DOESN'T do that?
My attitude towards this hearkens back to high school, where my biggest regret is that I did not bang more sluts. They were hot and I had the equipment to give them a good time, and the only thing that held me back was fear - it's not like they denied many guys. Even if you adopt this attitude it's not like situations like this present themselves often, so you're really only just increasing your chances a little bit by not missing out on such glaring opportunities.
Just keep your standards up. Banging ugly women doesn't give you bragging rights (although I have friends who would disagree), it just makes you a disgusting person with low standards. It also makes you seem more desperate than people who get sex less often, if you can believe it.
As my caption says:
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This question is pretty retarded. The answer should always be yes. If it is no then you should go get checked because there is something really wrong with you.
and BTW, to all the nay sayers:
Penis Grab = InstaGG
This is a law of life.
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morals and ethics are bullshit
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Why does it automatically have to be about morals and ethics? What happened to personal choice? A painting is just paint on paper until we say that it is beautiful. Sex is just vaginal penetration via a penis until you give it meaning. The argument here is does it mean 'this is a great story I am going to tell my friends and look baller with' or does it mean 'sex with a stranger is not beautiful to me.' There's many paintings, and people have their own preferences, and should be allowed to be.
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On July 01 2011 00:16 Chef wrote:
Why does it automatically have to be about morals and ethics? What happened to personal choice? A painting is just paint on paper until we say that it is beautiful. Sex is just vaginal penetration via a penis until you give it meaning. The argument here is does it mean 'this is a great story I am going to tell my friends and look baller with' or does it mean 'sex with a stranger is not beautiful to me.' There's many paintings, and people have their own preferences, and should be allowed to be.
Beauty is subjective, physical pleasure is not. We do not fuck for the sake of aesthetics, we fuck for the pleasure it brings.
GG
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Doesn't it bring more pleasure if you are with someone you love? Couldn't, arguably, for some people sex with someone they love be more pleasurable if they haven't slept with random women? If it's 100% physical, why not just buy a toy?
u bm nooby
How can sex not be about aesthetics if we are specifically proposing a scenario where the woman is physically attractive? What makes that body attractive? It's meaning we give to the body. If you have the macho philosophy, your idea of a good body is probably whatever most closely resembles the media image of a good looking woman. But what if that's not the only way one comes to find a physical body attractive? For me it's often the other way around. I grow to like the personality, and that's what makes the body attractive, because it belongs to that personality. Some level of compatibility is necessary, but there isn't that much inherently beautiful about a naked body. We give the body meaning. We say this girl's body is not attractive, while this girl's body is. There's so many different types and individual preferences, there aren't many universally attractive qualities, and I believe that's because we learn what is a good looking body, not because the body is good looking by itself.
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Ghin please note Servius_Fulvius's response as an example of
what an intelligent response looks like.
Now onto it.
On June 30 2011 23:46 Servius_Fulvius wrote:My claim is that you need to justify your promiscuity to yourself.
Ill admit that it hadn't cross my mind that you were referring to self-justification. My apologies for jumping to the wrong conclusion. Im not so arrogant yet as to be blind towards my own folly.
While idea behind your statement was mis-interperted by me, I must state that I still have a problem with the idea of justification, weather its to you, my friends or even myself.
Let me clarify.
You said this:
On June 30 2011 23:46 Servius_Fulvius wrote:
You also brought up contraception a number of times (even casting it as bold in your original reply). Will you make a different decision if the risks are not mitigated? If you will not, then the availability of contraception is your justification for saying "yes".
The definition of justification is, as you say, is 'to show to be just or right'. One can reasonably assume that your speculation on my state of mind would resemble the following:-"This woman is hot and im horny and really want to fuck but somehow its just wrong and risky." Then my subconcious mind begins its marvelous work of self-justification. "Psht...hey you have condoms so its cant be wrong to dive in dude. Condoms make it safe so go for it you pussy."
Now the following is the reality:-
"This woman is hot and im horny and really want to fuck." Notice the absence of the thought of it being wrong hence there is not reason to 'show myself that my intent is just or right'
as per the definition of justification. My next thought would be:-
"Its a done deal but any wierd shit and im out"
Notice my decision making process works as opposite to your speculation. Instead of starting out with the mentality that it shouldnt be done, then convincing myself it should be. I
actually start out fully intended to embrace the moment and it would take some freak circumstance or disturbing realization about this particular situation to dissuade me.
TLDR; There is nothing to justify.
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On July 01 2011 01:22 SaRrAceN wrote:
Now the following is the reality:-
"This woman is hot and im horny and really want to fuck." Notice the absence of the thought of it being wrong hence there is not reason to 'show myself that my intent is just or right'
as per the definition of justification. My next thought would be:-
"Its a done deal but any wierd shit and im out"
Notice my decision making process works as opposite to your speculation. Instead of starting out with the mentality that it shouldnt be done, then convincing myself it should be. I
actually start out fully intended to embrace the moment and it would take some freak circumstance or disturbing realization about this particular situation to dissuade me.
TLDR; There is nothing to justify.
Actually, the way we think about it is pretty similar. My process would go something like:
"This woman is hot, she's turning me on, and I want to bang her seven ways from Sunday!"
"Where do I set my boundary?"
Setting a boundary doesn't preclude embracing a moment. If the OP's question had been "Would you take her back to your place and start 'rounding the bases'?" my answer would be "yes" barring that nothing happened in between that would convince me she's crazy or that getting physically involved would be a bad idea. Inevitably the question of "to what extent to I round those bases?" comes up and it is here we veer off.
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On July 01 2011 01:07 Chef wrote:
Doesn't it bring more pleasure if you are with someone you love? Couldn't, arguably, for some people sex with someone they love be more pleasurable if they haven't slept with random women? If it's 100% physical, why not just buy a toy?
u bm nooby
How can sex not be about aesthetics if we are specifically proposing a scenario where the woman is physically attractive? What makes that body attractive? It's meaning we give to the body. If you have the macho philosophy, your idea of a good body is probably whatever most closely resembles the media image of a good looking woman. But what if that's not the only way one comes to find a physical body attractive? For me it's often the other way around. I grow to like the personality, and that's what makes the body attractive, because it belongs to that personality. Some level of compatibility is necessary, but there isn't that much inherently beautiful about a naked body. We give the body meaning. We say this girl's body is not attractive, while this girl's body is. There's so many different types and individual preferences, there aren't many universally attractive qualities, and I believe that's because we learn what is a good looking body, not because the body is good looking by itself.
I agree, you can have more pleasure fucking a girl you love than a random girl, but fucking a random girl is still pleasurable though less than with a girl you love.
GG no re.
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On June 30 2011 08:44 Chef wrote:
No, I wouldn't. I don't think there is anything intimate about having sex with a stranger, and one coming onto me so aggressively would make me suspicious.
Intimacy and sex are not inseparable.....
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I would probably say yes, as lets be honest, I'm a man. Man = no self control.
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On July 01 2011 02:39 Ganjamaster wrote:Show nested quote +On July 01 2011 01:07 Chef wrote:
Doesn't it bring more pleasure if you are with someone you love? Couldn't, arguably, for some people sex with someone they love be more pleasurable if they haven't slept with random women? If it's 100% physical, why not just buy a toy?
u bm nooby
How can sex not be about aesthetics if we are specifically proposing a scenario where the woman is physically attractive? What makes that body attractive? It's meaning we give to the body. If you have the macho philosophy, your idea of a good body is probably whatever most closely resembles the media image of a good looking woman. But what if that's not the only way one comes to find a physical body attractive? For me it's often the other way around. I grow to like the personality, and that's what makes the body attractive, because it belongs to that personality. Some level of compatibility is necessary, but there isn't that much inherently beautiful about a naked body. We give the body meaning. We say this girl's body is not attractive, while this girl's body is. There's so many different types and individual preferences, there aren't many universally attractive qualities, and I believe that's because we learn what is a good looking body, not because the body is good looking by itself. I agree, you can have more pleasure fucking a girl you love than a random girl, but fucking a random girl is still pleasurable though less than with a girl you love. GG no re.
I'm genuinely not convinced. Sometimes food tastes good but is depressing to eat by yourself. Your emotions control your ability to enjoy something, despite physical sensation. Sex with a stranger is empty and meaningless and leaves some people feeling hollow and unenthusiastic. Why is that so hard to accept? I LIKE CHERRY JELLO I CANT BELIEVE YOU PREFER LIME THIS IS BULLSHIT GG NORE. Some people can eat social food alone, others can't.
You can say gg all you want, but you're no where close to convincing me. It's not much of a victory to have convinced yourself of your own opinion, but if those are the only victories you find in life I guess that's sad and I'll let you have it.
THE INTERNET.
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yes. and for the only ultimate reason: one life.
you got a better way to spend a night than with a beautiful woman making love ? i think not.
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On July 01 2011 03:56 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On July 01 2011 02:39 Ganjamaster wrote:On July 01 2011 01:07 Chef wrote:
Doesn't it bring more pleasure if you are with someone you love? Couldn't, arguably, for some people sex with someone they love be more pleasurable if they haven't slept with random women? If it's 100% physical, why not just buy a toy?
u bm nooby
How can sex not be about aesthetics if we are specifically proposing a scenario where the woman is physically attractive? What makes that body attractive? It's meaning we give to the body. If you have the macho philosophy, your idea of a good body is probably whatever most closely resembles the media image of a good looking woman. But what if that's not the only way one comes to find a physical body attractive? For me it's often the other way around. I grow to like the personality, and that's what makes the body attractive, because it belongs to that personality. Some level of compatibility is necessary, but there isn't that much inherently beautiful about a naked body. We give the body meaning. We say this girl's body is not attractive, while this girl's body is. There's so many different types and individual preferences, there aren't many universally attractive qualities, and I believe that's because we learn what is a good looking body, not because the body is good looking by itself. I agree, you can have more pleasure fucking a girl you love than a random girl, but fucking a random girl is still pleasurable though less than with a girl you love. GG no re. I'm genuinely not convinced. Sometimes food tastes good but is depressing to eat by yourself. Your emotions control your ability to enjoy something, despite physical sensation. Sex with a stranger is empty and meaningless and leaves some people feeling hollow and unenthusiastic. Why is that so hard to accept? I LIKE CHERRY JELLO I CANT BELIEVE YOU PREFER LIME THIS IS BULLSHIT GG NORE. Some people can eat social food alone, others can't. You can say gg all you want, but you're no where close to convincing me. It's not much of a victory to have convinced yourself of your own opinion, but if those are the only victories you find in life I guess that's sad and I'll let you have it. THE INTERNET.
The problem with people who hold this opinion is that they cannot discern between casual sex and sex in a relationship (AKA "Fucking vs Making Love"). You propose that since you do not get an equal level of enjoyment from casual sex you should refrain from engaging in it.
Firstly, casual sex and making love are not mutually exclusive. You will not suffer any detriment to your future lovemaking (I say future because your girlfriend/wife etc might be offended should it occur concurrently) from engaging in casual sex. So why not have both?
Secondly, comparing lovemaking to fucking is like comparing apples and pears. They are both fruit, but they do not taste the same. You can not expect to derive the same experience from eating a pear than from eating an apple. In the same way, you "feel hollow and empty" after casual sex because you are expecting bonding etc which are not included in casual sex. This is akin to me expecting to have an apple tasting pear. Take it for what it is, get a kick from the ride and then move on.
SEX FEELS GOOD MAN. GG NO RE.
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Blazinghand
United States25550 Posts
I would absolutely not. I am not motivated in the slightest to sleep with someone who would proposition a random dude like me in a public place, due to the risk of infections.
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Yes I would. If a hot girl wants to have sex with me, and I'm single, then I don't see why I would decline.
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During my long stay in the US I was always surprised by the ridiculous fear of Americans in particular towards "infections" and "STDS". It is funny to the extent they let this fear get in the way of actually enjoying life, especially when the large majority of the diseases involved are actually curable.
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This is in defense of Chef and all the other males who have said "no." Why are they "in denial?"
Just out of curiosity, suppose this poll were rephrased with the gender roles reversed. Attractive man approaches woman. No babies, no disease, no judgment-- no consequences at all. Does she do it? Okay, and more importantly, if she does NOT do it, is that within the possible realm of "normal" or is she denying her "instinctive" urges to be pleasured?
I present this twist because I believe it would be more intuitive for many people here to accept that some of the "she"s out there would NOT find this type of encounter tempting. As far as I recall, evolutionary biologists have made the case that this "choosiness" which is more common in females may have roots in a need to feel secure, protected, and committed-to before being willing to procreate. (And folks, our pleasure in sex has *evolved* because of procreation. The presence of condoms might mean something to our reasoning faculties, but it appears most people here are trying to make arguments related to our basic instincts, and our basic instincts know nothing about contraception.)
I'm no neurobiologist, nor an evolutionary biologist, but this makes sense to me. Our pleasure in sex is similar to our pleasure in eating and being active-- our bodies are chemically set up to reward us for doing things that are "good" for ourselves and our genes. Finding a solid, loving and committed relationship is something that some people see as very good for themselves-- for their security, and the security of their offspring. Most people get chemically rewarded in that type of relationship (seratonin, dopamine, etc). Likewise, the reason we like sex so much is also because we get chemically rewarded. Perhaps those relative rewards are different in different people. Perhaps the triggers for those rewards share a lot of common ground in some people, and therefore, perhaps some people really don't ENJOY sex, and therefore would not pursue it, without knowing, trusting, or respecting their partner. This urge to bond, and to reserve bonding behaviors for situations where actual bonding is likely, is just as much the consequence of a deep-seated biological instinct as the urge to have sex.
So it isn't true that anyone who says "no" to one-night stands is necessarily in denial. Maybe it just doesn't float their boat. The instinctive urge to stay away makes as much sense as the instinctive urge to go for it. If those evolutionary hypothesis about the attractiveness of commitment are correct, then probably it is more common to see situational choosiness (since the candidate is already assumed to be attractive) in females than males. But there can be a spectrum for each gender. My guess is, some men are wired to be choosy, and some men are wired to maximize the number of partners they have, and some men are some of both, and everything in between.
So, summary: just because you'd hit that, doesn't mean anyone who wouldn't is in denial. You just don't see or care about (and maybe don't even experience) the "cons" to this situation the same way and that's fine. We're all different.
Viva le chef and his voice of reason in the face of people who want to tell him how his manhood works!
And viva anyone else who understands that our "caveman/cavewoman" instincts have a biological basis and can be DIFFERENT from person to person.
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As a molecular biologist with a strong neuroscience background I will provide a counterargument when im off work (or tomorrow) right now I do not have the time. Stay tuned.
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I think you're missing the point by a couple million light years.
It's not a moral issue, it's a safety issue.
If some very attractive girl comes onto you so strongly at a bar (or library? LOLL OP) making it clear that she wants to fuck you just for one night, GIGANTIMMENSE red signals should be flashing in your head. Very high probably that she has slept around TONS more than you have, and equally high probably of having STDs.
My philosophy has always been that you have to earn sex as men; you have to put in the money, time and effort - there's no any other way. Think of it as an interview process; the 2-8 weeks (or however amounts of time is necessary for you to know and be comfortable with a person) are merely there to screen the other person, making sure that they're healthy and won't infect you the likes of herpes. I mean companies don't just hire random strangers, do they? They interview the applicants to make sure they won't get fucked over in the future. Just as you should interview the person that you're about to put your penis into, so you don't get fucked over a few months from now.
Simple really, I don't know where all the controversy is coming from.
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Lol, I think I focused on the specifics of the case study too much. The point of the thread was to ask whether you were or would be promiscuous.
I await your post ganjamaster! (still can't believe this blog got this big. Very few one liners too, unlike the general section.)
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On July 01 2011 06:34 obesechicken13 wrote:
Lol, I think I focused on the specifics of the case study too much. The point of the thread was to ask whether you were or would be promiscuous.
I await your post ganjamaster! (still can't believe this blog got this big. Very few one liners too, unlike the general section.)
Then you need to paint 2 scenarios:
1. Real world: STDs are fair game. Then no, risk/return isn't worth it.
2. World without STDs: fuck yes, pun intended.
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On July 01 2011 05:29 Ganjamaster wrote:
During my long stay in the US I was always surprised by the ridiculous fear of Americans in particular towards "infections" and "STDS". It is funny to the extent they let this fear get in the way of actually enjoying life, especially when the large majority of the diseases involved are actually curable.
I enjoy my life very much without having to have sex with strangers tyvm. As someone who works near a hospital and sees the number of people who have hep b, HIV, secondary syphilis etc., its not like it doesn't happen. True, a lot of it can be prevented through use of a condom and if that fails, antibiotics can get rid of the bacterial stuff, but isn't that also getting in the way of enjoying life? I definitely get better sex more frequently with a girl I love with the bonus of not having to worry about std's.
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On July 02 2011 05:43 ZeaL. wrote:Show nested quote +On July 01 2011 05:29 Ganjamaster wrote:
During my long stay in the US I was always surprised by the ridiculous fear of Americans in particular towards "infections" and "STDS". It is funny to the extent they let this fear get in the way of actually enjoying life, especially when the large majority of the diseases involved are actually curable. I enjoy my life very much without having to have sex with strangers tyvm. As someone who works near a hospital and sees the number of people who have hep b, HIV, secondary syphilis etc., its not like it doesn't happen. True, a lot of it can be prevented through use of a condom and if that fails, antibiotics can get rid of the bacterial stuff, but isn't that also getting in the way of enjoying life? I definitely get better sex more frequently with a girl I love with the bonus of not having to worry about std's.
I have been really busy but I have typed a good post in my home computer with regards to the arguments I said I would address previously, please bear with me.
@ZeaL
If you read my posts carefully you would have noticed that I have stated this does not apply if you are in a relationship. Additionally, the situation provided in the OP utilizes this constraint as well.
And about the better sex, you never know, that assumption is unfounded.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h130/Ghinght/dw3/howembarrasing.png)
