How pathetic am I - Page 2

On June 21 2011 09:44 ILOVEKITTENS wrote:
I know you were asking to be cheered up, but it is my belief that short term humor is cheap and wisdom for the unexperienced is priceless. So, I am going to cheer you up in the long-term by making it so this doesn't happen to you again.

You were "trying to hook up" with this girl, but she didn't tell you. This is due to one of 3 options:

• She was playing you
  
• She didn't know how to let you down easy
  
• She didn't even know you were mackin' on her
  

It is my belief that it is the last point that is the most likely. It could be either of the other two, but there is not enough information to tell for sure, and even if there was - it's hard to trust second-hand retellings of how things came to be from a person who hasn't dated before. Not to sound rude, but it's generally accepted that people who don't have experience in a field tend to have a lot of misconceptions about it, or are easily misled. This is one of those cases, potentially. So, keep your mind open to all these possibilities, but we will focus on the last because it is the only one that you are in complete control of.

So, for 6 months, you were doing whatever you were doing to woo her. It didn't work - she probably didn't even notice it. What does that mean? It doesn't mean she isn't perceptive enough to your subtle approach. It means that your approach is too subtle. I think that when you say "I have been trying to hook up with her," means "I have been hanging out with her and looking on behind a wall of helplessness as I find myself unable to express my desires to her." Therein lies your problem. If she was truly earnest about "liking you" [sic] (we'll get into this later), then you just lacked the initiative to make things official and open. The best advice I can give you is that next time you need to dip your balls in liquid steel and then swing them around. Make her FEEL that you like her, and THEN tell her. If she doesn't bite, then fuck it, you at least tried. Now you have wasted 6 months of courtship for a "coulda woulda shoulda" situation, and are turning to a StarCraft forum to pick you back up. Not today, brother. Today is a new day. Today, you take the first step to having solid-steel balls. Today, on a scale of 0 to pathetic, you are a 0. Yesterday, maybe you were an 8.

Also, let us look into her statement of "liking you" [sic].

• She lied, and wanted to let you down easy
  
• She does like you, but as a friend
  
• She does like you, period
  

Once again, all viable options. But, I think the second one is the most likely. If it was the first, she wouldn't have spent so much time with you out of pity - no one is that generous. If it was the last, she would dump her current boyfriend, because you don't tell people you like them while liking someone else more. So, you are officially friend-zoned. However! Instead of continuously going after this girl, waiting for her to break up with her BF, this gives you (like you said) freedom from any pressure, and the freedom to hone your woman-getting skills to a level beyond just spending time with them and watch them fall into the arms of another dude. So, get your confidence up, go woo some girls, which will give you more confidence, then when she dumps her toolbag boyfriend you will be super-you, ready to pick up the pieces and be her hero.

Good luck! FIGHTING!