EPTAnyways in order to do so I gotta get up the ranks first, and in order to do that I need to do a few things:
a) Increase my APM
b) Micro and Macro my units better
c) Improve my game sense
d) gain financial support
Right now my APM is 15, which is good enough for Gold, but I want to get to Bronze. To that extent, I'm going to benchpress 10 pounds every day on each of my fingers and my toes. Maybe in two weeks I'll raise it to 20 pounds. That'll get my APM up. And then for more work, I'm going to take a typing class to increase my typing speed, so I can press words faster on the keyboard and say glhf faster, so I can rally more workers to the mineral patches.
![[image loading]](http://www.michaelhartzell.com/Portals/52063/images/fitness%20by%20finger%20weight%20loss.jpg)
Yeah I'm totally going to be doing this, except with all of my fingers.
In addition, I'm changing my diet to food that will improve my APM. Gonna be eating a lot more pizza, chips, hot dogs-you know, finger foods. That'll make my fingers better so I can play this game more.
![[image loading]](http://www.dailypress.com/media/photo/2008-12/43706931.jpg)
The Breakfast of Future Champions like me
I also have to improve my game mechanics. To that end, I'm going to rigorously study streamers and youtube videos of people playing and see how they click when they move their units. I'm then going to make a UMS map to practice moving my units in the exact same way so I can micro like the pros. Then, I'm going to set alarms in my room to let me know when my units and research are done producing, so I know when I need to go back to my base and macro more units. there's gonna be like 50 alarms, and all of them are going to have my voice shouting "MARINE FINISHED!" or "CONCUSSIVE SHELLS FINISHED!" And then just in case I'll put more alarms which will remind me whether or not I've done something, like "BUILD A BARRACKS!" so that way I'll be able to improve my macro so I only have 3000 minerals in the bank at the most.
I'm going to buy like 30 of these so I know all the time properly.
Then I have to improve my game sense. This means I have to know the timings of typical builds and attacks, so I'm gonna go to Liquidpedia and go through every single article, and memorize the exact timings of everything, so I know exactly what they're doing based on timings. And then I'll like totally scout them so I know exactly what's going on, so I'll build a banshee to go see what he's doing so I'll be totally prepared for it. That way I won't lsoe any workers. But then I have to practice making sure that I don't make the Banshee at a bad time, so I need to set more alarms. I don't have enough money for those alarms, though, so I'll ask my mom to shout "BANSHEES! BANSHEES!" so I'll be totally ready for this.
![[image loading]](http://multiplayerblog.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/blizzard-chris-sigaty.jpg)
My mom said not to post her picture on the interweb so I google mom starcraft and found this so I posted it instead.
Last thing I need is financial support, because all of the best gamers have sponsors and if I'm going to be the best gamer I'm going to need a sponsor too. So I was thinking I would go around and go the CEOs of all the biggest banks in the world and get them to like sponsor me as #1 SC2 Bronze Player Gamer hero. Then I'll have enough money to get good keyboards so I can APM even better. That'll get me higher in the ranks also.
![[image loading]](http://politicolnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Bill_Gates_718639.jpg)
I'm not telling you who he is but I bet he'll give me money to become best SC2 player.
Then maybe after I win TSL 4 and 5 and also NESL and all the other big SC2 WCG leagues, I'll write a blog about how much progress I've made on TL and watch as my legions of fawning fans scramble over the desperate wall of mods and banelings to praise just how good my micro and macro is and how I'm the best #1 super player.
So I'm totally going to make a progress report like this so other people can follow in my footsteps to become the best player. I'm going to post my replays and stuff every week and analyze my mistakes so you guys can improve like me too.
![[image loading]](http://i2.ytimg.com/vi/x7dmUzUBqxc/0.jpg)
Here my mistake was picking the wrong race.
Now if you'd excuse me I have to go with my mom, she's going to buy me SC2 now so I can play.
