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So umm I don't know why I'm bloging this but here go's
I'm 16 er male: this is pretty personal so if your going to poke fun or you
wan't something starcraftie don't read it:
I was home schooled a few years ago so
I never whent to highschool don't know if that was good or bad,
I never learned at school and I wasnt into sports,
I'm smarter from being home schooled but my social skills
and life have sufferd because of it.
So six months ago I got a job at a supermarket doing nightfill
it was the best thing that happend to me for awhile I was looking
for a job for ages the works good the pays pretty good
and I get a another chance to get better at talking to people
so i've become better but I still can't think of stuff to say
beyond hello how are you today I'm mean sometimes I can but thats
usely when someone trys to talk to me, and sometimes I
think of stuff to say before hand but my mind always go's
fucking blank.
Anyway I started doing a bridging course at tafe so I can
get better grades pretty much so I can do something I wan't
to do like animation, studing games, IT work maybe,
anyway I'm going back tomorrow (After a 3 week easter break)
and I'm nearly finished 6 or
less weeks to go I'm not sure if i should even try to make friends
all the people in my class already think of me as the werido that
never says much.
So if anyone actualy reads this feel free to
ask questions or give advise thanks.
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did you type this up on a smartphone or something? the formatting's weird.
and why were you homeschooled?
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On May 09 2011 12:35 Bereft wrote:
did you type this up on a smartphone or something? the formatting's weird.
and why were you homeschooled?
i was thinking it was a poem or something but can't find anything
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When you can't think of something to say, don't say anything, but also, most importantly, don't twich or make useless movements. Silence is only awkward if it is apparent you feel awkward. The same goes for appearing confident; stand up straight and talk clearly.
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I dunno its just the way I wrote it shesh
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United States5162 Posts
I know what you mean when you cant think on anything to say and there's just kind of an awkward silence, it's happens more often then I'd like, too. Obviously I'm by no means socially inclined, but I would say just try to smile and be friendly. Having good body language goes a long way towards not coming off weird.
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On May 09 2011 12:42 DeltruS wrote:
When you can't think of something to say, don't say anything, but also, most importantly, don't twich or make useless movements. Silence is only awkward if it is apparent you feel awkward. The same goes for appearing confident; stand up straight and talk clearly.
Yeah I try, get the shakes sometimes thats always fun...not
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the format weird, thought it was a poem for a sec.
but on topic, some might say the best way to learn to socialize is to talk to others, but i can understand it being difficult in your situation. Do you have any problem talking with family or is it just with strangers?
I think a good advice is just to listen to what the other kids are talking about (not in the creepy stalker way, but just being a part of the conversation but not actually talking, except for the occasional nod or "ok" to let the other know your are paying attention.
Lastly if you only got 6 weeks to go, then there is nothing to lose. try just talking, if it doesnt work, you wont see them after 6 weeks. But i guess 6 weeks does feel like a lifetime in HS, but i dont think their opinion of you can get any worse, best thing about being at the bottom is you can;t fall any lower.
Keep up the blog, maybe talking online is a good start.
Hope my advice are good and don't sound too insensitive.
GLHF!
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On May 09 2011 12:44 Myles wrote:
I know what you mean when you cant think on anything to say and there's just kind of an awkward silence, it's happens more often then I'd like, too. Obviously I'm by no means socially inclined, but I would say just try to smile and be friendly. Having good body language goes a long way towards not coming off weird.
yeah i'm generally a nice guy. the people in my class are pretty ruff tho
25% of them are tradies other 25% are girls ...
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Honestly, practice. Go out of your way to talk to more people and put yourself in an environment where you can do that. Work seems like a good place, strike up conversation with random people. Its not as weird as you think. The more you do it, the more you have responses ready for certain events and your mind starts to fill itself with subjects.
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I'd suggest adopting the phrase "Do it anyway." You look at somebody and think of something kinda silly to say like "Damn, where did you get that 'Cut Your Mullet' t-shirt? That's awesome!" Your brain will probably go "No, don't say that." Do it anyway! Your brain is dumb, and places roadblock signs around all your thoughts it deems as socially unacceptable. I doubt you're actually drawing a blank. For most people, they just can't think of anything "important" or "meaningful" to say. Screw that. Nobody has anything important to say. You just say it anyway, and before you know it, a conversation is born.
Now, some inhibitions are helpful. If you think "Man, she looks fat," and then think "I shouldn't say that," that's your brain helping you. That's when you go "Ok, brain, you're right." But, if your brain is trying to keep you from saying inane stuff like "Hey, I like those sunglasses!" it's being stupid. Say it anyway and you'll at least get a few-seconds conversation with another human being. It's a start!
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On May 09 2011 12:29 RedHaZard wrote:
I'm smarter from being home schooled
Don't get why you'd be smarter because you were home schooled. O_o
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On May 09 2011 12:53 Holgerius wrote:Don't get why you'd be smarter because you were home schooled. O_o
because I didnt learn at school I thought I said that
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On May 09 2011 12:53 Holgerius wrote:Don't get why you'd be smarter because you were home schooled. O_o
homeschooling doesn't seem to focus on grammar, spelling, sentence formatting, or paragraphs..
but @OP, just try more.. maybe occasionally check up on what's going on with recent events, but don't read too much into it - and mention it and imply you don't know a whole lot about it - usually people will be more than happy to tell you how much they know.. and it's easier to flow into a regular convo from there
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On May 09 2011 12:52 NukeTheStars wrote:
I'd suggest adopting the phrase "Do it anyway." You look at somebody and think of something kinda silly to say like "Damn, where did you get that 'Cut Your Mullet' t-shirt? That's awesome!" Your brain will probably go "No, don't say that." Do it anyway! Your brain is dumb, and places roadblock signs around all your thoughts it deems as socially unacceptable. I doubt you're actually drawing a blank. For most people, they just can't think of anything "important" or "meaningful" to say. Screw that. Nobody has anything important to say. You just say it anyway, and before you know it, a conversation is born.
Now, some inhibitions are helpful. If you think "Man, she looks fat," and then think "I shouldn't say that," that's your brain helping you. That's when you go "Ok, brain, you're right." But, if your brain is trying to keep you from saying inane stuff like "Hey, I like those sunglasses!" it's being stupid. Say it anyway and you'll at least get a few-seconds conversation with another human being. It's a start!
I'll try that thx, sometimes I do say silly things without thinking then I look dumb.. er
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I go by the attitude of not forcing anything. If I am genuinely interested in talking to somebody, I will say something. If there is something to talk about, it will come easily. Forcing conversation that you aren't really into just comes out as awkward.
Also, realize that social interaction involves two people, it's not up to you to run the show 100%. If the other person isn't saying much, then perhaps they are just not in the mood to chit chat. Don't think it's always you basically. Just have fun with people!
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how would I join a group at launch break exactly? should I say something or follow them and listen to what there saying ?
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On May 09 2011 13:03 RedHaZard wrote:
how would I join a group at launch break exactly? should I say something or follow them and listen to what there saying ?
What do you mean? Do you mean lunch breaks with your co-workers?
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On May 09 2011 12:47 godemperor wrote:
the format weird, thought it was a poem for a sec.
but on topic, some might say the best way to learn to socialize is to talk to others, but i can understand it being difficult in your situation. Do you have any problem talking with family or is it just with strangers?
I think a good advice is just to listen to what the other kids are talking about (not in the creepy stalker way, but just being a part of the conversation but not actually talking, except for the occasional nod or "ok" to let the other know your are paying attention.
Lastly if you only got 6 weeks to go, then there is nothing to lose. try just talking, if it doesnt work, you wont see them after 6 weeks. But i guess 6 weeks does feel like a lifetime in HS, but i dont think their opinion of you can get any worse, best thing about being at the bottom is you can;t fall any lower.
Keep up the blog, maybe talking online is a good start.
Hope my advice are good and don't sound too insensitive.
GLHF!
I dunno why people think the formats so werid is it the spaces I was
just trying to make it easy to read.
Anyway not realy I can talk to my dad realy well my mum
does alot of talking so i don't get too say much anyway with her,
yeah I'll try and do that I guess you have a good point can't get any lower.
Yeah maybe talking online will help!
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On May 09 2011 13:12 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:Show nested quote +On May 09 2011 13:03 RedHaZard wrote:
how would I join a group at launch break exactly? should I say something or follow them and listen to what there saying ? What do you mean? Do you mean lunch breaks with your co-workers?
er sorry I mean at Tafe er its kinda like school
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when i get out of topic of conversation i go "the other day, i was doing ... and this happened..."
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I can't really understand your situation here because you don't write in easy to read paragraphs. My general advice to becoming more social is to just talk to people either at lunch or at whatever clubs or activities you do. Study with someone at your IT school.
edit: It can be hard to start talking to people. I think that you just need to convince yourself that you are confident, just for a moment, and then start talking to someone and asking if you can study with them. Once you start talking, even if you turn into a stuttering idiot, you will be able to say what you need to.
I did this at the start of the school year and met 10 wonderful friends who've helped me so much to have fun and become a better person (though my grades haven't improved as much as I'd wanted :-/, I play fewer games, am more happy, and have a lot more control over myself ).
I also tried this technique to confess my feelings to a girl last year. I actually did turn into a stammering idiot, but I was able to get my point across.
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Trying to find something in common helps, like if they are wearing a shirt of a band you know or something of that nature, but this is more in a casual environs rather than work.school
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On May 09 2011 13:51 Hidden_MotiveS wrote:
I can't really understand your situation here because you don't write in easy to read paragraphs. My general advice to becoming more social is to just talk to people either at lunch or at whatever clubs or activities you do. Study with someone at your IT school.
edit: It can be hard to start talking to people. I think that you just need to convince yourself that you are confident, just for a moment, and then start talking to someone and asking if you can study with them. Once you start talking, even if you turn into a stuttering idiot, you will be able to say what you need to.
I did this at the start of the school year and met 10 wonderful friends who've helped me so much to have fun and become a better person (though my grades haven't improved as much as I'd wanted :-/, I play fewer games, am more happy, and have a lot more control over myself ).
I also tried this technique to confess my feelings to a girl last year. I actually did turn into a stammering idiot, but I was able to get my point across.
I'm doing a bridging course because I didnt go to highschool its basicaly for drop outs
what happend with the girl?
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You really don't like the letter L.
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On May 09 2011 14:28 RedHaZard wrote:
what happend with the girl?
Yeah, I'm curious. XD
@OP: I know this has been said a bunch of times but, dude, wtf format? Just type normally. As in, full sentances with with grammar and shit. You're like... making a new line halfway through sentances... and at the end of sentances... and stuff...
As for your problem, I'm not exactly a social butterfly, but it all boils down to practice. Practice makes perfect, even in social situations.
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Sorry for the thread hijack.
The girl and I didn't do anything. I think in order for us to have had a chance, I would have had to be sure that I wanted a girlfriend at the time. I told her that I thought a lot about her, and that I had a crush on her. I told her that it was probably because I saw her a lot. I also said that we were very different people, and a I recognized that we would probably not work out. She was fun... and I was a nerd. We lived in the same Res too, so if things didn't work out then awkwardness would have ensued.
I felt sad for a week afterwards, not that long. I quickly recovered.
The girl went on with life, she found a boyfriend. I think that for the most part I've moved on. I don't think about her very often, significantly less that I used to. We still see each other, hang out every once in a while.
We're still friends.
I just know that in the future, if I ever like a girl and think we're compatiable, and know that I'm ready for a girlfriend, I have to be more assertive and show that I like her from the start. No bigs :3
There's nothing wrong with being assertive or social!
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At the moment I'm going through a rough friend period, and my advice would be, go out and get some exercise, if you have a pet take it for walks. At least thats what I'm doing.
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Have you considered practicing online? It sounds like you're having trouble on 2 fronts: coming up with things to say and the physical aspect of interacting (how to stand/where to meet people/etc). What if you struck up a conversation with a SC2 opponent, or someone on WoW (assuming you play), or people in an irc channel? Then you could focus on the first part (content) without worrying about the second. That might make you more comfortable when you try it in real life.
For example, if you play against someone in SC2 and you see something intriguing in their build or play style, message them after the game. Even that conversation only lasts one minute, you still successfully had a conversation.
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thanks for all the help people!
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EPT
