EPTSo today I've had a shitton on my mind tonight for I dunno what reason. Let me give you my situation real quick.
August 5th of last year, I decided to move 3.5 states away from New York to Indiana to be with my current girlfriend. Mind you I was only 19 when I decided this. And for a while things were going great, except for about 30 hours I was promised form my job (thanks Regal) I never got per week. And then I got another job at another movie theater about 50 minutes closer than my other job. Then that weekend in October I got into a car accident. I ended up going to the ER with bad leg pains, my girlfriend went with me as well. We were both okay for the most part, I just had a lot of problems after with leg, back, not wanting to be a lone, upset stomach and fun stuff. And because of this I miss my second day of work which isn't a big deal but it's annoying.
So then my car gets totaled because of this, which I later realize isn't a big deal because I pay $320 a month for car payment, and with my $525/mo rent and $24/mo internet bill that's a heavy load off. So my dad comes down and gets me a new car that I now pay $107/mo car payment. And this whole time I can hardly pay any of my bills. After the "new" car. I can now pay my car and internet, but still can hardly do anything on rent, so my dad who's supported me with this completely , coming down, buying me a bed, bringing his old kitchen table, filling my apartment basically, and paying rent for 90% of the time I've been here.
Shortly after/around this time, things start going downhill with my gf and I. Most of the issues come from me not having second job (which I still don't) and being able to support myself. That's the stem from most of these issues, but we have far to many little fights and arguments etc. And things slowly get worse and worse. We have good days but they become far and few. During this time I'm applying to about every job I can (I've been doing this for about the entire time I've been here, and only had 2 calls total, one of them being the theater job I currently have). Things would get better for maybe a few days and then something comes up and we have more bad days again. Things don't get much better.
Fast forward to past few weeks. We've been yelling and screaming more than ever, even to the point of her scratching/slapping/hitting me and me trying to pin her down when we both are just extremely pissed off at each other. And during this time, SC2 is becoming bigger and bigger in NA, and my dreams of wanting to become a "pro-gamer" are becoming bigger since it's becoming more realistic to do it in NA, so I really want to, and I can't here since I don't have much time.
Eventaully, my gf and I decide it's best if we don't see each other for a week (this week, before spring break) and see each other before she goes home for spring break (tomorrow) and see how things go from there. But really it's hard for us to even really talk now without getting frustrated at each other or one at the other. The only good thing I have going for me is I love my job/the people I work with, I'm finally getting trained in booth (projectionist whatever you wanna call it) and it's fantastic since I've worked my ass off for it, but today I've thought a lot (the whole point for this blog) about whether or not if I want to stay here or not, and I really don't even though I love the place, I love my gf even though how we are atm, but I also do, because of her, the people I work with, and my job (don't really have friends here other than people I work with so yeah). So I just dunno what to do, and the main purpose of this blog is too just think out loud and waste time and share my story and see if anyone can possibly give any thoughtful advice.
Thanks for reading <3
