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Active: 26041 users

[IA] Blizzard to Create Custom Race for TLO

Blogs > Hoju
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1 2 3 Next All
Hoju
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States449 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-03-11 03:36:04
March 10 2011 22:44 GMT
#1
[image loading]


Blizzard to Create Custom Race for TLO


Dario Wünsch, also known as “TheLittleOne” or “TLO”, has had a bit of a racial identity crisis in Starcraft 2. In the Beta, he wowed the SC2 community with his creative play with all 3 races. His strong finishes and immense popularity earned him a spot on the prestigious Team Liquid. However, after SC2 was released, he was forced to take a strong look inward about his race selection. He meditated for days atop Germany's tallest hill, living only on strong German beer that flowed as streams and rivers around the hill and the sausages that grew plentiful in the trees. (Ed. Note: this is how I picture Germany and anything else would be a disappointment) Eventually, he came to the conclusion that Terran was his best race and opted to focus solely on that race.

As TLO struggled to go far in GSL and other tournaments with Terran, he needed to take another deep look into his soul. After about 20 seconds, he decided Zerg was more fun and chose to compete in Blizzcon as Zerg to the surprise of the SC2 world. Unfortunately, he pulled a MorroW and lost 2 ZvZ's at Blizzcon in his Zerg debut. He continued to struggle with Zerg, only doing well in some minor tournament in the US. After his poor results as Zerg, TLO needed to return home to contemplate his race once again.

With the year turning over, and back in his home country of Germany, TLO finally decided to switch back to Random. While he did win the Poker Idol SC2 European Championship and qualified for TSL, many currently believe he still has problems with some matchups and he would be best served picking one race or race pick to get certain matchups. Fortunately for TLO, he won't have to make that choice or any more deep, life-changing decisions related to his choice of race.

Earlier today, Blizzard announced they will be creating a custom race just for TLO. It will be called Prozerran and will combine all of TLO's favorite units of each race.

[image loading]
The new Prozerran logo+ Show Spoiler +
This is the reason I haven't put an article out in over a week. I hope you can appreciate the fine quality of this image and the hard work and time I put into it


The Prozerran race will feature the Infestor, Ghost (w/ nukes preloaded of course), Thor, Colossus, Raven, Queen, Hellion, and pretty much any other unit TLO wants included.

Dustin Browder, the Lead Developer of Starcraft 2, made a statement regarding this announcement, “We have been watching TLO since the beta and were amazed by his creative play. Sadly, we've also seen his immense struggle with his racial identity. It has been very rough to see him unable to find true happiness with a particular race. Honestly, it keeps me up some nights thinking about his sad story. It is truly amazing to see him still have some success despite all the hardships he's experienced in his Starcraft 2 career. This is why we want to try to end his struggle by finally giving him a race that he can finally be happy with.”

When asked how the new race will affect balance, particularly with so many Prozerran units being good against Marines, Browder suddenly turned pale and said, “Oh shit, I forgot about my preciou- er, the Marine. We'll have to rethink this.” It is believed Blizzard will use this as an excuse to finally buff the underpowered marine.



[image loading] Follow The Infested Archon on twitter for updates and maybe the occasional bad joke: www.twitter.com/InfestedArchon

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****
www.TheInfestedArchon.com - SC2 Satire
Poonchow
Profile Joined September 2010
United States56 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-03-10 22:50:50
March 10 2011 22:50 GMT
#2
A+ would read again.

Always hilarious, keep it up.
Pandain
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States12989 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-03-10 22:54:46
March 10 2011 22:52 GMT
#3
I feel like this isn't as funny as your previous works. It's more like "yeah TLO is that badass" than "Harr harr." It basically just seems like something someone would say in a LR thread: TLO deserves a race just for himself!

What's the funniest things that you do is when you take a hot topic(Idra leaving, EG's announcement) and turn it into something hilarious. Rather than just pay homage to our German hero.

That image is badass though....+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


*Imagines a portrait of TLO. The Zerg icon an eye-patch for TLO, the Protoss icon part of a mask which covers his chin-right lower face, and the Terran icon the beginning of the shoulder-body that you see in portraits. *
Char711
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States862 Posts
March 10 2011 22:57 GMT
#4
That image, blown up as a TLO wallpaper would be pretty fucking sweet.

Well done! I continue to follow your great work!
"If you can chill, chill." -Liquid`Tyler "Special tactics." -White-Ra
SgtSquiglz
Profile Joined December 2010
United States668 Posts
March 10 2011 23:01 GMT
#5
Haha well done, as usual. Keep up the great work, dude.
Take anything I say with a grain of salt.....I suck at this game. Also, Go Blue!
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
March 10 2011 23:05 GMT
#6
Haha, I was thinking about IA today wondering if they ran out of ideas considering it's been relatively quiet lately.

Now this.

Haha, gold!
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
petered
Profile Joined February 2010
United States1817 Posts
March 10 2011 23:07 GMT
#7
Prozerran so underpowered. They haven't won anything.
This, my friends, is the power of the Shikyo Memorial for QQ therapy thread. We make the world a better place, one chainsaw massacre prevention at a time.
intotheheart
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada33091 Posts
March 10 2011 23:07 GMT
#8
A+ all the way, haha.

This was just amazing.
kiss kiss fall in love
LittLeD
Profile Joined May 2010
Sweden7973 Posts
March 10 2011 23:08 GMT
#9
Brrrrrrrrrilliant!
☆Grubby ☆| Tod|DeMusliM|ThorZaiN|SaSe|Moon|Mana| ☆HerO ☆
Arc1
Profile Joined December 2010
Poland849 Posts
March 10 2011 23:12 GMT
#10
I love Prozerran, sixpool4gate2rax is best opening ever!
Nothing to add.
Kinky
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States4126 Posts
March 10 2011 23:18 GMT
#11
It should be Proterg
+ Show Spoiler +
Gretorp backwards
Hoju
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States449 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-03-10 23:25:06
March 10 2011 23:24 GMT
#12
On March 11 2011 08:18 Kinky wrote:
It should be Proterg
+ Show Spoiler +
Gretorp backwards

Ha, I think that was among the finalists, but I opted for the more pharmaceutical sounding and equal opportunity (3 letters from each race's name) Prozerran. That's a good catch on the Gretorp part, tho, I didn't think of that
www.TheInfestedArchon.com - SC2 Satire
surfinbird1
Profile Joined September 2009
Germany999 Posts
March 10 2011 23:25 GMT
#13
On March 11 2011 07:44 Hoju wrote:
He meditated for days atop Germany's tallest hill, living only on strong German beer that flowed as streams and rivers around the hill and the sausages that grew plentiful in the trees. (Ed. Note: this is how I picture Germany and anything else would be a disappointment)

Yeah, that sounds about right. Also animals made of Schnitzel.
life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
Tschis
Profile Joined November 2010
Brazil1511 Posts
March 10 2011 23:28 GMT
#14
I lol'ed xDD

thanks for making my day a lil bit better

//tx
"A coward is not someone that runs from a battle knowing he will lose. A coward is someone who challenges a weak knowing he will win."
ranjutan
Profile Joined November 2010
United States636 Posts
March 10 2011 23:31 GMT
#15
Meh 4/5
anyway I'm pretty sure TLO played Terran at PokerIdol, at least in the finals anyway. =)
http://i53.tinypic.com/1r3j0p.gif
Dubzex
Profile Joined October 2010
United States6994 Posts
March 10 2011 23:38 GMT
#16
You're articles are awesome. Keep up the good work.
"DONT UNDERESTIMATE MY CARRY OR YOU WILL BE CARRIED INTO THE ABYSS OF SUFFERING" - Tyler 'TC' Cook
Hoju
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States449 Posts
March 10 2011 23:46 GMT
#17
On March 11 2011 08:31 ranjutan wrote:
Meh 4/5
anyway I'm pretty sure TLO played Terran at PokerIdol, at least in the finals anyway. =)

I think you're right, but he was listed as Random for that tournament on liquipedia and registered as Random. TLPD shows him as only playing Terran, but he only played Terrans, so he might've been race picking? I know that was the first indication of TLO going back to Random, so I just left it as Random rather than saying he went back to Terran No one remembers anyway since the coverage of that tournament was so bad and SCRI and TL Open were going on too.
www.TheInfestedArchon.com - SC2 Satire
AntiLegend
Profile Joined September 2010
Germany247 Posts
March 10 2011 23:47 GMT
#18
give this man a star!
Weavel
Profile Joined January 2010
Finland9221 Posts
March 10 2011 23:53 GMT
#19
Quality blog.
Life/Seed//Mvp/NaNiwa fighting! ZeNEX forever!
CrazyF1r3f0x
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States2120 Posts
March 11 2011 00:18 GMT
#20
On March 11 2011 08:47 AntiLegend wrote:
give this man a star!

How about 5?
"Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery."
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