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So I get home from school. My mom took my checkbook out of my desk and looked at it, and noted that over a year and a half I hadn't accounted for all of my checks. I have about 5 grand in the checking account, and all the checks are sub 100 dollars.
I really had no idea how to balance a checkbook. Call me clueless, but I didn't.
I get home, and she started yelling me out, comparing me to my "failure of a cousin" who happens to work at blizzard. (on SC2 lol)
I started recording because I thought I was as diplomatic as possible. Feel free to yell at me for either being too submissive or jerkish, but I just want to know how to improve what's going on.
http://kiwi6.com/file/fu32wlmwx9
Also lost a bassoon reed. Really small. Really good reed too. Do any of you guys have any advice for finding things. Small things?
  
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Buy a new one. Aren't they like $10 max? And I never account for all my cheques either, and I have never had any problems.
Do you know why you always find stuff in the last place you look for them? Because you stop looking after you find it. Couldn't resist.
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On February 15 2011 09:15 Blisse wrote:
Buy a new one. Aren't they like $10 max? And I never account for all my cheques either, and I have never had any problems.
Do you know why you always find stuff in the last place you look for them? Because you stop looking after you find it. Couldn't resist.
Yeah. This one was real good though lol 
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lol what the fuck? She needs to calm the fuck down. If you know for a fact you have enough money in your account then there's no fuckin' problem lol. Don't use checks  Use debit card. Those go through within a day or so. And if you don't use it too much then it's easy to remember everything. I've NEVER gone into overdraft and I never keep track, I know exactly everything I spend every day. She must have been mad about something else lol. Of course even though she doesn't need to be yelling, it's never a good idea to argue with your parents lol they are always right and you are always wrong.
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God damnit what a fucking bitch :o Youre so nice and appologetic during the whole thing lol.
Slap her and tell her to go to the kitchen, make her feel littler than you. But honestly, wtf man? Stand up for yourself, a mom should not treat her son that way. Just imo me and my mom love each other
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On February 15 2011 09:26 mptj wrote:
God damnit what a fucking bitch :o Youre so nice and appologetic during the whole thing lol.
Slap her and tell her to go to the kitchen, make her feel littler than you. But honestly, wtf man? Stand up for yourself, a mom should not treat her son that way. Just imo me and my mom love each other
She is in the kitchen.
She's shorter than me.
lol.
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I got owned by the OP....
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HAHAHA! She is one of those moms who have a rant in the holster and will keep ranting until she's got it out of her system, and I guess she thinks yelling is what gets points across, which is so damn annoying. I was blessed with a voice like thunder so my parents quickly learned that getting into a yelling match would be the worst possible option in dealing with me, thank god. You were fine I guess, I would try to facilitate ending the rant as quickly as possible if you want to have a good day. If you're OK with drama, on the other hand, I would explode at her so hard every time she rants that she'll naturally learn to pick her battles. Checkbook balance is not worth ranting over for sure. That being said... Dude balancing a checkbook is simple addition subtraction, super easy.
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On February 15 2011 09:41 Zim23 wrote:
HAHAHA! She is one of those moms who have a rant in the holster and will keep ranting until she's got it out of her system, and I guess she thinks yelling is what gets points across, which is so damn annoying. I was blessed with a voice like thunder so my parents quickly learned that getting into a yelling match would be the worst possible option in dealing with me, thank god. You were fine I guess, I would try to facilitate ending the rant as quickly as possible if you want to have a good day. If you're OK with drama, on the other hand, I would explode at her so hard every time she rants that she'll naturally learn to pick her battles. Checkbook balance is not worth ranting over for sure. That being said... Dude balancing a checkbook is simple addition subtraction, super easy.
Out yelling her turns into a stalemeate. She's willing to waste her time to waste mine.
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Found reed though >.> Another rant about tl incoming
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Try to throw her off by talking about your penis the entire time. :D
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You should tell your mom straight up to stop yelling at you.
"Mom, you're yelling. Let's just talk this through normally."
But you did keep your cool. If you want to improve relations with your parents, it doesn't really help the relationship to yell back. People who get into an argument don't even realize half the time that their anger is leaking into their own voices.
Likewise, you shouldn't stutter your words in defense either. If she gets louder, you talk softer. If she talks faster, you talk slower and gentler. Otherwise, if she yells and you become flustered and talk faster, the rant will keep escalating because she'll feel like she's in complete control of the situation and can vent all her frustration at you. But if you talk noticeably softer, she'll realize how ridiculous her own yelling is.
You didn't yell back, though, so thumbs up for keeping your cool and being patient with your mom. Always a good quality imo.
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On February 15 2011 10:08 The_Pacifist wrote:
You should tell your mom straight up to stop yelling at you.
"Mom, you're yelling. Let's just talk this through normally."
But you did keep your cool. If you want to improve relations with your parents, it doesn't really help the relationship to yell back. People who get into an argument don't even realize half the time that their anger is leaking into their own voices.
Likewise, you shouldn't stutter your words in defense either. If she gets louder, you talk softer. If she talks faster, you talk slower and gentler. Otherwise, if she yells and you become flustered and talk faster, the rant will keep escalating because she'll feel like she's in complete control of the situation and can vent all her frustration at you. But if you talk noticeably softer, she'll realize how ridiculous her own yelling is.
You didn't yell back, though, so thumbs up for keeping your cool and being patient with your mom. Always a good quality imo.
When you talk slower to someone who is amped up they'll think you're being condescending and that you're patronizing them which will get them even more pissed. The idea of someone 'realizing how ridiculous her own yelling is' assumes that the person screaming is very rational/logical which is something rare in a woman (or a man I guess) who is currently yelling in anger.
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I don't know if it would help to give more examples where it descends into ad hominem or :/
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I respect that she's trying to force as many good habits on you as she can, Jesus, she's annoying. I wanna tell her to fuck off. You're a patient kid. Living on your own is going to be amaaaaaaaaaaazing when the time comes.
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Haha that happened to me when I over charged my debit card, except I had a loud Mexican mother yelling at me ^^
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lol if this was my mom, I'd just start parroting the way she talks until she either realizes how ridiculous she sounds or she gets enraged and walks away. Then later I'd scold her for being so materialistic and caring about money more than she cares about good relations with her son.
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Jesus Froadac, I'm sorry man. I've read all your previous blogs, I never realized just how absurd your mom sounds. I would not be able to put up with that. Like, would not at all. I'd be in an institution.
You're a tough man to be able to deal with that.
My favorite part was, "I have had a checking account for over 30 years." I would've been like, "Well thats terrific and all, but how does that help me know how to do it?"
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I don't mind people yelling at me, it's not intimidating as long as it stays verbal, but I can't stand it when they repeat the same thing over and over and over and over and over. I can understand being pissed about something, and some people think it's important to yell to emphasize importance or some bullshit, but sometimes it seems like it's impossible for someone to yell for just ten seconds and communicate the problem then leave. No, they have to yell the same thing a hundred times in a hundred different ways even though I've made it obvious I get what they're saying. If you're pissed then just let me know so I can take care of it then fuck off and go calm down.
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how old are you?
my only consoling right now can be that maybe you can look forward to moving out and making your own life.
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On February 15 2011 11:12 Roe wrote:
how old are you?
my only consoling right now can be that maybe you can look forward to moving out and making your own life.
16 and 11/12 :DD
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Your mom's a bitch. She could be dealing with this so much better.
I'm so grossed out by human behavior. It stuns me that 90% of the population doesn't ever figure out how to properly solve conflict and problems.
I live in a house with three women. Two of them act like your mom whenever there's conflict. I chill. I hate people like your mom. Move out man.
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Lol, my dad does the same thing, except not to the same magnitude at all. I write checks like... once a month tops for relatively small amounts. There is no need for me to balance my checkbook, especially since it can be checked online in 2 seconds anyway.
Just listened to the mp3... your mom is kinda crazy lol.
I guess in your position I'd try to calmly explain you can always check your balance easily online (you can right?) and that you aren't concerned with depleting your account since you spend so little. Then just start to ignore her... dunno if that works with your mom though. Could always just go to your room and close the door though.
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These days, with online checking and stuff, I never had to use too many checks. Not enough to overdraft anyways...
Your mom overreacted, assuming if you have never overdrafted or had problems managing money. She needs to calm down
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I just got the account info.
Account balance 5,052.06
My largest check was for 45 bucks ><
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On February 15 2011 11:39 Froadac wrote:
I just got the account info.
Account balance 5,052.06
My largest check was for 45 bucks ><
You should blow all 5k on something extravagant and close your bank account. Then tell your mom you don't need to balance your checking account anymore.
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On February 15 2011 11:44 Jonoman92 wrote:Show nested quote +On February 15 2011 11:39 Froadac wrote:
I just got the account info.
Account balance 5,052.06
My largest check was for 45 bucks >< You should blow all 5k on something extravagant and close your bank account. Then tell your mom you don't need to balance your checking account anymore.
I actually have like 9k. She said I shoyuld spend more of it: was actually looking at a used hyundai tiburon. (insurance would be insane though (( )
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Your mom is so lucky not to have had me as a son. I've gotten into arguments with my parents when I was your age that sounded much much worse... lol, kind of makes me smile now when I think about it.
You seem to handle her all right, but I do think she tramples on you a bit too much. I didn't listen to the last two minutes of it, but if you want to change the tone of the conversation I would DEMAND (not ask, or plead) for her to lower her voice and calm down. Maybe it's just me but I would never accept anyone to talk to me in that way, especially when I am admitting to my mistake.
I remember once I unloaded some unpleasant news on my Mom and she got furious!!!! She was so angry and wouldn't let me explain anything so I just told her that I was leaving, and was going to sleep over a friend's house for the night until she could settle the information down and we could talk about it like normal human beings. We now talk about that day and kind of laugh about it... Ahh the good ol' days.
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OP if I was you I would honestly just tell my mom shes being an annoying ignorant bitch. I would literally make her wish she didn't say a word to you that day.
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I love how everyone condemns the mother for her yelling and anger.
No one knows the OP's history nor how he treated his mother before-hand or in the past, intentionally or not. This is not to place or blame the OP, but to consider exterior motives or variables that are not present in the recording.
I, too, would talk calmly to someone yelling at me if I knew I was being recorded and would intentionally try to portray myself in a good light.
Calling her a bitch is looking at things in a very narrow light.
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On February 15 2011 12:57 Torte de Lini wrote:
I love how everyone condemns the mother for her yelling and anger.
No one knows the OP's history nor how he treated his mother before-hand or in the past, intentionally or not. This is not to place or blame the OP, but to consider exterior motives or variables that are not present in the recording.
I, too, would talk calmly to someone yelling at me if I knew I was being recorded and would intentionally try to portray myself in a good light.
Calling her a bitch is looking at things in a very narrow light.
It's a good point. Of course I would be nice.
Of course there have been less optimal circumstances, but certainly in general it at least STARTS something like that. About 45 minutes in occasionally I get real upset and start yellin
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I don't think your mother is a bitch, I just think she's frustrated, discouraged or annoyed. Perhaps due to previous events, problem or repeated occurrences or due to something else in her life (to which she's lashing out to you, which happens to all of us).
I think it's a bit childish and disrespectful of you to record your own mother when she's clearly not in the best representative moment and then show everyone around you seeking sympathy or perhaps a solution to your problem (which could be solved by just describing what typically transpires).
It's your choice, but I frown upon it.
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On February 15 2011 13:06 Torte de Lini wrote:
I don't think your mother is a bitch, I just think she's frustrated, discouraged or annoyed. Perhaps due to previous events, problem or repeated occurrences or due to something else in her life (to which she's lashing out to you, which happens to all of us).
I think it's a bit childish and disrespectful of you to record your own mother when she's clearly not in the best representative moment and then show everyone around you seeking sympathy or perhaps a solution to your problem (which could be solved by just describing what typically transpires).
It's your choice, but I frown upon it.
I mean, a similar thing to this typically transpires from 3-5. I'll certainly post more, I actually ahve some recording on my mp3 player of past events lol.
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On February 15 2011 13:06 Torte de Lini wrote:
I don't think your mother is a bitch, I just think she's frustrated, discouraged or annoyed. Perhaps due to previous events, problem or repeated occurrences or due to something else in her life (to which she's lashing out to you, which happens to all of us).
I think it's a bit childish and disrespectful of you to record your own mother when she's clearly not in the best representative moment and then show everyone around you seeking sympathy or perhaps a solution to your problem (which could be solved by just describing what typically transpires).
It's your choice, but I frown upon it.
Check his other blog entries. Unfortunately some people do have psychopaths as family members.
edit
Although, Froadac I don't know if you can read here something better than what you can hear during meetings with your counselor.
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wait, your cousin works at blizz. nice!
if your mom thinks working at blizzard is a failure. she is already nutso, and anything and everything shes says should be regarded as utter trash.
in otherwords. just humor her for now and tell her to take a break and look at her own problems. i have seen parents like this and they don't get better until you confront them. if you auctally confront her about it, she'll back off, she is only able to control you if you let her.
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On February 15 2011 13:25 beetlelisk wrote:Show nested quote +On February 15 2011 13:06 Torte de Lini wrote:
I don't think your mother is a bitch, I just think she's frustrated, discouraged or annoyed. Perhaps due to previous events, problem or repeated occurrences or due to something else in her life (to which she's lashing out to you, which happens to all of us).
I think it's a bit childish and disrespectful of you to record your own mother when she's clearly not in the best representative moment and then show everyone around you seeking sympathy or perhaps a solution to your problem (which could be solved by just describing what typically transpires).
It's your choice, but I frown upon it. Check his other blog entries. Unfortunately some people do have psychopaths as family members. edit Although, Froadac I don't know if you can read here something better than what you can hear during meetings with your counselor.
Yes, I'm well-aware of that personally.
I'm just taking everything with a grain of salt and considering this one side of a story.
Not intended to jab the OP (it's his blog, he can do what he wants).
Anyways, I said my peace, won't disturb!
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On February 15 2011 14:01 Torte de Lini wrote:Show nested quote +On February 15 2011 13:25 beetlelisk wrote:On February 15 2011 13:06 Torte de Lini wrote:
I don't think your mother is a bitch, I just think she's frustrated, discouraged or annoyed. Perhaps due to previous events, problem or repeated occurrences or due to something else in her life (to which she's lashing out to you, which happens to all of us).
I think it's a bit childish and disrespectful of you to record your own mother when she's clearly not in the best representative moment and then show everyone around you seeking sympathy or perhaps a solution to your problem (which could be solved by just describing what typically transpires).
It's your choice, but I frown upon it. Check his other blog entries. Unfortunately some people do have psychopaths as family members. edit Although, Froadac I don't know if you can read here something better than what you can hear during meetings with your counselor. Yes, I'm well-aware of that personally. I'm just taking everything with a grain of salt and considering this one side of a story. Not intended to jab the OP (it's his blog, he can do what he wants). Anyways, I said my peace, won't disturb!
It's piece
Point taken.
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I think when she goes off like that, you should just give her the silence treatment. its seems like the more you talk, the more she goes on and on and on.
maybe you should start a new youtube channel called crazy mom
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On February 15 2011 14:57 Waffles wrote:
I think when she goes off like that, you should just give her the silence treatment. its seems like the more you talk, the more she goes on and on and on.
maybe you should start a new youtube channel called crazy mom
I thought about it but it would be super mean
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On February 15 2011 09:07 Froadac wrote:
So I get home from school. My mom took my checkbook out of my desk and looked at it, and noted that over a year and a half I hadn't accounted for all of my checks. I have about 5 grand in the checking account, and all the checks are sub 100 dollars.
I didn't listen to the recording...although I think I get the idea from the comments. My stepdad was like this growing up, all you can really do is keep your composure and recognize that this isn't how you want to deal with people or your own kids. You're not going to win if you turn it into an argument because she is your mom and she feels that she's teaching you an important lesson.
As for the bit about balancing your checking account, blah...I don't even bother anymore. I pay all my bills online anyway and write exactly one check a month for rent. What's the point of balancing it when I know how much is in there? It's not like there's any real check float anymore...everything clears in a day or two anyway.
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Whatever. Just balanced it. Seems sort of lame to me considering I"m not going to write a >5000 dollar check, but I'll do it ><
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The solution to all of this is be better than her at everything. That's how I was with my parents and they couldn't say shit to me.
At your age I was telling THEM how to properly pay off their debt by doing meticulous yet easy-to-understand calculations on paper and showing them the difference between paying debt off via high interest first/ lowest balance first/lowest interest first etc etc..
After a while, when they said "oh you should do this" I'd give them a look that said "are you fucking serious right now?"
There's no room for weakness in this life. Show them that you're brilliant. (unless you're not, in which case ignore everything I said)
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On February 15 2011 16:53 Abductedonut wrote:
The solution to all of this is be better than her at everything. That's how I was with my parents and they couldn't say shit to me.
At your age I was telling THEM how to properly pay off their debt by doing meticulous yet easy-to-understand calculations on paper and showing them the difference between paying debt off via high interest first/ lowest balance first/lowest interest first etc etc..
After a while, when they said "oh you should do this" I'd give them a look that said "are you fucking serious right now?"
There's no room for weakness in this life. Show them that you're brilliant. (unless you're not, in which case ignore everything I said)
Haha.
My parents aren't dumb at all. Just annoying as hell.
Mom graduated top of class from UCSF
Dad isn't that all intelligent but he doesn't give me shit about this kind of stuff. My mom does
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Dude listening to it now and it's making me twitchy. She can sit there and talk to you normally. Listening to it she has a point but she's going about it all the wrong way. I'm 22 with all the responsibilities anyone would have minus mortgage and i dont balance a checkbook. Thats what online banking is for nowadays. Just check that every other day and you're good to go. Plus no one pays checks for anything outside of utilities anymore.
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Sorry, but you're mom was seriously a huge bitch about this. She realized that she told you jack shit as a prerequisite to this, yet she still gave you the third degree. T_T;; I will agree with you though, you were really agreeable the whole time, but that kinda seemed like that only pissed her off more that she wasn't getting challenged, lol. Once you sounded a little angry she finally started backing down, which is soooooooo nonsensical.
But oh well, whatcha gonna do. Learn what you can from this, and hopefully avoid situations like these again.
Congrats on finding your reed though! :D
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On February 16 2011 04:10 Tenshik wrote:
Dude listening to it now and it's making me twitchy. She can sit there and talk to you normally. Listening to it she has a point but she's going about it all the wrong way. I'm 22 with all the responsibilities anyone would have minus mortgage and i dont balance a checkbook. Thats what online banking is for nowadays. Just check that every other day and you're good to go. Plus no one pays checks for anything outside of utilities anymore.
same here i've never balanced my checkbook. maybe bad practice but really not that big of a deal.
and that voice just pierces right through my ears holy crap.
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Your mom sounds insane and incredibly imbalanced. Don't even respond to shit like this. Tell her you look forward to discussing it when she calms down and starts behaving like a reasonable fucking human being.
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Now that I heard it, OP is in the wrong completely. Listen to your mom, stop being a baby. I'm going to need more evidence to justify calling her a bitch.
Listen to your mom more, and stop talking back.
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On February 16 2011 09:55 Alexson wrote:
Now that I heard it, OP is in the wrong completely. Listen to your mom, stop being a baby. I'm going to need more evidence to justify calling her a bitch.
Listen to your mom more, and stop talking back.
Do you suggest I simply sit and listen to what she says, nodding and agreeing and not disagreeing ever? Might be worth a shot.
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On February 16 2011 11:27 Froadac wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2011 09:55 Alexson wrote:
Now that I heard it, OP is in the wrong completely. Listen to your mom, stop being a baby. I'm going to need more evidence to justify calling her a bitch.
Listen to your mom more, and stop talking back. Do you suggest I simply sit and listen to what she says, nodding and agreeing and not disagreeing ever? Might be worth a shot.
Hate the chime in again, but essentially yes.
Just nod, agree and let her talk. That's it. If you think your mother is beyond the norms of many mothers (especially us Hispanic mothers), don't worry you're not.
Your mother sounds like every mother except she probably doesn't add physical violence to the mix (mine did, but it was to teach me lessons, etc. etc. It's a cultural/ethnicity thing)
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On February 16 2011 11:44 Torte de Lini wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2011 11:27 Froadac wrote:On February 16 2011 09:55 Alexson wrote:
Now that I heard it, OP is in the wrong completely. Listen to your mom, stop being a baby. I'm going to need more evidence to justify calling her a bitch.
Listen to your mom more, and stop talking back. Do you suggest I simply sit and listen to what she says, nodding and agreeing and not disagreeing ever? Might be worth a shot. Hate the chime in again, but essentially yes. Just nod, agree and let her talk. That's it. If you think your mother is beyond the norms of many mothers (especially us Hispanic mothers), don't worry you're not. Your mother sounds like every mother except she probably doesn't add physical violence to the mix (mine did, but it was to teach me lessons, etc. etc. It's a cultural/ethnicity thing)
Well, there WAS physical violence til I had major surgery ^^
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Just wanted to say you have a really good attitude about this even if you are 16. Hell way better than I did at that age. I can feel you on the whole crazy mother thing.
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EPT
