I live in a frat house. During high school I played video games religiously, didn't drink and avoided parties. I decided to go greek on a whim and I've never looked back. I always enjoy stories about lifestyles I know nothing of like poker players or active duty military so I figure I can add my own flavor to the mix of blogs already here.
I live in "the coffin." It's a room on the second floor and was initially designed to be a bathroom but was later converted to a bedroom. There are no windows, so anybody can sleep in here at any time of day. Its not unusual for me to walk in and see somebody passed out on the couch. I've got two roommates. Theres a picture of one of the guys who lived here last year and his gf, we found it when we moved in so we set it up so everybody who enters sees it. My roommate was going to cut out a picture of his face and paste it over where the girl's but we haven't gotten around to it. The guy in the picture is this asian guy with a big smile on his face (he was adopted from south korea). When you see the picture and his goofy smile you just know the guy is charismatic, and hes pretty beloved here by everybody who knows him. We get asked so many times why that picture is there that instead of explaining everything I just did, we'll just say he's our hero and secretly chuckle to each other (he is NOT our hero lol). Anyway this room has a lot more I can say about it but I'll get to that later.
I go to a college of ~5,000 people, so its small enough that everybody knows everybody through friends, but big enough that you don't have to know if you don't want. My fraternity is ~50 guys, so for our campus we're pretty mid-sized. We used to be smaller but I had a big role in turning that around I'm really proud of. I'll write about that at some later point. I'll explain something about this campus: if you want to party, you either have to be a girl or be in a fraternity. There are houses of guys that pop up from time to time which function as mini-fraternities and live off the charisma of the residents until they graduate, but these are rare. I still don't get "partying," I hate open parties. Lots of douche bags. I probably get a slanted view on this because our open parties probably attract all the people greek organizations wouldn't take. But I love parties with my fraternity, we're all friends getting drunk together and then you throw bitchy women into the mix at some point--hilarity always ensues.
The purpose of my fraternity is, in a nut shell, to give a bunch of guys a place to get drunk and meet women safely. We have a kick-ass clubhouse to do it in and the process is formalized. We call these "mixers," when we have a party with another sorority or (women's swim team!?). But the whole point is cultivating a lifestyle where the entire thing is a party, and it is really, really fun. I feel kind of off-put explaining this on a forum where I've read so many nerd vs jock blogs, and I don't feel like fighting all the stereotypes about greek organizations portrayed in "off-to-college" movies and tv. These stereotypes come from somewhere, but by and large--they're a joke. Or at least, we are. We all go "what's up, bro" and "lets go get swoll" to each other, "hey man you wanna bro out?" but every time we say that its with a wink and smirk. If somebody picks up on that, we like them. If they don't, its fun to mess with them.
Over half the guys in the frat have girlfriends, which kind of makes us lame to other sororities right now. Most of the guys they'd want to hook up with are already taken or leave earlier in the night. This has kind of given us a reputation as being notoriously mediocre, we're fun but nothing too wild. I wonder what would happen if suddenly we were all single again and drunkenly thrown into a room full of women. That would be a shit-show lol. But anyway last Saturday was the Champagne Campaign. It's a "date party," you find a date and stick with them throughout the night. You and your date both get a bottle of champagne each and you have to finish it. For guys, this isn't a big deal. We need a lot of alcohol on top of that. For girls, though, they're small and are given one container of alcohol for the night. Its like an unwritten, unspoken unrealized law that if you get a bottle of champagne bought for you, you need to finish it. So all these ~120 pound women are finishing way more than they'd usually drink quicker than they'd usually do it. I'll tell the story of that night
My gf and I have been going out for..between 1-2 months. For valentines day we decided to get each other white elephant gifts. I was walking through wal-greens one day and saw this little box with fuzzy handcuffs in it. I was really excited, but when I got into line there was a dad with two little girls asking questions about everything in front of me so I tried my best to hide it to help him avoid an awkward conversation lol. I'm pretty sure the dad saw what I was buying though because he glared at me for a good 20 seconds while I pretended not to notice. A new register opened up so I was able to get away from them. When the cashier guy saw what I was buying he kind of looked at me, but I was really excited. "I'm so glad I found these." he smiled, chuckled a little, and wished me a happy valentines day before I left. Oh, today will be..
Anyway, for $5.99 + tax I got fuzzy handcuffs, a blindfold, two dice where one is a body part and the other an action, a really cheesy do-not-disturb door handle (which I am totally using) and this little wand with a red fuzzy cotton ball at the end. I'm not sure what this last thing is for but I call it my spanking stick. Well I had all this ready to go for valentines day by saturday at 6:00. By 9, we'd started drinking. Girls were trickling in and I walked around the house with two shot glasses and some vodka taking and giving shots where I saw it was appropriate. My gf was at a talent show and coming over after it was done so I had time to kill. I ended up playing beer die--
I'm going to take a moment to describe drinking games. I didn't like them or understand them for a good year, but then something clicked and I fell in love with them. Its similar to starcraft, you start a game on bnet and you're in it to win it. I love beer pong and beer die. Most of you probably know what these are but TL has a strong international presence so I'll explain anyway.
Beer pong is where you set up cups at either end of a ping pong table, fill them with beer, then take turns throwing ping pong balls back and forth. If the ball goes in, you drink. If you get rid of all your opponents cups, you win and take the next challenger. Games are usually played with teams but sometimes 1v1's or 1v2's happen. Beer die is where you take 4 cups, fill them with beer and put them at each corner of a rectangular table. You throw a die up in the air and try to land it on the opponents side, bounce off and hit the ground. If it does that, you get a point. If they catch it 1-handed no trapping its no point. If it hits their cup, they take a drink, no point. If it goes in their cup its a point and they have to finish the cup, and if it misses or stays on the table shooting team takes a drink.
Drinking games are so much more fun when you put pride on the line. These games get cut-throat, its life or death, and its really fun. Crazy unlikely things always seem to happen and its amazing if you and your opponent are good. I like them so much I'll get girls to play with me just so I can play and I usually care more about the game than them. If they suck, I get mad at them. I don't know if you've ever 2v2'd with friends who aren't serious about sc, and you always get put with the worst person because you're the best player, then you lose anyway because 2 good players > 1 great player and 1 awful player. When you lose and you see your teammate has had 20 minutes to do whatever he wanted and he's 1-base with a battlecruiser, and for some reason his scvs have +1 armor--that the kind of frustration I feel when these girls suck.
I forgot what I was typing about. So anyway I run out of vodka and start playing beer die. First to 5 points wins, win by 2. Me and my partner just aren't warmed up or something and we're playing a guy who for some reason decided to bring 5 dates. I completely understand getting women to compete for you, but the point of Champagne Campaign is for couples. Pretty much everybody in the fraternity managed to find a date so we don't need extra women. So we're playing this guy and one of his dates, he keeps getting up and talking and taking forever. He's the worst partner ever, one of those guys, if you know what I'm talking about. I decide he's gonna wait for us instead and run upstairs to take another shot. I offer and my partner comes too, we do a shot and then run back downstairs. It was 4-2, and through a series of amazing throws and diving catches we pull it even 4-4. We're shooting back and forth, diving all over the place and its 5-4, then my teammate makes a diving catch, throws it to me before he hits the ground and I throw up the die and my shot lands barely on their side of the table, bounces backwards and the other guy dives for it and he hits the ground and the die falls just beyond his fingertips. There was celebrating
My big suddenly opens the door and hes holding like $30 of balloons. In my fraternity we have a mentor system where you get a "big brother," but I've heard them called "pledge dads" and a variety of other things I can't recall. My big is on the Student Activities Board for school, and our SAB is good. They got Ben Folds to come and tickets were only $7. Well hes holding all these balloons from the talent show, a huge string of them with 2 bricks at either end. He shouts "Hey kurtis (not my real name but I'm not using any real names ever in this post) come help!" I run out, grab a brick and and we walk in the middle of the party with a 25 foot string of helium balloons. We bring it down into the basement, set it up as an entrance to the stage where all the dancing takes place but after getting some opinions we put it on the bar.
This entire time I've been ignoring my phone, so I check it and my gf asked what time it started 2 hours ago. Whoops. I tell her it started and to wear something nice. I just assumed that champagne = formal dress, but it didnt occur to me to tell her so she starts running around campus trying to find a dress. I tell her specifically what one I want her to wear to save time SO 45 minutes later shes finally ready to go. Jeese.
She walks in, I grab her and run upstairs. I have 2 things prepared for tonight, I put ice in ziploc bags and put them in an old briefcase I found and lay 2 bottles of sprite + peach schnapps in it artfully. Its my boozecase, always something new in it every week. I like to have it ready just in case, as often happens, I end up in my room with a lot of women and a hopeful guy or two. I leave it kind of out of the way but still visible so eventually somebody asks what it is. I won't say a word, go over grab it, lay it down on the table carefully. theres something magical about opening a briefcase, so by this point everybody in the room is always watching to see what will happen, and so I open it up and theres liquor with a bunch of chilled shot glasses. This one was specifically for my roommate who's turned down at least one proposition a weekend this entire year. I don't get it, but w/e...he finally invited a gal over and I'll be damned if they weren't going to sleep together.
but the other thing I had was two bottles of champagne with fuzzy handcuffs around them. I tell her she's getting part of her valentines day present early, pull out the champagne and just watch her face. She gets embarrassed about everything so when she saw them I know she liked it, but she was embarrassed and turned bright red and tried to hide that she liked it which made her even more cute. I took her arm, put them on and went downstairs to shoot the caps off our bottles. (can't take handcuffs off until the bottles are finished)
this post is getting long so I'll summarize the rest of the night. I set up a pong table, we hold it for a while despite me not being able to shoot with my good hand, we wander around, talk with people and slowly kill our bottles. I don't know how it always happens but whenever I open up the door to my room people appear. The entrance isn't really..there, you know, its on the 2f at the end of a hallway, but me and my gf end up there and suddenly theres 3 other couples in the room. Somebody asks about my briefcase, one thing leads to another and at this point everybody is really good and drunk. I don't remember what happens, we go downstairs and dance for a while in the basement. The basement is perfect, theres a large bar against one wall, a large stage on the other, blacklights in the ceiling and I don't know what its called--a disco system, where colored lights move around the room. We have a huge brand new speaker system, and all along the walls are years of murals, signs, banners, road signs (I'm responsible for a stop sign and a one-way sign) and a school scoreboard we managed to get in a surplus auction. Usually have to hide the control switches because someone always gets obnoxious with the buzzer. Theres also poles supporting the house all over, which is really convenient.
So we dance a while and go back upstairs to my room (more like I carry her). We get in, get up into my bed (I have the most comfortable bed at my school) and I have to explain something else. I sleep on a bunk bed with a really solid wooden frame. I get the top, and one of my roommates gets the bottom. The bottom has curtains which close it off and a light somebody jury-rigged on the inside, we call it the man-cave. My and my gal get up into my bed and realize my roommate is beneath us, and so is his date. They start fucking and she gets really, really vocal. It sounded like a porn star being overenthusiatic, me and my gf start laughing. later my roommate tells me he could barely keep a straight face.
The best way to describe this is the next day at meeting, near the end we have a compliments/complaints section where we compliment or bitch at people. "I would like to compliment my roommate busy on the bottom bunk while I was busy on the top." I would also like the complain about the lack of high-fiving.
Well I learn later he wanted to go dance, asks her then his date pushes him against a wall and starts making out with him. hes like "ok" then she marches up to our room and basically throws him in bed. Then we come in. So shes on the bottom bunk groaning, I'm on the top bunk and I start imitating her really loud noises and soon we're all giggling. Then somebody knocks on the door, and I remember I invited another couple in for a slumber party because my other roommate is gone and he has this massive bed. We were going to build pillow forts but that'll happen some other night. Well they knock for a while but I'm not getting up so they leave. I'm still trying to think of a name for this experience, where two couples are fucking on the top and bottom bunks, so let me know if you think of a good one.
We all woke up the next morning feeling like shit. My roomate's date apparently didn't remember the night before (uh-oh) but then when she realizes where she is she starts cuddling really hard with roommate. Apparently for her, mission accomplished. I think they might start dating soon.
The campaign was successful.
If any of you have questions about any aspect of greek life I'm happy to answer them and/or confirm/deny any conceptions you might have. I'll be typing stories as they come. This post ended up pretty long so thats it for tonight
but you don't remember it that way, and thats what counts right?
and ill assume you went to a larger campus because mine doesnt have frat rows. id avoid them too, those guys are generally douche bags and especially in groups
I kinda despise this type of things... Before when I used to go clubbing, which is similar to this, it felt kind of ok experiencing stuff, but before it and after it, I go back to being disgusted. Don't ask why.
On February 14 2011 21:42 Pika Chu wrote: I don't understand what's with the repetitive "greek" term around here, what does it stand for in this context?
The fraternities are named with greek letters. e.g Kappa Tau or something.
On February 14 2011 21:45 Pondo wrote: So jealous of the American system. No fraternities and sororities in Australia and living on campus is generally only for people who live far away.
Anywayz sounds like you're have a sick time man. Good read.
Me too, there's a really good campus culture here at UQ though, so there's still a good amount of campus parties and such. Wish I lived on campus though :/ It's just too damn expensive!
What I hate about PH is that there's no frat houses, physical hazing IS A MUST if you want to get in; and there's no automatic "chick attactor" factor to being a frat guy; most try to be discreet about it since being a fratman = a ticket to getting jumped on with pipes and 2x2s on campus or at night.
No offense, but the concept of frat life seems very weird for me. It's a pinnacle of hedonism and for me it implies a weird concept of women and sexuality. Maybe it's just not for me, but you sound really happy with it. So to many more good party nights for you, sir.
On February 14 2011 21:34 niteReloaded wrote: I kinda despise this type of things... Before when I used to go clubbing, which is similar to this, it felt kind of ok experiencing stuff, but before it and after it, I go back to being disgusted. Don't ask why.
Glad it's making you happy tho.
I think I might be rebelling. My parents aren't religious, but they've raised me and my family with a strict moral code. My brother goes here too and he still hasn't realized his identity is separate. I know that I can't sustain this lifestyle long-term, but when it can balance with school its interesting. Initially, I did feel shameful and bad. But theres what I want, then theres what my parents want. I used to be a judging insecure nerd during high school, now I'm an open social nerd who has a large network of friends and acquaintances I can rely on for just about literally anything. it goes much deeper than I could even initially conceive
On February 14 2011 21:42 Pika Chu wrote: I don't understand what's with the repetitive "greek" term around here, what does it stand for in this context?
So there are groups of people who pool time, money and effort into debauchery. These groups over time have been formalized into organizations identified by greek letters. these are the "greeks." there is a lot of media (tv, movies, err...) about college and "greek life"
On February 15 2011 01:18 Mavkar wrote: No offense, but the concept of frat life seems very weird for me. It's a pinnacle of hedonism and for me it implies a weird concept of women and sexuality. Maybe it's just not for me, but you sound really happy with it. So to many more good party nights for you, sir.
Thanks. It's certainly not for everybody, thats how we know we're working. And hopefully I'll paint a more realistic picture as I relate more stories. We're just guys with a higher-than-average propensity for stuff other people usually don't do which usually stems from alcohol abuse.
On February 14 2011 22:49 Ciryandor wrote: What I hate about PH is that there's no frat houses, physical hazing IS A MUST if you want to get in; and there's no automatic "chick attactor" factor to being a frat guy; most try to be discreet about it since being a fratman = a ticket to getting jumped on with pipes and 2x2s on campus or at night.
PH? seriously? that sounds awful and thats nothing id like to be a part of.
Let's get this straight: there are girls who choose a certain fraternity and slut around there, and then theres everybody else. There might be 1-2 girls/year who'd sleep with a guy just because he was from a certain frat and everybody knows who they are. When girls come over here to party theres no automatic attraction factor. To paraphrase a wise man, our success is dependent not on the gifts of alcohol but the merits of our efforts.
Also, physical hazing is stupid. I know bigger frats at bigger schools still do that but honestly, unless its funny for everybody and actually bonds people together more any kind of hazing is dumb as shit. There are duties and standards, but then theres going too far. Its a thicker line than people realize.
If you can keep up with the lifestyle then all the more power to you. Just be careful not to make the gals drink so much they need medical attention (I was an RA and had to send a girl to the hospital after one of those champagne nights; it wasn't pretty). Just so long as you realize you can only keep up like this for the next few years or so live it up!
On February 14 2011 22:49 Ciryandor wrote: What I hate about PH is that there's no frat houses, physical hazing IS A MUST if you want to get in; and there's no automatic "chick attactor" factor to being a frat guy; most try to be discreet about it since being a fratman = a ticket to getting jumped on with pipes and 2x2s on campus or at night.
I have a few questions. Are you saying that being a frat guy means you'll get hit by large pieces of lumber and metal pipes by random thugs where you go to school? If so, where do you go to school, and are you serious?
On February 15 2011 10:26 StorkHwaiting wrote: There's a thin line between frat hazing and latent homosexual aggression. Kind of hot.
haha, theres two gay guys in my fraternity who would definitely agree with you
On February 15 2011 11:24 Servius_Fulvius wrote: If you can keep up with the lifestyle then all the more power to you. Just be careful not to make the gals drink so much they need medical attention (I was an RA and had to send a girl to the hospital after one of those champagne nights; it wasn't pretty). Just so long as you realize you can only keep up like this for the next few years or so live it up!
we always have 2-3 sobers at every party making sure everybody is ok. we haven't ever had an incident of alcohol poisoning a night of sleep or two and some gatorade couldn't cure nor hopefully will we. one time we got this guy to drink piss though
On February 15 2011 17:19 DivinO wrote: Wait is this at CMU?
cmu has frats and women?
i recall cmu has frats from people i knew, women maybe not so much, but i haven't been there...
as for the writing i actually got bored when it got around " the summarizing" part, but i already knew what was going to be said way early on. actually who am i kidding the end story was pretty boring too >_<, but i dont care about the frat life so yeah biased opinion.
LOL! my roommate was cracking up at this yesterday so i checked it out
some people see tfm as a guide, i see it as a checklist.
you see this bag? its full of my fucks. you don't get any. I will give you zero fucks.
somebody told me women are a marathon, not a sprint. i sprint marathons, bro
mighta butchered a little but this video has some great lines. this guy isn't serious, although theres certainly a lot of frat guys who would see this and think he is. he highlights a bunch of idealized frat boy stereotypes in a funny way. i also suggest finding the "frat flex off" video if you liked this one
but i feel like you're looking for some analysis on behalf of greeks, not just my reaction: this last week my frat and another on campus partied together. they are the most bro people ive ever met, not even in a self aware way, just literally dumb meatheads. at first i thought they were joking and i had a moment where i literally couldn't accept in my head they really excisted. when it comes to "bro" guys, there are a couple different kinds, you have the dumb meathead general douche although he might actually be pretty nice and genuine, the self-aware "bro" like the guy in the video (basically they troll real life with how "frat" they are) and then the anti-bro sector.
i guess you can have selective self-aware bros, i like dressing fratty because it looks nice and ill chant and go to the gym a lot but never in public or in front of people who know im not serious. basically ill pick and choose the things i like about being "frat." however i never like being a douche bag or making a big deal about how im in a frat.
well actually, the douche bag part, when fuckers are talking real loud on the phone or to friends in the library i will be a complete ass to them. it really pisses me off, im trying to study do that shit elsewhere.
Definitely enjoyed the read. I like how you took the full advantage or most out of your fraternity and this story sorta gives me the vibes and motivation to enjoy myself more at my own than being a hermit of my own. 5/5!
Friday, 2:30 p.m.: Done with classes, drive ~3 hours to lake of ozarks for friend's bachelor party Saturday, 12:00 a.m.: turn 21 (drinking age in USA) Saturday, 10:00 a.m.: be back home in time for concert dress rehearsal Saturday, 11:00 a.m.: start drinking again with alumni (best opportunity of year to network), try to hide that I turned 21 Saturday, 5:00 p.m.: Head off to Spring Formal. Spring formals a big deal because ALL the alumni in the area come with their wives or girlfriends. At this point the fact I'm freshly 21 will have gotten out and I will probably be bought upwards of 25 drinks whether I want them or not Sunday, 10:00 a.m. to Noon: Play concert at local salvation army and have lunch afterwards
On March 29 2011 15:24 QuickStriker wrote: Definitely enjoyed the read. I like how you took the full advantage or most out of your fraternity and this story sorta gives me the vibes and motivation to enjoy myself more at my own than being a hermit of my own. 5/5!
thanks. being a hermit feels good short term and horrible long term. just walked through my old dorm yesterday and the lounge was filled with freshmen guys who formed a wow guild. I genuinely regret spending time doing that
On March 29 2011 17:26 Illusion. wrote: what frat are you in?
im also in a frat, and i was in the EXACT same position as you.
IT CHANGED MY LIFE.
haha, yeah it definitely gave/is giving me opportunities to develop as a person
some people see tfm as a guide, i see it as a checklist.
you see this bag? its full of my fucks. you don't get any. I will give you zero fucks.
somebody told me women are a marathon, not a sprint. i sprint marathons, bro
mighta butchered a little but this video has some great lines. this guy isn't serious, although theres certainly a lot of frat guys who would see this and think he is. he highlights a bunch of idealized frat boy stereotypes in a funny way. i also suggest finding the "frat flex off" video if you liked this one
but i feel like you're looking for some analysis on behalf of greeks, not just my reaction: this last week my frat and another on campus partied together. they are the most bro people ive ever met, not even in a self aware way, just literally dumb meatheads. at first i thought they were joking and i had a moment where i literally couldn't accept in my head they really excisted. when it comes to "bro" guys, there are a couple different kinds, you have the dumb meathead general douche although he might actually be pretty nice and genuine, the self-aware "bro" like the guy in the video (basically they troll real life with how "frat" they are) and then the anti-bro sector.
i guess you can have selective self-aware bros, i like dressing fratty because it looks nice and ill chant and go to the gym a lot but never in public or in front of people who know im not serious. basically ill pick and choose the things i like about being "frat." however i never like being a douche bag or making a big deal about how im in a frat.
well actually, the douche bag part, when fuckers are talking real loud on the phone or to friends in the library i will be a complete ass to them. it really pisses me off, im trying to study do that shit elsewhere.
Pretty accurate. I know some good frat guys but there are also a lot who are the normal dicks.
Now, I go to UT Austin, which is one of the largest universities in the US (over 50,000 people) and it has a lot of frats (but, because we have so many people, they're not a majority of the students). There are parties all the time (we normally get voted as the number 1 party school in the US), especially in "West Campus" which is, literally, just off the west side of where the school buildings are.
Personally, I knew I never wanted to join a frat. I'm not that kind of guy. I've taken an aptitude test, and, on the attached personality part, I was classified as an "ambivert" who leans to the extrovert side. Basically, I'm sociable and like being with friends but also value having alone time and can get along by myself. I don't like massive parties; I prefer smaller apartment parties where I know most of the people. Meeting people is great, it's just that I don't feel like not knowing anyone at a party since that's just not as fun to me. I go out with friends fairly often and am happy with the life I have in college, but I'm probably not what you'd call an "avid partier." Actually, it might not be too much of a stretch to say that I'm average.
This long wind-up is basically to say that I totally understand where you're coming from and more power to you for making the choice. I think I would have done okay there, too, but I feel really content where I am.
Also, major props for having your birthday this Saturday: it's my 21st, too!!!
On March 30 2011 09:12 shinjin wrote: kappa siggg all day what fraternity are you in OP? just curious
pm'd
to prevent any sort of liability because i will blatantly answer any question i dont want the name of my fraternity in this thread. if you want to know pm me or ask on here and ill pm you
I'm currently the Membership Chair but man I'll tell you what... It is quite difficult to recruit I believe at a D2 school.
I also am tired of hearing people trash talking Fraternities. If your National Organization is respectable and doing their job, they will make sure you are holding up your side of the bargain. Yes, there is partying and lots of fun, but at the same time it is not all fun and games. We (Greeks) do more philanthropy, community service, scholarship events, etc. then nearly any other organization on campus. If anybody talks shit to me or says something like "i haven't tried it but it isn't for me" without a legitimate reason, I honestly believe they are ignorant wastes of time.
On April 03 2011 03:48 unDef wrote: I also am tired of hearing people trash talking Fraternities. If your National Organization is respectable and doing their job, they will make sure you are holding up your side of the bargain. Yes, there is partying and lots of fun, but at the same time it is not all fun and games. We (Greeks) do more philanthropy, community service, scholarship events, etc. then nearly any other organization on campus. If anybody talks shit to me or says something like "i haven't tried it but it isn't for me" without a legitimate reason, I honestly believe they are ignorant wastes of time.
I dont care when people talk shit on the greek system, sometimes they even have legitimate reasons and stories opposed to the regular media/church fueled pseudo-hatred. I used to, I used to feel like I had to defend everything greek. Then I realized the entire thing is so big, so what if they hate a specific part. That's not me, and if they have a problem with me then its a problem with ME.
but it is fun sometimes. theres a chapter of APO here (national co-ed service fraternity) who think they're hot shit because they're really big, and although they have greek letters they..they are a collection of loosely associated people in a club, take anybody who wants in and pad resumes after doing an hour at the local ymca which they complain about before and after. greek but not greek at all. one day this apo gal saw my letters and decided to give me shit about how we don't do anything for the community. I asked her how many hours total her organization did, and when she told me I said "wow thats a lot. thats nearly as much as me and my two roommates did this semester." my fraternity logs more service time than all the other organizations on campus combined by more than twice over. i love getting into philanthropy fights because i know everything about mine, truly believe in it and can back that shit up.
and anybody who says its not for them and they haven't tried it, doesnt matter who they think they are: put them in a party with all their good friends who they go through thick and thin with and they like it. if anybody is truly exposed to the inner core of what my fraternity is, it might truly not be for them but they will be touched by it.
for recruitment...theres a lot to say. when i joined my chapter was slowly dwindling. we didn't have a defined sense of who we were or who we wanted to be, just an amorphous idea. i spent well over 50 hours reading about recruitment, reading books, talking to people, researching and more reading to develop a cohesive analysis of how to turn this around. i sat down for a long time with our rush chair and went through everything. this was last fall. this most previous spring semester, only 30 guys rushed in the spring. we got 11 new members, other organizations were lucky to get 1 or 2. not only did we get a bunch, but they're all really good guys. most of them didn't expect to go greek at all but due to the different kinds of focus and exposure they came to our events. we stressed we shouldn't be the only place they check out, the guys who went to other frat's stuff came back more sure of their decision to be with us. we gave out 12 bids, 12 were accepted but one guy had to drop because of other reasons. he plans on joining when he can later.
couple things which need to happen and be understood before you even start recruiting or it will become the typical dreaded rush week then everything goes back to regular. 1) your organization is defined by every individual action of its members. we see everything from the inside, but people on the outside only see incredibly thin slices of the whole. 2) your organization exists in ideas outside of anything you can touch, although you will touch and be touched by it. 3) if your organization doesn't have a defined and unified idea of what it is, create it and enforce it. 4) now that you have this firm ground, cultivate it and make it as attractive as possible. 5) what you're selling during rush is YOU. make sure it is the best product possible
then for rush 1) define what kind of people you want and how you'll judge them, don't take people for numbers. even if it starts out small, this process will enlarge given time. quality tends to lead to more quality 2) be aware of what you are and where you are. what kind of people come to your school? how will you appeal to them?
real quick example: school has ~5,000 people, 10% are greek. this means every rush there will always be the guys who are set on joining a frat and who will take whatever they can get. theres always another 20% who hate anything greek, then theres like 70% who are on the fence but never move past indecision. its this 70% we want to target.
my fraternity is mid-sized (soon to be large) on a campus which attracts a lot of people really focused on school. i did a project to completely revamp our study area/room and stressed how we maintain consistently top 3 org. gpa on campus. where some frats attract a certain kind of guy, we lack that uniformity while maintaining non clique-ness. theres a lot more i can say but im running out of time so im done for now
oh and 3) it isnt just one week. its the entire year, everywhere all the time.
ive been on the gravy train ever since last night at 9 and im keeping it strong. WOOO