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I'm getting too angry when I lose

Blogs > Whiplash
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Whiplash
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States2929 Posts
January 27 2011 21:57 GMT
#1
I feel like I'm getting way too angry when I lose. I fucking flip out and often time am BM to opponents when I shouldn't be. Its getting to the point where I'm yelling at the top of my lungs and slamming my desk when I lose. I feel like its getting worse and every time I'm even angrier. Is there a good way to deal with this? I don't have any anger issues outside of Starcraft and generally get over losses after a few minutes.

**
Cinematographer / Steadicam Operator. Former Starcraft commentator/player
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary25996 Posts
January 27 2011 21:59 GMT
#2
Why do you get angry?
Moderator
Mazer
Profile Joined April 2008
Canada1086 Posts
January 27 2011 21:59 GMT
#3
Not worth playing a game if you're not having fun. I've taken a week break from the game since I was hardly enjoying it anymore and don't miss it much. Playing some other games in the meantime.
Eirin
Profile Joined November 2010
Norway12 Posts
January 27 2011 22:00 GMT
#4
Physical exercisem, go jogging or something, it's supposed to help a lot
I totally lost that on purpose
kOre
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada3642 Posts
January 27 2011 22:02 GMT
#5
On January 28 2011 06:59 Mazer wrote:
Not worth playing a game if you're not having fun. I've taken a week break from the game since I was hardly enjoying it anymore and don't miss it much. Playing some other games in the meantime.

Yeah if you're taking the game to seriously just take a week long break or something and then return for the fun of the game. Or you can just play UMS games for a while?
http://www.starcraftmecca.net - Founder
hellbound
Profile Joined April 2010
United Kingdom2242 Posts
January 27 2011 22:02 GMT
#6
Is it all games or just ladder? I fight these tendencies by playing more friendly games with people I (at least somewhat) know. Ladder is for happy days...
-orb-
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5770 Posts
January 27 2011 22:05 GMT
#7
What you should do is...

... I got nothin
'life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery'
how sad that sc2 has no shield battery :(
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
January 27 2011 22:07 GMT
#8
just chill out.

it's ok to feel frustrated but just chill out, lol

why does it matter so much? just try again
Tabbris
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Bangladesh2839 Posts
January 27 2011 22:07 GMT
#9
Buy a book about Buddhism and find your inner peace
Navane
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Netherlands2751 Posts
January 27 2011 22:10 GMT
#10
In real life we hardly ever loose anymore. I mean, no one is gonna steal shit from you (ordinarily) or kill any of your relatives. It is only in games and sports that we still loose today. See broodwar as an opportunity to deal with losses. Because you will loose one day in real life and it will hit you less hard if you know ways to deal with it.
TelecoM
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States10700 Posts
January 27 2011 22:11 GMT
#11
take a break and smoke a joint, the only way I can play this game without raging is with weed. lol but thats actually a horrible idea because then when you are out of weed you won't want to play... ( like me)... ::face palm::
AKA: TelecoM[WHITE] Protoss fighting
Tenox
Profile Joined January 2007
Sweden128 Posts
January 27 2011 22:12 GMT
#12
Loosing in sc2 is so hard on you, because there's nothing/noone to be angry at but yourself. And I think that's a really hard to thing to realize, that there is ACTUALLY no one and absolutely nothing, that can be blaimed except yourself. Also in this anger atleast it seems most people find it extremely easy to make excuses for themselves and just direct that anger towards imba issues or what have you. Obviously 2-3minutes after the game you quickly come to your senses(hopefully), and you keep on playing. I've been consciously thinking about this as soon as I loose, just saying to myself that it's my own fault and I just need to focus more and play better. But it's still really hard to face and accept after every game you loose. I mean it's like this in most solo games, but it's never felt as hard as in sc1 or sc2.

I'd say some physical exercise like eirin semi-suggested can work, but personally I just want to get some wins and get my good mood back. Stopping to play when you're really rage loosing/tilting just makes your whole mood really sour for atleast a half-day.
Please check out my gallery at: 10ox.deviantart.com
NearPerfection
Profile Joined October 2010
232 Posts
January 27 2011 22:15 GMT
#13
Time to face reality, your probably a rager, you will probably always be a rager. How do you control your rager behavior? only known way is to stop what is making u rage, and from the OP what is making u rage is losing, so in order for you to stop raging at your opponents you have to beat them, if you win the game there is nothing to rage about, since you don't have to type gg cause u won people don't think ur BM when u leave the game without a GG. Obviously a perfect 100% record is not possible, but for most people 60-70% win rate will control symptoms of rage, 80-90% win rate and people won't even think u rage at all.
-orb-
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5770 Posts
January 27 2011 22:15 GMT
#14
On January 28 2011 07:11 GGzerG wrote:
take a break and smoke a joint, the only way I can play this game without raging is with weed. lol but thats actually a horrible idea because then when you are out of weed you won't want to play... ( like me)... ::face palm::


this is pretty much how I don't end up killing myself or others or breaking stuff

makes me worse at the game tho
'life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery'
how sad that sc2 has no shield battery :(
niteReloaded
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Croatia5282 Posts
January 27 2011 22:16 GMT
#15
On January 28 2011 06:59 Chill wrote:
Why do you get angry?

these type of stuff often doesn't make sense in the conscious mind, but the subconscious is perfectly acquainted with it.
Dgtl
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada889 Posts
January 27 2011 22:17 GMT
#16
On January 28 2011 06:59 Chill wrote:
Why do you get angry?

Probably because he is not chill enough.
^______________^
-Frog-
Profile Joined February 2009
United States514 Posts
January 27 2011 22:20 GMT
#17
embrace the rage
powered by coffee, driven by hate.
Gummy
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States2180 Posts
January 27 2011 22:21 GMT
#18
On January 28 2011 07:05 -orb- wrote:
What you should do is...

... I got nothin

Ahahahahahahahaha. You get so angry when you lose! :D But seriously, as everybody is saying, you should just relax and (Z)Chill.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.
Tenox
Profile Joined January 2007
Sweden128 Posts
January 27 2011 22:21 GMT
#19
Well, the question chill stated actually goes a long way. And the answer to the question actually is a bit deeper than one might think. Or maybe it's just me that's looking into it too much.
Please check out my gallery at: 10ox.deviantart.com
Turo
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Canada333 Posts
January 27 2011 22:22 GMT
#20
On January 28 2011 06:59 Chill wrote:
Why do you get angry?


Because he lost?

To OP when you're getting too pissed, do ten pushups fast. Helps me when i get mad!
CanucksJC
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Canada1241 Posts
January 27 2011 22:25 GMT
#21
This is why I don't ladder anymore... stupid all-ins one after another.
I find playing pick up games from chat channels or from practice partners much more relaxing
UBC StarCraft Club is official @ UBC Vancouver campus! Your first eSport community on campus. Welcomes players of all levels at UBC. Follow us on facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/group.php?gid=155630424470014 or IRC @ irc.rizon.net #ubcsc
Foreplay
Profile Joined May 2008
United States1154 Posts
January 27 2011 22:26 GMT
#22
I used to get super pissed when i lost but now i just don't set such high expectations for my self and i play much better and more relaxed. Try that.
Better than Pokebunny
Whiplash
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States2929 Posts
January 27 2011 22:35 GMT
#23
I generally just rage on ladder. In custom games with allies unless something really stupid happens I won't get angry, and if I do its not really that bad. I rage when I lose to something that isnt a good standard game generally.

I know when I lose on ladder its my fault, I never blame my opponents, even if I say stuff like EMP is imba and stuff I still know in the end i could have done something to prevent the loss.

Chill, saying just chill doesn't really mean anything to me, maybe if you go more in depth I can better understand the point your trying to get across.
Cinematographer / Steadicam Operator. Former Starcraft commentator/player
ThePurist
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada686 Posts
January 27 2011 22:35 GMT
#24
Gotta learn to embrace the fact that all-ins are part of them game.
I think you are too involved in the game and let your emotions interfere your play man.
Just don't take it too seriously and play to enjoy.
If you get all-in'ed or lose just walk/laugh it off. Raging is highly unnecessary.

GL
Gummy
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States2180 Posts
January 27 2011 22:35 GMT
#25
I was never particularly bothered by losing, which is probably why I never got really good. But what really frustrates me is retard teammates in team games.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.
Psyonic_Reaver
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States4341 Posts
January 27 2011 22:40 GMT
#26
Whiplash. As somebody that just lost his job over getting angry because of a video game. I can relate.

I know you're a competitive player and all players have trouble with this in all sports.

Find a hobby. It can be taking walks, hiking, gym, playing OSU (Like K-Rice), DDR, whatever can help you relax. Find a hobby to pour out your frustration in or spend time on to help you cool down.

Take breaks. I know you practice/play alot. But don't just take a break and stay connected to SC2, close it, and go do something else. Do this after you play 5 games, win or lose. Just take a 5 - 10min. break. Come back and start again.

If you find the anger building up, ask to pause. Most people will tolerate a 5min. pause, use this time to collect yourself. Remind yourself that you are a good person and that you really don't want to say anything harmful. If you can't pause, just walk away. Close the game. It's 1 loss. It's not world ending and even though that hurts, it doesn't hurt as much as damaging your own psych and character over a video game.

Hope that helps!
So wait? I'm bad? =(
s.a.y
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Croatia3840 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-27 22:41:31
January 27 2011 22:41 GMT
#27
i smash the table twice, F10 and quit.

if they say gg instead of me, i say douche and leave.
I am not good with quotes
niteReloaded
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Croatia5282 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-27 23:19:49
January 27 2011 22:43 GMT
#28
I have something for you.

As I type this, in another browser tab I'm uploading a recording that should have a pretty good shot of resolving this issue for you. And in a way that'll probly positively surprise even you once you're done with it.

It's a recording of a Zpoint session, you can take a look what it's about here: www.zpointforpeace.com

The creator of it has successfully treated shit as serious as war- and rape-caused PTSD, while people also use it for anxiety of public speaking etc, so a bit of nerd rage should be fine.

A while ago, TL user Racenilatr made a similar thread, and I uploaded the same thing for him, and he said to me that it has helped him immensely, so if it helps you too, then I'll probly make an official thread here on TL to help more people with various things that bother them.

The upload should be done in about 25 minutes, so I'll go take a shower and post the link then, cya~

EDIT:
Here's the link, 4 mp3s in a RAR, 43MBs: http://www.sendspace.com/file/ugxbq3


If you or anyone else has questions, feel free to ask either here or in PM, I know a thing or two about this.
Zim23
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1681 Posts
January 27 2011 22:50 GMT
#29
Rub one out every time you lose = problem solved.
Do an arranged marriage if she's not completely minging, and don't worry about dancing, get a go-kart, cheers.
Zapdos_Smithh
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Canada2620 Posts
January 27 2011 22:50 GMT
#30
I'm not an angry person in general either, but I get quite annoyed when I lose at sc.

Personally, SC isn't rewarding enough for the amount of effort put into it. If you play for years and practice so much and STILL lose, just something about that urks me. If you keep playing against people your level, you will always be 50/50 win/loss. As far as I can tell, the more effort you put in, the more benefits and rewards you should get. I just don't feel those benefits and rewards with competitive sc, which is why I stopped trying to take it semi-seriously.
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary25996 Posts
January 27 2011 22:53 GMT
#31
On January 28 2011 07:35 Whiplash wrote:
I generally just rage on ladder. In custom games with allies unless something really stupid happens I won't get angry, and if I do its not really that bad. I rage when I lose to something that isnt a good standard game generally.

I know when I lose on ladder its my fault, I never blame my opponents, even if I say stuff like EMP is imba and stuff I still know in the end i could have done something to prevent the loss.

Chill, saying just chill doesn't really mean anything to me, maybe if you go more in depth I can better understand the point your trying to get across.

It was a real question.

Are you upset by your opponent's choices or questions of abuse or "fairness", are you upset at the game for not being fair, are you upset at luck, are you upset at yourself for not executing, are you upset that you've spent so much time but are still losing, are you angry at the time you'll have to spend reclaiming lost points?

Lots of reasons to be upset for losing.
Moderator
TheWarbler
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States1659 Posts
January 27 2011 22:58 GMT
#32
Whiplash I am in the same boat you are. I get very angry when I lose vs people. Even my friends, but I am mad cause its my fault and I know I can execute a strategy better and play better then the opponent. If I get to angry I usually just log off and get on WoW :D. But come back in a bit for more. I just take a little break 15- an hour.
if you can believe you can concieve
masterbreti
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Korea (South)2711 Posts
January 27 2011 23:01 GMT
#33
On January 28 2011 07:35 Whiplash wrote:
I generally just rage on ladder. In custom games with allies unless something really stupid happens I won't get angry, and if I do its not really that bad. I rage when I lose to something that isnt a good standard game generally.

I know when I lose on ladder its my fault, I never blame my opponents, even if I say stuff like EMP is imba and stuff I still know in the end i could have done something to prevent the loss.

Chill, saying just chill doesn't really mean anything to me, maybe if you go more in depth I can better understand the point your trying to get across.


ok so i am the exact same way as you were describing. i would get pretty pissed when losing and not even emjoying your wins.

to be honest it would be beneficial to yuo to take a step back form the ladder and play random customs against random people. i felt myslef to better and play better cause i could lose without any pressure in losing. then in betweening gustoms games, maybe play a few (3-4) ladder matches during a day. you'll still rage, but it won't be in the degree as it is when you go game after game and do so.

my onther idea is having you learn meditation, when the rage comes, you learn to meditate and calm yourself. doing meditation can help you remember that not only do you lose when you rage, but when you rage you take the fun out of it for someone.

just try to keep a level head, when you lose, you are on a adrenaline high form the match and and it reacts badly with the littlest hint of anger.
Xyik
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
Canada728 Posts
January 27 2011 23:01 GMT
#34
Whiplash you do not need to be upset. You are a great player. I've been through this stage too. Sometimes the best way to deal with it is to just stop playing for a bit. Whenever I do this and I come back, losing no longer angers me. I just tell myself 'I havn't played in a long time, so its natural that I lose'. However this can sometimes just be a temporary solution as the excuse for losing will soon fade as you play more and more games.

Honestly, ask yourself why you are getting upset. One of the reasons could be that Starcraft is a big part of your life and is a skill that you value too highly. Obviously then you have to find other things in life that you can feel proud about and preoccupy yourself with. That, or devote more and more time in to playing until you become good enough that you have like a 65% win ratio. And even though that ratio will fall, you will find an excuse to feel better in when the reason it falls is because you are playing against top players. Don't always look at your losses with disdain and don't fool yourself into thinking getting angry will make you learn the game faster. It won't.
sob3k
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States7572 Posts
January 27 2011 23:07 GMT
#35
Just remember that the opponent gets the most lulz when you rage at them after a loss.

Don't give them the satisfaction.
In Hungry Hungry Hippos there are no such constraints—one can constantly attempt to collect marbles with one’s hippo, limited only by one’s hippo-levering capabilities.
Shaka_Kon
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Canada112 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-27 23:11:34
January 27 2011 23:11 GMT
#36
I used to(now i lose happily) do rage really hard whenever i die/lose/not going in my way etc...

now whenever i feel like im going to rage,
1 always try to laugh (or think something funny, better think fast).....
1.5 have this face to ur face (i love this face)
2 put my face down on the desk, close ur eyes...and breath..(this usually works the best)

I jsut cant yell like a maniac anymore kuz my parents would yell at me for doing it...and i cant explain it to them why im screaming and when i think back for waht i did, it's really embarrassing..
say cheese!...... NOT
niteReloaded
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Croatia5282 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-27 23:17:45
January 27 2011 23:17 GMT
#37
Here's the link I mentioned half a page ago:
4 mp3s in a RAR, 43MBs: http://www.sendspace.com/file/ugxbq3
eXigent.
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Canada2419 Posts
January 27 2011 23:24 GMT
#38
On January 28 2011 07:11 GGzerG wrote:
take a break and smoke a joint, the only way I can play this game without raging is with weed. lol but thats actually a horrible idea because then when you are out of weed you won't want to play... ( like me)... ::face palm::


You just described me to a tee. Without weed I hardly ever want to log on and play sc2. With weed, all I want to do is play play play. Very weird situation imo.
Gonff
Profile Joined May 2010
United States686 Posts
January 27 2011 23:30 GMT
#39
I second the exercise recommendation. At least three times a week do some sort of vigorous, whole-body exercise for at least 45 minutes. Swimming, martial arts / kickboxing, or even p90x and weightlifting are some ideas. You'll relax easier, sleep better, and breathe slower. I think you should give it a try.
Psyonic_Reaver
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States4341 Posts
January 28 2011 01:25 GMT
#40
p90x kicks the shit out of you, watch out. Fun but ohhhh man.
So wait? I'm bad? =(
SushilS
Profile Joined November 2010
2115 Posts
January 28 2011 01:56 GMT
#41
If you pick the rare blue flower that grow on the slopes of the Himalyas and then come to the top of the mountain, you may find what you were looking for in the first place.
iceiceice: I’m going to make this short; I am the one true tinker player.
Whiplash
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States2929 Posts
January 28 2011 03:25 GMT
#42
On January 28 2011 08:17 niteReloaded wrote:
Here's the link I mentioned half a page ago:
4 mp3s in a RAR, 43MBs: http://www.sendspace.com/file/ugxbq3


Thanks, will check this out.

Some good support in this thread and some people that relate, nice to see that.
Cinematographer / Steadicam Operator. Former Starcraft commentator/player
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
January 28 2011 04:01 GMT
#43
On January 28 2011 12:25 Whiplash wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 08:17 niteReloaded wrote:
Here's the link I mentioned half a page ago:
4 mp3s in a RAR, 43MBs: http://www.sendspace.com/file/ugxbq3


Thanks, will check this out.

Some good support in this thread and some people that relate, nice to see that.


been like this in a couple of weeks but instead of being angry I channel into sadness because I thought that it's much better to get sad after losing since your first reaction is to analyze what how when why you lost. Don't giving a fuck does work on me since it don't give a fuck and don't analyze the replays and just grind it further.
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
imalwaysdrunk
Profile Joined January 2011
Canada1 Post
January 28 2011 05:57 GMT
#44
dude, my girlfriend threw a spoon at me today while i was playing starcraft, i got so mad i ran over to her and pushed her into the bed and screamed DON'T FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN. then i ran back to the computer, finished my match, and got promoted to masters. rage is fine.

User was banned for this post.
sooch
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada299 Posts
January 28 2011 06:14 GMT
#45
You should ladder while on vent...it's pretty ez venting frustration at that allin you just died to when you've got a captive audience of people to listen to your shit :D

bood3e
Profile Joined February 2011
Finland9 Posts
February 25 2011 20:58 GMT
#46
I got banned for 3h last week because I rage every time I lose to cheese and thats like 90% of the games I lose. I cant control my rage.
"Apologize for playing that race"
palanq
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
United States761 Posts
February 26 2011 05:51 GMT
#47
On January 28 2011 07:17 Dgtl wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 06:59 Chill wrote:
Why do you get angry?

Probably because he is not chill enough.


;D

i started listening to that audio thing but I'm not a fan of this BS. But I think you can try to decide in your mind that you want to be calm and relax and not stress out about X can work to some extent.
time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
7000bitches
Profile Joined February 2011
United States27 Posts
February 26 2011 07:07 GMT
#48
buy a translation of the Tao te ching and read it after every loss.
Jackin' off bears
NarutO
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Germany18839 Posts
February 26 2011 08:17 GMT
#49
On January 28 2011 06:59 Chill wrote:
Why do you get angry?


People usually get angry because they are really eager. Same for me. I'm insanely eager and I hate losing so I'm getting really angry, mostly because of own mistakes but also from getting the impression of playing well but still losing because of imbalance when its usually totally not like that.


Guess the same for him. Try to relax-_-; Do some sports.. you need to have a good balance.
CommentatorPolt | MMA | Jjakji | BoxeR | NaDa | MVP | MKP ... truly inspiring.
awwnuts07
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States621 Posts
February 26 2011 09:06 GMT
#50
I'm always kind of amazed how incredibly rude people can be when they're hiding behind the anonymity of a game alias. Just try to behave like you would if your opponent was sitting right next to you. Pretend you aren't quite sure if he's crazy or not nor how he would react if you BM him. That should help keep your temper in check. After all, would you go nuts on someone who might stab you in the neck with a pen because you were mouthing off to him? Probably not.
I'm a noob
SpiritoftheTunA
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States20903 Posts
February 26 2011 09:12 GMT
#51
On January 28 2011 07:53 Chill wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 07:35 Whiplash wrote:
I generally just rage on ladder. In custom games with allies unless something really stupid happens I won't get angry, and if I do its not really that bad. I rage when I lose to something that isnt a good standard game generally.

I know when I lose on ladder its my fault, I never blame my opponents, even if I say stuff like EMP is imba and stuff I still know in the end i could have done something to prevent the loss.

Chill, saying just chill doesn't really mean anything to me, maybe if you go more in depth I can better understand the point your trying to get across.

It was a real question.

Are you upset by your opponent's choices or questions of abuse or "fairness", are you upset at the game for not being fair, are you upset at luck, are you upset at yourself for not executing, are you upset that you've spent so much time but are still losing, are you angry at the time you'll have to spend reclaiming lost points?

Lots of reasons to be upset for losing.

I think the anger happens simply because of losing, and what you are referring to are the various ways to rationalize that anger. Going along with this, I think rationalizing the anger as "not executing" is probably the most constructive. Learning to think straight while angry would probably help too, keep sight of the most +EV (read: solid) builds and strategies you can be doing on ladder and keep doing those, no matter how much you're tilting. If you really need to get rid of the tilt, you can find coping mechanisms for that, but if you can play well on rage, that's probably even better.
posting on liquid sites in current year
bLuR
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada625 Posts
February 26 2011 09:27 GMT
#52
Stop losing!
Normal
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