EPTFirst, the (spouse, ex, any person you can't stand) ones:
-My wife is like a Boodlord: massive, slow, and infects everything she sees with those annoying crabs.
-My wife is like a Reaver: every 5 seconds, balls come out of her mouth.
-My wife is like Aldaris: I do one thing wrong and she never shuts the hell up.
-My wife is like a Siege Tank: Finger on the O and she's ready to blow.
-My wife is like an Enemy Carrier: When she arrives, I'm screwed.
-My wife is like an Enemy Battlecruiser: I pray that she doesn't have a cannon to hit me with.
-My wife is like a Devourer: makes a cloud of gas every 5 seconds.
-My wife is like a Void Ray: the longer you wait to deal with her, the harder she's going to pound you.
Now, the friendly neighborhood comparisons:
-My lawyer is like Aldaris: always wants more minerals from me.
-My dog is like a Zergling: he'll keep ramming his head into me until I fall.
-My dog is like a Defiler: can never get enough food.
-My dog is like an SCV: always brings me some minerals.
-My neighbor's kid is like a muta harass: won't leave me the hell alone.
-My neighbor's kid is like a Baneling: only cute from a distance.
-My neighbor's kid is like an enemy Larva: give him time and he'll become a pain in the ass.
-My grandfather is like an Immortal: doesn't know where his walker is.
-My mailman is like Team Liquid: gives me news, porn, and sports in one friendly blue package.
-My television is like Team Liquid: you stay with one long enough, the other seems useless.
