EPTGet ready for some foul language.
Story #1
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So last night im chillin with the crew, decide to check out some new bar in town, some kinda redneck sh1t, ugly assed f@gs wearing leather waistcoats n sh1t. spend more on a silk tie than these b1tches spent on their rusty assed trucks.
Walk in, got every guys eyes on me, im infamous around here son. Get a table and order in some beers, on the house of course. Notice some guys across the room hollering about some sh1t so i walk over, turns out some local ***** is arm wrestling for cash, thinsk he hot sh1t, $10 a go. I lay down $1,000, and take a seat. Grip up and my arm damn near blocked out the sunlight, eclipsed his ass. I gave him a couple seconds to feel like a big man, highlight of his pathetic life, thinking hes got a chance with my strong assed self, next thing he knows SLAM bust his arm down, snapped his wrist in two, he starts screamin n sh1t, ruining my buzz so i knock him the **** out with a chair and order some more beers.
Me n the crew go back to my house, suppin some premium brew in my room, got some loud ass music on, next thing i know my dads banging at tht door, shouting some sh1t.Open the door and he starts gettin in my face about the music, telling me to shut the hell up. My ***** dad is aways trying sh1t with me tryin to look like a big man in front of my crew. Im about ready to knock him out, crews on my back telling me to wreck his skull so i grab him in a headlock and start running round the room. Crews hollering n sh1t seein his weak assed legs wiggling like a b1tch, hes whining like a ***** to let him go but i got his neck locked up in my polska grip and this b1tch aint going nowhere.
Swinging him around slammin his ass into walls n sh1t but hes still actin like a ****ing b1tch., wont shut the hell up so i think "**** this sh1t" and throw his ass right outta the window. About now crews on the floor laughing seeing my ***** dad go flyin head first. Hear him hit the dirt like a sack o sh1t so had a llook out the window and see him on the floor,, He aint moving so we throw some beer cans at his head n he starts crawling to the door moaning n sh1t.
Havent seen his ass since, ducked me at breakfast. B1tch had it coming, he wont try sh1t again. Im the man of ths house son.
Walk in, got every guys eyes on me, im infamous around here son. Get a table and order in some beers, on the house of course. Notice some guys across the room hollering about some sh1t so i walk over, turns out some local ***** is arm wrestling for cash, thinsk he hot sh1t, $10 a go. I lay down $1,000, and take a seat. Grip up and my arm damn near blocked out the sunlight, eclipsed his ass. I gave him a couple seconds to feel like a big man, highlight of his pathetic life, thinking hes got a chance with my strong assed self, next thing he knows SLAM bust his arm down, snapped his wrist in two, he starts screamin n sh1t, ruining my buzz so i knock him the **** out with a chair and order some more beers.
Me n the crew go back to my house, suppin some premium brew in my room, got some loud ass music on, next thing i know my dads banging at tht door, shouting some sh1t.Open the door and he starts gettin in my face about the music, telling me to shut the hell up. My ***** dad is aways trying sh1t with me tryin to look like a big man in front of my crew. Im about ready to knock him out, crews on my back telling me to wreck his skull so i grab him in a headlock and start running round the room. Crews hollering n sh1t seein his weak assed legs wiggling like a b1tch, hes whining like a ***** to let him go but i got his neck locked up in my polska grip and this b1tch aint going nowhere.
Swinging him around slammin his ass into walls n sh1t but hes still actin like a ****ing b1tch., wont shut the hell up so i think "**** this sh1t" and throw his ass right outta the window. About now crews on the floor laughing seeing my ***** dad go flyin head first. Hear him hit the dirt like a sack o sh1t so had a llook out the window and see him on the floor,, He aint moving so we throw some beer cans at his head n he starts crawling to the door moaning n sh1t.
Havent seen his ass since, ducked me at breakfast. B1tch had it coming, he wont try sh1t again. Im the man of ths house son.
Story #2
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So last night me n the crew r scanning the club, we run securtity on every door in town, ran the old pussies outta town, aint seem em since. had the usuial drunk assed preppy f@gs from the local college, simple choke hold, knee, punch and they are down then we throw them into a dumpster ion the alleyway, one night we puyt 8 guys in it at once, squashed em in like tuna in a can.
im working the door, crowds are lovin it, seeing me, im a damn celebrity oin this town, im like "chill the **** out" but these guys are shoving n **** trying to get a glipse of my strong assed self especially since im rockin a fine italian suit, really shows off my frame,m
Peoiple r texting each other n ****, soon musta been 1000 outside the club taking pictures begging to get in, guys start shoving some girlsz and the crews like "**** this" and jump in, start nailing people uypside the head, i break out the bats we keep behind the door, cracking skulls all over the ****ing place. women love this ****, im top dog and they cant get enough of me whoopin ass,, im givin them a glimpse of my strong ass face inbetween swings of the blood soaked bat, its like a damn photo shoot.
next thing i know some pussy draws a gun, little T makes a grab and gets hit, good thing the crew wear vests, i dont, i aint got time for that pussy ****, so i go for the guy with a "son, somebody about to get their **** messed up" look on my face i see a flash but dont feel **** since im jacked up with adrenaline, i tackle this guy and the crew goes to work on his skull while i kick his gun down a drain. crowds gone ****ing wild,
Crew locks down the club and calls a doc, girls r all over me crying n ****, im like "i aint got time to bleed" and sip some $1000 champage with a **** eating grin opn my face, when the docs turn up they couldnt believe their ****ing eyes, turns out my jacked up muscle fibras stopped that 9 in its tracks, like organic body armor or some ****, a normal pussied ass guy wouldnt hit the bricks and died, a bullet aint sah1t to 220lbs of coiuled up fibras, you dont gotta be a scientist to knopw that.
w2hen i say im built for this **** i mean it.
im working the door, crowds are lovin it, seeing me, im a damn celebrity oin this town, im like "chill the **** out" but these guys are shoving n **** trying to get a glipse of my strong assed self especially since im rockin a fine italian suit, really shows off my frame,m
Peoiple r texting each other n ****, soon musta been 1000 outside the club taking pictures begging to get in, guys start shoving some girlsz and the crews like "**** this" and jump in, start nailing people uypside the head, i break out the bats we keep behind the door, cracking skulls all over the ****ing place. women love this ****, im top dog and they cant get enough of me whoopin ass,, im givin them a glimpse of my strong ass face inbetween swings of the blood soaked bat, its like a damn photo shoot.
next thing i know some pussy draws a gun, little T makes a grab and gets hit, good thing the crew wear vests, i dont, i aint got time for that pussy ****, so i go for the guy with a "son, somebody about to get their **** messed up" look on my face i see a flash but dont feel **** since im jacked up with adrenaline, i tackle this guy and the crew goes to work on his skull while i kick his gun down a drain. crowds gone ****ing wild,
Crew locks down the club and calls a doc, girls r all over me crying n ****, im like "i aint got time to bleed" and sip some $1000 champage with a **** eating grin opn my face, when the docs turn up they couldnt believe their ****ing eyes, turns out my jacked up muscle fibras stopped that 9 in its tracks, like organic body armor or some ****, a normal pussied ass guy wouldnt hit the bricks and died, a bullet aint sah1t to 220lbs of coiuled up fibras, you dont gotta be a scientist to knopw that.
w2hen i say im built for this **** i mean it.
Story #3
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So im driving down the street toay and i see my old gym teacher walking past, he musta gained 60lbs, fat as **** now. Back in school he always thought he was hot **** cause he was in Vietnam , reckon he killed a couple Vietish guys with his bare hands, aint noone believed that b1tchs stories.
Remembered when i was in school, every gym class he was always talking **** about me infront of everyone else cause i totally out jacked his ass. Hed be giving a lecture about nutrition n ****, started telling the class people who take proteisn end up dying on a machine 20 years later and hes like "im all natural" n starts flexing his weak ass old man arms. Next day rumors going round school that im somekinda protein pussy, when your the most jacked teen in the city people think you must be chuging down all kinds of ****,
He got my ass suspended for two weeks too cause i turned up for class sore as **** one time from my 3hour jack session and hes like "get the hell up here" telling me to do some pussy exercise. I aint got time for that **** so i tell him to get someone else and hes all "big but weak, i thought so" so im like "id kick your ass son". Class is damn near off the scale rioting now, wanna see me wreck him on the mats.
He tells me to go for it, trying to stare me down thinks im gonna back down like a b1tch, so i step up and we start tusslin infront of the class, people r like "kick his ****ing ass" and cheering me on. I wasnt even breaking a sweat, hes puffing gonna have a damn heart attack or some ****. He tries his weak ass army moves on me but he aint never faced no 220lb vietish soldier before and he cant get me to the ground. Im like "come on old man" class is laughing their damn asses off n hes about to collapse so i grab holda his shirt and tossed his ass over my head onto the mat.
Hes laying on the floor, coughing his ass off, damnear knocked out n the class has gone ****ing insane, they were sick of his **** too. Theyre hollering and shouting when some gym assistant guy comes running in wanna know what the **** all the noise is about. Next thing im infront of the principle, gym teacher tells him i jumped him in class ni got my my ass suspended.
Crew found out and was like "hell no he craxy messing wit us,he wanna die?". That night they waited in the school carpark balaclavered up n beat his ass down with a bat when he came out. Put his ass in hospital for a month.
When i got back to shool we gotta new HB10 woman gym teacher fresh outta college, didnt see hisass again. Turned drunk or sum **** i heard.
Remembered when i was in school, every gym class he was always talking **** about me infront of everyone else cause i totally out jacked his ass. Hed be giving a lecture about nutrition n ****, started telling the class people who take proteisn end up dying on a machine 20 years later and hes like "im all natural" n starts flexing his weak ass old man arms. Next day rumors going round school that im somekinda protein pussy, when your the most jacked teen in the city people think you must be chuging down all kinds of ****,
He got my ass suspended for two weeks too cause i turned up for class sore as **** one time from my 3hour jack session and hes like "get the hell up here" telling me to do some pussy exercise. I aint got time for that **** so i tell him to get someone else and hes all "big but weak, i thought so" so im like "id kick your ass son". Class is damn near off the scale rioting now, wanna see me wreck him on the mats.
He tells me to go for it, trying to stare me down thinks im gonna back down like a b1tch, so i step up and we start tusslin infront of the class, people r like "kick his ****ing ass" and cheering me on. I wasnt even breaking a sweat, hes puffing gonna have a damn heart attack or some ****. He tries his weak ass army moves on me but he aint never faced no 220lb vietish soldier before and he cant get me to the ground. Im like "come on old man" class is laughing their damn asses off n hes about to collapse so i grab holda his shirt and tossed his ass over my head onto the mat.
Hes laying on the floor, coughing his ass off, damnear knocked out n the class has gone ****ing insane, they were sick of his **** too. Theyre hollering and shouting when some gym assistant guy comes running in wanna know what the **** all the noise is about. Next thing im infront of the principle, gym teacher tells him i jumped him in class ni got my my ass suspended.
Crew found out and was like "hell no he craxy messing wit us,he wanna die?". That night they waited in the school carpark balaclavered up n beat his ass down with a bat when he came out. Put his ass in hospital for a month.
When i got back to shool we gotta new HB10 woman gym teacher fresh outta college, didnt see hisass again. Turned drunk or sum **** i heard.
Story #4
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So last saturday morning im in the gym, tearing up the 200lb dumbells and the gym manager comes over and starts giving me **** about snapping sum bars squating n ****. Hes like "those bars werent built to handle that kinda weight" so i tell him "your face wasnt built to handle my 18's" so he backs off like a pussy and goes back to his desk.
Im half way into my 5 hourr routine, musta had about half a ton over my head when some guy in a cheap assed suit comes over. His glasses damn near cracked seeing me shifting some serious pounds. Im like "what the **** u want son?" and hes all sorry n **** for bustin in on my session. He tells me hes from some huge ass company, they heard about me, how im serious **** in the muscle world, they had to send someone down to check on this polish revolution.
Hes all ike "we want you to back our new supplment" so i throw down the weights and tell him "go find a protein pussy, im natural jacked" but hes all grinin n **** telling me their new blend is 100% prtoeins free, meant for professional athletes like me. Tells me hes got a quarter mil in his briefcase and a first class ticket to the labs to do some testing n ****, see if im on board.
Flew out to the lab thst night, some kind nasa ****, they got pictures of me all over the walls, studying my jacked frame, wanna know how my muscles work. Hook me up to sum machines, testing my strength, scene like right outta Rocky 4 except i aint no fake ass actor, .Went off the scale on every damn test, got f@gs in white coats running all over the place, alarms going off everywhere, musta blown the computers or sum ****, they aint built to calculate muscle this dense. One guys tries to xray my biceps, see how deep these diamond cuts go, problem is the pussy assed xrays cant pass through my fibras, turns out my body is like a piece of lead, theyaint never seen **** like this before,
ABout an hour later and they bring me some samples, got my face on the container, marketing knew my polska good looks will help shift a couple hundred million boxes of this ****. Comes in two flavors, vanilla and jack daniels. Im like "this **** work?" and the management starts laughing "hell, no, its just grounded up bones n ****, meant for pussys with weak ass genetics who cant grow muscles natural" Me n the directors hollering for a good 20 mins at the thought of those b1tches who buy this **** thinking they gonna get jacked. just a pay day to me though son.
Signed a couple hundred autographs for the directors n workers, got in a quick bicep workout then flew the **** home with another 2 mil.
Im half way into my 5 hourr routine, musta had about half a ton over my head when some guy in a cheap assed suit comes over. His glasses damn near cracked seeing me shifting some serious pounds. Im like "what the **** u want son?" and hes all sorry n **** for bustin in on my session. He tells me hes from some huge ass company, they heard about me, how im serious **** in the muscle world, they had to send someone down to check on this polish revolution.
Hes all ike "we want you to back our new supplment" so i throw down the weights and tell him "go find a protein pussy, im natural jacked" but hes all grinin n **** telling me their new blend is 100% prtoeins free, meant for professional athletes like me. Tells me hes got a quarter mil in his briefcase and a first class ticket to the labs to do some testing n ****, see if im on board.
Flew out to the lab thst night, some kind nasa ****, they got pictures of me all over the walls, studying my jacked frame, wanna know how my muscles work. Hook me up to sum machines, testing my strength, scene like right outta Rocky 4 except i aint no fake ass actor, .Went off the scale on every damn test, got f@gs in white coats running all over the place, alarms going off everywhere, musta blown the computers or sum ****, they aint built to calculate muscle this dense. One guys tries to xray my biceps, see how deep these diamond cuts go, problem is the pussy assed xrays cant pass through my fibras, turns out my body is like a piece of lead, theyaint never seen **** like this before,
ABout an hour later and they bring me some samples, got my face on the container, marketing knew my polska good looks will help shift a couple hundred million boxes of this ****. Comes in two flavors, vanilla and jack daniels. Im like "this **** work?" and the management starts laughing "hell, no, its just grounded up bones n ****, meant for pussys with weak ass genetics who cant grow muscles natural" Me n the directors hollering for a good 20 mins at the thought of those b1tches who buy this **** thinking they gonna get jacked. just a pay day to me though son.
Signed a couple hundred autographs for the directors n workers, got in a quick bicep workout then flew the **** home with another 2 mil.
Story #5
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Ever since my security company started running the doors in this town ive been depositing some serious **** into my bank account, the kinda money your b1tch assed dad makes in a year im shoving in the safe box twice a day. now the fbi is all over me, wanna know where the **** i got the cash from.
starst out im working out this morning, up at 5am for a serious hard ass workout , the 10 i picked up last night is keeping the bed warm but i aint got time for that, gotta get jacked. Got the whole strongman set up., some 20ft stone pillars for lifting n ****, must weigh a coupe tons, 500lb rocks, couple of cars racked up to a bar for some vein bustin deadlifting, the kinda **** that builds giants like me.
Was curling some serious ****, biceps burning like a corpse when i heard a bang down stairs. turns out it was a raid by the ****ing fbi. Couple of guys burst in the room, i bust one upside the head with a 100lb dumbell, i threw the other guy out the damn window, heard him hit the ground like a sack o ****.
Room fills up with pussies in bodyarmour, im throwing 50lbs plates, knocking guys out all over the place, bodyarmour aint **** to a 50lb plate thrown by a couple of 18's. Musta been 50 guys in the room, gettinhit by batons, tazers n ****, got a half a gallon of pepper spray in my eyes, still crackin skulls. Eventually hese b1tches jump me and cuff me up, had to use 3 pairs of cuffs to keep my strong assed arms under control othrwise id have torn **** up.
Took me in and tried to gril me for 4 hrs , didnt even crack a bead of sweat, i should be working for Polish secret service, cant get **** outta me, im sat with a grin the whole time knowin my dads lawyer is on his way. For $1000/hr you know im getting the **** outta there within 5 minutes.
Now im here suppin some fine ass scotch knowing those fbi b1tches must be slitting their damn throats, so close to putting the ****ing kig of this town behind bars but couldnt finish the job.
starst out im working out this morning, up at 5am for a serious hard ass workout , the 10 i picked up last night is keeping the bed warm but i aint got time for that, gotta get jacked. Got the whole strongman set up., some 20ft stone pillars for lifting n ****, must weigh a coupe tons, 500lb rocks, couple of cars racked up to a bar for some vein bustin deadlifting, the kinda **** that builds giants like me.
Was curling some serious ****, biceps burning like a corpse when i heard a bang down stairs. turns out it was a raid by the ****ing fbi. Couple of guys burst in the room, i bust one upside the head with a 100lb dumbell, i threw the other guy out the damn window, heard him hit the ground like a sack o ****.
Room fills up with pussies in bodyarmour, im throwing 50lbs plates, knocking guys out all over the place, bodyarmour aint **** to a 50lb plate thrown by a couple of 18's. Musta been 50 guys in the room, gettinhit by batons, tazers n ****, got a half a gallon of pepper spray in my eyes, still crackin skulls. Eventually hese b1tches jump me and cuff me up, had to use 3 pairs of cuffs to keep my strong assed arms under control othrwise id have torn **** up.
Took me in and tried to gril me for 4 hrs , didnt even crack a bead of sweat, i should be working for Polish secret service, cant get **** outta me, im sat with a grin the whole time knowin my dads lawyer is on his way. For $1000/hr you know im getting the **** outta there within 5 minutes.
Now im here suppin some fine ass scotch knowing those fbi b1tches must be slitting their damn throats, so close to putting the ****ing kig of this town behind bars but couldnt finish the job.
