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Active: 1196 users

I hate clubs - Page 2

Blogs > SpicyCrab
Post a Reply
Prev 1 2 3 4 5 Next All
niteReloaded
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Croatia5282 Posts
December 10 2010 19:44 GMT
#21
Interesting post.
ProTech_MediC
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States498 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-10 19:46:01
December 10 2010 19:45 GMT
#22
1. Who drives to a club?
2. You don't have to be single to enjoy dancing.
3. You don't have to be single to enjoy drinking in a social environment.
4. What kind of guy buys an asian pear drink? A simple beer would have cost less and had more effect.
5. I'm fairly certain that none of the encounters with females that you described actually happened.
6. The strange, animalistic, "mating ritual" you describe is actually pretty simple. Even morons have been successful at it for millions of years. You somehow managed to fail in one of the most accessible places.
MC Fighting!~
N3rV[Green]
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States1935 Posts
December 10 2010 19:48 GMT
#23
Really people like us just need to NEVER even look at places like those....fucking clubs. Such a worthless way to live...

God damnit alcohol is the worst shit on the planet >.<

Why doesn't everybody just chill out and smoke a bowl with some buds OUTSIDE. Thats where the real shit happens folks.
Never fear the darkness, Bran. The strongest trees are rooted in the dark places of the earth. Darkness will be your cloak, your shield, your mother's milk. Darkness will make you strong.
jlim
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Spain943 Posts
December 10 2010 19:53 GMT
#24
Fuck clubs.

They are an attempt on human intelligence. For many reasons. And this comes from my empirical knowledge, not based on stereotypes.
SpicyCrab
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
402 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-10 20:01:44
December 10 2010 19:53 GMT
#25
On December 11 2010 04:45 ProTech_MediC wrote:
5. I'm fairly certain that none of the encounters with females that you described actually happened.


No, it happened.

(p.s why would I lie about such an awkward and unsuccessful encounter?)

As for your other comments... eh...

I'm such a baller in my dreams. - HiFriend
WhiZ
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Sweden853 Posts
December 10 2010 19:54 GMT
#26
ur doing it wrong

User was warned for this post
why
Dance.
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States389 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-10 19:57:13
December 10 2010 19:56 GMT
#27
I then showed her my trademark dance, which I call "The Carlton"


How did that not get you laid???

You must have been doing it wrong.
It is what it is...
zulu_nation8
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
China26351 Posts
December 10 2010 20:01 GMT
#28
good read
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
December 10 2010 20:02 GMT
#29
1- Never attempt to leave before 11:30.
2- Drink beforehand
3- ... ahhahahahaa gj son!
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
SpicyCrab
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
402 Posts
December 10 2010 20:03 GMT
#30
Hey thanks for all the nice comments guys! I am glad many of you guys found this entertaining as that was the idea.

Oh, and yes, I did see my DJ friend play. He was very good, I think. I am perhaps not the best judge of effectiveness in this instance.
I'm such a baller in my dreams. - HiFriend
Titusmaster6
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5937 Posts
December 10 2010 20:06 GMT
#31
Rofl that was such a true story. I know this happens sometimes, but hey there are good times too. I'm sure you already know, but bring friends and pre-game next time.

Hilarious description of grinding btw haha.
Shorts down shorts up, BOOM, just like that.
BasedSwag
Profile Joined April 2010
Algeria418 Posts
December 10 2010 20:08 GMT
#32
This reads like you're trying too hard to be funny, it also makes it seem like your story is fiction.
Pulimuli
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Sweden2766 Posts
December 10 2010 20:12 GMT
#33
On December 11 2010 04:08 SpicyCrab wrote:

A fucking drink costs $12.00. Yes, I know that it's a very exotic "asian pear drink" but that's stupid. Only an idiot or a millionaire would pay $12.00 for a drink. I bought three.




$12 isnt that expensive for a drink out in a club or a bar (sure its way more expensive then making it at home) but thats reality. $12 for a drink is actually pretty cheap where i live
-Frog-
Profile Joined February 2009
United States514 Posts
December 10 2010 20:19 GMT
#34
On December 11 2010 05:12 Pulimuli wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 11 2010 04:08 SpicyCrab wrote:

A fucking drink costs $12.00. Yes, I know that it's a very exotic "asian pear drink" but that's stupid. Only an idiot or a millionaire would pay $12.00 for a drink. I bought three.




$12 isnt that expensive for a drink out in a club or a bar (sure its way more expensive then making it at home) but thats reality. $12 for a drink is actually pretty cheap where i live


What kind of drinks are you buying? A beer shouldn't cost more than $5 and some girly fruit drink shouldn't be more than $10.

If $12 is cheap (not even average) then you sir are balling it up indeed.
powered by coffee, driven by hate.
BasedSwag
Profile Joined April 2010
Algeria418 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-10 20:21:37
December 10 2010 20:20 GMT
#35
On December 11 2010 05:19 -Frog- wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 11 2010 05:12 Pulimuli wrote:
On December 11 2010 04:08 SpicyCrab wrote:

A fucking drink costs $12.00. Yes, I know that it's a very exotic "asian pear drink" but that's stupid. Only an idiot or a millionaire would pay $12.00 for a drink. I bought three.




$12 isnt that expensive for a drink out in a club or a bar (sure its way more expensive then making it at home) but thats reality. $12 for a drink is actually pretty cheap where i live


What kind of drinks are you buying? A beer shouldn't cost more than $5 and some girly fruit drink shouldn't be more than $10.

If $12 is cheap (not even average) then you sir are balling it up indeed.


He's from Sweden (supposedly) so he's probably just converting from SEK to USD, and since the dollar is incredibly weak right now $12 is not a lot comparatively...

Just a guess.
StorkHwaiting
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States3465 Posts
December 10 2010 20:21 GMT
#36
Hilarious blog post and really charming writing style. Love it.
Metalwing
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Turkey1038 Posts
December 10 2010 20:29 GMT
#37
Last saturday, I actually did the opposite of what you did.

- I didn't drive to the club
- I didn't buy drinks (yeah, i fucking didn't)
- I didn't do carlton dance, instead i tried to keep up with the best dancer i knew and i was pretty much ok.
- I didn't buy into a fight (We were ~10 people including girls and that makes 5 men and one of us was my capoeira instructor. A fight wouldn't end too badly for me).
- ???

It was a good saturday night. I wrote how it ended to one-line confessions thread.
#1 CheckPrime fan // Terrans gonna Terran
Dont Panic
Profile Joined October 2010
United States194 Posts
December 10 2010 20:31 GMT
#38
ill summarize for you since you seemed to still be under the effects of alcohol.
Awkward male enters the club early, unprepared, and alone.
Ironically notices a 45 year old who is out of place.
Calls the expensive girly drinks stupid and then proceeds to buy 3.
By some miracle he gets checked out by 2 potential mates.
Completely fails the mating ritual causing prospective females to give up on men and try lesbian sex insead.
Pulls an IdrA and calls clubbing stupid and leaves in order to prevent admitting one's own faults.

You missed out man, Two taxidermists would have made from some very freaky sex!
I am order. I am logic. I know exactly who I am.
Hittegods
Profile Joined April 2007
Stockholm4641 Posts
December 10 2010 20:33 GMT
#39
On December 11 2010 05:20 BasedSwag wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 11 2010 05:19 -Frog- wrote:
On December 11 2010 05:12 Pulimuli wrote:
On December 11 2010 04:08 SpicyCrab wrote:

A fucking drink costs $12.00. Yes, I know that it's a very exotic "asian pear drink" but that's stupid. Only an idiot or a millionaire would pay $12.00 for a drink. I bought three.




$12 isnt that expensive for a drink out in a club or a bar (sure its way more expensive then making it at home) but thats reality. $12 for a drink is actually pretty cheap where i live


What kind of drinks are you buying? A beer shouldn't cost more than $5 and some girly fruit drink shouldn't be more than $10.

If $12 is cheap (not even average) then you sir are balling it up indeed.


He's from Sweden (supposedly) so he's probably just converting from SEK to USD, and since the dollar is incredibly weak right now $12 is not a lot comparatively...

Just a guess.

Oh, it's not because of the exchange rate, it's just that we have like 500% taxes on hard liquor in Sweden. A sad and true story.
This neo violence, pure self defiance
SpicyCrab
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
402 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-10 21:08:43
December 10 2010 20:37 GMT
#40
Just to be clear every one; I am very much aware that it is my fault I can't enjoy a club.

this was intended to be a silly story written from my perspective. Obviously I am not the intended clientele for this kind of thing.

Love people trying to insult me for being an awkward dork in a story which is basically about how I am an awkward dork.

Also: Every thing in here is 100% true; there isn't any thing in here that should even be hard to believe. Honestly.
I'm such a baller in my dreams. - HiFriend
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