EPT
Adultery
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Pineapple
New Zealand126 Posts
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OutlaW-
Czech Republic5053 Posts
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9934 Posts
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Jaw
United States274 Posts
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LastWish
2013 Posts
It's natural to a significant percentage of human beings. Finding the victims isn't usually helping, trying to work it out for the future is the only choice. | ||
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storm44
1293 Posts
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Emon_
3925 Posts
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NIIINO
Slovakia1320 Posts
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Quasimoto3000
United States471 Posts
Its important that you take care of your mother and make sure she knows shes better off this way. | ||
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OMin
United States545 Posts
 but yeah, just be there as much as you can for your mom... ur pretty much her only immediate family since ur dads out of the picture now best of luck man, really sorry to hear it | ||
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TossFloss
Canada606 Posts
How did you find out? In fact, this happens all the time. I met a lot of married guys in China, and with a few exceptions, many were cheating on their wives. Foreigners enjoy wealth, status and power they seldom experience at home. It can be quite intoxicating. | ||
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Navi
5286 Posts
as for your father, don't resort to physical violence, just show him how disappointed you are. to people with any sense of remorse or empathy this will tear them apart / make them realize their wrong more than any physical violence ever will (especially as beating the shit out of him could simply make him feel more indignant and self justified) | ||
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Karliath
United States2214 Posts
On October 24 2010 17:22 jaw wrote: why isnt the dad in the motel? kick his ass out. qft | ||
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endy
Switzerland8970 Posts
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
One thing I've heard a lot of times is how negative influence from parents affect their children. I think it's common news that wife abusers are sons of wife abusers. I'm not saying you're going to become one, but unless you handle yourself well both physically and emotionally, you could come out of this as a completely changed person. Actually, it's obvious that you've already changed due to the incident, but it doesn't mean you have to change into a bad person because of this. I think the best thing is to keep social contact going (but not excessively). Being isolated from the society, especially after a tragedy, can easily lead to depression and other serious issues. I don't know if support groups are the right sort of things, but I imagine that being alone is the worst thing possible in this situation. After things settle a bit, I think you and your mother should pursue legal actions (at least getting a proper divorce would help?) to clean this mess up. Apologies if I made things sound easy or something, that was never my intention. Just trying to list out what's probably best for you and your mother from my point of view. Best of luck. | ||
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Catch]22
Sweden2683 Posts
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Forgottenfrog
United States1268 Posts
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enzym
Germany1034 Posts
i dont know if it will be of use for you, but changing my view on relationships has helped me handle things. the concept of relationship requires you to know who people are, but your father serves as example to show that you can never be sure and thus relationship is not a practical concept. it lacks accuracy. try to not give special treatment by the type of relationship assumed to be there, not even for family, who are genetically related but not necessarily on other levels. people are people, all the same. they enter your field of vision and you will learn who they are by observing them. you will decide whether enough is to gain by interacting with them or not. you continue to learn who they are and continue to ask yourself that question. if information changes and someone stops fitting your criteria, you drop interaction with them. its pick and choose, only that you cant pick the good ones, only the good ones up to that point. so you must pick the bad ones and then put them away. "Many men and many women enjoy popular esteem, not because they are known, but because they are not." "Sometimes apparent resemblance of character will bring two men together and for a certain time unite them. But their mistake gradually becomes evident, and they are astonished to find themselves not only far apart, but even repelled, in some sort, at all their points of contact." — Nicolas de Chamfort | ||
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On October 24 2010 19:44 Catch]22 wrote: I'll be as gentle as I can in saying this, but men dont cheat on their wives if everything is alright. Him cheating isnt whats bad, its only a symptom. Dude, maybe that is applicable if it was one woman in the same country, maybe, but this is THREE other women and ten years and in a different continent. Try to be more sensitive to the situation then applying a single understanding for a specific context, while you're trying to help, the first thing off the top of your head isn't that helpful. And to Pineapple, if your dad has multiple families etc, just first make it clear what he needs to support to your mom and you first as I'm sure that hasn't changed, then deal with the emotional side afterwards, cause that will take a lot of time; a lot of the investors I know in Asia, really rich guys have multiple wives, they are all Taiwanese or Chinese mainland, but the thing is, their wives all know each other, like 1st, 2nd, 3rd wife, etc. Now as Korean, I don't quite understand that all, although among the rich here, we have the wife and mistress culture here, but in any case, you're mom just found out, you need to be level headed and just talk to your dad, man to man and put away your judgement for a moment, make sure your mom is going to still be well taken care of by your dad; if he supporting 4 families or relationships, then he has some cash. It ain't going to be solved overnight, but just take it day by day and just make sure the practical things are taken care of first, for this moment, you are the man and you just need to take care of it for your mom's sake first. Cheers and good luck and be strong. | ||
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SaYyId
Portugal277 Posts
it sounds stupid but i've seen people sueing each other for less, WAY less | ||
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