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Blogs > Tozar
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Tozar
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
United States245 Posts
September 10 2010 03:56 GMT
#1
I've made a name for myself in this little universe called Teamliquid. I've climbed the ladder in Starcraft 2 and became one of the best. My little 5 character alias was printed in light blue Arial letters somewhere in the midst of a long list of names on Blizzard's website for all to see. My name has been tossed around in the forums giving me credit for the "innovative" strategies I've devised. People even occasionally asked me for lessons, looked to me for approval, and praised my talents as a Starcraft 2 player. And at what cost?

When I was in elementary school (2000~) my family and I went on a trip. We were allowed to rent one game. Despite my wishes Starcaft 64 was chosen over Iggy's Wrecking Balls, yet I quickly became captivated with the game. I wish this never happened. My brother purchased the PC version soon afterwards and I would spend every minute of free time I could squeeze in to play this game. I refused to do anything extracurricular I was not required to do. I spent my days in a chair in front of a computer playing this game I could not get out of my head. In 2006, I had enough. I broke the disc in half and didn't play again, until a patch came out that allowed the game to be played without a disc. Out of curiosity, I downloaded the game and checked back into Battle.net to see how my friends were doing. I began to play again, but with more self-control.

Then Starcraft 2 was announced. I stayed up all night waiting for the announcement taking place in South Korea. It was exciting, I had no reservations about playing the new version of my all-time favorite game. I weaseled my way into getting beta keys and getting a head start. I began streaming so I could share my love for the game with others and posted my strategies on Teamliquid so others could learn from my experience. And when Starcraft 2 finally released, I was at Gamestop at midnight to receive my copy despite already having one on the way in the mail. I've played nearly every day up until yesterday and accumulated over 800 Starcraft 2 games in addition to my thousands from the original.

I quit. And, hell, it's about time.

Every night I've ever gone to bed after 3:30 AM I've felt like I've wasted the night away. People ask me how my weekend was and I couldn't tell them without feeling shame. When I sleep half the day away, or miss class, or neglect important errands and responsibilities that people have entrusted to me, I know the real reason behind it. I've never wanted to admit it before, but the reason is video games. All video games. They've consumed my time, my attention, my mind, and my life.

I am ashamed of being a gamer. There are few less productive and beneficial activities in life than sitting around playing video games. Yes they are fun, some are even slightly educational, but mostly just fun. What is fun worth though? Some people live for fun, and some people have fun living. We could debate about this for hours, but the case I'm making here is that gaming for the sake of having fun or entertaining myself for hours on end is not my chief goal in life. I have a purpose, and playing video games is not getting me any closer to my goals. They merely distract me from what is worthwhile.

When I said "I quit". I did not mean just Starcraft 2. I meant all video games in general. I will be refusing to play video games for at least 3 months or until I feel I have enough self control to exercise such freedoms. By telling my friends, my family, and you, I will have no other choice than to go through with it (this has worked for me in the past, I'm confident I can keep this up).

I've written this for anyone else who feels that they have an addiction to this game or to anything else. This is for those who don't want to admit to themselves that they would be better off without games, but know deep down that it is true. If I can help keep others accountable as they make life changing decisions to stop living in fantasy worlds, then maybe my time spent in the Starcraft universe will be worth it. Since the community of Teamliquid was kind to me, I will stick around a couple more days answering PMs, but if it's about strategy, I don't want to hear it. I am finished with this game, and all games, for quite some time.

Thanks for hearing me out, peace.
- Jeremy (formerly known as Tozar)

**
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24701 Posts
September 10 2010 04:03 GMT
#2
Was gonna say you are oversimplifying this and need to try to approach games differently... but it seems like that's what you really mean by 'quit' and are just choosing to do it with a break. After the break if you aren't satisfied you can just prolong it indefinitely.... not sure if that's how I would go about it but it seems reasonable.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
qzmpwxno
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Papua New Guinea152 Posts
September 10 2010 04:04 GMT
#3
Stay Strong, Brother!!!
Stand on one block but own the whole street~
Mickey
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United States2606 Posts
September 10 2010 04:05 GMT
#4
I wish you the best of luck!
bertolo
Profile Joined June 2010
United States133 Posts
September 10 2010 04:06 GMT
#5
Wow, good luck.

I can understand where you are coming from, but everything needs to be taken in moderation, including video games. That seems to be exactly what you are trying to do and I think once you realize you don't have to spend as much time playing to have fun you will appreciate video games again.
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9104 Posts
September 10 2010 04:07 GMT
#6
good luck tozar
Skyze
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada2324 Posts
September 10 2010 04:07 GMT
#7
Feeling the same way bud, and I did quit for at least a month in beta, partly out of my anger with BNet 2 (no chat, cross-realm, clan system, etc) and partly due to what you said, it feels like a waste of life..

I still wish I had the strength to stick with it, but its hard.

My motivation right now as a competitive gamer is very low, so I play for fun and just see how I far I can go, knowing full well to not get to the point where I feel obligated to play more.

Its a cruel mistress, but I figure despite it being a huge waste of time, its also somewhat fun and enjoyable, especially when you are not worrying over every single ladder point lost by this bullshit BNet 2 system (I was a plat bug victim, which also really lowered my desire to ladder).. so now I mostly watch VODs, and just play once a week or so, and so far I am enjoying this much more, its more like what gaming is suppose to be; a break from the stress of real life.

So, good luck going cold turkey, and if you can do it thats great (I sure as hell couldnt), but I dont think afew hours a week is that bad as long as you prioritize your life. Music is #1 for me, and everything else is secondary.
Canada Gaming ~~ The-Feared
Cofo
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States1388 Posts
September 10 2010 04:13 GMT
#8
Damn Tozar, sorry to hear that.

I honestly believe that it's possible to lead a completely normal life and fully enjoy games while still having them take the backseat. I'm not saying you're wrong; I've seen people in your position before and It's good to do what you're doing if you feel like something's wrong. I just hope that you aren't prematurely shutting games out for the wrong reasons.

I go to all my classes, do all my work, go out with friends every weekend, and do extracurriculars, and still manage to play games. It's just something I do when I have an hour or two of free time after I've done everything else. Playing less probably actually keeps it fresh. Your case sounds a bit like you're just straight up burnt out.

My opinions aside though, taking a step back for a while to re-evaluate can never be a bad thing. So whether you come back some time down the road, or never touch a game again, just make sure you're happy doing it, because that's what matters most. Best of luck.
+ Show Spoiler +
deathgod6
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States5064 Posts
September 10 2010 04:20 GMT
#9
I definitely feel you and understand myself what it's like in your view. Good luck with your goals and school!
4.0 GPA = A rank 5.0 GPA = Olympic --------- Bisu, Best, Fantasy. i ♥ oov. They can get in my BoxeR anyday.
ella_guru
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada1741 Posts
September 10 2010 04:23 GMT
#10
Just dont play for more than an hour ever, EZ PZ . Like, seriously. Exercise some self control.

Either way, you are doing the better thing by cutting it out completely.
Each day gets better : )
Exteray
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States1094 Posts
September 10 2010 04:32 GMT
#11
What a great post... I'm very inspired. I won't quit though, but I think i'll play very sparingly. School is starting very soon for me and if I play as much SC2 as I do now, I'll fail at life.

I think I'm gonna homepage this article.
ella_guru
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada1741 Posts
September 10 2010 04:33 GMT
#12
HOYL FUCK!

I missed the part when you mentioned iggy's wreckin balls. I played that game for hours and hours and would use "fake sick" days in elementary school for it.
Each day gets better : )
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
September 10 2010 04:42 GMT
#13
I'm currently in the same cycle as well, having no work for a year and a half, then just making money out of a small franchise is cutting out for me. So I'm not playing starcraft for more than 2 hours, I'll still be the same player except with a different perspective.

Man, being addicted to any game is really brutal. Good thing the people around me are pretty understanding (GF, father and some other relatives as well). I really need to straighten my shit out. If I'm IdrA or Morrow or any top players that do this for a living hell that is awesome. But I'm some average noob in this starcraft 2 universe.
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
Hidden_MotiveS
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada2562 Posts
September 10 2010 05:01 GMT
#14
I've made a name for myself in this little universe called Teamliquid.

Who are you again? Lol jk.


I am ashamed of being a gamer. There are few less productive and beneficial activities in life than sitting around playing video games.

This is the viewpoint I used to have. I thought that gaming was more fun than hanging out with people, that there was nothing wrong with it. Whether it is is up to debate. But I have more respect for myself when I am not addicted to any games.


I had some troubles with BW because they introduced the no CD-patch too (I broke my disk as well). And it interfered with school to much the same degree as for you.
I quit sc when sc2 came out. I didn't buy the game.


I've written this for anyone else who feels that they have an addiction to this game or to anything else. This is for those who don't want to admit to themselves that they would be better off without games, but know deep down that it is true. If I can help keep others accountable as they make life changing decisions to stop living in fantasy worlds, then maybe my time spent in the Starcraft universe will be worth it. Since the community of Teamliquid was kind to me, I will stick around a couple more days answering PMs, but if it's about strategy, I don't want to hear it. I am finished with this game, and all games, for quite some time.

Thank you. That was really nice.


I hope you succeed at your goals. Don't play any games of SC, not even against friends until you're good to go.

TL does remind me of the game now but not enough to play it online. It can be a time waster though lol.
AcrossFiveJulys
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
United States3612 Posts
September 10 2010 05:06 GMT
#15
i definitely feel pretty addicted to sc2, partly because both me and my friends are getting to the top of the ladder. but im going to start getting busy in school to the point where i simply don't have time to commit to getting better anymore, at which point i'll stop playing entirely naturally. at least I think.
meeple
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada10211 Posts
September 10 2010 05:07 GMT
#16
Good luck... one of my friends wasted a year at uni by getting addicted to Smash Bros... hopefully you can do it
Entertaining
Profile Joined September 2007
Canada793 Posts
September 10 2010 05:13 GMT
#17
Ive tried quitting but being a nerd for so long i find nothing else interesting. the whole life thing i find overrated and the internet just overflows with constant stimulation. i dont even watch tv anymore due to comericials and bad shows, better off just watching w/e i want on the internet, i can even watch movies that arnt even out yet.. maybe this is why people go drinking? nothing else to do
Happy.fairytail
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States327 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-10 06:01:09
September 10 2010 05:58 GMT
#18
Best of luck to you, bro. If you're anything like me, then it's for the best that you quit indefinitely. As should I (before I lose my job lol). For what it's worth I think you're doing the right thing. Man, when you're an addict, there's no such thing as self-control, and that's a fact. You know yourself best man, do what you gotta do. Gl hf
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