Any girls in the passed who I decided to like, and seemingly failed, well I am not sorry for being too nice, I won't ever be a fake guy who act's mean just to impress a girl. A girl who knows better will see right through that, and take any man with a strong heart and the means to fall in love with her.
Truth is, yeah, I show all of my emotions as fast as I can, truth is yeah most girls get turned off by that, or scared, truth is I have no clue why. Because I am a strong thinker and philosophical person who expands his knowledge by discussing the way life is as we know it, the universe, the people, its governments the wars, what could be, and what should be, and what won't be. I am one smart fucker. Knowledge is power and I have plenty of it.
One thing I am sorry about, is that you are too afraid to accept this side of yourself and share it with others as we should so proudly do. We have amazing minds, and we let it go to waste on trickery and treacherous lies that societies leaders try to feed us. You ask me what the meaning to life is, and I've thought about this since I was a toddler, I am starting to conclude that its not actually a meaning, but instead what is our purpose as people.
Animals mate, produce, and just do what they do. People. We have been stripped of that freedom. We are forced into survival of the fittest by means of how much or how little does he/she have. We are forced into believing that certain clothing is better than the next, but guess what look at your tags next time, tell me the materials on a Giant Tiger T-Shirt, and then on a expensive name bran T-Shirt. Yeah I know they are made from the same material yet, for some strange reason one might make you feel better.
What is truly a nice look? The only things you can truthfully say look good, are things given to us by mother nature or god. For everything else we were, and always will be lied to about what looks good and what doesn't. Women, Men, Tree's, the Sky, Sunsets, Stars, Fields, Rivers, Waterfalls, over one million different things, ranging from bugs to animals, to people and nature. Those are the true beauties in life. Here's an easier way for you simple minded yet lovely folk to understand what I am trying to say. In Asia, they eat some of the weirdest fucking things I think. To them its good, tastes great, and is usually super damn healthy, but try to feed that to me. Yeah right! Get my point now?
What I have somewhat succeeded on doing, is training myself to realize what is really good, and what is really beauty. But with all these lies hitting me in the face, whether it be on the bus, or on tv, or in movies, or in any way shape or form of media, advertisements, I am having so much of a hard time. I love big chicks, I love petite chicks, because deep down I know what beauty really is, and I conciously choose not to fall victim to tv. Sadly though, I am a victim in the way I see my own body, I am 140LBS, and I am about 5 feet 11 inches tall. Everytime I look into the mirror I wish I had a more muscular look, and you know what I wasn't the only one, alot of those guys were in my shoes, but they did it and now what they feel better.
Next point, so why am I not allowed to say that life is nothing if your not in love. People tell me, oh you can't say that, you can't expect a girl to bring you happiness you have to be happy yourself. Some people want to shoot your dreams down, because they are afraid of its truth, heres the deal, if what you have in mind has to do with a 100% natural order of things, then fuck yeah all the power to you. I mean a girl who goes out and parties, and says oh yeah I love that. Why can't I love a woman? Why can't I base my whole life around finding a girl for me to fall madly in love with. Why aren't I allowed? Wrong questions. What I should be saying is. Who put these ideas into our heads, I know whats best for me, and if I say its falling in love that will make me happy enough to cope with life, then thats what I am. You like to party hardy, I like to think of that special someone.
I end this with a thank you for your time, and best of luck in your future endeavors. I hope you find true happiness in the years to come, I hope you realize the truth behind what is really best for a person, yourself. Take care, and I love you very much who ever you are, not as a stranger but as a fellow human being. Good bye for now, and I can't wait to see you again.
P.S. If you think this is just crazy, I hope you find the truth behind those closed eyes, so that it can open the millions of doors to come.