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Warning wall of text Edited to not look like a 14 year old girl blog
Introduction:
Our lives are mechanical. Given a basis that we are extremely evolved animals and are made of molecules and atoms, everything happens for a reason. With a given set of genes and one environment, with the environment being what we encounter as children, how we interpret our surroundings and make it a part of our personality will always act in a certain way. We will always act on the basis that we have within and will make the same choices in the same situation. Therefore will we mechanically go through with our lives in a certain order because of the causality that lies in our already taught reaction based on what we encounter in our lives and what we make of it. This a pretty vague description of the whole thing, but given that there is no spirituality, this is what I believe is what is happening.
We are given genetically a basis which we use to manage the environment and situations we encounter and our actions are a causality of this. For example if a child was born in the woods and somehow learned to survive it will be a very different person than in a good home or in a bad home. I believe we are sophisticated animals who learn who to behave based on our experience. And that our genes give us a different basis to interpret that. An intellectual person can have very different interpretations of a situation than a less intellectual one.
That being said my blog is not about the philosophy I now have given you, but more of the ramifications of it. If you want to discuss this I am more than happy to, but it is not my focus for this blog.
No I am more thinking of the implications of this belief I have. Before today I haven't really given it more much thought of how I can apply this and use it to my advantage.
Having taking psychology at the university I knew about different ways of teaching. How dogs can see a man in a lab coat and their bodies will unconsciously start to behave as if the are getting food. even though they have not seen he food or smelt it. It is just because usually when the man in the lab coat arrives he thinks he is getting food. Or that give a lab rat an electric shock if he walks on red tiles will learn to not walk on them, or will be encouraged to walk on green ones by being given food when walking on them. But never thought to myself how can I use this to my advantage. How can I imply these rules to my own way of thinking and change my own behavior. Seeing that I see myself as a greatly evolved and sophisticated animal, but still an animal would also apply to these rules of learning.
In retrospect I have done this many times to myself not knowing about it. I was addicted to something called snus, which is a Scandinavian tobacco that you put under your lip http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snus for seven years from I was 14. This is a somewhat nasty habit but I enjoyed it. Then after a couple over years of using it and going a little overboard and using a lot every time, my mouth started to get torn down. My gums started to bleed pretty hard one day, so I got a bit rattled and decided to quit. And since then I always am reminded of my bleeding gums and decaying mouth when I think about it. I reality i taught myself that snus is associated with these symptoms.
Another example is when I was young I had not been drinking that much not like other kids my age. So when I first tried I shoot a lot of what we back home call Turkish pepper which is pretty strong for a 14 year old kid. I got sick as hell and even today (i am 23) have trouble even tasting a little sip of it. And every time I try it I get nauseated and generally a bad experience. I have a bad feeling associated with the Turkish pepper shot.
An example more of you may relate more to is depression. You may notice that if you are in that mindset of feeling down it can be hard to get out of it. That is because of the spiral your mind creates, bad thoughts produces negative associations, it teaches you to go into a state of mind where you will not release the chemicals that make you happy. The mind will control the chemicals so that you stay depressed. You can make the worst out of everything even though you are living a very good life, with lots of friends and a good family and a good job. Your thoughts control your feelings.
On the other side everyone knows someone that is always happy and always see the bright side no matter how bad it looks. People who have been through hell and back and still smiles and finds the positives in everything around them. they have taught themselves to be happy, they get their happy chemicals released all the time. This just because of their way of thinking and the way they react to things. They have taught themselves to be positive beings and therefore they are.
Starting up:How to use this knowledge to my advantage?
(This is the NSFW part, if mods find it too vulgar PM me and I will fill in one of my other projects.)
I have since I was in my early teens had an abnormal fascination with sex. Not in any weird sickening perverted way, but a general interest exceeding normal teens. I read all the articles I could find about sex, how to please a women how to make sex last longer and what women like in bed and so on. So normal literature like stuff in men and women magazines and such. And like a lot of teenage boys I got fascinated with porn. Watched a lot. Not disturbingly much but maybe a little more than the Average Joe. So of course I got a little twisted view on sex. With all the literature I read I knew a lot of it was not as it seems in porn, but still this was my turn on and outlet for sexual needs, jerking of to porn. This lead to, with the evolvement of porn the last years of becoming more and more extreme, to a fetish for analsex.
Seeing this in porn as the ultimate ending and pleasure to a regular fuck I naturally got this fetish rolling. Now after a couple of years watching porn I began to become sexually active at around 15 and after a while got to have analsex with this slut I was exploring with. It was only a couple of times but it made my fetish even stronger.
So now I craved it even more, maybe even more than regular sex. This fetish has been with me for a long time and has now grown to the extent that I dont watch porn without anal scenes. It becomes boring. But that is about to change.
Some of you maybe saying "So what if you have an anal fetish lots of people do, there is no problem, just roll with it" The thing is that I am now in a relationship with a girl that I truly and deeply love. And she won't do it, she sees it as demeaning and slutty thing to do. I have thought: "Naw she'll come around and maybe I should try this and that in bed to convince her into trying it". But the thing is why should I want her to do something she loathes and finds demeaning just because I have a weird unnatural fetish? Why don't I just get rid of this truth be told sick fetish of mine?
From now on I will begin to watch anal porn in disgust, try to trigger even the word to being an unnatural abomination of the porn industry's search of extreme and new ways of turning on an easily bored porn audience.
I am now going to watch it and think of things that disgust me and make that feeling a trigger in me when I think of anal sex. I will squeeze my dick head when thinking about it and make that an association of what analsex is.
I will get rid of this fetish by teaching myself that this is negative, like a rat on a red tile I will make it disgusting and hurtful even to think about it.
This week I will get rid of my bad habit, next week I may be reinforcing a good habit or something I want as a good habit.
Future projects:
- Smoking when drunk
- Nervous about driving
- Discipline when training and nutrition
- Make mindless TV-watching boring so i don't waste so much time watching
- Becoming a better listener
- Read more books
- Become a better writer
I am writing this here as I have seen that there is a lot of intellectuals here and I would very much appreciate feedback, good or bad, as long as it is a little thought true.
Will post results and future projects. Thought anal fetish would be the one who gets most attention and also being easiest to start with.
PS: I know my English isn't perfect so keep that in mind before you go maniac grammar-police on me. I know I am not the best writer in the world and if it was hard to read give me feedback, it is one of my future projects
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United States24613 Posts
I am not sure if that is the best way to solve your problem you are having with that girl. Then again I've never attempted cognitive restructuring to avoid having uncontrollable urges to have anal sex before so I can't say I'm very experienced on the matter.
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i've often thought about trying this but uh, not with what i jerk off to
this blog was really not what i expected after the first half hahaha
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yeah....good luck with that.
Can we take bets on whether or not you succeed?
+ Show Spoiler +
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Hey, teaching yourself to have certain associations with things is really powerful but also really hard to do. Good luck and make sure you report back.
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firstly i concede that you're the psych major, and i am not, but it sounds like your problems extend further past having wierd fetishes or something. NLP is wierd murky shit, and is not the way to go about changing yoruself.
this blog just feels sociopath-y(esque? ic?) or at the very least aspie (aspergery? aspergeric? aspic?). I'm not a doctor, so i can only tell you how this makes me feel
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I'm not entirely clear on how the causal deterministic worldview relates with the later segment of your post. Either way I have noticed a tendency amongst people that whenever person Y says from now on I'm going to change X about myself, it pretty much always runs into the sand.
On August 21 2010 09:23 micronesia wrote:
Then again I've never attempted cognitive restructuring to avoid having uncontrollable urges to have anal sex before so I can't say I'm very experienced on the matter.
lol
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On August 21 2010 09:23 micronesia wrote:
I am not sure if that is the best way to solve your problem you are having with that girl. Then again I've never attempted cognitive restructuring to avoid having uncontrollable urges to have anal sex before so I can't say I'm very experienced on the matter.
Really temped to make that my sig :O
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IMO just another form of mind over matter...though anything to bolster mental strength is good.
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Watch really shitty anal porn, hopefully turns you off it.
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I don't mean to discourage you, but I think you got your way of thinking a little mixed up. All the examples you described, where examples of adaption.
The dog? He got food by a man with a lab coat so naturally over time he associated lab coat with food.
The rat? It gets an electric shock on red tiles, so naturally it wants to avoid them as a matter of adaption.
You having Snus issues? You stopped, because one day you realized, who damaging it is to your body.
You not liking drinking? You had a bad experience with alcohol in your youth, because you would get sick and not enjoy it (especially the 'drunk' part of being 'drunk'). Thus you associate drinking with boring and sick times.
Now you are into anal sex. However you never had a bad experience with it. In fact, when you tried it, you got into it even more. Now you try to force yourself to think, that you don't enjoy it, while in reality you really do. I predict this is not going to work.
Something you COULD do is having anal sex with your girlfriend and while doing it, she slaps your dick really hard. I don't know, have an unpleasant experience with it, so you can associate your fetish with actual feelings as opposed to thinking 'this is bad, this is bad, this is bad! I'm not sure if the outcome would be different, but the chances are definitely higher!
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You should've done it when you were 14. I have the exact same experience with turkish pepper. We had a bottle of very strong home made (bought from Estonian sailors or smth lol) booze. We put turkish pepper in it. The next day every time I tried to drink or eat I would almost instantly throw up. I could finally drink at like 9PM :D Almost 10 years later I feel sick even smelling turkish pepper shot.
Now that I'm older I sometimes drink tequila like crazy. My friend's heart even stopped once and he got to ER because we had a few too many tequila shots. However I don't have any problems drinking tequila. Maybe the method doesn't work after a certain age or something. Please post results.
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You're simply trying to trick your own mind into classically conditioning itself and I feel like it'll take a long ass time to trick yourself into it because you already know that there's no real consequence to it.
However, more power to you. If you're able to have that much mental strength then go for it.
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Whew well I guess you are dedicated. I dunno if I could bring myself to use that method to ... restructure myself.
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Step One: Purchase a Fleshlight designed to mimic an anus.
Step Two: Fill it with iron filings.
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On August 21 2010 09:46 Scarecrow wrote:
Watch really shitty anal porn, hopefully turns you off it.
haha right watch meatspin for like hours. you will never have an urge for anal ever again
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On August 21 2010 09:23 micronesia wrote:
I am not sure if that is the best way to solve your problem you are having with that girl. Then again I've never attempted cognitive restructuring to avoid having uncontrollable urges to have anal sex before so I can't say I'm very experienced on the matter.
I wouldn't say its a problem, more of a small annoyance for myself. And its not an uncontrollable urge, but more a liking where it has grown a little out of hand. Been together with my girlfriend for two years so its not that hard of an urge. Thought restructuring such a minor thing would be easier than anything deeper. Haven't done much reconstructing before so I'll start easy.
On August 21 2010 09:34 gods_basement wrote:
firstly i concede that you're the psych major, and i am not, but it sounds like your problems extend further past having wierd fetishes or something. NLP is wierd murky shit, and is not the way to go about changing yoruself.
this blog just feels sociopath-y(esque? ic?) or at the very least aspie (aspergery? aspergeric? aspic?). I'm not a doctor, so i can only tell you how this makes me feel
I know the introduction seems pretty sociopathic and cold, I don't lead my life according to it by saying that everything happens for a reason and that man has no choice and life is meaningless. I don't have any issues removing myself from reality or society in that manner.
I have just been going through a lot of changes in the last resent years and finding myself open to even more improvement in all aspects of life. I want to be the best I can be and was intrigued by by mind over matter in a more relatable way than meditation and yoga.
Did not mean to seem distant and sociopathic.
On August 21 2010 09 :47 lux[chavii] wrote:
Now you are into anal sex. However you never had a bad experience with it. In fact, when you tried it, you got into it even more. Now you try to force yourself to think, that you don't enjoy it, while in reality you really do. I predict this is not going to work.
Something you COULD do is having anal sex with your girlfriend and while doing it, she slaps your dick really hard. I don't know, have an unpleasant experience with it, so you can associate your fetish with actual feelings as opposed to thinking 'this is bad, this is bad, this is bad! I'm not sure if the outcome would be different, but the chances are definitely higher!
Adaptation = learning. I agree to some extent, but had you start to give the dog shocks when the assistant came in he would soon fear the assistant, changing the behavior of the dog. Like that I want to give myself bad experiences with analsex. Because I don't like have the fetish and want to get rid of it by adapting my experiences and therefore my thought and feeling on the subject.
On August 21 2010 09:57 Severedevil wrote:
Step One: Purchase a Fleshlight designed to mimic an anus.
Step Two: Fill it with iron filings.
Hahaha, could work but would like to be able to have regular sex again to, not being afraid to put my dick in.
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imagine you are having anal sex with some one with diarrhea who hasn't cleaned up properly back there
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Read Dan Savage's advice column. He's the only columnist who delves into kinks. He's answered your situation, oh, thousands of times every year.
Homepage
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=4684126
Dan Savage on the term GGG
http://www.avclub.com/articles/august-22-2007,1863/
"'Good, giving, and game' is what we should all strive to be for our sex partners, as in, 'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything—within reason.'" (Please note that "within reason," selfish, demanding kinksters.)
Google search result of Dan Savage on anal
http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/article-6388-savage-love-anal-about-anal.html
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On August 21 2010 10:26 igotmyown wrote:Read Dan Savage's advice column. He's the only columnist who delves into kinks. He's answered your situation, oh, thousands of times every year. Homepage http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=4684126Dan Savage on the term GGG http://www.avclub.com/articles/august-22-2007,1863/Show nested quote +"'Good, giving, and game' is what we should all strive to be for our sex partners, as in, 'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything—within reason.'" (Please note that "within reason," selfish, demanding kinksters.) Google search result of Dan Savage on anal http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/article-6388-savage-love-anal-about-anal.html
Have read a lot of stuff like that earlier in my teens, as I said I read a lot of sex advice. I don't need advice on how to get her to do it with me. If I wanted that I would have gotten it, convinced her or made her comfortable enough with it to do it. I know a whole lot about sex.
So you've kinda missed the point.
What I am doing is that I am trying out how restructuring works for me, and anal sex is where i am gonna start, could have been something else like smoking or anything
PS: I am a pitcher, not a reciever 
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okay here's what you do:
1. Girlfriend consumes laxative.
2. You penetrate her anally.
3. ...
4. PROFIT!
though if that excites you even more then I'd say give Dr. Phil a call ...
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United States24613 Posts
Renamed to: Restructuring myself: introduction and starting up
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On August 21 2010 11:06 nayumi wrote:
okay here's what you do:
1. Girlfriend consumes laxative.
2. You penetrate her anally.
3. ...
4. PROFIT!
though if that excites you even more then I'd say give Dr. Phil a call ...
On August 21 2010 09:18 c24papa wrote:
I am writing this here as I have seen that there is a lot of intellectuals here and I would very much appreciate feedback, good or bad, as long as it is a little thought true.
I know you got a lot of posts and all but, c'mon, this isn't 4chan.
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On August 21 2010 09:46 Scarecrow wrote:
Watch really shitty anal porn, hopefully turns you off it.
Literally really shitty. Like fecal matter all over the place.
Edit: ^ above post. Okay I get it, the joke was tired before I even got here.
I've often thought about the labratish training. I've found that certain smells are particularly strong for recalling feelings/memories. I spent a summer when I was very young at my cousins house while my uncle was putting new tar on the roof. To this day whenever I drive down the highway and smell new tar I become very relaxed and happy. I actually have loads of smell/sight triggers that remind me of summer vacations at my cousin's house. So I guess that's what really got me thinking about labratting. I don't know if it's as easy as all that though. I get the feeling that making the conscious effort to associate disgust/porn is going to be an act in futility. Not because porn is great or anything, just because of the extra mental effort you'll be putting in to forcing an association. Good luck in any case.
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watch "2 girls 1 cup" and you will forget about anal sex for some days. repeat this again until you are cured.
Also lol at trying to pet your dick.
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Ask your gf to stick something your ass in a painful manner.
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EPT
