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I like to cheer on my boyfriend when he plays starcraft, or root with him for his favorite gamers during Korean pro battles, but I worry that his starcraft passion might ruin him for grad school applications this fall.
In his field of study, previous research experience and professor's recommendations are very important . So I find it frustrating that he spends more than triple the amount of time gaming than doing his summer research. When I ask him are you worried about grad school, he says yes, but he still plays, often well into the night.
Making things worse, our college is on the East Coast of the US, so he often stays up till 5am-ish to watch live Korean games, which may last until sunrise. At 2pm I go to his room to wake him up to eat. After lunch, he continues sleeping for many hours. Sometimes he wakes up for a couple of hours to do his research (done on his laptop, so no need to go to lab). He wakes up for dinner and stays up till morning.
Any other summer I wouldn't mind him doing this, but this summer he has the grad school applications due in December and he has not made significant progress on his research. His work over the past two months+ of summer could probably be shrunk into two 40-hour weeks. He is always optimistic that he will make enough progress, but he will still compete with other students for grad school, and I don't see any of his friends (in the same field of study) slacking off research like he does. I have tried to ask him to sleep early and watch the replays the next day, didn't work.
Thank you so much in advance for any help.
Edit: We live close to each other, but not together.
 
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On August 12 2010 07:46 Jumperer wrote:
Tell him to go to bed on time in exchange for sexual favors.
Doesn't work.
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If he honestly plans on making it in the grad school world, he'll need to significantly change his behavior. Tell him to think of it this way, in grad school he will need that exact amount of dedication that he has to gaming, to doing research in the lab and obeying his professor's every wish.
And yeah, I'm a PhD in psych, in case he happens to be in a similar field and wants to talk any further
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On August 12 2010 07:47 number1fan wrote:Show nested quote +On August 12 2010 07:46 Jumperer wrote:
Tell him to go to bed on time in exchange for sexual favors. Doesn't work.
Deny sexual favours in exchange of Starcraft.
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A man chooses his own path. All you can do is gently prod him. He DEFINITELY knows the gravity of what he's doing, but immediate satisfaction takes first place in general in North America. You can not change him, you can only help him if he himself wants to change. So either you watch him and see if he has the strength of character to turn his situation favorable, accept this is a glaring flaw of his, or leave the situation.
Props for caring though/
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It can only come from him, I'm sorry. 
Wish you two the best though, and do you live together I'm assuming? (i hope you're not going out of your way to wake him up every day LOL)
I am a comp sci student interested in grad school (dunno what field he is in) and the same things apply, the passion comes within. The other undergraduates working in research labs both during hte year and in the summer are in two distinct categories: those with passion and those who fail (and/or get little out of it). There really is no in-between when it comes to academia, 'robotically doing the research' only applies to a few fields (yes im bashing bio/biochem research, i used to be in that field before lol).
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People on Olganon.org have these discussions all the time. If he's dragging you down, then you will want to honestly consider the option of leaving him. He won't make anything of himself if all he does is play SC. As a last resort, tell him that you will leave him if he doesn't change himself, and really mean it.
If he admits to you that he doesn't want to be addicted, then help him make an administrator account on his computer, and don't tell him the password. Use it to manage his time on the computer through the parental controls native to all windows computers. Have him then talk to your school counselors and try to make it so he can't play on the school's computers.
edit: if he needs help with getting to work instead of browsing starcraft vods, use this http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=142224
The main sites you will want to block (leaving access of maybe an hour a day) are TL, youtube, gosugamers, wfbrood, and google/yahoo videos. He can also try to manage himself with this.
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dont kid yourself man going to gosugamers will only decrease his passion for the game
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Say u will not have sex with him until he has finished his research paper completely
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Osaka27179 Posts
Sorry to hear that. In the end though, you can't force someone to do it. He has to learn failure before being able to change.
Even if he got into grad school, with those habits he might not do very well anyway.
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Is your boyfriend a TL user?
OT: I really hate having to watch VODs of games that other ppl watch live (east coast here too T.T) so he's probably better off not watching at all. Somehow try to convince him to quit, I'm sure you have some leverage being his gf.
EDIT: Maybe you could try to compromise, say you can only watch SC on certain occasions, or else [whatever].
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On August 12 2010 09:11 synapse wrote:
Is your boyfriend a TL user?
He is not a TL user, but he reads stuff in the forums about game strategy. He doesn't read blogs, so I'm safe.
Thank you guys so much for the advice. I'm going to try.
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On August 12 2010 07:47 number1fan wrote:Show nested quote +On August 12 2010 07:46 Jumperer wrote:
Tell him to go to bed on time in exchange for sexual favors. Doesn't work.
clearly he's not a guy, and apparently he sleeps way too damn much
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yo how is u you gon try to change ur man dat aint right homegirl a nigga gotta do what he gotta do knowimsayin? if he wantz to watch da starcraft then let him a nigga will realize when he dun messed up and he will be sorry ya feel me? or u could just leave his ass until he promises to do wuts right ya know?
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I have a suggestion! You should go save the wfbrood vids for him so he doesn't need to stay up so late to watch.
Then everything works awesome!
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On August 12 2010 09:34 Megalisk wrote:
yo how is u you gon try to change ur man dat aint right homegirl a nigga gotta do what he gotta do knowimsayin? if he wantz to watch da starcraft then let him a nigga will realize when he dun messed up and he will be sorry ya feel me? or u could just leave his ass until he promises to do wuts right ya know?
Gahhhhhh! You infuriate me with your poorly worded advice >
How would you feel if your girlfriend was living an unhealthy lifestyle fueled by drugs and starcraft minus the drugs?
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On August 12 2010 09:39 love1another wrote:Show nested quote +On August 12 2010 09:34 Megalisk wrote:
yo how is u you gon try to change ur man dat aint right homegirl a nigga gotta do what he gotta do knowimsayin? if he wantz to watch da starcraft then let him a nigga will realize when he dun messed up and he will be sorry ya feel me? or u could just leave his ass until he promises to do wuts right ya know? Gahhhhhh! You infuriate me with your poorly worded advice > How would you feel if your girlfriend was living an unhealthy lifestyle fueled by drugs and starcraft minus the drugs?
Notice good sir, what I am suggesting is to take 1 of 2 extreme routes. Either let him continue on his path of starcraft addiction and fail in his endeavors or to leave him until he does the right thing and gets to work on his stuff. And if my girlfriend was living an unhealthy lifestyle of starcraft..I would be OK with it..for a while..
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On August 12 2010 09:28 Divinek wrote:Show nested quote +On August 12 2010 07:47 number1fan wrote:On August 12 2010 07:46 Jumperer wrote:
Tell him to go to bed on time in exchange for sexual favors. Doesn't work. clearly he's not a guy, and apparently he sleeps way too damn much
yeah, is he gay? Who would forgo sexual favors in favor of watching proleague....
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On August 12 2010 09:43 Megalisk wrote:Show nested quote +On August 12 2010 09:39 love1another wrote:On August 12 2010 09:34 Megalisk wrote:
yo how is u you gon try to change ur man dat aint right homegirl a nigga gotta do what he gotta do knowimsayin? if he wantz to watch da starcraft then let him a nigga will realize when he dun messed up and he will be sorry ya feel me? or u could just leave his ass until he promises to do wuts right ya know? Gahhhhhh! You infuriate me with your poorly worded advice > How would you feel if your girlfriend was living an unhealthy lifestyle fueled by drugs and starcraft minus the drugs? Notice good sir, what I am suggesting is to take 1 of 2 extreme routes. Either let him continue on his path of starcraft addiction and fail in his endeavors or to leave him until he does the right thing and gets to work on his stuff. And if my girlfriend was living an unhealthy lifestyle of starcraft..I would be OK with it..for a while..
But clearly for the OP, that "a while" is up and Mr. Right's future is in jeopardy! T_T SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET IS IN TROUBLE!
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EPT
