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breaking up is hard to do

Blogs > Gene
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brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9639 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-08-05 03:17:33
August 05 2010 03:16 GMT
#1
ugh so i just had my fourth 6+month break up, and it was also my second 1yr+, clocking in at 1 year and 1 month.

for being only 21, i find it a little gross that i have spent so much time not being single. anyone else out there focusing on moving on?

i guess some relevant info is that i dumped her, it was semi long distance for the last two months but we saw each other every week anyway, because shes crazy. I met her while I was in college with no real plans of seeing her afterwards, and here we are.

*
Megalisk
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States6095 Posts
August 05 2010 03:19 GMT
#2
On August 05 2010 12:16 Gene wrote:
i find it a little gross that i have spent so much time not being single


[/brag]
Tear stained american saints and dirty guitar dreams across a universe of desert and blue sky , gas station coffee love letters and two dollar pistol kisses from thirty five dollar hotel room stationary .
powerbygood
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States54 Posts
August 05 2010 03:22 GMT
#3
haha i feel u man. In almost the same situation now hahaha. Well im moving on now
krndandaman
Profile Joined August 2009
Mozambique16569 Posts
August 05 2010 03:22 GMT
#4
--- Nuked ---
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
August 05 2010 03:25 GMT
#5
As long as you enjoy the relationships while they last, it's generally worth it. I think it's stupid that people use the fact that they won't last forever as a reason not to have relationships.
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
zeks
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Canada1068 Posts
August 05 2010 03:27 GMT
#6
i find it a little gross that i have spent so much time being single (me)



"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."
c.Deadly
Profile Joined March 2010
United States545 Posts
August 05 2010 03:30 GMT
#7
On August 05 2010 12:25 Pokebunny wrote:
As long as you enjoy the relationships while they last, it's generally worth it. I think it's stupid that people use the fact that they won't last forever as a reason not to have relationships.


This is a good bit of wisdom.

Have fun while you're in a relationship, but also have fun while you are single. Look on the bright side - you can use all the free time you have now to hang out with guy friends, go to the gym, play basketball, play starcraft. Pick up a hobby or learn something new to fill up the time and keep your mind off of things.
Divinek
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Canada4045 Posts
August 05 2010 03:34 GMT
#8
On August 05 2010 12:19 Megalisk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2010 12:16 Gene wrote:
i find it a little gross that i have spent so much time not being single


[/brag]


that isnt really a brag at all.

being single is much more fun, depending on your life style i suppose
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Oh goodness me, FOX tv where do you get your sight? Can't you keep track, the puck is black. That's why the ice is white.
Pineapple
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
New Zealand126 Posts
August 05 2010 03:38 GMT
#9
Yeah, I hate breaking girls' hearts, especially since they've confessed to you that they love you and want to marry you. I find it to be such a pain having to fuck one girl after the other all the time and not having time to myself. I guess it's just a curse I have to live with, being too attractive you can't really walk down the street without beautiful women noticing you. I feel you man.
JohannesH
Profile Joined September 2009
Finland1364 Posts
August 05 2010 03:41 GMT
#10
On August 05 2010 12:30 c.Deadly wrote:Have fun while you're in a relationship, but also have fun while you are single. Look on the bright side - you can use all the free time you have now to hang out with guy friends, go to the gym, play basketball, play starcraft. Pick up a hobby or learn something new to fill up the time and keep your mind off of things.

What's to stop you from doing those while in a relationship...
If you have to ask, you don't know.
Rinrun
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada3509 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-08-05 03:50:44
August 05 2010 03:50 GMT
#11
On August 05 2010 12:27 zeks wrote:
i find it a little gross that i have spent so much time being single (me)

Me too man, me too.

Breaking up is hard, but by looking at your post you shouldn't have too much trouble if it is true.
MBC/Liquid/TSM always.
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9639 Posts
August 05 2010 04:10 GMT
#12
On August 05 2010 12:25 Pokebunny wrote:
As long as you enjoy the relationships while they last, it's generally worth it. I think it's stupid that people use the fact that they won't last forever as a reason not to have relationships.


im glad you brought that up, because i disagree ENTIRELY. there is a difference between THINKING it wont last forever, and knowing it wont. I never go into a relationship thinking it wont last forever. generally in a relationship i also believe it has the potential to do so, becuase otherwise...:

when you are sure there will one day be an end to your relationship, why on earth would you continue it? that is nearly the same as leading someone on in my opinion, and it will only waste your time, their time, and hurt more in the end.
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9639 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-08-05 04:19:29
August 05 2010 04:12 GMT
#13
On August 05 2010 12:34 Divinek wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2010 12:19 Megalisk wrote:
On August 05 2010 12:16 Gene wrote:
i find it a little gross that i have spent so much time not being single


[/brag]


that isnt really a brag at all.

being single is much more fun, depending on your life style i suppose



and megalisk, while i guess some may find it that way, i agree with diviniek. Being in a relationship is really great and all, so sure maybe it could be a brag. But after spending the better portion of my last seven years in one, I really wish i had the independence to stay single. I don't, sadly. My times being single were always very, very fun. While there is still a lot to say for being able to wake up next to someone every day, when it turns sour and wkaing up next to them just sucks and you dont have the balls to end it for like another month, shit is torture.

On August 05 2010 12:41 JohannesH wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2010 12:30 c.Deadly wrote:Have fun while you're in a relationship, but also have fun while you are single. Look on the bright side - you can use all the free time you have now to hang out with guy friends, go to the gym, play basketball, play starcraft. Pick up a hobby or learn something new to fill up the time and keep your mind off of things.

What's to stop you from doing those while in a relationship...



Your girlfriend's INSANE jealousy. and he was also merely giving me ideas to spend my time not thinking about a very recent ex, and I thank you very much, c.Deadly. Which is typically something hard to do. I just pick up smoking again.
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9639 Posts
August 05 2010 04:15 GMT
#14
On August 05 2010 12:38 Pineapple wrote:
Yeah, I hate breaking girls' hearts, especially since they've confessed to you that they love you and want to marry you. I find it to be such a pain having to fuck one girl after the other all the time and not having time to myself. I guess it's just a curse I have to live with, being too attractive you can't really walk down the street without beautiful women noticing you. I feel you man.


i have no idea what to make of your post. I dont think i've put out the idea that i sleep with many people. Because I really, really, really dont.
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
August 05 2010 04:19 GMT
#15
On August 05 2010 13:10 Gene wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2010 12:25 Pokebunny wrote:
As long as you enjoy the relationships while they last, it's generally worth it. I think it's stupid that people use the fact that they won't last forever as a reason not to have relationships.


im glad you brought that up, because i disagree ENTIRELY. there is a difference between THINKING it wont last forever, and knowing it wont. I never go into a relationship thinking it wont last forever. generally in a relationship i also believe it has the potential to do so, becuase otherwise...:

when you are sure there will one day be an end to your relationship, why on earth would you continue it? that is nearly the same as leading someone on in my opinion, and it will only waste your time, their time, and hurt more in the end.


So do you think people under 18 shouldn't have any kind of sexual relationship, just because the chance of it ending in marriage is 0.0000001%? I'm pretty sure everyone acknowledges that their relationships in high school aren't gonna last forever, but hey, they're horny and have nothing better to do. Relationships aren't all about permanent stability anymore.
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9639 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-08-05 04:24:22
August 05 2010 04:21 GMT
#16
I dont think that is at all what i said, and if so, I surely didnt mean it. I dont think age EVER was a factor in what i said, nor was a relationship being sexual or not.

My point is, every relationship I go into, i fully believe it has a chance to last forever.

If and when i realize, no, it really cant, I should end it. I haven't been great at it, but I've stuck to it. My point is that if i realize the relationship is absolutely going to end someday, end it now. save the time and pain.

To clarify, in each relation in which i was the one to end it, i realized that I wont be happy in this relationship forever. There is going to come a day where i just cant take it anymore. When that realization has occured, I SHOULD end it asap. This time it took me a month, however. Which I am a little embarassed about.

That being said, I was dumped twice out of these four relationships. half and half.



Moreover, merely having sex with someone does not consitute a relationship in my book. a FWB, fuckbuddy, or anything similar is not a relationship. I would relate a relationship most aptly with something exclusive and committed. Though not a perfect description, im at a severe lack of words to describe it aptly in my current state. drowning emotions currently. working l ike a charm.
blahman3344
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States2015 Posts
August 05 2010 04:25 GMT
#17
You know what they say, it's better to have loved and been hurt than to not have loved at all.
Dont worry man, you're still young, when you find the right girl, you will know.

also, Happy Birthday Pokebunny! =D
I like haikus and / I can not lie. You other / brothers can't deny
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-08-05 04:27:07
August 05 2010 04:26 GMT
#18
On August 05 2010 13:21 Gene wrote:
I dont think that is at all what i said, and if so, I surely didnt mean it. I dont think age EVER was a factor in what i said, nor was a relationship being sexual or not.

My point is, every relationship I go into, i fully believe it has a chance to last forever.

If and when i realize, no, it really cant, I should end it. I haven't been great at it, but I've stuck to it. My point is that if i realize the relationship is absolutely going to end someday, end it now. save the time and pain.

To clarify, in each relation in which i was the one to end it, i realized that I wont be happy in this relationship forever. There is going to come a day where i just cant take it anymore. When that realization has occured, I SHOULD end it asap. This time it took me a month, however. Which I am a little embarassed about.

That being said, I was dumped twice out of these four relationships. half and half.


Meh. I've had times where I really thought I loved a couple people (yea yea I just turned 15 today, leave the "you're too young to know what you're talking about" shit for elsewhere) but I still recognized that it wasn't gonna last forever. That didn't stop me from enjoying while I "believed" it would last. I guess we just have different perspectives, which is totally respectable and I do see your side of the discussion.

edit to your edit: no, I guess when I said sexual relationship I mostly meant serious relationship. It's hard to draw a line.
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
RageOverdose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States690 Posts
August 05 2010 04:27 GMT
#19
On August 05 2010 13:15 Gene wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2010 12:38 Pineapple wrote:
Yeah, I hate breaking girls' hearts, especially since they've confessed to you that they love you and want to marry you. I find it to be such a pain having to fuck one girl after the other all the time and not having time to myself. I guess it's just a curse I have to live with, being too attractive you can't really walk down the street without beautiful women noticing you. I feel you man.


i have no idea what to make of your post. I dont think i've put out the idea that i sleep with many people. Because I really, really, really dont.


You haven't put much out. There was more info in your OP about how many relationships you've been in then there was details about how you feel about it all. Except that you are optimistic about relationships you get into initially, it seems.

I mean, dude, I understand the pain of being in a relationship you just realized isn't going to go anywhere and procrastinating the breakup for all sorts of reasons. His post is just sarcastic because this really does come off as kind of like you're just saying you've had a ton of GF's while only being 21.

It's like the dick touching the toilet thread of yore. It was probably legit, but at the same time, it just sounded like a brag about penis size.

But yeah, you gotta hold back dude. Stop the relationships for a couple years or so. I think you'll like it better that way.
Cr4zyH0r5e
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Peru1308 Posts
August 05 2010 04:33 GMT
#20
I feel you OP that's the reason while I ended up my relationships around 2-3 months into it if I saw it going nowhere. It makes you feel like a dick when you're doing, it but hey it worked for me in the long run ^^.
Diamond 4 Jungle/Support - http://www.twitch.tv/cr4zyh0r5e/c/3051057 Zyra support 101
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9639 Posts
August 05 2010 04:34 GMT
#21
Rage,
Thanks, I understand the viewpoint now. However, my point was solely that ive had too many long ones that hurt too much in the end. While some people I guess see me as lucky, I wish i had more time to enjoy myself without having a proverbial ball and chain. I'd love to keep myself independent enough to pull off the single thing. Not having anywhere to meet anyone now that im out of college might really help me out lol.

pokebunny lol sorry for editting my posts a trillion times, im having a rough time getting it all out there in a coherent style. obviously. and no, i completely sympathize with your POV. I wouldnt change a thing, each relationship was rewarding and i enjoyed it fully as long as i didnt have that feeling, itching, burning notion that it was going to end.

only just before your last post did I realize you were 15. But whatever, when I was 15 i was a romantic fool. props to you for being somewhat more realistic while still enjoying everything. and i completely get your point about serious/sexual relationships. I just didnt understand that it was simply an attempt to convey the relationship status, as im sure you noticed with the FWB/fuckbuddy thing.

this last relationship started off as simply a fuckbuddy sort of deal. my first and possibly last ever seeing how poorly that fuckin went.
chobopeon
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
United States7342 Posts
August 05 2010 04:35 GMT
#22
On August 05 2010 12:19 Megalisk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2010 12:16 Gene wrote:
i find it a little gross that i have spent so much time not being single


[/brag]


how is that a brag? sounds upsetting to me. being single is nice.
:O
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9639 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-08-05 04:44:04
August 05 2010 04:39 GMT
#23
lol someone rated it a 1
haha
bite me :D

and lastly,

happy birthday pokebunny.

even though im sure its tomorrow cause korean time is crazy like that. or starting half an hour ago if you're east coast. so HB.
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
August 05 2010 04:49 GMT
#24
yeah, i'm east coast, and thanks.

It's simply that I can honestly say I've enjoyed the relationships I've been in, and while everyone wishes things could've gone better, I don't regret the fact that they never became as long lasting as they could be.
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
SuperJongMan
Profile Blog Joined March 2003
Jamaica11586 Posts
August 05 2010 04:57 GMT
#25
Hey! Hey! I know you were drinking and all...
But wait about a month... I will make you facepalm to this so hard!
O NO! I DUNNO HOW TO BE SINGLE AND IM 21!!!

LOLOL! I'll make you cry blood tears of embarassment! Soon enough kiddo.
But I'm not mean enough to give it a 1/5... I gave it twice as many stars!

And pix, I wanna see how cute this long distance relationship girl was!
POWER OVERWHELMING ! ! ! KRUU~ KRUU~
DanceCommander
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States1808 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-08-05 05:41:53
August 05 2010 05:41 GMT
#26
On August 05 2010 13:19 Pokebunny wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2010 13:10 Gene wrote:
On August 05 2010 12:25 Pokebunny wrote:
As long as you enjoy the relationships while they last, it's generally worth it. I think it's stupid that people use the fact that they won't last forever as a reason not to have relationships.


im glad you brought that up, because i disagree ENTIRELY. there is a difference between THINKING it wont last forever, and knowing it wont. I never go into a relationship thinking it wont last forever. generally in a relationship i also believe it has the potential to do so, becuase otherwise...:

when you are sure there will one day be an end to your relationship, why on earth would you continue it? that is nearly the same as leading someone on in my opinion, and it will only waste your time, their time, and hurt more in the end.


So do you think people under 18 shouldn't have any kind of sexual relationship, just because the chance of it ending in marriage is 0.0000001%? I'm pretty sure everyone acknowledges that their relationships in high school aren't gonna last forever, but hey, they're horny and have nothing better to do. Relationships aren't all about permanent stability anymore.

poke you aren't even potty trained why are you talking about sex

happy birthday when is mG happening
LaSt)ChAnCe
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
United States2179 Posts
August 05 2010 07:12 GMT
#27
i'm 22 and have been with my girl for 3+ years, and have no qualms about not being single

it's cheaper (she's intelligent and doesn't want jewelry, so i buy groceries sometimes instead?)
sLiniss
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States849 Posts
August 05 2010 10:55 GMT
#28
I started my current relationship beginning of senior year (high school). I dunno what I'd do if it just ended. I guess just rediscover being single. Being your own man, no limits!
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
August 05 2010 12:55 GMT
#29
clean breakups where u dump and cut off contact are the best and the girl will respect it the most in the end

a girl would rather feel sacrificed than tortured

/artofseduction book
why so 진지해?
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9639 Posts
August 05 2010 15:33 GMT
#30
On August 05 2010 16:12 LaSt)ChAnCe wrote:
i'm 22 and have been with my girl for 3+ years, and have no qualms about not being single

it's cheaper (she's intelligent and doesn't want jewelry, so i buy groceries sometimes instead?)



There is no way im willing to believe being single is more expensive than being in a relationship. Going out to eat, buying her things, buying food for two. Movies, other amusements. unless you found a girl thats paying for you, in which case, kudos.
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary25996 Posts
August 05 2010 15:44 GMT
#31
Depends where you are in the relationship. If you're living together and through trying to impress each other it can absolutely be cheaper.
Moderator
LaSt)ChAnCe
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
United States2179 Posts
August 05 2010 16:54 GMT
#32
On August 06 2010 00:33 Gene wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2010 16:12 LaSt)ChAnCe wrote:
i'm 22 and have been with my girl for 3+ years, and have no qualms about not being single

it's cheaper (she's intelligent and doesn't want jewelry, so i buy groceries sometimes instead?)



There is no way im willing to believe being single is more expensive than being in a relationship. Going out to eat, buying her things, buying food for two. Movies, other amusements. unless you found a girl thats paying for you, in which case, kudos.


we live together, share rent, eat at home, don't buy much, etc

we never went through the phase where i buy her shit, as i said, she's an intelligent girl, and it helps that i'm not a dipshit out to impress her with my money (she comes from a rich family and i used to live in trailer parks and shit)
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