So I've been thinking about this, since 1.) I think girls are ridiculously hot, in general. But I like asians, mostly. 2.) I have very little idea of how to even approach or talk to girls. I guess I have more than a few female friends... but what tends to happen is that at some point I realize that she is pretty smoking hot, and things get terribly awkward from there. I have not found any successful segue out of the so-called "friend-zone." 3.) Among the few relationships I've had, none have panned out... mainly due to my complete social inadequacy. I mean, I can't even produce a successful hug without fumbling around to try to avoid squishing her breasts while figuring out whether to put both my hands on her back or just one over the other. I don't even want to think about kisses... I end up saying "wait!" while I pull out flavored chapstick and mouthwash to make sure I'm minty fresh. And when the 30 seconds rinse and spit are done, so is that romantic moment.
So... I've decided to approach this problem from a very systematic perspective: I want to create an algorithm (in the form of a mental checklist) to help me succeed in future romantic encounters with females.
For clarification: This is not an issue of "game." This is an issue of protocol. The difference is I'm not so much asking: What is the response that will get me laid? but rather... What is the "socially acceptable" response?
While many people are gifted with an instinct for social situations, I must, instead, rely on my stunning intellect to keep me afloat. Since, of course, I do not have a response for many situations the awkward moments in my life are many and in this one extremely important part of my life (that is, my interaction with the opposite sex) I would like to be able to dramatically reduce the quantity and degree of that awkwardness.
Below, I will include a series of condition/actions that I think are correct (read: socially acceptable yet compatible with my strange personality) ways to handle certain situations. (feel free to contribute or to correct me if you think I'm horribly misguided)
New Sensations! Condition: I just met the girl. Response: Say "Hi!"
Condition: Girl responds to "Hi!" with a friendly demeanor. Response: Say "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met. Can I have your phone number?"
Condition: Girl responds to "Hi!" with a hostile demeanor. Response: Break eye contact, look down and pretend it wasn't me who said "Hi!"
Condition: Girl responds to "Hi!" with an undecided demeanor. Response: Walk up close and say, "there's something in your ear!" Then pull a business card out of thin air and hand it to her.
Condition: Girl responds by turning toward you and revealing her face is horribly disfigured/deformed. Response: Stare O_O Then make a funny face of my own.
. . . Escape from the dreaded friendzone! Condition: I just realized my friend is smoking hot. Response: Call her with a cheesy pickup-line: "I was getting a little bored of working out my rock hard abs, and I thought it might be a good idea to do some cardio. Let's go swimming in my jacuzzi. Naked." or "So I was looking over your paper, and it looked pretty flawless until I realized you were single. Let's fix that error ASAP!" (These are just some that I'm dying to try)
Condition: She laughs so hard at the pickup line she starts snorting and I realized why I never considered her before. Response: Very quickly say "hahaha just kidding" and hang up.
Condition: After a brief chuckle she pauses and asks "Are you serious?" Response: ????
Condition: After a brief awkward silence she says "uhhh what?" Response: Hang up and look down at the floor in abject failure.
. . .
Rounding the bases! Condition: I have not seen this beautiful girl in a long time and she suddenly catches my eye in the doorway. Response: Prepare for a hug by gauging the angle formed by my shoulders and hers to the ground.
Condition: She is tall, so I must angle upwards. Response: Hook arms upward in hopes of latching onto shoulders to avoid falling down.
Condition: She is roughly my height. Response: ??? (where do the arms go?)
Condition: She is shorter, so I must angle downwards. Response: Hook my arms around her mid-back being sure not to put too much pressure.
Condition: The hug ends up not resulting in injury. A tender moment ensues. Response: ???
Anyway, that's pretty much all I know. Plz help T_T
Forget all you know, its not about some phrases you throw at girls and then their pants come off. If you have to see it as a sience, you gotta treat every girl differently. but yeah if you're insecure work on that not on "hey you are the most beuatiful girl i've ever seen" ;D
This reminds me of stuff I used to read online as a kid, people posting about their nights out or improving their game, all full of lols. You're alright dude, it's gonna work itself out. You can't have a standard response to a situation because girls are different. Just be your best self (take care of school/family/your body) and don't worry too much about the girls. Then when you meet that tall swedish blonde that wants to go for a walk, you can just say: "yeeeeah" and enjoy it
I can't understand why any girl would like pickup lines lol there so corny and stupid ahah some are alright I suppose but most are just sick and disturbing
Your situation is eerily similar to mine actually...I swear I had to double check to make sure I didn't post this. I too have extreme difficulties moving out of the friends zone and into that "other" zone. See, I don't even know what it's called! (I've only been there once in high school)
On July 27 2010 17:28 CorpulentBanana wrote: Your situation is eerily similar to mine actually...I swear I had to double check to make sure I didn't post this. I too have extreme difficulties moving out of the friends zone and into that "other" zone. See, I don't even know what it's called! (I've only been there once in high school)
realistically you shouldnt start out in the friend zone most of the time, though you would think you're in this zone based on what has happened. It just takes her a bit to show you what zone you're really in.
Anyway there should be girls you want to just be friends with and girls you want to get with, you should never be in a friend zone with a girl you want to get with, that or you're doing it wrong.
On July 27 2010 17:28 CorpulentBanana wrote: Your situation is eerily similar to mine actually...I swear I had to double check to make sure I didn't post this. I too have extreme difficulties moving out of the friends zone and into that "other" zone. See, I don't even know what it's called! (I've only been there once in high school)
realistically you shouldnt start out in the friend zone most of the time, though you would think you're in this zone based on what has happened. It just takes her a bit to show you what zone you're really in.
Anyway there should be girls you want to just be friends with and girls you want to get with, you should never be in a friend zone with a girl you want to get with, that or you're doing it wrong.
I think I'm doing it wrong. How do I get so I can say I'm doin it rite?
Honestly.. it kinda sounds like you are thinking too much about this. Just be yourself and have fun. Trying to map things out like this leads to fake responses that aren't really you and the girl ends up liking someone that isn't who you are.
On July 27 2010 18:05 Crimson wrote: Honestly.. it kinda sounds like you are thinking too much about this. Just be yourself and have fun. Trying to map things out like this leads to fake responses that aren't really you and the girl ends up liking someone that isn't who you are.
Only a certain part of our personalities is genetic. I like to think that through this thread I can improve that other part! <3
love1another's sig ""I'm learning more and more that TL isn't the place to go for advice outside of anything you need in college. It's like you guys just make up your own fantasy world shit and post it as if you've done it." - Chill" Anyone else spotting inconsistencies?
My personality tends to have gaping inconsistencies. Like I'm super flexible when it comes to food, cuz all food is good. But when it comes to life's important things like RTS or beautiful girls, I'm very stubborn. Maybe the proper word is picky. No definitely not, I'm pretty flexible when it comes to girls.
And learning how to talk to (female) people I like is definitely something I need to use for college!
I can't even produce a successful hug without fumbling around to try to avoid squishing her breasts while figuring out whether to put both my hands on her back or just one over the other.
If a girl is worried about getting her breast squished she would not give you a hug in the first place. I think you're more worried about your private space getting invaded not hers, so relax and gently squish the boobies. xD Just saying... ^^
On July 27 2010 18:05 Crimson wrote: Honestly.. it kinda sounds like you are thinking too much about this. Just be yourself and have fun. Trying to map things out like this leads to fake responses that aren't really you and the girl ends up liking someone that isn't who you are.
Only a certain part of our personalities is genetic. I like to think that through this thread I can improve that other part! <3
Which part are you trying to improve/change? The socially awkward part (no offense, sounds like what you are talking about. If I misread thread, my bad)? I used to be a deathly shy kid who would never imagine ever talking to anyone, and never a girl. What really helped get me over that was actually a really good friend of mine, who I now am dating and have been for 3 years. Being "friend zoned" is not always the worst thing to happen. My case might be an exception, but try to be friends first before trying to make a relationship.
I can't even produce a successful hug without fumbling around to try to avoid squishing her breasts while figuring out whether to put both my hands on her back or just one over the other.
If a girl is worried about getting her breast squished she would not give you a hug in the first place. I think you're more worried about your private space getting invaded not hers, so relax and gently squish the boobies. xD Just saying... ^^
lol i dont knwo what to say dude how can you be scared or even thinking about squishing her breasts when its some long time no see hug moment llolool fffffffffffff you gotta just relax and dont thnik so much
like how did you even start thinking about squishing her breasts and causing her pain in the first place gwtf
im sorry
but that was funny and ur condition response things are kind of weird as well haha
Can I say from the other POV, you are waaaaay overthinking this. Seriously. Just calm down already. You think girls don't get nervous too? Just take a few deep breaths.
And yes as above, there's nothing wrong with making a good friend. That's not a loss, right?
I know it doesn't really help to hear this, but the truth is, the more you work yourself up over a girl/girls in general, the less likely it is anything is going "to happen". Once you decide you don't care anymore, and you are cool with yourself the way you are/life the way it is/etc etc, then, well, it happens. How much you stressed over it previous that - in the end, doesn't really factor.
Omg I know others have said this but let me reinforce that you are thinking WAY too much. Hugs should be just that - hugs, without all the mental calculating x_x
@everybody: Ok, all hugs from these arms will henceforth be given vigorously--I daresay, even with reckless abandon.
@JohannesH: Ummm.... I'm not really entirely sure of my romantic objectives at this point. I very much like the idea of having a girlfriend, but am not even sure I the emotional (and potentially physical) implications of a relationship would make me happier than I am today, since I'm a pretty damn happy guy, generally speaking! Even so, I feel that my complete ineptitude in the flirting department is causing me to miss out on a big part of life that I might potentially enjoy
@Smix: Hi! :p
@chocopan: Girls get nervous too? Most of the girls I spend time with are incredibly intelligent, good-looking, and have very strong decisive personalities. I can hardly imagine them getting nervous around little ol' me :/ I will take your advice, however, and for this advice I must thank you heartily! (Not caring seems to be an extremely effective strategy that I will carefully work into each and every one of my painstakingly crafted responses, hehehe)
Oh, and to all subsequent readers, could you help me fill in the blanks in my condition/response section in the OP?
I really have no idea how to hug somebody of my same height... does one shoulder go over the other and the other shoulder go under? Is the protocol right-over, left-under, or is it right-under, left-over?
Also, what do I do when the "tender moment" ensues? Do I just let the hug drag on awkwardly? How do I go in for a kiss? If my arms are now wrapped around her and I'm in an awkwardly-balanced situation, how do I disengage?
And what do I do, when a pickup line actually piques her attention? How do I make the transition from sarcastic humor to the tender vulnerability that is necessary for conveying my true feelings?
Anyway, the answers I keep getting are "don't think about it, just let it happen ;P" but in practice, these are highly nontrivial questions, whose obvious answers have gotten me into weird situations. (e.g. mmmmmmm hug is waaaaaaarmmmmm -> "uhhhhh.... you can let go now...")
On July 27 2010 21:28 love1another wrote: Oh, and to all subsequent readers, could you help me fill in the blanks in my condition/response section in the OP?
I really have no idea how to hug somebody of my same height... does one shoulder go over the other and the other shoulder go under? Is the protocol right-over, left-under, or is it right-under, left-over?
Also, what do I do when the "tender moment" ensues? Do I just let the hug drag on awkwardly? How do I go in for a kiss? If my arms are now wrapped around her and I'm in an awkwardly-balanced situation, how do I disengage?
And what do I do, when a pickup line actually piques her attention? How do I make the transition from sarcastic humor to the tender vulnerability that is necessary for conveying my true feelings?
Anyway, the answers I keep getting are "don't think about it, just let it happen ;P" but in practice, these are highly nontrivial questions, whose obvious answers have gotten me into weird situations. (e.g. mmmmmmm hug is waaaaaaarmmmmm -> "uhhhhh.... you can let go now...")
wtf have you like never hugged someone before its the most natural thing in the world lol like ... wrap your arms and hands around their back and not their ass.. ? !?!? lol
tender moment?? when it happens then you'll just both naturally kiss or wahtever man.. wtf
lol at ur 'mm hug is warm' thing. wtf she is a another person hugging you not a freaking pillow or cushion. dont hug her/ them for so damn long dude.'
sorry i just re read my post i put in way too many 'wtfs' hahah i'm so ineloquent -0 - well actually thinking about it i've never hugged anyone that was WAY shorter than me i think.. so.. maybe you're really tall? but you definitely do not have to do some 1 arm above shoulder 1 arm under armpit thing hahahah can you imagine that happening?
i guess if you're way taller then you just hug like.. around her arms? lol
sorry i just re read my post i put in way too many 'wtfs' hahah i'm so ineloquent -0 - well actually thinking about it i've never hugged anyone that was WAY shorter than me i think.. so.. maybe you're really tall? but you definitely do not have to do some 1 arm above shoulder 1 arm under armpit thing hahahah can you imagine that happening?
i guess if you're way taller then you just hug like.. around her arms? lol
I'm not very tall, but the girls I've hugged have been of veeeery different heights (one of them was my 10-year old cousin who is just adorable!)
On July 27 2010 23:01 Hawk wrote: what the hell
be yourself?? dont be some herb with a friggin checklist, jesus
Hmm... are you calling me Jesus? Or are you calling me an herb? :p
uhh dude. Having made up responses is not the way to go. Its obviously not gona come out natural not to mention your responses are terrible in the first place. That kinda thing will only work if you can actually deliver it naturally in a joking way. If you say that stuff awkwardly they will just be like ??Wtf?
like what every is saying. Just relax and dont overthink it. Like if some random girl says hi, just try to make some small talk. There is at least a chance that you guys might have some common interest to talk about. If you start with some pickup line there is no chance for anything.
if you don't have a mental checklist for guys, you don't need one for girls. girls will see through your bullshit canned responses from a mile away and will just label you as another guy who doesn't have the balls to treat a hot girl like a normal person.
also if you really want to work on your hugging, i'd imagine practicing with someone irl would be a lot more helpful than asking advice on a forum. you should do one of those 'free hugs' things. you'll be an expert in no time ;p
man who cares about being socially acceptable... it's too overated and im not exaggerating or sarcastic. As long as you don't do anything retarded to PURPOSELY seek attention to yourself doesn't bother me (ca'nt speak for others).
i mean seriously think about it. "okay im socially accepted, i got a few friends and its all because i put on a retarded memorized act to get it". I can't speak for you but i don't personally feel accomplished nor feel close to the friends i've made that way.
There are people that actually like those that break social norms, me for example, because they're just so much more fun to be around. I do'nt want all my friends to be some mindless normal boy that just follows the social bible about how to act. Be yourself and say whatever you want that comes to your mind. If anyone has the balls to do that in front of people just because its the way they are, my respect for them sky rockets.
But becareful not to over do it to the point where you PURPOSELY drag attention on youreslf, in that case its just annoying.
Just be honest about everything, why don't you admit your problems to a female or osmeone in real life, im' sure they'll respect you for having the balls to admit it in public in front of people. And if they diss you on it, fuck them, they do'nt worth your time anyways.
If you're actually friends with a girl, then you should never seriously use a pickup line. Ever. If you're friends, you'll know her well enough to be able to tell if she likes you, and things can move on from there. You don't just call up a friend and recite some one-liner. I guarantee she will say "wtf", or worse, nothing at all and that friendship will suddenly get veeery awkward.
If you're sort of friends with a girl (more like acquaintances) , but you feel you've been "friend zoned", it either means you need to man up and make a move (READ: A move is not always something drastic. DO NOT USE your pickup lines. They are terrible.) or she makes you feel like you're just friends because she is not into you.
Most importantly, be yourself. If some chart you made got you into a relationship somehow, it surely won't keep you in it. If you're ready to be with someone, they will want to be with you because of who you are.
Trust me, not acting on your feelings and dwelling on them for ages sucks. From my experience, this is what gets you into the "friend zone". If you draw things out with a girl you've just met, she will lose interest and you'll end up in the 'zone.
Therefore, act before it is too late. How the hell is it that you only realize girls are hot after you get to know them? Sounds like you need to get your shit together and man up.
Its better to talk from a preplanned list than not speak at all!!
Just try it enough, tweak around to make it better, like you would with a RTS buildorder... Eventually it'll get really good and you'll be able to pwn any girl
While many people are gifted with an instinct for social situations, I must, instead, rely on my stunning intellect to keep me afloat.
You might be Asperger at a certain level. Check that on wikipedia.
+
IMO being nervous and tensed might be a problem. Try relaxing, and if a girl tries to hug you, hug her back gently (tighten a bit your arm-surround if you like her). That can mean a lot.
This blog is so completely awkward. People who are successful with girls go in without a preconceived game plan because they can just go with the flow and seem like a normal person. If you go in with this type of algorithmic gameplan then you are proabably going to fail or get laughed at... alot.
You mentioned that you have many friends that are girls, so you basically know how to talk to a girl. The only main difference is that you make sure your intentions are known quite early that you are into the girl and want to take her out to get to know her better.
This doesn't mean you walk up to a girl and say hey i'm in to you wanna fuck? But you can instead just talk to a girl and say to her, "listen you seem like a really cool person would you like to get some food with me?" If she says yes, your in, if no then you just brush it off as a friendly request.
Girls are a numbers game, some will say yes some will say no. Even some girls who might be interested still might say no (which is using because of timing) but yeah I guess what I'm really trying to say is just hug a girl man. Show her that you can caress her breasts with your smooth and strong pectorals.
If a girl is your height and she's and she goes in for a hug just relax and gently hug and slowly increase pressure for a split second before you back off.
lol, if you can't even hug a girl properly, good luck snagging a girl of your own one day. practice on your mom, and go from there. if a girl wants to hug you, it means she doesn't care about squishing her boobs on you, so don't go making it awkward for everyone.
on a serious note, girls (and everyone else) like physical contact in general. if you want to seem normal, you have to be able make the normal social contact that you make with everyone else.
Chill and Rekrul you make the Blogs section worth reading. <3 you guys...
@ OP Work on your self-esteem. Try things like eating healthy, working out, dressing nicely, wearing decent cologne and of course antiperspirants. And like other have mentioned, don't get discouraged if you don't have immediate success. The more people you meet the more likely it is that you'll find someone interesting, attractive, worth your time, and who's interested in you.
Wow... this thread sort of evolved from 1.) misunderstanding 2.) brief attempts to help mixed with "lol"s. 3.) people realizing that I wasn't trolling. 4.) polite attempts at pity 5.) unabashed remarks pointing out my lameness 6.) me feeling terribly regretful and embarrassed that I started this blog.
On July 28 2010 11:47 derpaderp wrote: if a girl asks if you're serious, you should probably just go for the kiss
Thanks! :D This is actually really helpful advice.
do understand why. if you ask it in a joking enough way, then girls who aren't down are just going to think you're funny. girls who are considering it will ask if you're serious, because they hope you are. girls who think ur ugly know you arent.
if you arent sufficiently funny, then girls will ask if you're serious because they think you're a creep. at this point, you have nothing left to lose, so go for the kiss. perhaps you will earn a few points for being ballsy
On July 28 2010 11:47 derpaderp wrote: if a girl asks if you're serious, you should probably just go for the kiss
Thanks! :D This is actually really helpful advice.
do understand why. if you ask it in a joking enough way, then girls who aren't down are just going to think you're funny. girls who are considering it will ask if you're serious, because they hope you are. girls who think ur ugly know you arent.
if you arent sufficiently funny, then girls will ask if you're serious because they think you're a creep. at this point, you have nothing left to lose, so go for the kiss. perhaps you will earn a few points for being ballsy
edit: you also have aspergers
Well I just looked up aspergers, and I definitely don't have that I think my lack of instinct in this regard is because I was raised on cheesy romance movies/soap operas where the kiss is only saved for the very end!
And plus, aspergers sounds like "ass burgers." xD I might actually have that in the sense that my buns of steel are scrump-dilly-umptious.
On July 28 2010 12:14 love1another wrote: And plus, aspergers sounds like "ass burgers." xD I might actually have that in the sense that my buns of steel are scrump-dilly-umptious.
Do you watch Community? Pretty funny show, you should watch it... They made this joke there...
But yeah, do people actually use pick-up lines? I always just thought they were some obsolete phenomenon of the 90s that people on the internet still talk about for some reason. It's ridiculous to think that you can just get with a girl by using a single, rehearsed sentence that has an awful mix of vague, sexual innuendo and a failed attempt at comedy.
... No seriously, can you?!? I've never tried to use a pick-up line ._.
1) Don't get too excited and hug her too hard. Boobies are sensitive, and it's extremely painful if you squish 'em hard. :3 2) When hugging, most girls will reach up and put both arms around your neck so all you really gotta do is wrap your arms around her middle/lower back.
Shouldn't be so worried about screwing up "hugs" and whatnot though. If you do something stupid, just laugh it off and if she's got a sense of humor, she'll do the same.
On July 27 2010 23:31 YPang wrote: man who cares about being socially acceptable... it's too overated and im not exaggerating or sarcastic. As long as you don't do anything retarded to PURPOSELY seek attention to yourself doesn't bother me (ca'nt speak for others).
i mean seriously think about it. "okay im socially accepted, i got a few friends and its all because i put on a retarded memorized act to get it". I can't speak for you but i don't personally feel accomplished nor feel close to the friends i've made that way.
There are people that actually like those that break social norms, me for example, because they're just so much more fun to be around. I do'nt want all my friends to be some mindless normal boy that just follows the social bible about how to act. Be yourself and say whatever you want that comes to your mind. If anyone has the balls to do that in front of people just because its the way they are, my respect for them sky rockets.
But becareful not to over do it to the point where you PURPOSELY drag attention on youreslf, in that case its just annoying.
Just be honest about everything, why don't you admit your problems to a female or osmeone in real life, im' sure they'll respect you for having the balls to admit it in public in front of people. And if they diss you on it, fuck them, they do'nt worth your time anyways.
I didnt read it all,but Its the best post in this thread so far.listen to him!
Algorithms belong in computers and other logic interfaces. Relationships (and interpersonal contact for that matter) aren't logical - they're emotional. Emotion is NOT logical.
There's a scene in 'The Last Samurai' where Ton Cruise is trying to learn how to sword fight. A mentor approaches him and says this, which is also my advice to you:
"Too many mind. No Mind."
Meaning: Stop thinking so much!
Don't think about the hug, just hug her. Unplanned, impromptu embracing. And kissing? As long as you brush your teeth regularly you'll be fine, mouths don't really taste like much. Just do it! Logically breaking down your moves will make you seem robotic and I can't imagine any 'smokin hot' women will think that's a turn-on.
And if you're a troll, I'm sorry to myself for wasting my own time!
chill, you seem to really get into these relationship blogs. dare i say, emotionally invested? perhaps you should explain your affinity for relationship blogs, in a blog about affinity for relationship blogs
chill, you seem to really get into these relationship blogs. dare i say, emotionally invested? perhaps you should explain your affinity for relationship blogs, in a blog about affinity for relationship blogs
chill, you seem to really get into these relationship blogs. dare i say, emotionally invested? perhaps you should explain your affinity for relationship blogs, in a blog about affinity for relationship blogs
They probably don't have many soap operas in Canada..so this is his outlet.
I have a different attack plan for you. You're awkward and inexperienced, and nearly everyone that actually offered advice just told you to chill out and discard your planned responses. It's not that the advice is bad, I'd just find it difficult to jump from "oh god what do I do she's so close to me I can hear her breathe I hope my boner goes away soon" to acting smoothly and 'being yourself,' whatever the fuck that means. I've been at similar levels of social ineptitude, and here's what I'd suggest.
Watch people interact. That's it. You claim you have superior intellect? Well here's a good use for it. Any time you're in a social environment, make observations. See what works for people, and see what doesn't. Get rid of your checklist? Fuck no, you turn it up. Construct a mental web of switches, documenting responses, smiles, body language, pauses - everything. Don't only focus on the words a guy's using, but notice the underlying logic and strategy of his build order too. What does he do to make her laugh, when does he lightly touch her arm, how often is he being serious, what is doing in order to put her in the mood and state of mind that she's in - all things to look at.
If you're eating some strange cuisine, and you don't know what utencils to use, what order to eat things in, or what goes with what, how do you proceed? You can exclaim that you have no idea what's going on, face slight embarrassment, and get help. You could instead go in headfirst, thinking about your actions, what your available options are, and proceeding while thinking on your feet. Or you could just sit back, wait for other people to start first, and do what they do. Different people approach the same situation, whether it's girls, food, or whatever, in their own ways. Know where your strengths and weaknesses lie, and do what will work for you.
On July 29 2010 05:15 Box.N.Straw wrote: Well...if you really want tips on hugging... [...] 2) When hugging, most girls will reach up and put both arms around your neck so all you really gotta do is wrap your arms around her middle/lower back. [...] If you do something stupid, just laugh it off and if she's got a sense of humor, she'll do the same.
This is really good advice. Thanks! So that's pretty much what I had gathered. What about for girls my height or taller?
chill, you seem to really get into these relationship blogs. dare i say, emotionally invested? perhaps you should explain your affinity for relationship blogs, in a blog about affinity for relationship blogs
I really want people to be happy.
I'm sorry Chill, for disappointing you T_T Did I cause you to hate teamliquid by some bizarre combination of my stupidity and my bad blogging? I can't do much about my stupidity, but I assure you I put in a lot of effort for my poetry blogs! Maybe reading some forced iambic tetrameter will restore your faith in TL? :D
This blog made me laugh so much I don't even know how to describe it in English - I voted 5/5 ...and then the other blog killed my mood
Hmm I connected Chill's happy smiley to bolded parts in the other blog and laughed again x] and I can see damn google ads advertising Polish site for singles o_O
On July 29 2010 17:31 beetlelisk wrote: This blog made me laugh so much I don't even know how to describe it in English - I voted 5/5 ...and then the other blog killed my mood
Hmm I connected Chill's happy smiley to bolded parts in the other blog and laughed again x] and I can see damn google ads advertising Polish site for singles o_O
Like Rek said it was strange to read what you think about yourself after reading this one, I just don't know if you are for real in this one or not so I may be just completely misunderstanding everything. Now that I think about it I have a really hard time to describe it, tbh I think my lonelyness just kicked in so my reaction wasn't caused just by what I've read :/ my confusion was amplified way too much.
hhaa love the over confidence in the other blog and the total noobness and lack of confidence in this one... consistency in blogs its hard to get are you sure this is not a troll?
On July 30 2010 13:32 HeadhunteR wrote: hhaa love the over confidence in the other blog and the total noobness and lack of confidence in this one... consistency in blogs its hard to get are you sure this is not a troll?
The bolded part of the other blog was a mostly a joke. I wouldn't call it a troll, because in fact I am quite happy with my intellectual and physical endowment :p It was just a response to repeated statements in the thread that assumed I was white and that I could somehow use my nonexistent whiteness to my advantage.
This blog, I don't think, is about confidence but rather just a desire to better understand the part social protocol that has to do with courting the opposite sex. (In middle and high-school, I guess I was too busy studying to actually figure that part out.)
On July 30 2010 13:32 HeadhunteR wrote: hhaa love the over confidence in the other blog and the total noobness and lack of confidence in this one... consistency in blogs its hard to get are you sure this is not a troll?
The bolded part of the other blog was a mostly a joke. I wouldn't call it a troll, because in fact I am quite happy with my intellectual and physical endowment :p It was just a response to repeated statements in the thread that assumed I was white and that I could somehow use my nonexistent whiteness to my advantage.
This blog, I don't think, is about confidence but rather just a desire to better understand the part social protocol that has to do with courting the opposite sex. (In middle and high-school, I guess I was too busy studying to actually figure that part out.)
You can tell from certain signs if a girl is on to you but its nothing like a checklist.. life isnt a formula and no single advice works all the time or in a certain situation the one time i asked for advice ,and took it, on a girl "cause i didnt know what to say" was for the first girl i had been with.... then on it was done by a lot of guessing and observation..but no one here can give you real advice not even me..
So in other words, I can just say things like... "Hi! You seem really nice and cute and you make me all kinds of horny ;D" And then I grab her hand and start belly dancing (which, btw, I'm pro at)?
On July 30 2010 17:24 love1another wrote: So in other words, I can just say things like... "Hi! You seem really nice and cute and you make me all kinds of horny ;D" And then I grab her hand and start belly dancing (which, btw, I'm pro at)?
That won't result in 100% slap?
I don't undertand why you have to add the "make me [...] horny" bit.
Approaching girls is a bit like playing starcraft, all you need to do is practice until it becomes natural.
The mental checklist might be a good idea when you are at a supernoob stage, but your sucess rate is going to be low, just like a beginner starcraft player have to think constantly to do the basic things. You want to be a pro where everything has been internalised and done subconciously.
The quickest way to improve at starcraft is to play a lot; the quickest way to get better at approaching girls is to approach more girls. In starcraft, thinking about the game might help you a litlle but its all means jack if you don't play enough to gain experience; you get the idea
Like starcraft, you can join one of those social hug clubs and get a practice partner; get a Day9 type councillor who can help you; randomly hug your family members (a bit like spamming apm)
All im saaaying is you need to relax and stop thinking to much . Everyone make mistake in starcraft and everyone make mistake when approaching girls. You are not going to win every game of starcraft and not all your approach with girls is going to work well... If it helps, just think of them as one of your pals or something. The human race is still around, you have 2 million years of evolution and instinct on your side..
"I was getting a little bored of working out my rock hard abs, and I thought it might be a good idea to do some cardio. Let's go swimming in my jacuzzi. Naked."
"I was getting a little bored of working out my rock hard abs, and I thought it might be a good idea to do some cardio. Let's go swimming in my jacuzzi. Naked."
This is dumb, you need to say something natural to the situation, anything planned like this is just transparent and you'll never keep it up. You're just creating things to worry about, just act natural, if no girls like you, improve yourself then go act natural again until some like you. When someone likes you, attack!
your ancestors left you instincts that unconsciously process all social information infinitely better than you could hope to achieve with if/then statements. find your confidence, relax, and wean off of bizarre, stereotypical "gamer" blogs.
"I was getting a little bored of working out my rock hard abs, and I thought it might be a good idea to do some cardio. Let's go swimming in my jacuzzi. Naked."
Bahahahah
Let me know how that one goes.
Actually I'm going to try it.
I would if I had a jacuzzi
My friend actually used that line minus the rock hard abs part this weekend almost word for word. and it worked.
Ehm... Reading through this makes me feel well I dno.. Bad for you I guess...
So I'll give you some female back up for this.
Just be yourself around girls, either they like you or don't. No need to pretend you're something else. And if she dosen't like you then she don't and don't spend more time on her. Easiest way to get in a conversation is just like talking about intrests or fun facts and mostly about stuff she likes to. If you seems intrested in stuff she likes or if you both actually find something you have incommon, there's easier to get on with a good conversation.
And about the hugs, I doubt any girl hugs a random guy on their first meet, unless it's a date. And srsly about the squizzyboobs thingy... How the fuck do you hug her?! Like, her boobs should be against your chest so how could you possible squize them? O.o You dont want to hug her to death so I doubt her boobs will get hurt. And I bet you're taller than most of the girls so just put your arms over hers, since you dont want to seem desperate for her ass by putting arms under hers.
And dude, don't go for girls outside your league. Go for girls you know you're capable to get. And rather go for a cute,kind, smart girl than the blond big tits bitch. Unless you just want pussy.
I don't know what should I say here. For me, I use like one small "opening" line and then just improvize from there on, be natural, sound genuine and then at end of the conversation, remember to get the contact information!
On August 01 2010 00:38 Raysalis wrote: Approaching girls is a bit like playing starcraft, all you need to do is practice until it becomes natural.
The mental checklist might be a good idea when you are at a supernoob stage, but your sucess rate is going to be low, just like a beginner starcraft player have to think constantly to do the basic things. You want to be a pro where everything has been internalised and done subconciously.
The quickest way to improve at starcraft is to play a lot; the quickest way to get better at approaching girls is to approach more girls. In starcraft, thinking about the game might help you a litlle but its all means jack if you don't play enough to gain experience; you get the idea
Like starcraft, you can join one of those social hug clubs and get a practice partner; get a Day9 type councillor who can help you; randomly hug your family members (a bit like spamming apm)
All im saaaying is you need to relax and stop thinking to much . Everyone make mistake in starcraft and everyone make mistake when approaching girls. You are not going to win every game of starcraft and not all your approach with girls is going to work well... If it helps, just think of them as one of your pals or something. The human race is still around, you have 2 million years of evolution and instinct on your side..
On August 02 2010 07:36 Meeran wrote: Ehm... Reading through this makes me feel well I dno.. Bad for you I guess...
So I'll give you some female back up for this.
Just be yourself around girls, either they like you or don't. No need to pretend you're something else. And if she dosen't like you then she don't and don't spend more time on her. Easiest way to get in a conversation is just like talking about intrests or fun facts and mostly about stuff she likes to. If you seems intrested in stuff she likes or if you both actually find something you have incommon, there's easier to get on with a good conversation.
And about the hugs, I doubt any girl hugs a random guy on their first meet, unless it's a date. And srsly about the squizzyboobs thingy... How the fuck do you hug her?! Like, her boobs should be against your chest so how could you possible squize them? O.o You dont want to hug her to death so I doubt her boobs will get hurt. And I bet you're taller than most of the girls so just put your arms over hers, since you dont want to seem desperate for her ass by putting arms under hers.
And dude, don't go for girls outside your league. Go for girls you know you're capable to get. And rather go for a cute,kind, smart girl than the blond big tits bitch. Unless you just want pussy.
GL with the girl hunt!
Yay more girls on TL! Welcome to realposting you lurker! :p
I can't believe this thread has gotten to be this long. This is like ridiculously embarrassing. Is there some way I can close a blog?
On August 02 2010 07:36 Meeran wrote: Ehm... Reading through this makes me feel well I dno.. Bad for you I guess...
So I'll give you some female back up for this.
Just be yourself around girls, either they like you or don't. No need to pretend you're something else. And if she dosen't like you then she don't and don't spend more time on her. Easiest way to get in a conversation is just like talking about intrests or fun facts and mostly about stuff she likes to. If you seems intrested in stuff she likes or if you both actually find something you have incommon, there's easier to get on with a good conversation.
And about the hugs, I doubt any girl hugs a random guy on their first meet, unless it's a date. And srsly about the squizzyboobs thingy... How the fuck do you hug her?! Like, her boobs should be against your chest so how could you possible squize them? O.o You dont want to hug her to death so I doubt her boobs will get hurt. And I bet you're taller than most of the girls so just put your arms over hers, since you dont want to seem desperate for her ass by putting arms under hers.
And dude, don't go for girls outside your league. Go for girls you know you're capable to get. And rather go for a cute,kind, smart girl than the blond big tits bitch. Unless you just want pussy.
GL with the girl hunt!
Yay more girls on TL! Welcome to realposting you lurker! :p
I can't believe this thread has gotten to be this long. This is like ridiculously embarrassing. Is there some way I can close a blog?
Be yourself... having these "checklists" (most of which are corny by the way... the business card? "You're the most beautiful girl in the world?" Easy way to get laughed at.) just oversimplifies your interactions. You can't just say one thing and suddenly she'll be in love with you. I go through the humor route, so hanging out with them at first and just being seen as a funny guy helps in the beginning. Many girls like this, not all but a decent amount. Once a girl is interested in you (don't go after ones that aren't interested. Trust me I lost all of middle school to this lol) then you can start flirting. If you think they're still interested, ask them out on a date. If a few of those go really well, then you've got yourself girlfriend material. The dates don't have to be stereotypical dinner/movies, I got with my girlfriend by hanging out at the park.
TL;DR Don't follow longass checklists, but having a few general rules CAN help (don't go too fast, never insult them, make sure they don't have an insane murderous Russian boyfriend [woops]).
This is one of the best male thought processes I have heard. LOL I am a girl and have worked around nothing but men for as long as I can remember, and in the video game industry so I have seen some awkwardness for sure.
Let me see if i can help make sense of the women thought process in the situations, you thought out. (Situations not taking into account the Bat poop crazy ladies)
New Sensations! Condition: You spot an attractive lady and say "Hi". Girl thought/response: nothing, people say hi all the time, she replies "Hi"
Condition: Girl responds to "Hi!" with a friendly demeanor. Response: you say "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met. Can I have your phone number?" Girl thought/response: (how the man looks does not matter) girl thought = "And so it begins how do i get out of this?" She proceeds to walk away with an awkward chuckle, or rolls eyes and books it. And looks back a couple time to make sure you are not following her.
Condition: Girl responds to "Hi!" with a hostile demeanor. Girl thought: I am in no mood, I need my coffee and my vagina is bleeding Your response...step back slowly don't make direct eye contact. If she charges play dead.
Condition: Girl responds to "Hi!" with an undecided demeanor. Response: Walk up close and say, "there's something in your ear!" Then pull a business card out of thin air and hand it to her. Girl thought/response: Magic tricks? My weird uncle does magic tricks. Must leave situation
My thought: Make up a reason to interact, drop something on accident by her. If she picks it up and brings it to you she's a nice girl, if she doesn't she's a lamo. If the pen is brought to you say thank you, (Now she has approached YOU and gives her a feeling of control) Then after thanking her compliment her on clothes/hair pin, something small most people wouldn't notice. Now she thinks you maybe gay and is more inviting, seriously though this is a good thing. THEN she'll most likely go and to tell you where she got the item and from there the conversation starts. Don't compliment her eyes, lips, or anything physical right away. Girls hear that crap all the time. (The favorite I've gotten was, " Aye All Dat assss yo's?" and I barely have an ass) , wait 3 days of knowing said girl before physical compliments and only one a day. Until a commitment is made.
Escape from the dreaded friend zone!
Straight to my thought:. I personally have only dated guys I have been friends with for a few months. You want to like the person you are dating, what better way to know if you like them with out all the fuss of dating then, being friends first.
So you start to Like Like your friend, just go for it, make a move. If the sparks aren't there no harm no foul. Take a break from said friend for a week or two (no hanging out, but do talk/text about what you would normally, don't go all drama queen on her "why don't you love me!") then starting hanging out again. It should be like it never happened.
[b]Rounding the bases![/b] Condition: I have not seen this beautiful girl in a long time and she suddenly catches my eye in the doorway. Response: Prepare for a hug by gauging the angle formed by my shoulders and hers to the ground.
Girl thought/response: No big deal if she knows you, she most likely know you are already awkward. And the only way you can squish boobs is with a super bear hug. Boobs are very pillow like they will bounce back just fine no matter how you squish them. Unless said girl is 70...then they are more like silly putty.
Condition: She is tall, so I must angle upwards. Response: Hook arms upward in hopes of latching onto shoulders to avoid falling down.
Girl tip: Don't hug a tall girl around the shoulders, let her hug your shoulders and then you'll get the chance of boobs in the face FOR FREE!
Condition: She is roughly my height. Response: ??? (where do the arms go?) Girl tip: When in doubt just below the ribs, but not low on her waist.
Condition: She is shorter, so I must angle downwards. Response: Hook my arms around her mid-back being sure not to put too much pressure. Girl tip: If you are taller always go for around the shoulders, Just don't hug her head.
Condition: The hug ends up not resulting in injury. A tender moment ensues. Response: ??? Girl tip: Play off like you didn't notice the tender moment, girls love a good chase. Just don't make her chase for too long. We are also easily bored.
All in all if you are a good guy you will get a good girl. It just happens when you aren't looking for it. If you want laid, tell a super hot girl her shoes are ugly and walk away, She will follow you and tell you your dumb and what not. Brush her off, she will return. Then just be mean/argumentative/brush her off all night. She will want to sleep with you just because you don't seem like you want to sleep with her...and she can't process it because "she is SOOO HOT and everyone wants her hotness". FYI This trick only works on HOT girls.
On August 04 2010 15:01 BoRo wrote: If you want to get laid, tell a super hot girl her shoes are ugly and walk away, She will follow you and tell you your dumb and what not. Brush her off, she will return. Then just be mean/argumentative/brush her off all night. She will want to sleep with you just because you don't seem like you want to sleep with her...and she can't process it because "she is SOOO HOT and everyone wants her hotness". FYI This trick only works on HOT girls.
The last part was super funny (and I'm hoping a joke), but the rest of this response was extremely comprehensive and well-appreciated. While I've received a lot of useful information in the course of this thread, this is by far the most direct and to-the-point. I feel like you actually read my OP before posting
You actually confirmed some of the suspicions that I had secretly held, but never really wanted to admit for fear of being made fun of by my extremely attractive male friends.
Though I am but a poor college student and can't send liberal amounts of money to you, I am a believer in a certain kind of cosmic justice where somebody will stop you in the subway and bring you back the $20 you didn't even notice you dropped simply because you seem like a nice person!
EPT
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