My life as a stwodent

First off, let me lay the ground rules.
1) No using should of/could of/must of/other such variations. Type the full thing out so that it reads should have/could have/must have, or if you must, should've/could've/must've etc.
2) Do not use "I could care less" unless it is apparent through the context of your post that you REALLY could care less. Such a statement is almost always pointless though, so just don't say it

My life as a stwodent

Hello

My name is Carlos. I am a Masters student studying in Ottawa. Or rather, I was. But first, a bit of background on my status as a student; In 2007, I met my professor. A young professor he was, and together with a group of two other students, we were his first three students, coming from a wide variety of backgrounds. We loved each other very much, and we did everything we could to help each other, be it homework, moving (as in moving from house to house, not moving physically in a wheel chair or something), or ingesting poisonous liquid substances through the mouth area. One of them just recently defended his thesis, becoming our supervisor's first graduated Masters student.

On Tuesday, the 2nd day of the work week, I defended my thesis, becoming the 2nd of my colleagues to obtain my 2nd degree. What is the significance of this? Well, like any good teamliquid member, I must relate my life to Starcraft, so here goes.

Over the duration of my studies in Ottawa, various Ottawa LANs have been set up. Details can be found here
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=104884
I participated in these LANs and through these LANs I have gained a deeper understanding of myself as a person, learning about what my own destiny is.

My first Ottawa Starleague (more aptly named OSL)

If you perused the above link, you will have realized that the hosts, ella_guru (whose real name, I'm pretty sure, is Apollo Justus) and Shawn Gooser, had an ambitious dream to bring pro-gaming to Ottawa. They set up their little progaming houses, and invited all of the best players from all over Ottawa (and sometimes even out of Ottawa) to participate in this spectacle. I believe their ambition was met with astounding success, spawning the three most prestigious Starcraft:Brood War tournaments the world has ever seen, as well as the greatest CSL teams (Carleton U and Ottawa U) in history. But more on that later.

When I arrived at the scene of the big stage, I was absolutely blown away. Lots of professional gamers, ranging from faggoty to absolute divinity, were present. The stage itself was very impressive, with an observational facility complete with a gigantic screen TV. All the people there were there for the same reason. To make a name for themselves, and to make pro gaming explode in Ottawa. There were the hosts, ella_guru and Shawn that I mentioned previously. There was Thratur, known better as Cake, the coolest human being ever in the history of the universe, who had an abundance of cake and thus shared it with us. Seriously, this guy would shit out cakes, and we would eat them, thus making us all shit eaters, but delicious shit it was. There was a faggot known as nrg.NeverExpo, who at the time I thought was the worst human being in the world, but I was later proven wrong in a later OSL. There was this Quake pro-gamer that had a huge mousepad. There was also this nobody called Kennigit, and if I were to give him a nickname, it would be the ultimate weapon. And of course, the most feared pro-gamer in all of Ottawa (at the time), David Kim, who insisted that SC was too easy, so he turned to Eve. There was also this scumbag noob, Impervious, who thought he was cool because he played the scumbag zerg race. And of course, Sweet Hair (whose real name, I'm pretty sure, is Sweet Hair) who had really sweet hair and was awesome in every single way and I would likely go gay for. There are probably many people that I missed, but they were all crazy people. I, being the only Chinese Mexican Canadian that doesn't know Chinese, was nicknamed The Los. And so, as the night progressed, I was winning my matches, as expected, until the final matches of the night, when I had to face off against that terrible terrible noob, nrg.NeverExpo.

We played some random vs random games, and when the score was 1-1, he decided that he was hungry and wanted to make it bo3. I agreed. I picked Terran and he picked Protoss and we played a game on Medusa. The details don't matter, but I lost because he was a faggot.

And so the night ended and I earned myself a 2nd place finish in the first ever OSL

The second OSL - Breaking out of the curse

The organizers of the OSL had a very sporadic schedule, and the OSL was scheduled on random days. This meant that the existing pro-gamers in Ottawa had to be particularly skilled, and be able to react on their feet on short notice. Being the excellent professional that I am, I was up to the task and was able to show for the second ever OSL.

In this OSL, there were tons and tons of people. There was Jo(h?)n, whose zerg play was dirty, yet brilliant. We saw a return of Cake, noobass Impervious, the mother and father of progaming (the mother being ella_guru), David Kim, Sweet Hair and others such as wishbones, that I probably forgot. One name who didn't show, however, was defending champion nrg.NeverExpo, who was obviously too faggoty and scared to defend his undeserved title. However, this time, we had unexpected visitors from Waterloo. They both had very weird IDs, so we just called them Sub-Zero and Calm. Afterall, Sub-Zero did have an ice cold zerg, and Calm does have Calm's pro gaming genes injected into him. Or is it the other way around? The STX Calm injected the Waterloo Calm's genes into him so that he could compete with the big boys in Korea. Waterloo Calm took exception to this name. He did not like it at all that we pried into his life and found out about his experiments on genetic mutations as a means of becoming a Starcraft pro. But that's what happens when you sign up as a pro. The media finds ways to dig into your life.

This was a heated OSL, with Waterloo Calm facing off against Eve progamer David Kim very early in the tournament. After a heroic clash that noone saw, because anyone who witnessed such heroicness would have their brains implode from awesomeness, Waterloo Calm came out on top and had to face me in the semis. In the semis, I managed to dig deep into my Chinese Mexican pro gamer heart and somehow escaped the match with a victory, landing me another finals appearance in the OSL. This time, I was up against Waterloo Calm's sensei, Sub-zero. I had lost the first game of the series, going down 0-1 (and obviously, me calling him a skilless faggot to end the game). At this point, the fans were starting to call me Ottawa's Stork, on my path to my second silver medal. However, after a long and arduous clash, I finally won my first ever gold medal. Finally, I was out of my silver curse. Or so I thought.

The third OSL and the Golden Mouse

In the third OSL, the stakes were much much higher than before. At stake here was the golden mouse trophy. A lot of the same old crew showed. Still though, there was a lack of nrg.NeverExpo, so as far as I'm concerned, he didn't win the first OSL. However, there was a new challenger by the name of Chef, otherwise known as Sir Mr. Eduardo. This man changed my life. Here I was, thinking nrg.NeverExpo was the worst person on the planet, and here comes an even huger faggot faggoting up my life. I knew right from the time I saw him play SC in windowed mode that this guy was up to no good.

This OSL went pretty well early in the tournament, with that noob Impervious 4 pooling me like the lowly zerg scum that he is. Of course, I owned him because he has absolutely no skill at all and he's absolutely terrible at everything. I was marching toward the Golden Mouse award, stomping everything in my way, trying to cement myself in history as the greatest pro gamer to ever grace the Ottawa leagues. And then came the finals, where I had to face off against this Chef guy. For pics:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=107460&currentpage=9
I warn you though, the picture contained inside is absolutely revolting, and the person contained in said picture is the most absolutely disgusting person. I can see into the hearts of people, and this person is the most ill-intentioned terrible young man I've ever encountered. As you may have guessed, I lost in the finals, cementing my place as a perennial silver medalist. In the three OSLs hosted, I got 2nd place in 2 of the tournaments. Deflated, I had a good long look at myself. Oh, and btw, Flash beat Movie in the finals. However, one good thing did spawn from this experience.

CSL - Ottawa's road to greatness

Although, after 3 OSLs, it was clear that none of us liked each other, it was very clear that we were all very strong gamers, and had great respect for each other's skills and pro-gaming ambitions. And thus, the University of Ottawa CSL team was born. We had a rather large team, and the plan, initially, was that the team would be lead by the three-headed dragon, the ungracious leader Impervious, the evil force Chef, and the incredibly skilled and heroic me, Storklos. Our ace, Thratur, was unallowed to play, since his awesomeness would cause the universe to implode, and that it was simply unfair for us to play the coolest person ever in an amateur league. However, over the course of the semester, we had unlikely contributions from the mysteriously dreamy Simon, who noone knows. All I know is that I would go gay for him, and that his bm is on a level that even I would admire. We also had a 17 year old girl, named dRaW's sister, play for us through dRaW's account. See, we found a loophole where dRaW was registered as a UOttawa student, so he was able to play for the UOttawa CSL team, but since he's a terrible person and a terrible player, we got his B+ sister to play for us. Unfortunately, I failed in obtaining any pics of said sister. I'm sure, though, that any pics of her would be far, far, above B+ level

In our first CSL season, we ended up with first place in our division, our only loss coming against Tufts (brought about entirely by my loss). In the playoffs, we won through w/o + dRaW's little sister over Ryerson, who I must admit had the most kickass tag in the whole CSL (their tag was [RyU]. How badass is that?) and they were all terrible people except that Joseph guy, who was a Yugioh pro gamer. And in our game against Waterloo, I believe we also got a w/o there, and rode dRaW's sister's play to victory. Then, we had to play Duke in the semis, who fielded a full team, forcing us to win a game, which we obviously failed to do, landing our team a 2nd place finish in the Eastern Conference.

Oh yeah, and Carleton U (in Ottawa) had a team too.

I regret to say that as a graduated student, I will be unable to join UOttawa in their heroic endeavours to win in their 2nd CSL season. I would say sorry, but the thought of apologizing to Impervious and Chef is just so revoltingly wrong, that I will just leave it at that

Reflection and Destiny

So after my third OSL, and 2nd time getting a 2nd place finish, I had to do some self reflecting on my silvery ways. Was it simply a coincidence that I always got 2nd? Was this too small of a sample size?

After some contemplating, I realized that in my family, it was me and my older brother. Making me the 2nd born child the very moment life was given to me. And later on, I got 2 OSLs in which I got a 2nd place finish. Was it my destiny to always be 2nd?

And on Tuesday, the 2nd day of the week, I got my 2nd degree and became the 2nd person among my colleagues to do so.

PS: Please don't talk about Starcraft 2 in this blog. I need a break from that number

Whoa we both posted like, at the same time. I read the first few paragraphs and am shitting my pants LOLLING . Reading the rest now just sending my pre emptive love because you are baller.

Reposting interview in regards to the Golden Mouse

+ Show Spoiler +

Hey Chef, can you answer these questions for the interview?

Of course. Although I am now a big shot superstar, I will always save time for my fans.

-You're a royal roader, you must have practiced very hard

This is very true. Over the winter break I must have played at least 2 games on iCCup. Sometimes I worry about my health when I practice so hard, but I know that it is worth it to show good games to my fans.

-You played Game 2 . You also played Game 3.

Yes. I played those games very much. Going into them my initial strategy was to simply make drones and mine minerals. However, I had some feeling—call it star sense—after a minute into the game that my opponent was going to make military units to threaten this plan. This is why I adapted in both games to a more aggressive style of play than my fans are used to seeing.

-Once you won, you proceeded to make your opponent cry, and then you cried. Your preparations must have been very thorough

It is a little known fact that the only way to truly inherit the title of the golden mouse is to shed both the tears of your fallen opponent, and your own tears onto the mouse. This is why after the match I told my opponent that his dog died. I am sorry to any of my fans that felt this to be distasteful, but it was absolutely necessary.

-Many people think the Golden Mouse looks more like a fish

It is true that in most photos the golden mouse is too shy to show its true form. It takes the form of a trout so that those unworthy of its true form will not be able to taint it with their greasy stares. I assure you, however, I have witnessed its true form and it is a golden mouse.

-Last words to say?

I'd like to thank my coach, Wumbo, an imaginary pet rabbit that currently lives on the Russian space shuttle. Without Wumbo I would never have achieved so much. Also the men yelling in the other room. You have no idea how gratifying it is to kill a bunch of SCVs with lurkers and then hear eight people yell "OHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Thanks a lot and good luck at future event.

SHA-EFF HWAI-TING

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