|
Whore (draft)
My parents were at odds, it seemed.
"You dirty whore!" my father screamed.
His tone alarmed me, so I swore
To learn the meaning of the 'whore.'
Upon request, a friendly neighbor
Confided, "Theirs is quite the art:
They are professionals who labor
By spreading thighs a ways apart."
A gymnast, then, but why the ire
On my progenitor's behalf?
What kindled such infernal fire
That now consumed his kindly laugh?
Another smirked at my misgiving.
I frowned. He told me to relax:
"They're simply folks who earn a living
In dirty fashion on their backs."
I nodded back. No need to panic;
A whore is also a mechanic.
A third disgustedly averted
Her eyes. I begged - to some avail.
Before she slammed her door, she blurted,
"Their carnal knowledge is for sale!"
A teacher also! Such acumen,
Such ingenuity and grace!
The very pinnacle of human
Accomplishment. My father's place
Was dwarfed. With obsolescence nearing,
He could not take it anymore:
What good was art or engineering
Beside the talents of a whore?
With this epiphany asmolder
I ran, I hugged my mom anew,
And let her know, "When I get older,
I want to be a whore like you."
For old funsies on the subject, Whores in Starcraft
|
Smix
United States4549 Posts
|
Ah words, I love them so.
You sir are quite good with them. xD
|
|
|
Haha, really liked it. I find it funny that more... "advanced" words are used, yet the meaning of whore is misunderstood 
|
That was great, 5/5 
|
Great stuff! Did you just write that?
I only didn't really like the second to last paragraph. I didn't understand it and the sentences don't fit. Otherwise great job 
|
Korea (South)17174 Posts
|
good comical poems>>>> deep emotional poems.
And I don't mean comical like slapstick humor, but more what the OP did.
|
Baltimore, USA22260 Posts
|
|
|
United States24785 Posts
Was enjoyable. A question about poetry... is there any suggestion about whether to stick with ABAB rhyming or AABB consistently, or should you alternate, or is it completely up to the whim of the author?
|
this poem is full of win.
|
|
|
Automated voice: To promote this blog entry, please rate 5 stars.
this seriously needs to be sent as a viral email
|
Very rarely do I vote for blogs; this one is an exception!
|
On May 30 2010 10:21 micronesia wrote:
Was enjoyable. A question about poetry... is there any suggestion about whether to stick with ABAB rhyming or AABB consistently, or should you alternate, or is it completely up to the whim of the author?
Dont stick to anything, stick to your mind, let it evolve and let it free. Creating rules of poetry will only limit one's talent.
|
United States24785 Posts
On May 30 2010 10:40 rAize wrote:Show nested quote +On May 30 2010 10:21 micronesia wrote:
Was enjoyable. A question about poetry... is there any suggestion about whether to stick with ABAB rhyming or AABB consistently, or should you alternate, or is it completely up to the whim of the author? Dont stick to anything, stick to your mind, let it evolve and let it free. Creating rules of poetry will only limit one's talent.
Is that only true for poetry or other writing as well?
|
Very nice. I'm thoroughly impressed. Hahaha. xD
EDIT: And for some some reason, I totally awed at the last lines with.....narrator and mom? (don't know if it's a boy or girl)
|
|
|
|
|
very good poem
|
|
|
dictionary.com cuz i don't understand half those words. all i know is it is about a whore who is your mom. 5 stars
|
Amazing... I think I have one of your earlier ones in my profile lol
|
Lol'ed so hard. Genius, pure genius.
|
Art! I love loved it.
|
5/5 gj )
|
haha that is absolutly amazing. 5/5 ^_^
|
|
|
Thanks guys.
Raize, I strongly disagree. Rigid structure helps a ton when you're starting, almost like practicing scales on the piano.
|
|
|
Wow, this was really good and funny, I think you should write your own Canterbury Tales
|
|
|
|
|
Hong Kong20321 Posts
|
|
|
hahahaha that was great! you've got some definite talent.
|
Canada7170 Posts
|
Austin10833 Posts
a bump for one of my favorite modern poets.
|
Norway28875 Posts
|
Well done mate. Fond this to be very awesome indeed! 5/5!
|
5/5. Clever and hilarious. <3
|
Yeah, I really enjoyed this. Very nicely done!
|
On May 30 2010 10:40 rAize wrote:Show nested quote +On May 30 2010 10:21 micronesia wrote:
Was enjoyable. A question about poetry... is there any suggestion about whether to stick with ABAB rhyming or AABB consistently, or should you alternate, or is it completely up to the whim of the author? Dont stick to anything, stick to your mind, let it evolve and let it free. Creating rules of poetry will only limit one's talent.
i think that's a bad way of looking at it. there's nothing that limiting to sticking with a format, it takes creativity and skill to work within one and people appreciate the ingenuity of those who make them work well. the "limitations" that a structured poem can actually be seen as liberating.
edit: on the other hand i agree with the spirit of what you're saying
|
|
|
|
|
United States10328 Posts
ahahahaha this is so good
|
FREEAGLELAND26782 Posts
|
I totally clicked on this threading thinking it would be another thread to be closed in the near future.
Instead, I got a poem of sheer awesome
Thanks.
|
|
|
|
|
On May 30 2010 10:42 micronesia wrote:Show nested quote +On May 30 2010 10:40 rAize wrote:On May 30 2010 10:21 micronesia wrote:
Was enjoyable. A question about poetry... is there any suggestion about whether to stick with ABAB rhyming or AABB consistently, or should you alternate, or is it completely up to the whim of the author? Dont stick to anything, stick to your mind, let it evolve and let it free. Creating rules of poetry will only limit one's talent. Is that only true for poetry or other writing as well?
everything!
I think it's our most common struggle
|
creative writing ftw!!! well done!
|
|
|
|
|
pretty good, but u keep changing the rhyme scheme and the length of each stanza or whatever they're called
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
