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Sweetness

Blogs > SirJolt
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1 2 Next All
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4015 Posts
March 30 2010 00:10 GMT
#1
Every morning, I wake up to battery honey.

During my idealistic youth, it seemed a very wise move indeed to care that there was a difference between free-range honey and battery honey. Under normal circumstances, a bee finds a flower, some blossom or other, and siphons nectar from it. Returning to the hive it performs a cavorting, insectile dance and further bees are dispatched, strip-mining the surrounding flora of their various fluids.

[image loading]


Of course, the whole process is ludicrously inefficient. Far easier then to simply leave sugar by the kilo directly outside man-made hives, bees simply filling in the gaps in a chain. They fly directly from wooden hives to the sugar, there is no interpretive dance here, the sugar is there daily, and over the course of weeks and months it is eroded, transmuted by means of an apian alchemy I can’t comprehend into a sweet golden gel that is, if not honey, then just distant enough from sugar enough that I can’t bring myself to care.

So every morning I stir my battery honey into the reconstituted shredded tealeaf broth, before I head from my house to work… and while there I write up documents that will likely be irrelevant in two day’s time. Quite much I get done doesn’t matter, more work arrives the next day, and there’s never quite so very much as to make things difficult. Still, I buzz from my house to work every day, and I bring home the sugar I use to… well, to do whatever it is I do when I’m not working, and then repeat the process.

Still, just when it gets you down, there’s always that honey

****
Moderator@SirJolt
Atom Cannister
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Germany380 Posts
March 30 2010 00:11 GMT
#2
Yes yes yes
...
JohnColtrane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia4813 Posts
March 30 2010 00:14 GMT
#3
honey makes my teeth fall out
HEY MEYT
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4015 Posts
March 30 2010 00:15 GMT
#4
On March 30 2010 09:14 JohnColtrane wrote:
honey makes my teeth fall out



Believe me I'm sorely aware of that fact
Moderator@SirJolt
BuGzlToOnl
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
United States5918 Posts
March 30 2010 00:16 GMT
#5
Honey is good.
If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4015 Posts
March 30 2010 00:18 GMT
#6
I was listening to a band called, "Honey is Cool" when I wrote this... I'm not sure that the two were related, but it was nice
Moderator@SirJolt
The6357
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
United States1268 Posts
March 30 2010 00:20 GMT
#7
On March 30 2010 09:14 JohnColtrane wrote:
honey makes my teeth fall out

is this true? -_-;
I thought natural honey was good for your health...
2010 worldcup!! corea fighting!!!
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4015 Posts
March 30 2010 00:20 GMT
#8
Good for your overall health, but not great for your teeth. Even natural honey is very high in sugar (being so very much nectar).
Moderator@SirJolt
Manifesto7
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Osaka27177 Posts
March 30 2010 00:23 GMT
#9
[image loading]


Good morning fellow drone.
ModeratorGodfather
JohnColtrane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia4813 Posts
March 30 2010 00:25 GMT
#10
On March 30 2010 09:20 The6357 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 30 2010 09:14 JohnColtrane wrote:
honey makes my teeth fall out

is this true? -_-;
I thought natural honey was good for your health...


oranges are good for your health but they are sugary so not so great for your chompers
HEY MEYT
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary26003 Posts
March 30 2010 01:27 GMT
#11
Nice read
Moderator
AppleTart
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States1261 Posts
March 30 2010 01:32 GMT
#12
that picture is making my mouth water
always tired -_-
Jibba
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States22883 Posts
March 30 2010 02:02 GMT
#13
Love that post.

The best breakfast I've ever had was just Moroccan fried flat bread (forget the name) served with honey and mint tea.
ModeratorNow I'm distant, dark in this anthrobeat
TrippLeC
Profile Joined March 2010
6 Posts
March 30 2010 02:05 GMT
#14
On March 30 2010 11:02 Jibba wrote:
Love that post.

The best breakfast I've ever had was just Moroccan fried flat bread (forget the name) served with honey and mint tea.

If that's your best you haven't tried my moms "half-pizzas"
Jibba
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States22883 Posts
March 30 2010 02:19 GMT
#15
On March 30 2010 11:05 TrippLeC wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 30 2010 11:02 Jibba wrote:
Love that post.

The best breakfast I've ever had was just Moroccan fried flat bread (forget the name) served with honey and mint tea.

If that's your best you haven't tried my moms "half-pizzas"

Care to send me some? What's in it?
ModeratorNow I'm distant, dark in this anthrobeat
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4015 Posts
March 30 2010 08:00 GMT
#16
I'm really glad people enjoyed the post

On March 30 2010 09:23 Manifesto7 wrote:
[image loading]


Good morning fellow drone.


I laughed out loud and woke my girlfriend up
Moderator@SirJolt
sc4k
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United Kingdom5454 Posts
March 30 2010 08:14 GMT
#17
Really nicely-written OP
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4015 Posts
March 30 2010 13:29 GMT
#18
Thanks man, it was only after I'd posted it that I realised that "insectile" definitely isn't a word
Moderator@SirJolt
tarpman
Profile Joined February 2009
Canada723 Posts
March 30 2010 14:52 GMT
#19
I enjoyed the post but I still don't understand what "battery honey" is.
Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4015 Posts
March 30 2010 16:25 GMT
#20
"Battery chickens" are the chickens kept in tiny pens so they can produce eggs and take up as little space as possible. They routinely have their beaks clipped etc. so that they can't harm themselves or escape the wee box they live in.

Battery honey is less bad, but it's basically when your bees make honey directly from sugar rather than nectar
Moderator@SirJolt
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