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Every single person has experienced it. That overwhelming sensation of having a 'crush'. Years later, I still feel it for girls I met long ago although some of that has been turned into anger or fear. But this isn't the topic of what I'm writing about.
These days, every girl I meet is set to the standard of past crushes. "Prettier? Smarter? Funner? Cooler? etc" And most of the time, the girl isn't. And this seems to give me power, because the only recurring thought is, "I can do better."
All the nervousness, fear, anxiety I use to feel seems to be numbed and I seem to attract these girls with much more ease. But what I feel towards them, isn't the same attraction. It's a, "I know you like me, and this is self-validating." I am attracted to this feeling, not so much the girl.
And as a result, I've become a person I despise. I never believed in true love, that there would be one girl who would be the girl of my dreams. But I gave that illusion to girls, and then brutally snatched it away.
I think on it now and feel disgusted. To some extent, I've always felt girls were objects, but it is only recently that I made the oh so very obvious realization that their heart is precious. And there is really nothing more cruel than to toy with a girl's heart.
And so here is my dilemma. Because for some reason, I've started to believe in true love. I recognize having a crush, an attraction; these feelings are manufactured. They are contingent on environment and on personal motives. And yet, I've come to internalize that in my life time, of all the girls I meet, there will be one that is special, and I will spend the rest of my life with her.
But I met this girl. And she liked me. And due to details I'm not going to discuss, things didn't work out. All the girls I've met after this girl, I've had crushes on them, but never the same feeling of spending an eternity with them.
What do I do?
My crush and attraction on them is genuine. But when the next best girl comes along, I will drop them because they are merely placeholders until I meet 'the one.'
  
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Girls shouldn't be compared with each other... they should be recognized for their own individual beauty.
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Stop comparing every girl to previous girls. Everyone is an individual, and there isn't a PERFECT person for anyone. The "one" thing really is just bullshit. There are plenty of girls out there that will be just as great if not better than anyone else you've met. Getting hung up on one girl who you either a.) Can't have due to random circumstances, or b.) She's just not interested, is just a recipe for disaster in the area of love.
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United States1027 Posts
Eh, it happens then you crush on someone hardcore and it works out. Don't sweat it too much.
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Sounds like you better go find the initial girl.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
dunno what to say, acting all lovey dovey and putting up a guise to get yourself laid is pretty pathetic
straight up honesty is not only more effective but doesn't hurt them
best way to make a girl respect you is to be real to yourself and her in every moment, if she can't handle that she doesn't deserve you anyways, not even for 1 night
and as far as it goes about ur first girl and not being able to get the 'feeling of wanting to spend an eternity' with new girls...well you can just consider yourself sane then lol
if it were easy to find the love of your life then having a love of your life wouldn't be all that special. just take it easy, don't be a d-bag to women, stop making emo tl.net blog posts, live your life, and eventually it will come to you
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On March 08 2010 19:18 Rekrul wrote:
live your life, and eventually it will come to you
follow Rekrul's words mate
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EPT
