On January 16 2010 00:21 Wretched wrote:
No offence, but if you are on an accelerated college program how can you mange to write something so difficult to read? I honestly thought English was your second language after reading your OP. Most people in an english speaking country would refer to their 'parentals' as "parents" or "dad" or "father".

Parent is the noun. Parental is more like an adjective.

I also don't understand why you had to write a thank you letter? And who it was for? And why it matters a rats why it needs to be formatted so perfectly?

edit: Just looked up parentals, and it can be used as a noun. I am surprised because i have NEVER heard it used like that before. Maybe its more common in America? you crazy Americans butchering the english language hahah!

edit 2: its still stupid, why would you add unnecessary letters and syllables onto a well established word?

edit 3: none of my spell checkers recognize parentals as a word

not sure if i can say it in a non-offensive way

youre an idiot

OP, i feel bad for you. Do as they wish, not like you have any options

Blueblister

Sweden321 Posts

January 19 2010 15:19 GMT

#44

You need to straighten out your dad. You are being abused and it seems to me you've gotten used to it.

First, if someone yells at you and calls you a fucking idiot, that is not acceptable. This is unless you deliberately have done something extraordinary vicious. It's not more acceptable because he is your parent, it's not more acceptable because he pays for your college. On the other hand, some people has difficulties holding their temper or just have ha hard time communicating. Usually "you're a funking idiot" can be translated to "you're wrong and I'm angry at you, but I cannot explain why".
My advise: If you know your dad has a temper and he starts yelling then tell him that he'll get another chance to lecture you when he has calmed down and just walk away. If you father respects you, he won't go after you.

Pushing you up against the wall means something more along the lines of "It doesn't matter if I'm right or wrong, obey me!". This kind of "physical humiliation" tactics are even more intolerable and valids an aggressive protest on your part. Personally I would either shout at him repeatedly to put me down (until he does) or kick him in the nuts to get free.

You must understand that this is not a healthy relationship and that you yourself have to make it change. Whatever your mistake was, it was nothing compared to your dads response. By apologising to him when he behaves like this you elevate his authority and encourage his bad behaviour.

It will not be easy, but to be able to change your dads misbehaviour, you have to change yours.

alexpnd

Canada1857 Posts

January 19 2010 15:36 GMT

#45

On January 20 2010 00:19 Blueblister wrote:
You need to straighten out your dad. You are being abused and it seems to me you've gotten used to it.

I agree, it is unacceptable. You will be looking for reasons for why you should tolerate it, money, dependancy etc. It doesn't matter if you're afraid it's unacceptable and you will be a better person for yourself and your friends if you cut the crap and shut down the abuse. You can do it.

Liquid`Drone

Norway28731 Posts

January 19 2010 16:33 GMT

#46

your dad is a complete jackass who really really needs some counciling. no parent should ever call his or her children "a fucking idiot" for making a trivial mistake. This is going to be very difficult for you to do, but you absolutely need to distance yourself from him, because there's no great tragedy as reoccurent as "child gets abused by parent but ends up being a virtually identical parent him or herself".

Carnivorous Sheep

Baa?21244 Posts

January 19 2010 18:02 GMT

#47

I can't beleive so many people are so worked up over the dad calling his kid an idiot. So oversensitive lol. OP is in fucking college not a five year old.

MooCow

1434 Posts

January 19 2010 18:38 GMT

#48

On January 20 2010 03:02 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
I can't beleive so many people are so worked up over the dad calling his kid an idiot. So oversensitive lol. OP is in fucking college not a five year old.

I don't think people mind that the parents calling the son an idiot or whatever but more the "fucking idiot" and also the holding him up against the wall thing.

Amarxist

United States371 Posts

January 19 2010 19:47 GMT

#49

I would comment but I found the whole post to be extremely perplexing to read. So your dad got mad at you for using a semi-colon over a comma in a opening greeting? Are they your biological parents? Well, I guess let some time pass by and reassess the situation.

These caretakers of yours seem to be really unreasonable. How angry do you have to be at life to actually be angry over something like a writing error?

Achromic

773 Posts

January 19 2010 22:26 GMT

#50

Seriously, what crawled up your dad's ass? Telling someone, "a fuckin idiot" to especially your son over a comma and a semi colon.

What I suggest is apologize (you might not have done anything wrong but...) and don't do something reckless like yell and try to fight back because things will get even more complicated between you guys.

Damn.

Blueblister

Sweden321 Posts

January 20 2010 00:43 GMT

#51

On January 20 2010 01:33 Liquid`Drone wrote:
This is going to be very difficult for you to do, but you absolutely need to distance yourself from him, because there's no great tragedy as reoccurent as "child gets abused by parent but ends up being a virtually identical parent him or herself".

Well, as drastic as it might seem distancing is actually a good self preservation technique if all else fails. First I would try to personally communicate one on one though (my guess it will be hard getting him to agree to counseling at this stage), that and start using the distancing method of walking away from outburst.