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Blah, another "fuck my life, what the fuck do I do" blog where I rant about a girl who fucks with my life constantly and how I want her to be my gf, rah rah blah blah.
I'll start with a bit of background. I met this girl in high school, probably around 6 years ago? maybe 7, fuck I'm old. Anyways, we were always friendly to each other, never anything more, hung out from time to time with groups of friends, all that good shit. About 2 years ago, we both joined the United States Army. To cut the story short a little, read the blog http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=89694 but basically her fiance of 3 years cheated on her with my girlfriend of 2 years while we were both in boot camp. Another long story short, her fiance happened to be my best friend at the time, so naturally, me and her became closer and closer as we double dated and all that good shit.
After we had found out that the 2 scumbags had cheated on us, we started becoming really close. We talked more and more, hung out more and more, and became really good friends. The past 7-8 months have been great since I got home from Afghanistan, we chat a lot (like at least once daily and constant texts back and forth) and we're really close.
The problem arose lately, however, that I think I'm in love with her. I haven't really felt this way about a girl since my slut ex girlfriend fucked me over, partly because I was heartbroken, partly because I haven't really tried or cared honestly. But my best friend is just perfect in my eyes, we're like twins. We love the same foods, same movies, same tv shows, etc. When we hang out we laugh constantly and we think as one. We've never had sex or ever kissed or anything, the most we've done is cuddle while watching a movie or something.
So I guess what I'm asking, all-mighty TLers, is what should I do? I know the obvious responses could be, she's your best friend for a reason, and best friends are better then girlfriends most of the time. Also, the classic, you don't want to risk ruining your great relationship for a possible fucked up dating life.
What would you guys do. Lately I've been thinking about asking her how she feels about it. I just don't want a situation to arise where someday down the road we don't talk anymore for some reason and I am stuck wondering what-if, but I also don't want a situation where our relationship falters or becomes awkward because I decided to ask that sillyness.
All advice greatly appreciated.
 
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Honestly, confess your feelings to her and ask her opinions on it the more you worry about the more you'll see it affect your already good relationship. You'll find yourself doing things you normally wouldnt when you were 'just friends' and if she starts dropping hints/figuring out beforehand it'll make it even harder later.
Take initiative imo, gotta capitalize on your advanage before you get into late-game because its so easy for girls to get map control later on. Shits crazy.
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better hurry before the friend zone.
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nothing like a good girl blog to get some lulz
my advice: girls are not that important ^_^
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Well......my best friend was a girl and she had liked me all along....
I think that if you guys like the same stuff, and you guys are enjoying each other already, I don't think it really matters whether or not you're together. To tell you the truth, it seems your relationship with this girl is soo beyond anything physical (I know, cliche eh?), that I don't think a relationship is absolutely necessary.
My advice? Take it slow. I think at one point, you know, just casually drop the consideration for a relationship, but don't let it get in the way your friendship with her. She definitely seems like a really good friend, and it would suck if you messed that up.
So yeah. To rap it up, just embrace what you're enjoying with her. At least she's not "cheating" on you like your ex-girlfriend is.
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On January 14 2010 13:43 Jaxtyk wrote:
better hurry before the friend zone.
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yea, if you wait too long, they might just as easily give up on you.
she's your best friend for a reason; most relationships between best friends that did eventually break up (usually didn't) ended up okay post-dating anywayzzzzzzz
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On January 14 2010 13:45 Boblion wrote:
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On January 14 2010 13:43 Jaxtyk wrote:
better hurry before the friend zone.
If they've been really good friends for 7-8 months as it says in the OP, I would say that qualifies as friend zone.
As for what you should do, I think you should either wait it out until you meet someone else to take your mind off of her (been there several times myself), or ask her in a vague manner somthing like: "I feel there's been an increasing tension between us lately, what do you think?". By doing this, you might open up the topic for discussion without actually admitting to like her. This can of course backfire if she replies by asking you directly something like: "why? do you want us to be more than friends or anything?".
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This is a classic application of ladder theory. Because you're up the top of the friend ladder you have a better chance of jumping across to the lower rungs of the boyfriend ladder. IMO jump.
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On January 14 2010 14:00 Eben wrote:Show nested quote +On January 14 2010 13:45 Boblion wrote:On January 14 2010 13:43 Jaxtyk wrote:
better hurry before the friend zone.
It's too late
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Go for it... have you tested the waters at all? What kind of responses are you getting?
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havn't really tested the waters much because i dont want to risk it but realy she;s driving me nuts! lol
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On January 14 2010 14:00 Eben wrote:Show nested quote +On January 14 2010 13:45 Boblion wrote:On January 14 2010 13:43 Jaxtyk wrote:
better hurry and get out of the friend zone.
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Just ask her dude. Go for it.
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Calgary26003 Posts
lol the friends zone is bullshit in this case.
what would i do if i was you? i would probably make a move because living beside someone youve fallen before without doing anything is terrible. but dont make it one of those bleeding heart confessions (which ive been guilty of too). anyways im sure you can see where im going with this.
good luck 
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So I guess what I'm asking, all-mighty TLers, is what should I do? I know the obvious responses could be, she's your best friend for a reason, and best friends are better then girlfriends most of the time. Also, the classic, you don't want to risk ruining your great relationship for a possible fucked up dating life.
Since when are the two mutually exclusive? Trust me, you don't want to live with this kind of regret if you decide not to act. It's better to try and fail than to never try at all.
It really comes through in your post that you feel something genuine for this person. You shouldn't keep this from her and you shouldn't keep that from yourself . By some weird, fucked up twist of fate, and against all odds, you guys wound up where you are now and it would be a shame if all that happened just for you to play it safe and not say what you want to say.
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The past 7-8 months have been great since I got home from Afghanistan, we chat a lot (like at least once daily and constant texts back and forth) and we're really close.
Friendzonealert. It might have been that you already missed the window to escalate properly, because of not having the balls to do so.
Lately I've been thinking about asking her how she feels about it. I just don't want a situation to arise where someday down the road we don't talk anymore for some reason and I am stuck wondering what-if, but I also don't want a situation where our relationship falters or becomes awkward because I decided to ask that sillyness.
In case you didn't miss it (or she really, really is into you), don't screw it up this way please. Please. TALK about "Hey, am I allowed to hold your hand / kiss / sleep with you?" or "What would think about us having a relationship before?" before sex are huge turndowns for most women/girls.
My suggestion:
a) Advance asap, classic "DVD-Date", get closer, get from non-sexual/playfull (cuddling, bit of fighting) into more sexual kino (kino=touching). Massage could be perfect. Show her that you have a thing between your legs and that you want to use it. If you aren't sexual towards her, she won't be sexual towards you.
Work from there, cross the point where she has to do something to get away from it if she doesnt want it ("I... erh... need something to drink/go to the toilet.."). If she does that, accept that, move to b) .. if she doesn't, go for it, stop hesitating.
b) So called "Freeze-out". Zero, and I mean zero contact for a while. How long depends on your relation beforehand, in that case I'd say 4-6 months should work out well. Try to get more confident around girls in that timeframe, work on your confidence in general. Then start the thing from scratch and start being a lover and not a friend in her mind from the beginning. The idea behind a freeze in this case is to get that "I really like him but not in THAT way"-ideas out of her head. It's almost impossible to change that when it's already there, but it's possible to let time erase that image and work from scratch.
If you are afraid to do b) at all costs then get over her asap. You're already way too attached in that case. Either you'll feel miserably cause you got "rejected" and still stay in her orbit or you'll feel miserably because you have never tried. You have to be fully okay with losing her to "get" her.
Feel free to PM me in case you are looking for general material in that area.
gl. <3
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EPT
