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Instead of editting my other blog, I figured to just make another one. To answer this question if she plays starcraft, the answer is she's played a couple of times. ^^ Anyway, today, she asked me to meet her at Starbucks and I happily complied. She told me she had something important to say, and I really think it was genuine, instead of it being an excuse of being just friends. At first, she told me she liked me alot, that she could marry me, which made me very happy! But alas, she said that being friends was best, even though she also said she liked me a lot. I can wait for her though!! She feels that she should be closer to God and focus on her spiritual life more and that having a boyfriend would be a distraction. Although it was disappointing, of course I had to respect that. I asked her how she felt about me, and she said in between being friends and boyfriend. So much for that whole marrying thing, right? But then, she said we could go from being friends to spouses, hahahaha...Also, she is this sort of youth group leader and there are already so many couples at our church, that if she was dating too, the younger kids would have this urge to do the same. In other words, she wouldn't set a very good example to others. Maybe she wants to behave as friends, but in reality we both like each other?
Then, we talked about the future and college again. She told me that there are plenty of other girls like her or even better, but I had to disagree. She told me that even if I did go out with other girls and then asked her out later, she would say yes. I then told her how disrespectful it would be to my future wife if I went out with so many girls, she seemed very surprised in a good way when she heard that ^^ (Assuming she does become my wife!) I asked her if she would do the same, and she said she wouldn't. (Confusing, right?) I said that would be pretty pointless to do that; I've actually tried to date another girl while still liking this girl but it feels like crap when inside my head I know I like her more than anyone else. The replies that I got about the whole long distance thing, I think that although I am obsessed about her and stuff, the stuff you all said was very pragmatic, so thank you all! Maybe her moving will be good; either it will really show that I love her, ^^, or maybe I can move on, which I really don't want to do. 
Well, I will try to stop posting blogs about this, I think it is the end of all this drama. Hopefully, our relationship won't be all awkward, and that something good happens out of all of this!
Btw, it would be amazing if we ended up getting married, haha what a story to tell. The only thing I would regret is that I didn't spend more time with her... ^^
 
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On January 11 2010 13:43 il0seonpurpose wrote:
She feels that she should be closer to God and focus on her spiritual life more and that having a boyfriend would be a distraction.
Uh oh...
My brother's ex-gf said this same thing and actually ditched him so that she could go to bible camp. It turns out that she just wanted to get away from him for a while...
On a side note... you are how old? and you are considering marriage?! I think that you should think things through a little more...
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By going by what you've just posted, she doesn't seem to share the same feelings you share for her. It sounds like she really cares about you which makes it very difficult to be straight-forward.
On January 11 2010 13:43 il0seonpurpose wrote:
At first, she told me she liked me alot, that she could marry me, which made me very happy! But alas, she said that being friends was best, even though she also said she liked me a lot.
"I like you but not in that way". Maybe thats her way of saying it. Her saying 'marriage' seems like false hope.
she is this sort of youth group leader and there are already so many couples at our church, that if she was dating too, the younger kids would have this urge to do the same. In other words, she wouldn't set a very good example to others.
How is that a bad influence? What if the youth leader was married? Will kids suddenly have the urge to marry other kids just because the youth leader is married? Sorry to sound sour but thats really a bad excuse.
Maybe she wants to behave as friends, but in reality we both like each other?
You know the answer when you gotta ask.
Then, we talked about the future and college again. She told me that there are plenty of other girls like her or even better, but I had to disagree. She told me that even if I did go out with other girls and then asked her out later, she would say yes. I then told her how disrespectful it would be to my future wife if I went out with so many girls, she seemed very surprised in a good way when she heard that ^^ (Assuming she does become my wife!) I asked her if she would do the same, and she said she wouldn't. (Confusing, right?)
This is what bothers me. She lets you date other girls and will say "yes" should you ask her out after dating other girls. *Newsflash* She might not be single later on. Why can't you just date her now?
She was "surprised" because your statement flattered her. Chicks dig that shit.
I really hope ya's relationship work out man. I just don't want you to got all-in only to lose it. Like I said before, the girl seems to really care about you.
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"Closer to god?" She is bullshitting you. Sounds like you're being led on like a puppy dog, no offense, I've had it happen to me =/ lmao
if she really likes you like she claims, then she would, you know...be with you. Of course, there is other circumstances, but that stuff about "setting a bad example for the kids" is the most obvious bullshit I have heard anywhere in a while.
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On January 11 2010 13:43 il0seonpurpose wrote:
She told me that even if I did go out with other girls and then asked her out later, she would say yes. I then told her how disrespectful it would be to my future wife if I went out with so many girls, she seemed very surprised in a good way when she heard that ^^ (Assuming she does become my wife!) I asked her if she would do the same, and she said she wouldn't. (Confusing, right?)
sorry can you clarify this part plz? does this mean she wouldn't date other guys or does it mean she wouldn't hold out for you like you would for her?
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On January 11 2010 14:42 Pengu1n wrote:Show nested quote +On January 11 2010 13:43 il0seonpurpose wrote:
She told me that even if I did go out with other girls and then asked her out later, she would say yes. I then told her how disrespectful it would be to my future wife if I went out with so many girls, she seemed very surprised in a good way when she heard that ^^ (Assuming she does become my wife!) I asked her if she would do the same, and she said she wouldn't. (Confusing, right?)
sorry can you clarify this part plz? does this mean she wouldn't date other guys or does it mean she wouldn't hold out for you like you would for her?
She would hold out :D
On January 11 2010 14:35 Kurosaki wrote:By going by what you've just posted, she doesn't seem to share the same feelings you share for her. It sounds like she really cares about you which makes it very difficult to be straight-forward. Show nested quote +On January 11 2010 13:43 il0seonpurpose wrote:
At first, she told me she liked me alot, that she could marry me, which made me very happy! But alas, she said that being friends was best, even though she also said she liked me a lot. "I like you but not in that way". Maybe thats her way of saying it. Her saying 'marriage' seems like false hope. Show nested quote +she is this sort of youth group leader and there are already so many couples at our church, that if she was dating too, the younger kids would have this urge to do the same. In other words, she wouldn't set a very good example to others. How is that a bad influence? What if the youth leader was married? Will kids suddenly have the urge to marry other kids just because the youth leader is married? Sorry to sound sour but thats really a bad excuse. Show nested quote +Maybe she wants to behave as friends, but in reality we both like each other? You know the answer when you gotta ask. Show nested quote +Then, we talked about the future and college again. She told me that there are plenty of other girls like her or even better, but I had to disagree. She told me that even if I did go out with other girls and then asked her out later, she would say yes. I then told her how disrespectful it would be to my future wife if I went out with so many girls, she seemed very surprised in a good way when she heard that ^^ (Assuming she does become my wife!) I asked her if she would do the same, and she said she wouldn't. (Confusing, right?) This is what bothers me. She lets you date other girls and will say "yes" should you ask her out after dating other girls. *Newsflash* She might not be single later on. Why can't you just date her now? She was "surprised" because your statement flattered her. Chicks dig that shit. I really hope ya's relationship work out man. I just don't want you to got all-in only to lose it. Like I said before, the girl seems to really care about you.
So she cares about me as a friend, but doesn't have the same feelings?
Btw about that whole God thing, haha, I'm pretty sure she was serious about it. She also said she wanted to wait until she was better prepared until she starts dating again.
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a couple questions,
are you as religious as her?
Friends to spouses? is that a joke?
how would it be a bad example for a christian leader to do be dating someone, unless your version of christianity is some wierd cultish kinda one
or w/e religion you are, (didnt specify)
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It sounds like she wants you to meet another girl and fall for her. To be brutally honest, I don't think that she is ready to decide anything right now, and maybe you should just follow her advice. Perhaps in a few years she will understand herself more and organize her priorities.
Of course, you don't have to follow anything that we say, but you shouldn't force her to do anything. It looks to me like she is trying to find a way to say no to you without hurting you, which usually does not work.
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GIrls take a long time to evaluate their potential mates. It goes on for many years, don't be discouraged. If she wants to remain friends, remain friends, and be a close friend.
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On January 11 2010 14:48 il0seonpurpose wrote:Show nested quote +On January 11 2010 14:35 Kurosaki wrote:By going by what you've just posted, she doesn't seem to share the same feelings you share for her. It sounds like she really cares about you which makes it very difficult to be straight-forward. On January 11 2010 13:43 il0seonpurpose wrote:
At first, she told me she liked me alot, that she could marry me, which made me very happy! But alas, she said that being friends was best, even though she also said she liked me a lot. "I like you but not in that way". Maybe thats her way of saying it. Her saying 'marriage' seems like false hope. she is this sort of youth group leader and there are already so many couples at our church, that if she was dating too, the younger kids would have this urge to do the same. In other words, she wouldn't set a very good example to others. How is that a bad influence? What if the youth leader was married? Will kids suddenly have the urge to marry other kids just because the youth leader is married? Sorry to sound sour but thats really a bad excuse. Maybe she wants to behave as friends, but in reality we both like each other? You know the answer when you gotta ask. Then, we talked about the future and college again. She told me that there are plenty of other girls like her or even better, but I had to disagree. She told me that even if I did go out with other girls and then asked her out later, she would say yes. I then told her how disrespectful it would be to my future wife if I went out with so many girls, she seemed very surprised in a good way when she heard that ^^ (Assuming she does become my wife!) I asked her if she would do the same, and she said she wouldn't. (Confusing, right?) This is what bothers me. She lets you date other girls and will say "yes" should you ask her out after dating other girls. *Newsflash* She might not be single later on. Why can't you just date her now? She was "surprised" because your statement flattered her. Chicks dig that shit. I really hope ya's relationship work out man. I just don't want you to got all-in only to lose it. Like I said before, the girl seems to really care about you. So she cares about me as a friend, but doesn't have the same feelings?
>_<
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Belgium6776 Posts
On January 11 2010 14:52 sArite_nite wrote:
GIrls take a long time to evaluate their potential mates. It goes on for many years, don't be discouraged. If she wants to remain friends, remain friends, and be a close friend.
Dude what the fuck?
way to talk a fellow brother into the friend zone
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This whole thing was very confusing lol. Well its good you both laid it all out on the table but it still seems like your in limbo. I agree that her moving might be best since she has some other stuff atm. It sounds mostly like bad timing right now and it seems women often like to feel its the right time. Still I hope this whole thing works out well for you (either you learn from this or you do get together). Good luck man!
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il0seonpurpose, next time she wants to talk about God, kiss her on the mouth and ask her why god would give her a pretty mouth like that if not for kissing. This girl just needs a little hot blood rushing through her veins. God goes quick when the hormones start speaking.
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Stop communicating with her for a while. Just drop all interaction for a week or two. Then when you finally do something again and she asks why say "I was busy" and leave it at that.
trust me
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On January 25 2010 03:38 StorkHwaiting wrote:
il0seonpurpose, next time she wants to talk about God, kiss her on the mouth and ask her why god would give her a pretty mouth like that if not for kissing. This girl just needs a little hot blood rushing through her veins. God goes quick when the hormones start speaking.
Haha
On January 25 2010 06:03 KurtistheTurtle wrote:
Stop communicating with her for a while. Just drop all interaction for a week or two. Then when you finally do something again and she asks why say "I was busy" and leave it at that.
trust me
Haha what would that accomplish?
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Calgary26003 Posts
Move on. But you won't. And then some time later you will move on and realize I was right all along but you couldn't do it without going through the motions yourself.
Also, stop being the knight in shining armour. That you can do now.
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Move on. There will be another girl in your life.
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On January 25 2010 13:07 meegrean wrote:
Move on. There will be another girl in your life.
As true as this sounds, it sounds so sad to me
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EPT
